3 Lessons Learned from Type A Con Plus Spreading Bloggy Love

From Wednesday thru Saturday last week, I was at Type A Parent Conference in Asheville, NC. And no, you don't have to be Type A to attend. It was my secret fear last year that I'd be found out and kicked out for being far from Type A.

And while I took some fun pics- I'll share some a little later today as part of an early Wordless Wednesday and some I'll post on facebook (click "like" over there in my sidebar- you know you want to!!!), and while I learned some valuable info, like how we can't under any circumstances have "like my/a company's facebook page" as even an optional entry in a giveaway, that isn't what I want to talk about right now.

Instead, here are some more general takeaways from the conference, to keep in mind for when you attend a blog conference:

1.  If there is someone you want to get to meet, GO TALK TO THEM. There were a few people that I talked to that had me inwardly thinking OMG, I'm talking to so-and-so and it probably showed on my dorky face.  But, I got to talk to them because I went up to them and talked to them.  Don't ever assume someone doesn't want to talk to you just because they don't approach you first. Conferences are busy and people get caught up in conversations. Most are not ignoring others on purpose and will talk to you if you make the effort to go up to them.  Don't jump to the conclusion that someone is snubbing you.

2.  It's okay to take a break for a little while.  While I went to some fabulous sessions at Type A, I also skipped a few so that I could go relax in my room for a little bit or walk around the adorable town of Asheville with my fabulous roommate/partner-in-crime/other half Ashley.  Conferences can be very go-go-go, and if you don't step away for a minute now and then, you might wind up burnt out and wanting to go to bed at 8pm... which brings me to #3.

3. Even though you will be really tired, stay up late and join the parties!  While I talked to lots of people during the day, the days were more focused on sessions, while I had more in-depth conversations with people drinking hanging out on the patio til all hours of the night. That was where I felt like I really made connections. Um, not the icky I'm using you to get something for me kind of connections, but friendship connections, y'all.

If you've been to Type A or any blogging conference, what tips do you have to add? If you haven't been, what questions do you have?

I'm also over at Creative Kristi's blog today, talking about someone I think does an amazing job at Spreading Bloggy Love.  

Making Blog Friends: 5 Things NOT to Do!

Last week, I wrote a post about 5 Ways to Make New Blog Friends.  I also promised you that I would give you my list of 5 things NOT to do when you are trying to make new blog friends.  Everyone has their own personal list of pet peeves when it comes to blogging, but I think that these ones are pretty universal.


1.  Do NOT play hard to get.  Make sure your blog and email are visible in your profile if you are commenting on a Blogger blog.  If you sign in with GFC, make sure you have a pic associated with your profile so that you will show up as the most recent follower, instead of being all the way at the end of the followers list.  On your own blog: have multiple ways for people to follow your blog: facebook, twitter, GFC, RSS, email subscription, etc.  Just allowing one way is going to lose you friends who don't like to follow the way you are trying to force them to.  Make it easy for people to comment, too. Allow comments without having to sign in: if you make people jump through hoops to talk to you, eventually, they will stop.


2. Do NOT get upset if you comment on or follow a blog and they don't instantly return the favor. Some don't do this at all. Some do return comments and follows, but they might be off-line or behind or only blog on certain days. Have patience and don't write someone off right away.  *cough, cough* I am personally really bad at twitter return follows. It takes me a few days to get to those usually. Oops.


3. Do NOT ask a blogger why they haven't been commenting on your blog. Especially if you haven't even been commenting on theirs. But, even if you have been on their blog a ton, you still shouldn't do this. You have no idea what has been going on in that blogger's life or how they handle return comments. I promise you that sending an email/leaving a comment like this is not going to end well.  If you do feel like you are good friends with that blogger, you can ask them if everything is okay. But, asking why aren't you commenting on my blog makes you seem like you only care about yourself.


4. Do NOT get stalkerish.  Sure you found a blog that you love. But, if you go overboard with comments/emails/tweets that make it sound like you are trying to hunt down that blogger to kidnap her and tie her up in your basement until she's your BFF, you might find yourself with a restraining order instead of a new friend.


5.  Do NOT forget that the blogosphere is a small place.  Things will get around: trash-talk or plagiarize and the blogosphere will find out.  You might think you are safe because you are trash-talking in the comments on someone else's blog that you are positive that the person you are talking about doesn't read, but don't ever assume that.  If you plagiarize someone's work, the word will get out. Whether it's a whole post or you are taking their idea without any credit, that's no way to make friends.


*I'm trying to stick to 5... maybe if I don't give this one a number, it will all be okay. This one is probably the most important:  Do NOT stop caring about other people.  As soon as you decide that you only care about yourself or you only care about your circle of friends, it will be apparent to anyone new who stumbles across your blog that you aren't interested in making a new friend.

I could keep going, but since I already cheated and threw in a 6th point, I'll stop there for now. Feel free to add your Don'ts in the comments.


Don't forget to come back next week to link up with a pic(s) of you with a baby bump for the #RockintheBump linky!

5 Ways to Make New Blog Friends

You have a blog. You'd like people to read that blog. Or you'd like more people to read it.

But, you feel a little stuck. HOW do you get to know people in the blogosphere? It really doesn't work to just sit on your blog and wait for people to find you.

Twitter is one way, but we'll (mostly) save that for another time. Today, let's talk about commenting. And I mean REAL commenting: the type you want. When someone comments on your post, you want to know they read it, right? It's disappointing if their post is all about them and their blog. "Come visit me!" or "Visiting from XYZ linky!" or continuing a conversation started by a comment on their blog without mentioning what you wrote is just rude. But, leaving a thoughtful comment is a great way to start a blog friendship.

But, where do you find the blogs to comment on?  Where do you start? I have a few suggestions for you! Though, I do have to say before we even start the list that you should start with those who are already talking to you! The very first blogs I visit each day are the ones who take time to comment on mine. THEN, I'd go look for more friends!


1. Choose a blog that you like with an active community. Where people comment and join in.  Now, go meet those people!  Click on their profiles and go check out their blogs.

2. Choose a blog that you adore and check out their blogroll.  If you trust their opinion, you will probably like some of the blogs on their blogroll, too.

3.  Join in a link-up that interests you. Probably not one whose only goal is to get new followers. But, one like my Pour Your Heart Out or Mama Kat's Writers Workshop or Only Parent Chronicles' Post-it Note Tuesday.  If fiction is your thing, check out The Red Dress Club.  There are photography linkies, recipe linkies, craft linkies: chose something that you actually like!  And then YOU go visit as many of the linkers as you possibly can.

4.  Check out the blogs of people you follow on twitter. No, not every person on twitter has a blog, but if you enjoy talking to someone on twitter, check out their profile and see if they do have a blog.

5.  Ask on twitter- tweet out "Tell me your favorite blog that I might not know about!" Or you could even blog this and ask for suggestions.

Hey, I'll do this right now- when you comment, leave a link to a blog you love.

Come back next week for part 2 of Making Blog Friends: 5 Things NOT to Do

A Company That Knows How to Work With Bloggers: Lessons from GE Momsperience

I spent Saturday-Tuesday at the GE Momsperience event in Louisville, KY. And while I had an absolute blast and have some fun pics to share with you, what I wanted to write about first is the job they did working with bloggers.

We hear a lot of complaining about companies who ask bloggers to do a ton for them, without any sort of compensation in return; companies that know they "should" be working with bloggers yet they don't have a clue how to do it; companies that end up coming off as offensive to those of us in the blogging community.

But, today, I'm going to talk about GE, a company that got it right.  And no, I wasn't asked by GE to write a post about this. In fact, I was told numerous times by various GE peeps that they don't expect us to write even one post about it. While I'm sure they'd like us to, there was no requirement.

Here's what GE did right:

1. It's obvious they took their time planning this event: deciding who to invite and what to do during the event.  While Regan, who is cute as can be, came up with the idea back during Blissdom, it took GE a few months to pitch the event to bloggers.  Megan, who is usually the one tweeting for GE and who is not only darling but so incredibly personable, really took her time researching bloggers: she looked at authentic conversations on twitter and read our blogs.  They also chose bloggers from a wide variety of areas: it was not the same incentuous little group of bloggers who get invited everywhere: most of us have very different audiences.

2.  They took care of everything and valued our time.  When I first got the email from Megan inviting me to this event, I scanned it, thinking oh, this would be nice, but I'll never be able to make it work. Until I got to the point in the email where they said that all of our expenses would be paid and everything would be arranged for us. Would I have wanted to go otherwise? Absolutely- it's GE!  But, would I have been able to go if everything wasn't taken care of for us? No, unfortunately not.  In addition, anytime I thanked any GE person for having us there(including Nancy, who arranged all our travel- whom I may have almost knocked over because I hugged her so hard), they all said something along the lines of "No, thank YOU for giving up your time to be here." There was no sense of "we are putting on this fabulous event for you, so you better be thankful to be here." I WAS thankful, still AM thankful... but they knew that they wanted us there and acted that way.

3.  GE had a mix of events for us, with lots of personal touches.  On our first night, we had a martini party where we created fun hats that we'd wear the next night to Churchill Downs. We met and talked to a lot of GE employees in an informal environment.  We went to the GE Monogram Experience Center on Monday, where we heard from a variety of the departments and got to explore the products.  We donned aprons and cooked our lunches, as instructed by GE's fabulous chefs.  We went to Churchill Downs that night, all dolled up and in our hats for dinner.  Tuesday morning, we went to the Kentucky Arts and Crafts Museum, and then back to the Experience Center for a wrap up session. While this doesn't begin to describe all we did, GE had a good balance of events that were just for fun, ones to educate us about them, and ones where they were getting feedback from us.

4. Speaking of the blogger feedback, this one deserves its own point.  I really wasn't sure what to expect from the sessions. I thought it might be possible that we would get talked TO a lot. You know: GE telling us how fabulous they are. And really, they are. How did I not know about the GE Advantium? And every time I think about the GE Profile Front Load Washer and Dryer, I actually say outloud "Hello, Lover" in my best Carrie-Bradshaw-talking-about-shoes voice. Even in my sleep. Because I dream about those things. A-hem, back to my point. Sure, they gave us plenty of info about their products and their company. But, everyone we talked to wanted our feedback. They wanted to know what WE thought about their products, what we wanted in a product, what we thought about the way they did things, and how we could work together. And they listened. And even took notes.

5. GE said that this is not an "in and out relationship"- they didn't bring us there to make us fall in love with them and then never talk to us again.  Once again, it was the feeling of being valued that really struck me.

Now, as much as I adore GE and loved the GE Momsperience event, I'm going to give you my very petty short list of things that they could have improved on. It's not much. But, I tend to trust someone who can give me both pros and cons, not someone who never has a bad word to say about anything. So, here goes:

1.  Not everyone was invited.  I know some of you are wondering why I was invited and you were not- because well, some of you asked me that. Or, for those of you who are a bit nicer about it: why you weren't invited, too.  But, they couldn't possibly invite every blogger who would like to work with them. Yes, this could cause hurt feelings and they were even aware of this and felt bad about it.

2.  They used the term "mommy bloggers." Now, in case you missed it, I actually have a post about Why I'm Proud to Be a Mommy Blogger, but not everyone embraces this term- a few were not happy to be called this. "Bloggers" is probably the safest term for those who are easily offended.

3.  Breakfast was early on the last day(8am- I know, I'm a big baby).  Maybe have breakfast an hour later on the last day, because we were all tired. At least there was caffeine to perk us up.

The GE Momsperience could be used as a lesson for companies on how to work with bloggers. They truly did an amazing job. And yes, I'd totally go back if they invited me again and would work with them in a heartbeat.

Let's get all legal here: GE did pay all my expenses to attend this event. However, all opinions are my own and I was not required to write a word about them. Really, they did such a fabulous job that it'd be near impossible for me not to blog about them. 

Tell Me Why I Should Use Foursquare

You realize that I'm a seriously paranoid person, right?


I don't like to give out the name of my exact town.  I never mention the names of my boys' schools.  We have a P.O. box in a nearby town for when I need to give my address for something blog-related.  My husband often travels for work, though I usually don't mention when he's out of town until he's about to come back.


So, the idea of turning on my location for my tweets or using Foursquare freaks me out.

Like I said, I'm paranoid.  So, advertising exactly where I am makes me nervous.


I've heard people say that they only "check in" somewhere on Foursquare when they are about to leave.


But, a problem that I see with that is let's say I check in at Target on my way out the door. Okay, no harm done. Except that anyone can now see what town I live in.  And the next time I'm headed to Target, I'll probably tweet something like "Will not get sucked in to Target's Dollar Spot this time. #willpower"


And then some stalker will think Oh, she's going to Target. I know what Target she's going to. I'll hide out in my kidnapper van and grab one of her kids when she comes out.


Stop laughing at me.


I realize I'm paranoid. And a kidnapper would probably give my kids back after 5 minutes anyway.


Still. I can't get over the idea that Foursquare gives out more information than I'm comfortable with.


But, I was also a Facebook holdout for a long time.  And I resisted Twitter.  Even though I'm still not a huge fan of Facebook, I am on there. And I'm addicted to Twitter. @shellthings in case we aren't following each other on there yet.


And I've heard that Foursquare will be like that at some point- something that everyone is on. Are you on Foursquare?  Why or why not?

How to Make the Most of a Blog Linky

Memes, linkies, linkys, Mr.Linky, McLinky, blog hops, blog party, whatever you want to call them: those tools that allow you to link up on others' blogs, with a post that you have written.


Are you guilty of linking and then complaining that it's not worth it because you don't get anything in return?


I'll tell you some hints on how to make the most of them!


First of all, before we even get started, make sure that YOU are following the rules for whatever linky you are joining in with. 

• You should be linking directly to a particular post, not to your home page. That way, if someone follows the linky the next day or days later, they can find what post you meant to link.

• Somewhere in the post, you should mention that you are participating in a link up- most have a button, but if you don't use that, you should at least include a text link back. Otherwise, it might not be obvious that you are joining in and the person managing the links might delete yours. Plus, it's good manners: the linky gives you traffic, you should give your readers a way to find it, too.

• Make sure that you really are participating in what you are linking to: do not link a giveaway or a follow me post to something like MamaKat's Writer's Workshop or my Pour Your Heart Out. I do monitor and will delete those as spam.

Now that you have your post done and are linked up, here are some tips to make the most of a linky:

• Try to link up as early in the day as you can. While I don't think you need to fight to be first, if you link at the end of the day, you aren't going to get as much traffic.

• Do NOT just link and run. If you link and then do not visit anyone else, do not expect a ton of traffic.

• Visit as many of the other linkers as you can. You can do this in any order that you want- you don't have to go in order.  Visit the ones after yours, visit the odd numbers, the evens, the ones that end in 3 or 4 or whatever number you choose.  For a huge linky like the Ultimate Blog Party,  where yes, I was like #574 to link up, I started visiting those directly above me and worked my way up. Then, I started visiting those who linked up after me.

• Leave a thoughtful comment when you do visit. Saying "I'm stopping by from  Pour Your Heart Out, come visit me at ....." really doesn't do anything to encourage someone to visit you. A comment like that means you probably didn't read their post, so why should they go read yours?  We all want our words to be heard- show you've read theirs and they will be more likely to go read yours, too.

• The same goes for if someone comments on your post from the linky- do not go to their blog and just say "Thanks for visiting my blog!" without reading their words.

• You can mention where you are visiting from or thank someone for visiting your blog- but there should be more to your comment.

• An exception might be if you are participating in a Follow Blog Hop. However, if you cannot find anything to say about that blog, then WHY are you following?

• Don't get discouraged- some people do return visits and others don't.  But, the more that you try, the more likely that others will find you, too.

A blog linky is what you make of it!  They can be great places to find new blogs, but YOU have to be an active participant. There isn't a magic linky out there that will draw in tons of new readers without you doing any work.


Do you participate in linkies? Do you have any tips to add or stories to share?

Why I'm Proud To Be a Mommy Blogger

Mommy Blogger.


I used to hate that term.


Wasn't a fan of it when I was asked to join "mommy groups" either. For some reason, it seemed to sound condescending and belittle what we do.


And so, when I started blogging and heard the term "mommy blogger," I cringed. The term conjured up visions of posts that were nothing but a cute pic of my child and bragging about what we had done that day. And hey, there's a place for those types of blogs: I even HAVE one like that for just my family's eyes.


But, here, in this space, I do more.  Sure, I talk about my kids, but I talk about bigger parenting issues than just what we did today. Motherhood, marriage, education, friendship, women's issues...I'm not just a mommy blogger, I scoffed.


I've come to realize, though, that the title of Mommy Blogger is one to be worn with pride.


Because, if I were not a mommy... my blog would be much different.  I might not even have a blog.


But, if I did... I'd still be blogging about marriage, but have no clue about the changes that happen in a marriage after you have children.


I'd still blog about education, but from the perspective of a teacher, not as a parent. Having experience with diverse students in the classroom is completely different from having children with diverse needs.


I'd still blog about friendships, but not anything about how complex they are after you have kids in the mix.


Women's issues: absolutely. But, what is important to you changes after you become a mom.


Even if not every post I write screams I'M A MOMMY BLOGGER, each word I write is still seen through the lens of being a mommy. It changed my world.


And I think the title of Mommy Blogger helps remind me of what should come first. Yes, I'm a blogger. But, I'm MOMMY first.


So, I'll wear the title of Mommy Blogger with pride.

Top Tidbits from Blissdom Short Enough to Tweet

I know that if you didn't go to Blissdom, you might not want to hear all of the stories of what happened at Blissdom. Not unless they are really juicy and can give you some fun gossip....but I'm not posting any of that here. Hey, if I do that, someone could have a story to tell about me in retaliation! Though if you missed my Blissdom pics, you can find them HERE.


There are also fun stories that happened, but telling inside jokes isn't funny unless you were involved, so I'll save those for twitter.


Instead, what I'm going to share are things that I learned from Blissdom that anyone could learn from: most blogging and social media things, some just "life" stuff.  Instead of typing out the pages and pages of notes, I'm going to share a few tidbits.


These are some of my notes from the conference. While most are not credited to their original source, most are just general impressions of what speakers were saying, not direct quotes. But, they are what I learned, not my original thoughts.

Though, I'm actually going to start with some great points from @unmarketing's closing keynote:

*Social media isn't hard, you are just caring about people.


*People don't spread ok stuff, they spread awesome

*Create the awesome and then the SEO

*Don't force your blog audience to read your blog a certain way just because it's what you like: you need to give options(most don't know what RSS is!)

*Only 1-3% of readers comment

*Social media doesn't make you better, it just amplifies whatever product you have- if it sucks, it sucks harder on twitter

*There is a difference between giving constructive criticism and being an ass


Some other great takeaways from other sessions:

*If someone else is doing something that you want to be doing, don't say why not me, ask how you can get there, too.

*Know your story, know your niche: that will tell you whom you should be working with.

*Your blog traffic does matter, but engagement, having something unique, and being respected counts for more.

*Everything you do online, everything you say, do, whom you work with: it all defines your online personality. People see it all.

*I tweeted this during the conference after the VERY audible groan when word verification/captchas were mentioned and it was retweeted and retweeted and retweeted: "The collective groan in the room when captchas were mentioned says a lot. Take them off your blog! #blissdom"


*Social media is about being social. Meet people.

*There are so many fabulous bloggers, so get over any feeling of entitlement.

*Keep doing what you are doing. Brands are watching.

*You have to have boundaries. Say no and have 30 seconds of feeling uncomfortable instead of saying yes and being resentful(from @brenebrown)



Once again, thank you to LeadCheck for sending me to Blissdom and thanks to all whom I met who listened to my story about my son's lead poisoning and about LeadCheck's products.

And thanks to Fresh Produce for giving me a cute outfit to wear, too!

Pour Your Heart Out: When Blogging Changes

If you need more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.

But, really, it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.

Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)

 <a href="http://thingsicantsay-shell.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="" src="http://i904.photobucket.com/albums/ac246/shellthings/pouryourheartout.jpg" /></a>

Do you ever have thoughts floating around in your head about something and then read a blog post that sort of helps you to see things clearly?


I was thinking about how to balance everything:


Being a mom: Really being there for Monkey, who is in kindergarten. Planning to volunteer in his classroom once a week starting next month. Dealing with the problems that Bear has been having. Finding the right situation for him. Enjoying every moment of Cub being a toddler, before he is officially a big kid and I have no more babies in my house.


Being a wife: Really being there to support my husband. Enjoying each other. Putting the effort into our marriage.


The Everyday:  Keeping up with the house! Which can be a challenge with three little boys! Plus, I really hate to clean. This is always a struggle for me.


Taking care of me:  Getting to the gym. Time for friends. Time for me to be me.


And then you add BLOGGING to all that.  Now, I love blogging. It's a hobby, a passion, and sometimes I get some pretty awesome opportunites because of it. I love reading your stories. And I love when you read mine!


But, it takes work. I wrote Tips for Blog Newbies, which is just what you think it is- tips for those of you who are just starting out.


But, does blogging change over time? This was all swimming around in my head. How to balance it all.


Then, I read this fabulous post by Theta Mom- it was in her archives and I actually went looking for it knowing I needed to reread it: Balancing Your Mojo Before You Land in Blog Burnout. I highly recommend that you read it. It really helped me to see that what I was feeling was pretty normal. Even emailed back and forth with Theta Mom a little, talking about it. *Thanks so much!*


It really clarified some things for me.


While blogging is a love for me, I CANNOT let it make me feel guilty. It can't feel like a chore.


Was I offline because I was playing with my kids on the playground? Did I have less time to blog because I was at the gym? Did I make a special dinner for my husband and therefore not reply to every email that I received?


Well, that was putting life ahead of blogging. And if we never do that, we won't have much to blog about.


I love the friendships I've developed in blogland. The community that I feel with those of you who stop by my blog.  I never sit here and wonder why so-and-so didn't visit my blog yesterday. Or why someone might miss some of my posts. Because I know that we are all living lives outside the blogosphere.


And, if I can cut others that slack and never judge them for it, well, I really need to cut myself that same slack.


No guilt over blogging. Because I've realized that even if I never left the house and gave up sleeping, I couldn't read and comment on every blog that I want to. It's just not possible.


Knowing that I can't attain that perfect goal of being "all caught up on blogs" gives me permission not to try. To do the best that I can with it, but never to neglect the other parts of my life for it.


I feel better about it. Less stressed. Like I'm moving towards a happy balance.


Do you ever feel like this? How do you keep the balance?

Now, not to go back on what I just said about just doing what you can- but please do visit some of the Pour Your Heart Out linkers. You'll find some really heartfelt stories out there- it's a great way to really get to know other bloggers.