< Things I Can't Say: April 2010

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Friday, April 30, 2010

Fragmented and Scattered on Moving Day

Did you expect to see me dancing today? We are taking a little break from Just Dance Yer Bloggy Off. And that means that I can participate in Friday Fragments again!
Mommy's Idea


We are moving out of the beach house today. Oh, how I'll miss the view and being right on the water. I'm trading the beach for close Target-proximity and a better library.  Not exactly a fair trade.  But, at least it's something.


I hate packing. Though, unpacking is even worse.


Is it wrong that I'm still going to be checking blogs and emails today when I should be helping to load the truck? But, seriously, it's not like I can actually carry much. Total wimp=get out of packing free card. But, if I'm not around much today, you'll know Hubs found me out.


I can't believe it will be May tomorrow. I love the warm weather. Spring and summer are such happy times.


Though, my boys all like to run around naked or just in underwear/diapers and the warm weather only encourages this. Is this is a boy thing or just a kid thing? I don't remember going through a naked phase.

My boys wanted to go streaking across the beach the other day. Um, it's not that kind of a beach.


When I said yesterday that frump was keeping me from feeling Mom Sexy, I didn't mean that I was going to dress up all the time. I have to be practical. I just meant that I was going to try to keep the clothes that have stains and tears on them as outfits for days when I don't leave the house. Never said anything against jeans. Especially a great-fitting pair- that's practically cussing around here to try to ban jeans.
Could you please go vote for Mason in the Baby Idol contest? Tomorrow is the last day in this round and then we find out if he made it to the finals next week. You can vote once per day, no registration required HERE  They let you vote once per computer every 24 hours,  so if you voted yesterday, you can vote again today after when you voted yesterday. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!

How can you resist that little face?


Thursday, April 29, 2010

Frump Gets in the Way of Mom Sexy

I had the honor of being the Mom Sexy Blogger of the Month in April. And, most of the time, I can totally fake that pull that off.

I can have confidence and not care that my body doesn't look the same as it did back before I had kids or that my idea of a hot night out still gets us home by 10pm...at the latest. 

But, what can really get me down is dressing like a frump.

It's hard to feel Mom Sexy in sweats or a pair of beat up shorts. Top it off with a shirt that has either a hole in it or stains on it or both and any thoughts of sexy are gone.

I make excuses.

It's comfortable.

I'm not going anywhere anyway.

My boys will make a mess of whatever I'm wearing.

Hubs doesn't care what I wear anyway.

I don't have the money for nice clothes.

But, after reading Laura Bennett's book Didn't I Feed You Yesterday?: A Mother's Guide to Sanity in Stilettos, I decided I needed to rethink my excuses. Especially after reading this quote:

"Style is not about money. Does my style say my kids have taken over my life and I haven't had sex in decades? Or does it say I'm fabulous, and these boys are going to have a hell of a time finding a girl like dear old Mom?"

Btw, you can win an autographed copy of the book here.

I have to admit that there are a lot of days when my style(can it even be called that?) probably says that my kids have completely destroyed taken over my life. I look like I've had no sleep, like I need a shower and some caffeine.

When really, it isn't that much more effort to dress better.

And that I need to stop using money as an excuse for why I don't dress better.

Today, I'm putting on a sundress that I got at Walmart.

Yes, Walmart. I know, not exactly the fashion capital of the world.

But, I guarantee you that I look more put together and feel better about myself in my Walmart dress than I do in a pair of beat up Abercrombie shorts and a stained Bebe t-shirt.

And feeling better about myself is a way to feel Mom Sexy.


Please don't forget to vote for Mason Samuel HERE. Please help him get to the final round! The timing on it is kind of weird, so if you voted yesterday and it doesn't let you vote this morning, it should let you by the afternoon. You all are seriously fabulous for helping with this!


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out: Glass Seven

Before we get started, please remember to cast your daily vote for Mason Samuel. He's in the fourth row from the bottom. If you voted yesterday, you'll have to wait until after 10:30am EST to vote again today because that is when the radio station resets.  Thanks so much! Vote HERE.

If you need more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.

But, really, it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.

Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)


Are you tired of hearing me say that I'm moving this week? Because I'm tired of it.

This isn't a big move. Just about 30-45 minutes away. Not life-altering like some of the other moves I've made in my life.  This one is only a pain in that we have to get everything packed up and leave the beach. But, there isn't any other drama associated with it. I'll tell you about a few of the moves I've made where it wasn't an easy move like this one.

There's a difference between moving with lots of boxes and moving with lots of baggage.

The day after my 22nd birthday, I moved 600+ miles away from home to accept a teaching job in a place where I had only spent one day. I wanted to be sure that I had a job and I'd always wanted to live on the beach. But, then, once I got to my new place(yes, I even managed to find an apartment in that one day that I'd spent there, just 3 miles away from my school), I started to panic, thinking, what the heck did I do? I don't know anyone here. I don't even know where anything is here! And that was in 1999, when you couldn't just ask your smart phone for directions. I didn't even have a cell phone in those days.

I panicked because I doubted myself. Could I really teach? Could I, the complete introvert, meet new people? Or was I just going to spend all my time when I wasn't at work correcting papers, watching tv, and reading? Not that that is a bad thing at all, but the thought of not having anyone to talk to ever was scary.

That turned out to be a great move. I found friends who were like family. And found out that I could be an amazing teacher. And I developed a lot of confidence because of it. It didn't hurt that I moved into a huge military town where all I had to do to get asked out was to leave the house.

The next big move I made is what I refer to as the "lost year" or "the year I pretend didn't happen" because it is the year that I moved with my then-fiance to upstate NY, where I again didn't know anyone, except for him, of course.  I was worried because it was a lot of change all at once. Moving somewhere I'd never been. Moving in with someone. That someone having just gotten out of the military and trying to figure out what he was doing with his life. Starting a new teaching job, this one in the inner city.

That move was a disaster. And so, the next big move I made was actually less than a year later, back to NC.  That was a hard move because, at the time, I thought myself to still be in love and I didn't really want to leave; I just made myself because I knew it was the best thing for me. But, leaving and then returning to the same place, especially to people who knew why I'd left in the first place, was really difficult.

Looking back, I realize that it was the right thing to do and I was being strong in making that move, at the time: I felt like a failure.

Though, it was soon after that when I met Hubs. So, all of my dramatic, life-altering, cross-country moves happened to lead me to him. 

But, hopefully, we're done with the dramatic moves.


Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

Will the real Princess please stand up? Please stand up?

Wishing one of my favorite bloggyfriends in the blogosphere a very happy birthday!

Happy Birthday, Princess!



Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Teacher Appreciation Gift Idea

Oh, and um, milk duds. That I kept eating and then replacing, eating and replacing....


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Monday, April 26, 2010

Project Runway's Laura Bennett Shares Her Secrets of Survival

Thanks to all of you- Mason Samuel made the top 50in the Baby Idol Contest! To vote, go HERE . His picture is in the fourth row from the bottom, on the right-hand side. Click the circle beneath his pic to vote. Thank you all so much!


I've never had a guest poster before. I think I like to talk too much to give my blog over to someone for the day.

So, who could make me make an exception?

The fabulous Laura Bennett, from Season  3 of Project Runway. I'm such a Project Runway fan and was constantly amazed by Laura when she was on the show, since she was pregnant with baby #6 while competing on the show. And she just kept right on competing, looking glamorous and producing one fabulous design after another.

I sat at home, enormously pregnant, in my sweats, and envied her.

I had the opportunity to review her book, Didn't I Feed You Yesterday? and to email with her. Yes, I squealed like an excited little girl.

The link for the giveaway is at the top of my blog, giving you a chance to win an autographed copy. Trust me, you want to read this book!

But, for now, I leave you a guest post by Laura Bennett.



Secrets of Survival

Motherhood is the hardest job in the world. Period. There is no CEO in this world required to handle the kind of multitasking it takes to change a diaper, build a sugar cube pyramid, and assist with algebra, all while trying to make a dinner magically appear out of a brick of frozen hamburger meat. When things get overwhelming, some moms turn to the bottle, not the one with the teddy bears on it. They swear by the three-martini playdate, or the sippy cup of Chardonnay, but as a mother of six I would never be sober, so I have my own little tricks to get me through.

After thirty years of smoking three packs a day, my husband wisely decided to quit smoking. He endured two weeks of cold turkey, but I sensed he was faltering and bought him some nicotine gum. Having never been a smoker myself, I didn’t understand the draw or fascination of cigarettes, until I tried a piece of his Cinnamon Surge 2mg coated Nicotine gum. It was like ambrosia from the gods. I suddenly realized that nicotine is the most amazing legal substance of the twentieth century. I pop a piece and I can feel a soothing calm cover me like a cashmere coat. Just one chew and suddenly that new Twombly-like scribble of crayon on my freshly painted dining room wall looks like art.

I live in an open plan loft, as you can imagine, finding space to get away around here can prove challenging. When I need a moment to recoup, I hide in that fallback safe haven, the bathroom. What’s not to love about a room designed for one that has a locking door? And who can possibly argue with the reply, “Not now, I’m on the toilet?” The time I spend hiding will have to be paid back two-fold when I see the mess made by my treacherous tribe during my time out. But sometimes you just have to live in the moment.

Rotten teeth may seem like a draw back to some, but if things get too overwhelming, my next trick is to schedule myself a dentist appointment. This may seem extreme, but to me there is nothing like a root canal to secure some guilt-free me time. One medicated hour in the chair with no one wearing a leaky diaper in my lap can be pure bliss, and as a special bonus, I get to leave with a Vicodin prescription.

When all these tricks fail, and the domestic chaos gets too great to handle, I have the ultimate weapon. I sit down, close my eyes and remember how fast it all goes by. A screaming toddler demanding Barney can be overwhelming, but before you know it, he will be packing for college. Remembering this usually provides me with all patience and humor I need to make it thorough. And it has a lot less calories than a double Tangueray Martini up with olives.

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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Dancing Queen and a Little Break

I still hear the Chipettes singing, accompanied by my boys whenever I think of this week's song: Hot n Cold.

Hmmm, ONE guess who won this week.

Though Kmama was really close, Messy Mommy once again takes the crown!


We are going to take this Friday off, as we wait for the Just Dance t-shirts to come in.

Plus, I am moving out of this house on Friday, so things will be a little hectic for me. And Supah will be off gallivanting across the country.

We'll let you know soon when the next dance-off is and what the song will be!



A New Adventure!

I'm in the middle of moving right now. We have to be out of our beach house on Friday. It's a little crazy around here.

But, just to add to the craziness, my friend Lisa and I have started a new blog together. The Blonde Moms: Giveaways and Reviews. We both love doing giveaways and reviews, but want the focus of our main blogs to be the content!

We will still have links at the tops of our blogs whenever we have a new giveaway. The only difference for you is that the link will take you to the other blog instead of just another post on this same blog.

I posted my first giveaway over there today.  I was actually soooooo excited for this one. I am a Project Runway fanatic and I had the chance to talk to Season Three's Laura Bennett and review her book.  I did my little jump up and cheer thing OMG, I'm emailing with Laura!

Her book is FABULOUS. Oh, and perfect for me to read, since she totally knows what a motherbitch is and calls them out.

You can read more about it The Blonde Moms and enter to win an autographed copy. Tomorrow, Laura Bennett has a guest post here on my blog!


P.S. PLEASE don't forget to cast your daily vote for Mason HERE.

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Saturday, April 24, 2010

My Neighorhood

Welcome to my neighborhood!

Well, my blog neighborhood, anyway.

Wait, wait, wait. Could you please do me a favor and cast your daily vote for Mason? HERE it goes right to his page, click on 5 stars, and you're done! Thanks. :)

So....welcome, welcome.

You know, I really do feel like my blog friends are my real friends. It doesn't make much of a difference that I haven't met most of you in real life. I mean, you know things about me that my irl friends don't. I feel like I can tell you everything and you are so incredibly supportive. And, in return, you let me into your lives as well.

I have to tell you that I have SUCKED ROYALLY at keeping up with blog awards lately. I really do love that some of you have given me awards lately, I'm just sucking at keeping up and passing them on.

But, what I want to do is to be sure to introduce you to some of my neigbors. My blog neighbors. People that I pretend live right down the street from me and we talk all the time. I wish we were real neighbors.

If you aren't following these blogs, you're missing out. And they are friendly neighbors, who follow back. ;)

First is my big sis, who I hope doesn't mind that I'm calling her that, since of course she's not really my big sis, but it just feels that way. I go to her to cry on her shoulder and there's such amazing loyalty there. Tammy is one of the sweetest bloggers I know: Tammy's Two Cents

Next is Steph, at Got One Past the Goalie. It's quite possible that we are soul sisters. Together, we would jump up and cheer like the cheerleaders we never were, drink some sweet tea vodka with lemonade, ignore the clutter all around us, and listen to some country music. Of course, she has to wait for her baby to be born before she could have that drink. I'm vey excited that we might actually get to meet this summer, since she lives in my hometown.

Then, there's Kim at Mom Tried It who would be the neighbor I would go to when I needed advice. She had a fabulous post this week about how every woman is beautiful. She even posed in her bikini to prove it. How can you not admire her for that? Though, she is adorable, so maybe that didn't count.

Then there's my little sis- again, I just make these relationships up and hope that these girls won't mind, she's not my only little sis, but we'll get to those another time- Michelle over at Mommy Loves Stilettos. She's gorgeous and sassy and will fight for the best for her kids- in some battles that are tougher than what some of the rest of us face.

Do you know what you need in your neighborhood? A babysitter who would drop anything to watch your kids and you know that they are in great hands: the auntie, no, not mine, but for my kids. For me, that's Oka at The One and Only Oka. Unfotunately, she's not really close enough to be able to help me with my boys, but I wish! This is my pretend neighborhood, you know.

I think that's a good enough tour of my neighborhood for now. But, I have a big neighborhood and lots more amazing neighbors/bloggers to introduce you to another time.

Comments are off- I'm working like a wild woman trying to get us al packed for our move next week. Go visit some of these girls....oh yeah, and don't forget to vote for Mason!


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Friday, April 23, 2010

Just Dance Yer Bloggy Off: Hot n Cold

It's time to dance, dance, dance!


Do you have Just Dance for Wii?

Then you can join in with Supahmommy and me!

Today, I really do feel like dancing! Or maybe jumping up and cheering like a cheerleader, even though I never was one. I won a mother's ring from Vicki at Frugal Mom Knows Best!

She has a fun meme on Mondays: Mommy Moments. You should check it out!


Anyway, back to the dancing!

This week, we picked Hot n Cold.

Do your kids watch The Squealkel? Nothing like hearing my boys trying to sing along with the Chipettes to this song, though they think it says, "You change your mind like a GIRL!" and they leave off the rest of that line.

I'm thinking that my husband is teaching them early on to believe that.


Anyway, here's my dance with my awful score. I would have kept dancing, but Survivor was coming on- how CRAZY was that tribal council last night????

In case you wondered why I'm a little totally scattered- I'm in packing HELL, since we move next Friday.

So, my video:
Refresh if it doesn't show for you right now.
One True Media hates me sometimes.

Now that you've had your laugh at my expense, could you please go give Mason your daily vote for Baby Idol? Link goes right to his page, click 5 stars, and you're done. Thanks for voting HERE.



Friday Follow!

Friday Follow

Click the button above to join in!

Hello, come on in!

I can tell we're going to be friends....

So, yeah, I'm going to ask you a favor, as my new friend. Could you please go vote for my littlest peanut Mason aka Cub to win a cute baby contest? Click HERE, click on 5 stars, and you're done!

Yeah, I know, that's kind of rude.

Seeing as how we just met and all.

But, you'll soon find out that I will help you out with things like that, too!

I'm a little scattered today, trying to get our things all packed up for our move next week.

With three boys 5 and under running around.

So, yeah, it's a little chaotic around here.

Let's see, around here, we DANCE on Fridays:

and I tend to use this word as I go out into the world of Mommy Groups:

And I spill my guts to you every Wednesday.

You can join in, too.

If that sounds like a blog you'd like to read, then welcome, welcome, welcome!

Please make sure that I can find your blog if you are a new follower!

This goes for those of you who have followed in the past week or so, too: if I haven't been over yet, PLEASE leave me your blog url!



Thursday, April 22, 2010

Three Winners Tonight!

Wait, you're not here to find out if you won, are you? I mean you just want to go get five stars to my cutie right HERE, right? I thought so. Thanks. I think I'm in love with all of you.

The first giveaway winner won an Eric Carle Growth Chart from Stonyfield Farms:

Congrats to:

Lisa (Kssnnikkel)

The winner of the eShakti $15 gift certificate went to:

Jenn at South of Sheridan

And, finally the Perricone Cold Plasma winner is:


Thanks to everyone who entered!

And thanks to everyone who is hanging in there with me as I get ready to move. Packing like a wild woman since we move next Friday. I'm trying to keep up with blogs as best  I can, but hope you understand if I miss some of your posts this week. You know I'll be back around as soon as I can!



What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

Before we get started, please remember to cast your daily vote for Mason! He's doing great, thanks to my wonderful bloggy friends! Link goes directly to his page, click on 5 stars, and you're done! Vote HERE

I was reading the blog Pink Moss and came across a very worthwhile project. It's no secret that I have three little boys and no girls. Well, Janae has six girls. Not that I won't have my own set of problems to deal with when my boys are teens, but teenage girls? Yikes. How do you teach your girls to see how fabulous they are?  This phrase of hers caught my attention: It is always easier to visualize the beauty and greatness held in others, than to capture it within onself.

And so, she is starting a project, where women can give their advice on how to see the beauty in themselves. This advice should come in the form of a letter to your 12 year-old self. What you wish you'd known. You can see all the details if you go to the Pink Moss link above. She is looking for more people to participate in her project- it doesn't have to be posted on any certain day. Think about it! What do you wish that someone had told you back when you were 12?

I chose not to get caught up in trying to prevent the mistakes that I made, but to focus on the outlook I wish I'd had. Attitude makes so much difference.

Dear Shell,

Did you know that you are beautiful? Don't roll your eyes at me. I know what a sarcastic 12 year-old you are. Listen to me: You. Are. Beautiful.

You are entering into a time in your life where you are going to compare yourself to others and find yourself coming up short. But, let me tell you a secret: you are every bit as good as everyone else.

The only difference is confidence. They have it and you don't. Learn to love yourself, accept who you are, and be yourself LOUDLY.

Those hips you complain about? Darling, you are an absolute stick. Yes, your hips stick out.- but that's just BONE. There isn't any fat on you. Please don't obssess.

When you get to college, please relax a little and have more fun than I did the first time through. Yes, grades are important, but shhhhh: no one cares at this point what our grades were back then. So, allow yourself to get lower than a B every once in a while if it means that you get to go out instead of studying. You learned this a little bit in your science classes. Yes, you, who LOVES science, will get your lowest grades in science, all because of various boys. None of them are worth the tears, btw.

I wish I could spare you the heartache that will come in your early twenties, when you fall madly in love. But, maybe it won't hurt so much, if you listen to me and have more confidence. See, you will be convinced that this man is the most beautiful man on the face of the earth and constantly be asking yourself what he is doing with you. You mistakenly put him up on a pedestal and are completely crushed when he doesn't live up to your expectations. Maybe if you have more confidence this time around, instead of asking how you could be so lucky as to have him in your life, you will ask how he could be so lucky as to have you in his.

You will have a broken heart. It will feel worse than any illness you've ever had. You will sob yourself to sleep for months. You will wonder if it will ever stop hurting. You will wish it all away.

But, you will come out on the other side of that dark time a strong and confident woman. You will decide to try new things and to be yourself. You will become much more discerning as to whom you let into your life. And, my dear, trust me when I say that you will see the life that that man makes for himself and be thankful that you are not a part of it. You will feel lucky.

You will adopt a philosophy of "Don't say no right away" which gives you permission to realize that you don't have to turn down every opportunity that comes your way. That it's okay to say yes and try new things. Just remember that your philosophy is not to say no right away, but that you can say it if you really want to.

Be on the lookout for the guy who sticks with you through all these things. The one who listens to you and whom you tell everything to, the one you aren't trying to impress. You will probably think that "oh, this is him!" a few times, but hang in there, he's coming, and he probably isn't the one you'll think at first.  He will see how special you are and help to make you feel that way, too.

I want you to know now, instead of finding out the hard way, that marriage is work. That you can't put someone else in charge of your happiness and quit when things get hard. Fight for your marriage. Because it's worth it.

So are the three beautiful boys that you will have. Yes, I'm telling you now that girls are not in your future. Maybe if you know this now, you will be adjusted to the idea by the time you have them. They will be the loves of your life.

You'll have ups and downs in your life. Friends whom you thought you could count on will turn their backs on you. Family members will let you down.

Though, you'll also make amazing friends and do things that you never expected to be able to do.

You get through it all, a confident woman. I remember being you and it was the uncertainty of how things were going to work out that caused you to stumble. Maybe, after reading this, and knowing that you do make it through it all, that will be enough to give you the confidence to make your way through our life with your head held high.

Time passes much faster than you think and when you look back, those things that you think are such a big deal at the time, you will hardly even remember. It's the big adventures or the small meaningful moments that will stick out. The rest is a blur. Try not to worry. Try to have fun. That's what I wish: that I'd had more fun. Don't be me. Have that fun.

P.S. Could you please make sure that someone takes plenty of pictures of us when you are 24? Trust me, you'll want them later.


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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out: Sixth Glass

If you need more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.

But, really, it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.

Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.

I totally stole the "#th Glass" thing from my good blog buddy, Chelle from The Winey Mommy. Why didn't I think of that? Love you, Chelle!

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)


Eleven years.

It's an odd number. Not big as far as anniversaries go. One that many people probably ignore.

But, I can't forget.

Yesterday marked the 11 year anniversary of the shootings at Columbine High School.

Did you remember? I saw a lot more mentions of it being 4/20- oooh, smoke it up, than I did of Columbine.  In fact, I didn't see any mention of it on any major homepage. You could do a search and find mention, but other than that, not much. Maybe that's how it should be- that we shouldn't dwell on something so tragic. But, I think what if one of those kids had been mine? What if the teacher who died had been me? I would still want people to think of it, even though it's been 11 years, not a milestone like last year's 10.

I laid in bed Monday night and thought about them. Thought about how eleven years from right then, those students went to sleep: maybe they were worried about a test the next day or maybe who they were going to ask to Prom.

Their parents might have been thinking about how to pay for college next year or about whether or not to ground one of their kids for breaking curfew by ten minutes.

Normal worries. Small worries.

Having no idea what the next day would bring.

What happened that day was a tragedy. The lives lost. Those injured. The feeling of safety gone.

But, mostly, I was thinking about the hope that was lost. The hope for a future for the kids who were murdered that day.

Eleven years...since that day, I graduated from college, got my first teaching job, moved far from home, fell in love, moved again, had my heart broken, moved again and again, fell in love again, worked to make a difference for the students that I taught, got married, and had three babies. The person that I am now doesn't have a whole lot in common with who I was eleven years ago. She's changed and grown up and found her place in the world.

My heart breaks for the kids who didn't have that chance. Who are forever stuck as teenagers in their families' memories.

And so I think back to the night before, to April 19th, 1999, that night when those families all went to bed, with only petty problems weighing on their minds. And I wish I could turn the clock back for them. And stop it.

And it reminds me that none of us ever knows what the next day brings.



Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A Post-it Conversation

Before we get to the post-it story, I just wanted to thank all of you who voted for Mason aka Cub in the baby contest yesterday. You can vote once per day now through Sunday, so I'd love you forever for voting for him again. HERE

Give him FIVE stars, please! No sign in required and it goes right to his page.

Look at that face!

Okay, now for what you're really here for. :)
Um, just noticed that Supah's post-it is in yellow. She's not an idiot pig. But, any post-its in yellow below this point are from an idiot pig.

Please don't forget to vote for Mason!