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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out: When Blogging Changes

If you need more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.

But, really, it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.

Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.
Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)


 

Do you ever have thoughts floating around in your head about something and then read a blog post that sort of helps you to see things clearly?


I was thinking about how to balance everything:


Being a mom: Really being there for Monkey, who is in kindergarten. Planning to volunteer in his classroom once a week starting next month. Dealing with the problems that Bear has been having. Finding the right situation for him. Enjoying every moment of Cub being a toddler, before he is officially a big kid and I have no more babies in my house.


Being a wife: Really being there to support my husband. Enjoying each other. Putting the effort into our marriage.


The Everyday:  Keeping up with the house! Which can be a challenge with three little boys! Plus, I really hate to clean. This is always a struggle for me.


Taking care of me:  Getting to the gym. Time for friends. Time for me to be me.


And then you add BLOGGING to all that.  Now, I love blogging. It's a hobby, a passion, and sometimes I get some pretty awesome opportunites because of it. I love reading your stories. And I love when you read mine!


But, it takes work. I wrote Tips for Blog Newbies, which is just what you think it is- tips for those of you who are just starting out.


But, does blogging change over time? This was all swimming around in my head. How to balance it all.


Then, I read this fabulous post by Theta Mom- it was in her archives and I actually went looking for it knowing I needed to reread it: Balancing Your Mojo Before You Land in Blog Burnout. I highly recommend that you read it. It really helped me to see that what I was feeling was pretty normal. Even emailed back and forth with Theta Mom a little, talking about it. *Thanks so much!*


It really clarified some things for me.


While blogging is a love for me, I CANNOT let it make me feel guilty. It can't feel like a chore.


Was I offline because I was playing with my kids on the playground? Did I have less time to blog because I was at the gym? Did I make a special dinner for my husband and therefore not reply to every email that I received?


Well, that was putting life ahead of blogging. And if we never do that, we won't have much to blog about.


I love the friendships I've developed in blogland. The community that I feel with those of you who stop by my blog.  I never sit here and wonder why so-and-so didn't visit my blog yesterday. Or why someone might miss some of my posts. Because I know that we are all living lives outside the blogosphere.


And, if I can cut others that slack and never judge them for it, well, I really need to cut myself that same slack.


No guilt over blogging. Because I've realized that even if I never left the house and gave up sleeping, I couldn't read and comment on every blog that I want to. It's just not possible.


Knowing that I can't attain that perfect goal of being "all caught up on blogs" gives me permission not to try. To do the best that I can with it, but never to neglect the other parts of my life for it.


I feel better about it. Less stressed. Like I'm moving towards a happy balance.


Do you ever feel like this? How do you keep the balance?

Now, not to go back on what I just said about just doing what you can- but please do visit some of the Pour Your Heart Out linkers. You'll find some really heartfelt stories out there- it's a great way to really get to know other bloggers.

Labels: ,

104 Comments:

Blogger Jennifer Leigh said...

Great post! I feel like this everyday!

October 27, 2010 at 12:09 AM  
Blogger Simoney said...

Shell this is my dliemma exactly!! I am so glad you posted about this and I am going to go over and read theta mom for sure.
I have been cutting back on blog time and commenting less/reading other blogs less lately as things at home, health and energy have dictated. Usually I crave blog time and comments like an addiction, which i seriously have at times thought it might be.
I've noticed that when I comment less, so do others. So to keep getting more comments and grow readership... stress stress, strive strive... does that mean I have to go full tilt and send every spare minute duty-blog-reading & commenting??
Ca't do that.
Can't sustain it.
I know there's blogiquette, but like you said it's just not possible to visit or follow or comment on everyone who does that to you... or AS YOU SO RIGHTLY SAID... we would have no life worth blogging about.
So enough guilt and obligation already... I'm with you here Shell, and hearing you say it is very affirming.

PS, I do sometimes wonder how you american girls end up with all your 1000s of followers!?! Where?? How??? I (and alll the other kiwi girl bloggers) wonder all the time!!)

October 27, 2010 at 12:10 AM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

Awesome post! I do love theta mom.

October 27, 2010 at 12:15 AM  
Blogger Mommy Needs a Vacation said...

You have just perfectly described how I have been feeling lately!!! I can't feel guilty about not getting to every blog I want to. I just can't. If I don't get a post up...I need to let go. I think maybe this is why I bitch and complain and tell the funny stories on my blog- it is a release for me. I love Theta Mom. This was such a perfectly, well written post!

October 27, 2010 at 12:21 AM  
Blogger Flying Giggles and Lollipops said...

Oh yeah, I go through this occasionally. I think the best thing for me is to take a step back. I usually re-evaluate things and turn blogging into fun time again. When it begins to feel like a chore or something I just need to get done, it takes the fun away. And it is suppose to be fun, right?

October 27, 2010 at 12:21 AM  
Blogger Brie said...

"Well, that was putting life ahead of blogging. And if we never do that, we won't have much to blog about." You took the words right out of my mouth girl! A better way of living means better things to blog about, right? :)

October 27, 2010 at 12:52 AM  
Blogger Much More Than Mommy said...

I could've written a lot of this myself!! Even though, really, a lot of my life doesn't give me a lot to blog about (I'm so vanilla), I still wanted to go about living it without the blog in the back of my mind, even if that meant taking a LOT of time off!

October 27, 2010 at 12:54 AM  
Blogger Andrea (ace1028) said...

Agreed. 100%. I do usually feel bad when I end up just ignoring my reader and not catching up w/everyone, but you know how it is, we all have lives and nobody has to feel bad or guilty, we need to just BE. I know you're out there even if you don't post or stop by. And unless you're MIA for weeks on end I promise not to send out a search party for you. :)

October 27, 2010 at 12:54 AM  
Blogger The Blue Zoo said...

I am always behind in my commenting. And I pretty much gave up on returning comments with emails a looong time ago. I figure I'll have lots of time to comment and be caught up when my boys are teens. =)

October 27, 2010 at 12:58 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

What is this balance thing you speak of?

;)

October 27, 2010 at 1:13 AM  
Blogger Frugal Vicki said...

I have been feeling a lot of this lately, and I needed this post. This weekend I just COULDN'T blog. I had no motivation, no desire. For my own reasons, I need to....but I stopped enjoying. It started becoming a job. I am still figuring it out....but this has helped. Thank you.

October 27, 2010 at 1:36 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

I am learning that the kids come first! When I was starting out I was online all day and all night. Now when the kids come home I am off to help them with homework etc. I only blog when they are not around. Hubby and I are going to Spokane for my Grandmas funeral Thursday-Saturday. I am not bringing my computer because I know the temptations will be there to go online. I will have my phone and that will be tempting enough. But I don't feel the need to be attached like I use to!

October 27, 2010 at 1:52 AM  
Blogger amelie522 said...

Oh mama, balance is something I lack. I'm so glad you wrote this post though, because it reminded me not to feel guilty for spending time away from bloggyland; but it also reminded me not to feel guilty when I can't spend time on other things, too. Like if the closets aren't cleaned out when I planned on it? Big deal! I didn't make dinner because we were playing outside? Order some pizza. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed this desperately!

October 27, 2010 at 2:00 AM  
Blogger MsBabyPlan said...

Great, great post...

You are right to write that although we love blogging we shouldn't feel guilty for prioritasing the other important things in our life. Blogging "It can't feel like a chore".

It is important to put "life ahead of blogging. And if we never do that, we won't have much to blog about."

Thanks again for sharing. Have a great day.

October 27, 2010 at 2:16 AM  
Blogger Papi KoRndOg said...

Hey Shell, I decided to link up since I felt I had something to pour my heart out about and it was suggested by Mami to share with you. I loved your post as well. It is something all bloggers should never forget. Remember what makes you blogger, don't forget whay you enjoy it. I took time away from attempting to blog simply because I didn't feel I was able to invest enough of myself into it without neglecting the more important things.
Kudos to you my friend...

October 27, 2010 at 2:56 AM  
Blogger Simoney said...

Righto after my long as rant at the top of your comments, I was inspoired to go and write my own post about this... and I've linked it up. Thanks Shell. You've helped me put into words what I've been feeling x

October 27, 2010 at 3:49 AM  
Blogger Stasha said...

This is a great post!

I am such a non-commital blogger. I barely post and I barely answer comments... Quite frankly, I suck. I have been trying to change all of that. It's hard to find the balance between life and bloggy life...

I am gonna go read Theta Mom's post and your post... God knows I could stand to learn a few things!

October 27, 2010 at 4:23 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Yup, similar dilemma here, especially now that I'm back to work. You are so dedicated and I often wonder who you get it all done, knowing that it can be tough for me with a lot less traffic!

October 27, 2010 at 5:54 AM  
Anonymous Theta Mom said...

I *loved* our convos together and at the end of the day, THAT is what makes thing bloggy trip worth the ride.

I think you've just found your balance - letting go of the pressure and expectations - and just blog.

xo

October 27, 2010 at 6:45 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

I think I started out with many of those concerns. As of lately, I don't worry about it. I blog when I have something to say/share. I find the people I feel close to URL come around and comment, whether it's daily or barely once a week.

I try not to kill myself reading blogs either. I have my favorite blogs/people and usually try to catch theirs. If I have time for extra, then it's a bonus.

Now, I really need to curb my true addiction (and am trying hard to do so), giveaways.

October 27, 2010 at 7:06 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

You summed it up perfectly! Guess I don't need to write that post I was emailing you about anymore...this is what needed to be said!! People really need to stop feeling guilty.

October 27, 2010 at 7:10 AM  
Blogger ~♪~Mumsy~♪~ said...

I feel burn out some times with so many things to do. So I chose to post less, and getting my priorities straight..

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this subject.

October 27, 2010 at 7:22 AM  
Blogger Julia said...

yes, great post! i think we all feel this way but hate to admit it. and what we don't admit is that sometimes, we visit and comment on blogs in order to get return visits... and THAT is what can be exhausting.

for me, my full time job has ramped up and it makes going around to blogland very difficult. so like you, i do what i can. and i sleep at night knowing that I can spend time with my family.

October 27, 2010 at 7:50 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Yesterday, I unplugged for most of the day. I did it because the day before I was stressing about what to write and trying to force something all while I felt bad and my kids cried at me for attention. So I sad, enough.

I have been thinking a lot lately about not posting everyday and only post when I feel inspired but when I say things like that, I feel inspired all the time.

Basically, I think you are right. This is a hobby that we love and we have to do because it makes us happy and not b/c we feel pressure.

Oh and this is my long winded way of saying, I can totally relate.

October 27, 2010 at 7:51 AM  
Blogger Life Without Pink said...

I am with you! My boys are the needy type and it is hard for me to find time to get away and read posts, comment and even blog. I always feel guilty when I can't blog or visit others. Its suppose to be a hobby like you said, so why do we feel guilty? I try to only write a few posts a week (like 3) and anything over that is a plus. I always admired you because you always write thoughtful posts and are very active in the community. With 3 little ones it is a challenge I know.

People follow you now because they love the stories you share and if you didnt blog every day we would still be here waiting for you :)

October 27, 2010 at 7:55 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Very recently I've hit the point where I'm just not feeling as inspired and kind of worn out. I have been emailing with Natalie some about it, and how this is the first time I've really thought about skipping posting here and there.

October 27, 2010 at 8:08 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I love this post. I definitely feel that way about commenting on others blogs ... wish I could get to them all, but life is happening and I just don't always have time.

October 27, 2010 at 8:10 AM  
Blogger Eternal Lizdom said...

I do the best I can. It was a big deal when I let myself skip posting when life got hectic a few weeks ago. I visit and read as much as I can and I comment when it feels right to do so (I don't like to leave a comment if I don't "mean it.").

October 27, 2010 at 8:12 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

That's exactly why I take a break on the weekends. Yes, I put up my Week in Review, but that's more for me to go back to, later in life, to see all that happened. But I don't really visit blogs, nor do I reply to comments, etc. I need that break. I need to be with my family.

October 27, 2010 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger Di said...

You already know that I feel the same way. There is just no way to balance it all and for me many times - blogging comes last. I haven't been commenting much at all either and I stopped feeling guilty. If I get to it - great. If not then so be it. I think you do an amazing job and above all else you are entitled to actually having a life.

October 27, 2010 at 8:31 AM  
Blogger Ian said...

This is why I no longer host the Monday Minute.

This is why most people wonder why I no longer visit on a regular basis.

This is why I no longer cater to anyone but myself.

Family is more important than blogging. And working 40-50 hours a week - mind, you reading, and writing blogs which I have done for the past 3 1/2 years is not the right thing to do both professional and ethically.

October 27, 2010 at 8:41 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

I don't feel like I can put the time into it to get that many comments on my posts. I can't seem to find the time to visit that many blogs a day and keep up with it all.

I feel bad about it sometimes, but I just don't have the time or energy.

A healthy balance is good!

October 27, 2010 at 8:59 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

Standing O!

And if I didn't get this in my e-mail, and read during my morning coffee, I wouldn't have been by for a while.

But you understand that, and for THAT, I love ya long time.

October 27, 2010 at 9:11 AM  
Blogger Truthful Mommy said...

This is awesome. I find myself feeling the same way. Weekends are pretty much reserved for my family exclusively.I always feel bad for all the emails I miss and comments that I don't get to respond to but my family always comes first:)Happy Mothering!

October 27, 2010 at 9:24 AM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

This was so needed. I have felt the same way. I used to feel guilty if I didn't post every day, but then I realized that it doesn't matter. Family and life is what matters. Now don't get me wrong, I love blogging and the friendships that I have made and will continue to do it, but it will never come before my life and family.

October 27, 2010 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

I think everyone hits a blogging burnout...I used to be totally obsessed with visiting blogs and making sure I commented and returning emails. It just took the fun out of it all.
I took a look at why I started blogging and it really was to have a journal for my little man and what he did at each stage of his life. I am trying to get back there now.

October 27, 2010 at 9:37 AM  
Blogger Day 2 Day Living said...

I loved blogging when I first started, then it became a chore and I felt like I had to go to other peoples blogs. Then I stressed over the number of readers I had.
I took a little break earlier this year. I had to...I was really stressed over it. I decided I didn't care how many followers I had, do I love having them yes, but I'm not gonna stress over it. Comments used to bother me also, I went forever where nobody commented, or 1 or 2 did, and that made me feel bad. Was it my content, was it the way I write? Well I decided that I write for me, and what matters to me. I may not be the best at it, but I write what comes to mind.

October 27, 2010 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger Emily said...

Awesome Shell. I think so many of us can relate to this. I often feel bad if life "gets in the way" and I don't find myself blogging for a few days. But, in a way, it's nice. Then you have more to write about later. Keep on enjoying your wonderful boys, husband and life... blogging should be an outlet, not a job. :)

October 27, 2010 at 9:42 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

Like you said it's hard to balance everything. In the beginning I felt I had to blog all the time and visit everyone.

Now I blog when I have something to say instead of posting just to post. When blogging is no longer fun, I think it's time for a break.

October 27, 2010 at 9:43 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

You are so, so right Shell. This is just what I needed to read!

October 27, 2010 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger Just Another Mom of 2 said...

Girl, I completely understand. Heather's post awhile back actually inspired me to blog less- and you know what I have found? I tend to have better-written posts and sometimes am able to blog even more regularly than when I was forcing it. I only have two kids, but they are my world and have to come first- it is so hard not to feel the guilt and pressure.

But hey, all you can do is your best- that does not have to include daily blogging! And your best is nothing short of inspiring.

October 27, 2010 at 10:08 AM  
OpenID amyblam.com said...

Ugh. I have SO been feeling like this. BlogHer actually left me discouraged and burned out on blogging and now I feel guilty if I don't blog, guilty if I don't comment on blogs and bummed because my visits and comments have slacked off-because I have I'm guessing. So needed to read this!

October 27, 2010 at 10:35 AM  
Blogger Ash said...

It's why I moved to only posting on Tuesdays and Fridays. It had to be done, or I was out. My initial reason for starting my blog, so many moons ago, was to build my confidence and create thick skin in preparation of putting myself out there in fiction.

I'm finally to that point. Or as thick as my skin will ever get.

I will never be big in bloggy world, and I'm totally down with that. Totally. But I want to be big in the publishing world, and that will never happen if I keep hiding here. I adore all the friends I have made, for sure, and I will always be around, but everyday blogging can't be my reality any longer.

Love you and your wise words - A

October 27, 2010 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I was hoping to settle into some kind of regular routine but I have the sneaky suspicion that balancing life and blogging will always be a working act.

October 27, 2010 at 10:43 AM  
Blogger DaisyGal said...

you know I have been feeling so much guilt lately, about blogging, about reading blogs, about keeping up with things even while I work full time and raise twin toddlers...this made me feel so much better.

That you know that I may not be here every day, but when I get here, I'll read all of you....catch up, sit and "Chat" ...thanks for knowing that we all have a life, even you,....and visiting one another is a not a chore but a pleasure. :)

HUGS

October 27, 2010 at 10:47 AM  
Blogger purseblogger said...

I think we have all felt this way. I know I have. We really do need to find a balance for everything. I've been better about that lately. When I first started I was online all the time. It's not healthy. Great post!

October 27, 2010 at 10:50 AM  
Blogger blueviolet said...

Blogging can be so all-consuming and we all eventually reach the breaking point where we have to step back and realize living real life is more important than the blog.

I hit my wall about a year and a half ago and hit the delete button. It was the best thing I ever did. When I came back six months later with a new blog and started over, I promised myself life would always come first and I've stayed true to that. My days off of the blog are critical for me.

I'm glad you're finding the balance that's best for you too!

October 27, 2010 at 10:51 AM  
Blogger Sonora said...

Yes! I have felt like this quite often. It is actually a bit of a relief to hear you say it, because you are one of the bigger bloggers in my opinion. I am always wondering how in the world you do it. I just don't have enough time and it is frustrating. It seems to come so easy to some and not so easy to others. In any case, you are doing a great job and I think you are wise to remember family first. Enjoy your day!

October 27, 2010 at 11:25 AM  
Blogger Momma0f3~1662~ said...

Awesome Post! It is always difficult to find balance. I know personally I started my blog because I needed an outlet. I write it for me. I don't mind not having followers or a ton of comments because it is my own little world. Your posts are always amazing and I am sure many people would agree that we read because me like WHAT you have to say...not how often you say it! Keep making time for the everday. You're real and honest in your writing. I know that's what keeps me coming back!

October 27, 2010 at 12:00 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

I know I have a problem when life at my house comes to a complete stops (with five kids running around, dinner burning on the stove, and a child screaming for my help yet again with Algebra homework) just so I can link up my post at a popular weekly meme because Lord knows I want to be at the top of the list because the world may spin into another galaxy if I do not get to share my chocolate covered marshmallow treats.

Yeah, I kinda get what you're sayin' here! Great post!

October 27, 2010 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger Hutch said...

I'm always amazed how you moms are able to keep up with the blogging and reading daily! I barely have time to blog a couple times a week, read the ones I follow, work, work out and get in some TV down time. And I'm single with no kids.

October 27, 2010 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger mintifresh said...

I think about quitting the blog world several times a month. Especially over the summer, it was too hard to keep up. now I'm trying to just write when I have something to say and not force it. If I don't blog for a week or 2, I'm alright with it.

October 27, 2010 at 12:50 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Shell,

I had to step away from my blog for a little while. I know I have comments on my last posts, but I haven't even gone to read them! I felt myself getting to the point of feeling completely burned out with everything going on in my life. So I decided to take a step back until I'm done working. Sometimes I feel this guilt in me as I'm not going and visiting blogs, but I HAD to come and see what your pour your heart out post was today ;)

We can only do what we can do.

October 27, 2010 at 1:13 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

This is so how I'm feeling! I'm really struggling with finding time for it. I am actually feeling bummed out that I haven't had much time to respond and post lately. I have these toughts like, "No one is ever going to read my blog again, b/c I don't post enough". Then I sort of went into this funk of not caring. My blog needs some TLC. i'm just not sure who to give it. LOL I know one thing is for sure. I'm working on simplifying my blog focus and cleaning things up a bit. Great post! I can so relate!

October 27, 2010 at 2:01 PM  
Blogger From Tracie said...

The pressure that we put on ourselves as bloggers is insane. We think that we have to post every day...then visit 100 people...then visit everyone who visited us....then reply to all our emails.....then make sure to tweet and facebook....then reply to the 12 new emails.

No professional writer would be required to do all of this, and they would be getting paid!

We need to allow ourselves to back away. Take a break. NOT post unless we really want to!

When I took the posting pressure off of myself it changed my blogging life. I found that I wrote from my heart again on the days I did post and on the other days I was fine. (also, those other days are great for actually reading blogs which I also enjoy)

The balance-it is difficult at first, but once you find it, it is beautiful!!

October 27, 2010 at 2:07 PM  
Blogger Aging Mommy said...

I've not read that post of Theta Mom's so I will do that as I have definitely hit the blogging wall lately, feeling that no matter how much time I put in it is not enough but at the same time feeling as if I am not putting enough time into real life. I have been cutting back on blogging but I still need to cut back some more to get some balance.

October 27, 2010 at 2:21 PM  
Blogger The Paper Princess said...

Dear Shell

This was a GREAT post - right on the money for where I am now!

I also appreciated the link to THeta Mom's blog - her article was awesome and I am following her as a result!

Have a fabulous week!

Ramona
http://create-with-joy.blogspot.com

October 27, 2010 at 2:26 PM  
Blogger Tonya said...

Balance... um, what's that?

You hit the nail on the head with this one. Thanks for posting. I needed this today.

October 27, 2010 at 2:39 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

Shell, excellent, excellent post.

I;ll bet you'll get over 100 comments today.

I think we're all struggling with this. And the longer you blog, the more time it can take.

If you let it.

I had to cut down. I did. I miss it, yes, but my family...oh, my family.

They won't always be there, wating for me to do puzzles, or read, or just sit with them while they draw.

You hit the nail on the head.

Just.perfect.

October 27, 2010 at 2:49 PM  
Blogger 3LittleMonkeys said...

Great post! I feel the same way a lot of the time. Some days I feel like I've missed spending time with my kids because I'm so busy blogging, responding to emails and checking Facebook. It's all about priorities, and if other's don't like it, then oh well!

October 27, 2010 at 2:56 PM  
Blogger Ms Bibi said...

I've been struggling with keeping balance since I started blogging. Sometimes I get into groove and blogging takes over everything. I need to stop, take a breath and find a balance again and again,lol.It's a battle.

October 27, 2010 at 3:42 PM  
Blogger Helena said...

Oh Shell, you are so right.

October 27, 2010 at 4:24 PM  
Blogger Helena said...

What a fantastic post, shell.

October 27, 2010 at 4:32 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

Great post ...I know what you mean I feel bad I don't read everything every day but really I feel good because I am living in real life =)

October 27, 2010 at 4:36 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Thank you, fairy blogmother, for saying it. I was just talking to a couple of other girls in my tribe about my guilt. I'm done with doing that to myself. I'm going to do what I can, and not feel guilty about what I can't do.

October 27, 2010 at 5:09 PM  
Blogger VKT said...

Dear Sweet Shell!

I have missed reading your blog but like you said, I just haven't had time this school year to spend much time in blogland! Is there anything I can help with Bear? Don't hesitate to email me if there is. I would be happy to do anything for you and your sweet family!

Blessings

Your "old" kindergarten buddy

October 27, 2010 at 5:20 PM  
Blogger Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud said...

You said it so well. Blogging shouldn't be a source of guilt. Life prevails over blogging. Hands down. I refuse to feel guilty because I can't make it to all 80 something Wordless Wednesday link ups. And I refuse to feel guilty that I didn't get to comment on every blog I love. I've got real life stuff happening every second of every day and I'm not willing to put blogging before any of it. :)
Well done. Be sure to thank Natalie from Mommy of a Monster for sharing your post on Twitter. That's how I found it. :)

Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
@TweetingMama

October 27, 2010 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger Ginny Marie said...

Sounds like a wonderful resource! I've been blogging for 2 1/2 years, and I love it...but I can see burning out easily. Sometimes I have taken a few days off...and it really helps!

October 27, 2010 at 5:49 PM  
Blogger An Imperfect Momma said...

Oh my goodness! I cant believe you wrote about this - cause I am going through this right now. I've decided to cut down to once a week blogging (if that) and be okay with it. I love the people that I met through blogging but I need to take care of the people in my immediate life first and not feel guilty about it. Thanks for sharing. I linked up in my first PYHO...feel like such a newbie :o)

October 27, 2010 at 6:47 PM  
Blogger natalee said...

I needed this my friend!!!

October 27, 2010 at 7:45 PM  
Blogger Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

The blog only gets my extra time. I'm blessed with a lot of extra time right now, but it won't always be that way. I'll have a tougher time of it I'm sure when I'm not quite as able to keep up.

Plus I'm at a lower volume. During my BFF day I realized that it would be tough to roll with you bigger bloggers!

October 27, 2010 at 8:07 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Amazingly awesome post my friend. I wondered sometimes how you did all that you do on your blog, visit others, reply back ( you are an amazing return commenter by the way) and still take care of 3 boys.
I was feeling guilty for not blogging as much and not visiting others as much but is that what is important? We have to remember why we began blogging in the first place- for ourselves. And if the readers are truly faithful they will be there whenever. The readers will crave more if you write less- that is what I think. Especially for a writer as great as your are, how could they not?
Don't feel guilty about it, your family comes first. They are your life, they won't always be little. Blogging will always be here. love ya girl.

October 27, 2010 at 8:15 PM  
Blogger For the Love of Naps - Sarah said...

Great post Shell! It has changed for me. I was so obsessed when I started out and was soooo good at reading and commenting. I know that is how I started to build my connections...but then I realized that I was ignoring my husband at night, up too late, crabby at my boys during the day when I got interrupted, and it wasn't fun anymore. So now I read as many as I can fit in...and sometimes that means I sit down and read a weeks worth of one persons in one night. And like you, I have realized that though I love the comments, I am not wondering when people don't stop by or comment. So I should assume that they aren't wondering about me. Life ebbs and flows and I think so does blogging...sometimes I get more out of posting, sometimes more from commenting, and sometimes more from reading.

YOU ARE A VERY STRONG and SUPPORTIVE Blogger! We are all lucky to have your support and your expertise!

October 27, 2010 at 8:27 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Twitter has kicked me off for a week.... I've missed you guys!

Much love...

October 27, 2010 at 8:32 PM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

This is so well written. I have trouble finding the balance some days too. There always something more that could be done off and online. I am working on remembering it is the offline that I need to focus on more often. I still won't want to do housework.

October 27, 2010 at 9:01 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Blogging is a TREMENDOUS amount of work. As you've mentioned, it's not just about writing, editing, and formatting posts, it's about being active in the community and engaging readers. I don't know how so many people are doing it!

I blog for fun, and at night when my son goes to bed. I am income-producing during the day so when I feel guilty, I have to remind myself that blogging is a HOBBY and until the dough starts rolling in, it will remain that way!

Interesting post, Shell.

October 27, 2010 at 9:15 PM  
Blogger Kelley said...

I really needed to read this post! I mean, you could honestly sit in front of the computer all day and still not get "caught up". I'm feeling a little pang of guilt just realizing how much my little dude has seen the laptop open or me on my iPhone. I don't want him remembering me like that! Thanks for this post...

October 27, 2010 at 10:41 PM  
Blogger Messy Mommy said...

Tell me about it! I've been trying to get back into blogging gear, but I just can't seem to get there. I never really burned out, I just had too much on my plate and blogging was the only option to let go. Things seem to be calming down a little so hopefully I can get back in the groove.

October 27, 2010 at 10:48 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I know since Drex has got here I'm not blogging as much. Hats ok though because I wouldn't miss the moments with him for anything. Love this post!

October 27, 2010 at 11:11 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

This is so true! It's simply impossible to do it all, and there is a certain freedom in it. Know your priorities and cut everyone (including yourself) some slack!

October 28, 2010 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger Katina said...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh! I feel like this alot! Not so much in the beginning because everything was fresh, new and exciting. However, over time life ebbs and flows from committment to challenges to sickness, to homework and it becomes really hard to fit blogging in! I work and do a whole lot of other stuff--sometimes getting that post in requries that I stay up late or get up super early--is that what blogging is supposed to be about? Isn't it funny how things move from being fun to a "have to"? Great post and great food for thought!
I think a great deal is really pressure that I put on myself to have a super successful blog with a ton of followers with lots of comments. Slow and steady is definately better for me! Gotta dethrone that comparison queen and stay in my own lane!

October 28, 2010 at 9:23 AM  
Blogger Joann Mannix said...

Shell,

Blogging is changing for me as we speak. I fell into this world and loved it. But you're right, if you let it, it will consume you and it did for me, for a long time. Even to the point of putting my real writing on the back burner.

My time is now. Revisions are staring me in the face, just waiting. I've already stepped away a bit. And as much as I miss my blog friends on the days I'm not there, it's a freeing feeling.

In fact, I'm not blogging today, but when I read your headline, I had to take a peek. It gives me great comfort to know you struggle with this, too.

October 28, 2010 at 9:34 AM  
Blogger Adoption of Jane said...

I have felt like that a lot lately. And to take it a step further blogging just isn't as fun as it used to be for me. Definitely am having a bit of blog burnout.

October 28, 2010 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I totally agree blogging should not make you feel guilty.

October 28, 2010 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Oh so right there with you. I've cut back to 3 posts a week. I can't keep up. I swear we were separated at birth. Love ya girl!'

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com

October 28, 2010 at 11:39 AM  
Blogger The Drama Mama said...

I've managed to keep the blog going, but I don't get around like I used to, but I try to make it a point to at least respond to everyone that comments on my posts in email, as long as they don't have that dreaded "No reply" status. Then I try to find time to at least stop by their blog and thank them. I really miss a lot of my favorite blogs, but life is good, too, and that's most important.

Thanks for the reminder that it's okay to live and not blog. ;)

October 28, 2010 at 12:50 PM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

So true - sometimes I can feel so overloaded, but I feel like I've finally reached a place of comfort, where I'm satisfied with what I'm giving the Internet and what I'm keeping to myself.

(And yes, that's obviously me taunting fate. This can only end poorly.)

October 28, 2010 at 12:57 PM  
Blogger Erinsgobragh said...

Great post. I started to feel this way a bit since I started doing blog design. I'll be wrapped in designing someones blog for the day and taking care of Sam at the same time (a real chore lol) that when I do have some free time (normally when hubby gets home) I don't have the energy to go to all my fave blogs and read them I just want to sit there in front of the TV link a brainless bunch of mush lol.
So today is my make up blog reading day! :D

October 28, 2010 at 2:52 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Great perfect post! Ever since going to Chicago for my sisters wedding I have had a hard time getting back into blogging and have been feeling guilty about it.. It isn't worth it.

October 28, 2010 at 5:05 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Oh AMEN honey!

October 28, 2010 at 5:34 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

I feel like this everyday. Every. Day. How I wish I could just have hours and hours a day to sit at my computer and write blog posts, read and comment, tweet, etc. If I didn't go to bed at 9:00 every night, I probably could do more, but sleep is important to me. If I didn't watch tv, I could probably do more too, but Grey's Anatomy is important to me too.

Life is about enjoying all the things you love. Blogging is a hobby for me, but it is not my ONLY hobby. That would make me one dimensional and then I probably would have nothing to blog about besides blogging. And THAT would be boring.

October 28, 2010 at 8:09 PM  
Blogger Mass Hole Mommy said...

Wow, that actually makes so much sense. Sometimes I feel totally overwhelmed, but IDK if I would say I feel guilty....it's kinda like it gets done when it gets done.

October 28, 2010 at 9:00 PM  
Blogger Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Well, personally? I think the only balanced ones are buddahs, Jesus and...maybe one other person. The rest of us? Keep working and working and working at it, don't we!?

October 28, 2010 at 9:31 PM  
Blogger WhisperingWriter said...

I just try not to stress as much and realize that the house might not always be clean, that sometimes the kids will have popcorn for dinner, etc...

But sometimes I still get stressed, especially with Tom gone.

October 29, 2010 at 1:04 AM  
Blogger Goodnight moon said...

Ugh...I think we ALL go through this! Blogging is an outlet for me since I'm a SAHM of 4. But being able to juggle blogging and living life...oh and keeing a house, the kids, a husband....etc... it is a hard job! Where is the balance? I know it is different for me everyday. I do try and blog ahead when I can. I do it when the kids are napping...and that free's up SOOO much time.

I use to feel soooo guilty about not being able to visit everyone's blog that I want to...but I had to let that go. I get around to my favorites during the week...and visit some others sprinkled in there. We can't do it all.

Great post!!!!

October 29, 2010 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger Goodnight moon said...

Ugh...I think we ALL go through this! Blogging is an outlet for me since I'm a SAHM of 4. But being able to juggle blogging and living life...oh and keeing a house, the kids, a husband....etc... it is a hard job! Where is the balance? I know it is different for me everyday. I do try and blog ahead when I can. I do it when the kids are napping...and that free's up SOOO much time.

I use to feel soooo guilty about not being able to visit everyone's blog that I want to...but I had to let that go. I get around to my favorites during the week...and visit some others sprinkled in there. We can't do it all.

Great post!!!!

October 29, 2010 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger shortmama said...

You must have read my mind because I am doing a similar post next week!

October 29, 2010 at 2:36 PM  
Blogger L said...

Love what you said about if we dont put life ahead of blogging then we have nothing to blog about. Well put! Whenever I havent posted in a while I always feel like I need to say "sorry I havent posted in a while" but we dont have to be sorry, or feel guilty right? :)

hope you have a good weekend!

October 29, 2010 at 9:34 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Love this!

I have accepted that I will never catch up or be caught up and I move on. In fact I am about to hit Mark All as Read sot he number 1000+ stops stressing me out :-)

Hope you had a great Halloween!

October 31, 2010 at 9:26 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Oh my sweet Jesus! I would think that someone is crazy if they say they can't relate to this post in one way or another.

Lately I have just felt so overwhelming with blogging. I've had to set patterns for myself so that I can deal with it all. I love all of the things that you love about it, but you're right. We can't feel guilty about this. It should be our happy place...not our obligation.

I've had to constantly remind myself that I'm going to see results where I put my effort...and there are so many other results that are more important than blogging. I love it, but if my time must be elsewhere, then so be it!

October 31, 2010 at 11:18 PM  
Blogger Semi-Slacker Mom said...

You just said what I've been thinking about so much lately. I have so much I could blog about, but life keeps getting in the way.

I feel guilty for letting down my readers when I don't post, my friends when I don't read their posts & my commenters for not responding to their emails.

But in the end, I started this blog for me & need to remember that often my family comes first.

I couldn't even get caught up when BG was in the hospital & all I had to do was watch her watch Scooby-Doo.

November 1, 2010 at 12:47 PM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

This post was selected one of my great posts of the week.

http://www.jdaniel4smom.com/2010/11/great-posts-i-came-across-this-week_13.html

November 13, 2010 at 7:51 AM  
Blogger Crystal Escobar said...

This is such a great post Shell! Blogging and being a mom sure does require a major balancing act. I love that you said you don't get upset that someone doesn't read every one of your posts. Everyone needs to be this way. I've had a couple people say things to me about it and it kind of bugs me because, like you said, it's just not possible for us to read all the blogs out there, even if we wanted to. Family is most important and I read other blogs when I can.

January 1, 2011 at 12:40 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

SO glad that this happens to everyone else too! Your post sounds like how I feel! I need to go back and visit the links you have.

It is so hard to balance everything and not feel like you are letting someone down though, whether it be family or 'blogland'.

I have to also remind myself that I started my blogs for ME and for family to see how much my little one was growing. I have to get back to doing it that way and not putting such a guilt trip on myself!

Thanks for pouring your heart out and letting us share!

February 5, 2011 at 9:49 PM  

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