Seriously, I Love Hubs
Thanks to Chief, for making me take a serious moment this Sunday.
Usually, when I mention Hubs, it's to complain about him. How he isn't home. How he has no clue how much work I actually do. How clueless he is when it comes to anything to do with the boys. His golfing, poker-playing, soccer-lovin', laze-on-the-couch self.
But, really, I love him.
He loves me.
We have a strong marriage.
It wasn't always this way.
Shortly after the honeymoon phase wore off, we started thinking like emotional little kids: I don't know if I'm in love any more. You don't make me happy. I want something else.
And, we almost threw our marriage away to try to chase something that made us happier.
Thankfully, we wised up before we did anything drastic.
We realized that love is a decision. It's a choice you have to make over and over again, to continue loving your spouse. To work on your marriage.
That you might not always feel that madly-passionately-in-love feeling all the time.
But, that that's okay.
As long as you continue to make the decision to be there for each other and to work on it.
That feeling can come back.
Love is a decision. It's emotion, yes, but we've come to realize that's not just heart, but head, too.
Usually, when I mention Hubs, it's to complain about him. How he isn't home. How he has no clue how much work I actually do. How clueless he is when it comes to anything to do with the boys. His golfing, poker-playing, soccer-lovin', laze-on-the-couch self.
But, really, I love him.
He loves me.
We have a strong marriage.
It wasn't always this way.
Shortly after the honeymoon phase wore off, we started thinking like emotional little kids: I don't know if I'm in love any more. You don't make me happy. I want something else.
And, we almost threw our marriage away to try to chase something that made us happier.
Thankfully, we wised up before we did anything drastic.
We realized that love is a decision. It's a choice you have to make over and over again, to continue loving your spouse. To work on your marriage.
That you might not always feel that madly-passionately-in-love feeling all the time.
But, that that's okay.
As long as you continue to make the decision to be there for each other and to work on it.
That feeling can come back.
Love is a decision. It's emotion, yes, but we've come to realize that's not just heart, but head, too.
posted by Shell at
11:55 AM
13 Comments:
I added you, thanks for joining. I almost did my Serious post about the Hubs this week too. Maybe next week, if I still love him ~wink~
P.S. I really want to put my buttons in a rolling thingie like you have. What site did you use to do it. I have tried and tried and it never works right!
MommyBrain sent me the code and told me how to do it. I can forward that on to you. Let me go check to see if you have your email addy on your blog. If not, leave it here for me.
It really is hard work and a decision that you have to make and keep. I'm always sad for people when they keep chasing those first fluttery butterflies and never settle into the real work. It's worth it, right?
Oooohh...I love that comment "Love is a decision." After being married to my husband for 13 years and being in a relationship with him for 19 years, the butterflies are loooooong gone. BUT, we have an incredibly awesome relationship. We make a decision everyday to try to serve each other and respect each other. We've only had a couple of bumps in our road and they have both served to make our marriage stronger. My sister in law lived with us for a year. She told me one day, "You guys are going to be together forever. I can really see how much you love each other and how strong your relationship is after living with you." I am so lucky to have a man who respects me and lives to spoil me.
It really is a decision. Once we figured that out, we've had a very strong marriage. What in life doesn't take work? Yet, so many people are willing to throw their marriages away without putting any work into them. It saddens me.
that was good for me to read.
xoxo
supah
This is a great post and so very true. I tell my hubs that I always love him but sometimes I really have to make an effort to like him
what a beautiful post!
Beautiful post, Shell! Wow, sometimes I get nervous if I'm not very attracted to him like I used to be... but I am madly in love with him still. AND SO MUCH of that has to do with HOW MUCH HE LOVES ME, what an incredible man he is, and outstanding husband, and an admirable father. Love your blog, btw! (I feel like I've told you that before!).
Cheers, Kat
Great post. Marriage is about work. Just like any good partnership. I heartily agree!
I know old post but I am a newbie so I haven't read it.
Since hubby and I are HS sweethearts that have been through a shit load in our 15yrs almost 10 of those married. I know how much work it is, I know that it is a constant work in progress. especially after the kids come. we are committed to see it through we are both products of divorce and don't want that for our kids
Awesome POST!
I know this comment is a little late but I've been reading through your blogs trying to catch up and I am loving what I'm reading.
I love this post. My great grandparents were married 69 years before my great grandmother passed away. My great grandfather passed away shortly after she passed which didn't surprise us. Long marriages run deep in my family and every one of them has told me the same thing you posted about; having to work on it.
Congratulations!
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