< Things I Can't Say: January 2010

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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Resolutions, Smezalutions and a Little Bit of Silly

We're at the end of the first month of the new year.

How are your resolutions coming along? Thrown them out the window yet?

You can read mine here.

Okay, okay, I know, you don't want to go back and read an old post and then read this one, too, so I'll briefly sum them up for you before I tell you how much I'm sucking at them how I'm doing.

The Ponytail Paradigm and Sweatpants Sublimation: if I'm not on my way to the gym, then no ponytail or sweatpants outside of the house.

Results so far: Well, my hair is now much shorter and I think that when I put it in a ponytail, it actually doesn't look messy, though I have been styling it more. As for the sweatpants...um, well, I've been doing good with that one, as long as you don't count that I have fallen in love with Old Navy's yoga pants and would live in those if I could. But, again, they somehow seem more put together. I'm probably totally kidding myself here, but I'm going with the thought that I look casual, but NOT like a slob.

Jammies Juxtaposition: all of us out of jammies by 9am.

Results so far: Bwwwaaaahahahahaha! Why not be lazy and stay in our jammies if we aren't going somewhere? Though, I've been changing into my yoga gear pretty early. Because it's a million degrees in my bedroom and I only sleep in a tank and underwear so I have to put something on. Because I want to seem like I'm ready for the day.

Bookworm Effect: To read 52 books this year, 1 per week. Last year, I read 99, but with all the blog reading I do now, I thought I'd cut down on my expectations.

Results so far: I'm currently on book #6 and will probably finish it today. Woohoo! I'm actually doing good with this one. If you are on Goodreads, please click over on my Goodreads widget and add me as a friend! I love seeing what other people are reading.

The Butter Postulate: Despite my love of butter, to use less of it. No recipes with one or two sticks of butter allowed.

Results so far: Well, I haven't made my sweet potato casserole since Christmas, at least. And I have actually been making healthier meals. I miss butter so much.

Ass Conjecture: After gaining 10 pounds in two months, I said I was going to lose that weight by July and then reassess.

Results so far: I haven't stepped on a scale this month. But, I can tell you that an upside of gaining weight is that my boobs are coming back. I actually had cleavage the other day, without the help of a padded push-up bra. But, we're joining a gym in February. It's going to be hard for me to actually work-out, though. You can drop off your kids in their childcare for FOUR HOURS at a time and they do not require you to stay in the gym during this time. It's going to be hard not to drop off my boys and then go home(less than 10 minutes away) and nap shower without interruption blog read clean up the house. But, I figure, I'm making progress even if I just work out for 30 minutes, go home for a little while, and then go pick up my kids. They have a preschool program during that time for the kids, so hey, they're learning.

How are yours going so far? Come on, make me feel better.

Here's my little bit of silly for the week, linking up with Stephanie from The Blue Zoo for Silly Sundays.

This video is Monkey(who dressed himself), Bear(shockingly in just underwear, right?), and Cub. They were running around and around forever(I edited that part out- I figure 1 minute or less is good for a video on here) and then Monkey decided to beat up Bear(this isn't the silly part...)

After watching it, Hubs: Monkey, did you hurt your brother?

Monkey: No.

Hubs: I have it right here on tape.

Monkey: You have the wrong tape.

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Saturday, January 30, 2010

More Fabulousness

I'm trying something a little bit different today. I was given a few awards this week and instead of following any of the rules that come with them, I am going to tell you why I love the ladies who gave them to me and why the ladies that I'm giving the awards to are fabulous, too.

I'm only giving each award to one person, so that there's a greater chance that you will go over and show them some love. I'm trying to spread some of these around: click on the "award" label on the bottom of this post- I've probably given you an award already if you're not on here. ;) Or will soon because I have the most fabulous followers....um, well, as long as I have awards to give out. Shameless request for more awards

Shandal (like "chandelier" and yes, she is trying to brainwash you into thinking of her every time you see a chandelier) over at My Life in 3-D gave me this Gorgeous Ladies of Blogging Award. Sort of. She said that it went to the first 10 to comment and then when I commented she told me I had to take it or she'd beat me up. No, not really, she's a very sweet girl and is probably appalled that I would suggest she would do such a thing. She's that nice...and yet, she likes me anyway.
I'm giving this award to Juliana at A Blonde Walks into a Blog. I found her blog after she visited here first and I'm so glad that she stopped by. She is just the cutest thing, has amazing drool-worthy giveaways, and talks about everything and anything: the serious, the silly, the sweet. It's like talking to one of your best girlfriends. I was totally intimidated by her enormous number of followers at first and thought that she'd never even notice yet another one, but she is a fantastic commenter, too! The post I'm linking at her blog is so very sweet- I got tears.

The Circle of Friends Award came from Arizona Mama at Our Daze in the Desert. The post I'm sending you to is one about all the random things that have happened to her dh and how he handled them. I was totally cracking up. She's another down-to-earth person that I can add to my list of people I wish lived anywhere near me.

The Mommyologist is practically my bloggy sister, so I'm giving her this award even though I am pretty sure I've given her an award before, oh well. We have so much in common that sometimes I think she might be my twin that no one told me about. We were born in the same year in the same city(where neither of us lives now), so who knows. After all, I've yet to figure out how two non-browned-eyed parents can produce a brown-eyed child and my blood-type doesn't match either of my parents either. Hey, wait a sec...Anyway, back to The Mommyologist. Since she's so much like my sis, if you like reading my blog, well, you'd like reading hers, too. I am sending you to a butt post, but it's so hilarious, not really disgusting, I promise. It shouldn't make you gag if you are eating, but it might make you spit out your drink from laughing.

Karin from Mommy Matters gave me this Happy 101 Award. She is one of the most put-together mamas I know. She's doing a series on organization that has me so jealous. She's a Christian, homeschooling, gorgeous blogger. I purposely did not send you to her recent post about her mommy makeover because you might be too jealous of how incredibly freaking gorgeous she is to see that she has the most beautiful heart, too. If I didn't know that, I would probably label her a motherbitch out of pure jealousy think that we have nothing in common, but really I just ♥ her.

I'm giving this award to Helene at I'm Living Proof That God Has a Sense of Humor. She has two sets of twins, close in age. Just add her to my growing list of people I wish lived closer to me. We could put all of our kids together for a playdate and be perfectly okay with the ensuing chaos. I love how her kids will do something crazy and she stops to document it in a picture or a video for her blog. Can't really do anything about it then, anyway, so might as well get a few laughs out of it. The story I'm sending you to- well, let me just tell you that she still hasn't found that lizard.

I'm actually going to turn off comments for this post. I'm struggling with this because I love talking back to you(btw, if you comment on one of my posts and DON'T get an email in return, fix your profile for me, pretty please so that I can email you back!).

But, I really want you to go visit one or more of these ladies and tell them that I sent you.

If you decide to follow one of them, you can come back and tell me on my 500 business cards giveaway post as an extra entry! And, if you haven't entered already, please do!

Enjoy these fabulous blogs!


Friday, January 29, 2010

My First-Ever Giveaway

Are you excited?

I am.

Free stuff is....FABULOUS.

If you are the lucky winner of my first ever giveaway, you will receive 500 Business Cards from Uprinting.com.

Business Cards Online

Print Online

With the variety of sizes offered: 2 x 3.5”, 2 x 3”, 2 x 2” (square card) or 1.5 x 3.5” (skinny card)AND printing on front and back, you can use these for just about anything:

Traditional Business Card

Mommy Card: I try so hard to be put together and look organized when I'm out in public. Even though I'm really a mess who'd rather be in sweats and sporting a ponytail. Having mommy cards would help with the illusion that I'm a lot more put together than I really am. If you had these cards, you could pretend, too. Or maybe you really are that put together. Just don't make me feel bad by telling me about it.

Blogger Card: Are you going to a conference soon? I read all about them and get jealous; you'll need cards for those!

Thank You Cards: even from your kids- think how easy it will be to get them to do thank you cards if all they have to do is put one of these in an envelope and send it off! Or for you: if you get hand cramps writing out thank you cards and tend to give up and shove all the notes in a drawer somewhere to be found almost 7 years later. Like the thank you notes for my wedding gifts that I discovered in a box a few months ago.

Gift Tags: They'll look so cute, unique, AND no hand cramping here, either.

*insert your creative idea here*

One of my readers will win:

  • 500 Business Cards from Uprinting.com
  • Sizes: 2 x 3.5”, 2 x 3”, 2 x 2” (square card) or 1.5 x 3.5” (skinny card)
  • Paper: 14 pt gloss cardstock, 14 pt matte cardstock or 13 pt recycled uncoated cardstock
  • Specifications: Full Color Both Sides; Offset Press; 3 Business Day Printing
  • Shipping: FREE UPS Ground Shipping
  • Eligibility: Limited to US Residents only

Just to reassure you: they offer a free file inspection service, where they will check, fix, and proof your files before printing.

I'm now kicking myself because I did not know about their service when I made my Christmas cards and used someone else instead: one of my boys and half of my message was cut off, so I ended up not sending out cards this year. Uprinting would have informed me of that mistake! How I wish I'd known- but now you know.

Giveaway runs from now until 10pm East Coast time on 2/11/10. Please make sure that your email is in your profile or leave it in one of your comments below so that I have a way to contact you if you win.

First Entry: Tell me what you think you would do with these cards.

Additional entries:

  • Follow my blog or tell me if you already do.
  • Grab my button or tell me if you already have it on your blog. If you have my blog listed in your sidebar, that counts since some of you don't "do" buttons.
  • The just for fun entry: tell me whether or not you would be willing to participate in a video-required bloggy dance-off.

Please leave a separate comment for each entry.

Winner will be selected by random number generator(so, even if you tell me NO, you won't dance with me, I won't hold it against you) and posted on Friday, February 12.

Thank you to Uprinting for providing me with my own set of 250 business cards. I can't wait to get them!

Contest is now over. Winner will be announced soon.


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Thankyouverymuch and Be Prepared for the Dance-off

The Daily Dribbles

It's Free Therapy Day!! That's right, it's Thursday, which means it's Thank You Very Much day. The way it works is that you take out all your frustrations on people/things that peeved you off during the week and thank them in a very sarcastic way, for being who or what they are/doing what they did. I know everyone can use some free therapy, so go ahead and type yours out, grab Kmama's button, and then link up over at The Daily Dribbles so that we can all share in each other's therapy.

To my mommies group, for once again being motherbitches and not being excited about my idea of having a Just Dance party. And here I was, trying to make friends again. Thankyouverymuch.

Btw, in case you missed it, the Just Dance video is in yesterday's post. Buy the game or rent it from redbox: a Just Dance bloggy dance-off contest is coming soon! If I can't have my dance party at my house, we'll have it in bloggyland! Start practicing! ♥ Thank you very much! ♥

To Old Navy, for getting my hopes up about fantastic sales, since all clearance stuff was an additional 50% off and I had a $50 off $100 coupon to spend: thankyouverymuch for having about 5 things on the racks that were for my size. I was stuck buying things from you that weren't on sale.

But, ♥ Thank you very much ♥ to The Mommyologist for the Old Navy coupon. I still got some great things! You could have had one of those fabulous coupons, too: you should really follow me on twitter and then you'd have been in the know.

To my little baby Cub, for refusing to stay in your crib or your pack n play because you can climb like a freaking monkey; for causing those glorious hours of naptime to dwindle and for making that super-easy bedtime become a battle: you are only 20 months old. No more climbing. Thankyouverymuch.

To Bear, for deciding that 5 AM is a perfectly acceptable time for you to start your day now: no matter when I send you to bed. Even though it's still pitch black outside. And for doing things like eating ice cream for breakfast if I don't go upstairs with you right away. Really, kid, I have enough problems on the other side of the night with your brother. Enough already. Thankyouverymuch.

♥ Thank you very much ♥ to Monkey for still going to bed easily and not being a morning person.

To Bear's previous early intervention "specialist": I really wish you could have seen the look on his new specialist down here's face when I told her what your diagnosis was. If I'd had a camera, I would have snapped her pic so that it could go in the dictionary right beside the entry for a "WTF face." For all the needless stress and worry you caused me, thankyouverymuch.

To Hubs, for calling to "ask" me if it was okay for him to go to the Carolina basketball game the other day and then saying,"so, you don't have to make dinner tonight": well, thankyouverymuch since I already had dinner cooking in the crockpot and almost done by that point and thankyouverymuch for thinking that you not being here means that they boys and I don't need to eat. Your kids? Your wife? Have you forgotten how cranky we all get if we don't eat?

I have my very first giveaway, coming tomorrow! Please come back and enter! ♥ Thank you very much!


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Dance Videos from the Man Cave

*If the videos aren't showing, reload the page and they should show up then*

Hubs, BIL, and I are super-competitive. Super.

Okay, maybe it's just Hubs and I.

Neither one of us likes to lose.

If, by chance, someone dares to even come close to beating me in a trivia game: it is not pretty.

So, when we play Just Dance for Wii, we have rules.

We play through all 32 songs and keep a score sheet of our individual scores. Though you can all three dance at the same time, we choose to go one at a time. Random draw the first time, then every time after that, the person with the highest score on the previous song has to go first, while the lowest score gets to go last. We try to make it fair.

You get a point for each song where you had the highest score. We play the short version of each song.

After we cycle through all the songs, we each get to pick whatever song we want and dance to the long version of it. Whoever has the most points on that song, gets three additional points. Gotta keep it exciting.

I totally love that Hubs and BIL are willing to play this game with me.

Though, as my thanks, and because I've had many requests for this, I'm posting a short video of them playing. I'm sure they appreciate it. Good thing they don't read my blog.

This first video is only a minute long. It starts out with Hubs dancing to "Ring My Bell," but you have to listen to BIL's commentary on it, which is hilarious. Right after that is BIL shaking it to "Girls Just Want to Have Fun," followed by Hubs again with "Jin Go La Ba" or something like that. I totally kick ass on that song.

Note: our competition takes place in Hubs' man cave. It is his room to do with what he wants and I am in no way, shape, or form responsible for the condition of that room. We keep it locked so the kids can't go in there and get lost.

For your viewing pleasure:

Daffy promised me that she would laugh herself sick, even if no one else does.

What really would make you laugh yourselves sick is what I wish I could post: Hubs dancing to "I Like to Move It, Move It." He'd had enough rum at that point, he and BIL both think they are pirates, that he hiked his shorts all the way up and then made them into a thong and shook it. BIL and I were dying laughing. But, no one else needs to see my Hubs' ass. Not literally anyway.

He knew I was taping it and said, "Shell, what the hell are you doing?" and I replied, "It's for my own personal entertainment."

What I Meant to Say: I'm keeping this video forever as blackmail and if you ever really screw up, it will be on my blog and facebook, where I'll be sure to tag your ass for all to see.

What else I do have for you, though, are my little guys dancing to "Who Let the Dogs Out." The little guy in the purple singing at first is Bear, followed by Monkey. I don't know what happened to the sound when I moved the video upstairs for Cub and I to dance to "Wannabe." It's less than a minute.

Oh, in case you are wondering: I won the game with Hubs and BIL:
Shell: 12 songs + 3 bonus points
Hubs: 10 songs
BIL: 10 songs

My bonus song of choice was Spice Girls' "Wannabe" with a score of 19,673 and a max combo of 27.

If you've done better, please don't tell me. The competitor in me can't take it.

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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Randomness Through Post-its

Click here to enter the getaway to Great Wolf Lodge. If you win instead of me, I'm totally showing up for your weekend, though. Be prepared for that.

Make your own post-its here.
Then, go link up at Supahmommy's blog.

Do it, because post-its are FABULOUS fun!


Monday, January 25, 2010

Dealbreakers: How to be labeled a "motherbitch"

What are your dealbreakers?

Dealbreakers: how someone goes from a possible friend to being labeled a motherbitch in my book.

In case you missed the definition of my word:

I thought we could be friends, but then you...were not tolerant of any beliefs different than your own. Whether it's religion, breast v. bottle, political party, WHATEVER it is. Even if I happen to agree with you on your issue- I see the other side and have no problem with people who believe differently than I do. If you automatically write someone off for believing differently than you, well, I write you off for your narrowmindedness. Straight to the motherbitch category you go.

I thought we could be friends, but then you...acted like a child expert. It's okay to share what worked or didn't work for your child, but it is NOT okay to tell everyone that your way is the only way and that all children will take to your advice the same way your child did. I have news for you: my OWN three kids are so different that I have to use different strategies with each of them, so do not tell me that your way is the only right way to parent. You've now become another motherbitch post for my readers to laugh at.

I thought we could be friends, but then you...badmouthed someone else's child. Whether it was mine or some other child on the playground: who are you to judge someone's child based on what you happened to see for 30 seconds on the jungle gym? Do you know anything else about that child? Is your own child perfect? Add another 50 motherbitch points if you do actually think your own child is perfect. They are just kids; don't judge. However, we can now all judge you here.

I thought we could be friends, but then you...visibly shuddered when I told you I have 3 boys. Boys can be rowdy and difficult and certainly dirty. And no, I'm never going to get to have all the pink cutesy tutu stuff. But, they're mine and I love them. I'm the one who is taking them home with me, so you can save your shuddering for after I leave, please, motherbitch.

I thought we could be friends, but then you...were back in your size 0 jeans a week after delivering your third baby. Because I hate you for that.

Okay, okay, that last one is a total lie. I won't boot you to the motherbitch category automatically for that. I'm just jealous. But, if you talk incessantly about how easy it was for you to do that, I might just have to shove some cookies down your throat and call you a not-so-nice word.

Disclaimer: I realize I could be labeled a motherbitch for many reasons. People who live in glass houses and all that stuff...but my blog isn't made of glass, so I can have fun throwing stones here.

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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Silly Sundays: Where Are Your Pants?

Lazy Sunday.
I thought I'd take the day off from blogging.
But, then, I saw that Stephanie at The Blue Zoo, was doing Silly Sundays.
So, I thought I'd tell you a quick and silly story about one of my boys.
You know that one of my oft-repeated phrases is "Where are your pants?" because my boys love to run around naked or at least pantsless.
Especially my 3 year-old, Bear.
A few days ago, at dinnertime, he was running around completely naked and I told him he needed to at least put on underpants if he wanted to eat.
My boys are always hungry.
I wasn't going to fight to get him completely dressed since it would be bathtime shortly after dinner anyway, but I thought at least underpants were needed.
We're classy like that.
He said okay and went running off.
He comes back and says, "I have my underpants on!"
Which he did:

On his HEAD.
Guess I better be more specific next time.
Have a silly story to share? Head on over to The Blue Zoo and link up for Silly Sunday.


Saturday, January 23, 2010

Yes, I Did THAT

I know, I know, some of you are so over awards. But, I can't help it, I still like getting them!

But, for your trouble of reading all this, I'll tell you some random stuff about me along the way: the stories that I don't usually tell. You know, the goofy stories that you tell about the stupid things you did back when you were a "kid," most of which you try to pretend didn't happen.

Sara at Sarah Spelled Without an H gave me this Stunning Award.

What can I tell you about a Marilyn moment? Hmm. Back when I was 24, I was dating a LOT. But, usually not seeing the same guy twice- that is what happens when you are a single girl in a town with a gigantic military base. I was at a bar with this guy(no idea what his name was now) and he started talking about not wanting to see anyone else. I was like whoa, slow down, we don't even know each other. It completely freaked me out. So, I excused myself from the table, walked over to a group of guys, threaded my arm through the arm of the best-looking guy and whispered, "You have got to save me," while squeezing his big arm muscle, batting my eyes, and giving him my best flirty look. We ended up leaving and going to a different bar to get away from the other guy, who kept shooting our group pissed off looks. I shot him a smile as we walked out of the bar, though. That's probably as close as I get to Marilyn.

I'm giving this blog award to Alexis at Running Away? I'll Help You Pack. She's one of my newer blog buddies, but I already feel like I've known her forever and we'd totally have each other's backs in the battle against the motherbitches.

I got the Sunshine Award from Ms. Bibi at From Misery to Happiness in 365 Days and from Tammy at Tammy's Two Cents.

Sunshine? There was this guy once, who was always calling me his sunshine. He wrote some cheeseball song about it. When my apartment was flooded from a hurricane, I stayed with him for a few days(in his guest bedroom, people!). But, I went out on a date with another guy and had to stop in at the apartment to get my id. It was late and I didn't wake up the guy who was letting me stay there, just grabbed my id and dashed back out the door. But, he heard me and ended up chasing the car down the street, in nothing but his boxers, yelling at me to come back. I found another place to stay the next day. I did NOT want to be his Sunshine.

I'm passing this Sunshine Award along to Chelle at The Winey Mommy, because she spells her name the way that Hubs spells my name AND because her husband is in the Air Force and is going to Haiti to help(or already left? I'm off on my timing here). But, I think she could use some sunshine.

I ♥ your blog award from Kmama at The Daily Dribbles.
Let's see. Hmm...here's something that I loved to do, that I've only ever done once and probably won't ever do again. On my 28th birthday, I went skinny dipping in the ocean at night. It felt wonderful. It was a little scary since it was a public beach and I kept thinking of getting caught and having it end up in the paper and all my students' parents knowing. Don't know what I thought was going to happen- maybe that they were going to put a pic of it in the paper and then I'd never get my teaching job back due to that fun little morality clause in my teaching contract. Yup, I was paranoid. But, I still loved doing it. Only Hubs was with me, btw.

I'm passing this along to Stephanie at The Blue Zoo. She's another mama in a house full of boys and I can so relate to her.

Finally, I got the loyalty makes for blog royalty award from The Wifey at The Wifey Blogs.

Royalty: I used to put on my tiara when I was teaching middle school and tell my students they must listen to the queen. My assistant principal saw me wearing it, rolled her eyes and said, "Out of all my teachers, if I had to guess which one of you would walk around with a tiara, I would have picked you." I decided to take that one as a compliment.

If I'm ever on a blog and someone gives an award to all their followers, I never take it. I would probably make an exception for one that had the word fabulous in it, though.

But, really, this last one is for all of you. If you feel like you need to have done something for it: if you commented on one or more of my posts this week, this award is my thanks.

Okay, now that I've told you some embarrassing stories about me, I'm signing off.

Be sure to check out some of these fabulous blogs!

Stay tuned for a video of Hubs, Bil, and my Just Dance marathon from last night.


Friday, January 22, 2010

Letters of Intent: They're not going to be quiet

Letters of Intent

Got something you need to get off your chest? Click the button and play along!

Dear Neighbors,

So, this is your second year spending January and February at this beach and in the house that you have rented for 6 weeks.

I understand that you love this beach for how quiet it is.

However, this year, my family is here. And we have 3 young boys. We're not going anywhere any time soon.

It was NOT okay that you yelled over to them "We're trying to relax, you need to be quiet."

They weren't doing anything wrong.

They were playing.

In their own backyard.

Granted, they weren't whispering as they played, but they weren't screaming like banshees, either.

Any day that it is nice enough, my boys will be outside playing. And I'm not going to tell them to "play quietly."

It's the middle of the day, they're outside, and they're kids.

If you don't like it, I'm quite certain that there are other houses on this island that you could rent out for the duration of your stay, before you head back to whatever godforsaken cold place you come from.

-Mom of the boys next door

P.S. Yell at them again and I really will nail this letter to your front door.


Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Old Motherbitch

I want to take a minute to thank all you fabulous comment-ers for your understanding yesterday and honesty in admitting that I'm far from being alone in occasionally experiencing mom-anger. I just ♥ you all! Though, after that, I'm going a little lighter and fluffier today.

Back at "home," I was about average age when compared to the moms of my boys' friends.

And at Monkey's old preschool, I was one of the "young" moms, at 32.

But, it's a different story down here.

I'm the OLD MOM.

Swiped from photobucket: I'm not that old- yet.

I was at a Stroller Strides class last week(exercise with your kids in tow- good in theory, but not with kids older than a baby) and two of the girls had on their "class t-shirts" from high school.

Class of 2007.

And the rest of the girls weren't much older.

I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise to me, since when I was pregnant with Monkey and living down here, I was teaching 5th grade...and a lot of the parents of my students were around my age(27), maybe just a little older.

I do remember that I was considered "old" to be having my first baby.

So, now I'm the old mama in my boys' playgroup.

I don't feel old.

32 isn't old.

But, these girls probably look at me like I'm ancient.

Or maybe they think I'm the old motherbitch.

Wait, they can't think that.

That's MY word.

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Anger: Mama's Going to Explode

It's a dirty little secret that as a mom, you will sometimes get angry with your kids. Angry at what they are doing. You will sometimes feel like you are going to explode.

Just a note before anyone gets too worked up about this topic: I'm talking about normal, able to be controlled anger, not anger that leads to child abuse. So, if you are planning on lecturing me about that, you can give your fingers a rest and skip it.

Who wants to admit to anger? We want to say that we're in control and never lose our cool. That we handle everything with grace and never have any moments when we feel like we're going to lose our minds over the day-to-day goings-ons in our households.

Um, I wish that described how I handled everything.

Another note here: the following scene does describe what happened in my house this weekend. It's not normal behavior for my boys. If it were, I would have run away from home by now.

On Sunday morning, I heard the pitter patter of little feet upstairs in our main living area, which is directly above my bedroom. Looking at my clock and seeing that it was only 6am, I decided not to head right upstairs.

I'd left the tv tuned to the Disney Channel and figured the boys could entertain themselves for a little while. Cub was still sleeping, so I wasn't all that concerned.

About a half hour later, I headed upstairs because I started to hear loud crashes- which turned out to be just my boys running around.

But, oh. The mess.

The horrible, awful mess.

Both boys had their pj shirts off and were COVERED in paint and glitter.

Paint that was on the highest shelf of one of the kitchen cabinets.

That the only way that it could have been reached was by Monkey pushing a chair over to the counter, and climbing up on the counter, standing on his tiptoes, and pulling it down.

They even painted each other's backs.

And then, sat on the couch.

The dining room table was covered, too.

They'd tried to get out juice, too.

Broke the childproof lock on the fridge AGAIN and got out the juice.

Isn't it lucky that the store was having a sale on my favorite blueberry-blackberry juice?(seriously, though buy 2, get 3 free)

The floor was a purple, sticky mess.

They'd also eaten their way through an entire box of cereal bars.

They turned the dishwasher on.

They tried to be helpful and clean themselves up in the bathroom- which resulted in paint on the walls of the bathroom and the throw rugs in there.

Though the paint is washable, the dishwasher wasn't broken, and the floor could be washed, I still lost it.

Yes, they are 5 and 3.5 and probably shouldn't be allowed to be upstairs by themselves for that long- I should have gotten up out of bed- it didn't keep me from turning into flipped-out mommy.

I don't want to be that mom.

The one who SCREAMS at her children and then gives them a sound spanking on their tushes.

For something that was awful and shouldn't have happened, but was still a lot her fault.

After scrubbing the paint off them in the tub, I sent them back to their room while I cleaned up the mess.

And cleaned through teary eyes.

Part of me was crying at the mess. But, it was mostly because I don't want to be a screamer.

It makes me feel like a bad mom all around.

For being a mom whose kids would do something like that in the first place- I must suck as a mom if they'd do that. After all, my friend J's kids would never do something like that.

For screaming at them. I know it scared them. Everyone else handles these situations calmly, don't they?

And yet, when I went down to get them, I found that Monkey had left the room, gone to the laundry room, gotten the detergent, and poured it all over his carpet so that there was a huge blue puddle on the floor.

What did I do? Did I learn my lesson and handle it in any better?

No, not at all.

There's even a book out about this by Julie Ann Barnhill called "She's Going to Blow: Real Help for Moms Dealing With Anger."

The best part about this book was realizing that I'm not the only mom who occasionally feels like there is steam coming out of her ears.

A quick search of Amazon this morning showed me that this is hardly the only book dealing with anger and parenting.

We were discussing this topic in my small group at MOPS a couple years ago and one of the moms in my discussion group(who had FOUR children UNDER 3 at the time) sighed and said, "You know, I get why you hear about shaken baby syndrome. Why a young mom would get that angry and not be able to handle it and just want the baby to shut up for one minute."

There was a stunned silence at our table, as we all processed what she meant.

None of us thought that she was implying that it was okay to shake a baby(or hit a toddler or whatever else you'd do in a moment of anger), but that it's okay to acknowledge that you do occasionally feel that anger and frustration.

It's all about how you choose to deal with that anger.

I'd love to tell you that I've mastered my anger, but from the story about my day, you know I don't have any answers.

I DO love my boys and love being a mom. I think that anger is a normal emotion, though not a pretty one to admit to.

What about you? Do you ever feel like you're going to blow? How do you handle it?

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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Fabulous Stickies

The grammar police in me wants to acknowledge that I know this next post-it should contain the word "repeatedLY" not "repeated," but the lazy part of me isn't going back to fix it.

Make your own post-its here.
Then, go link up at Supahmommy's blog.

Do it, because post-its are FABULOUS fun!

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Sunday, January 17, 2010

For the love of books

Pics of my new hair cut are in the previous post, in case you're interested.

If you've been around here at all, you probably know that I love to read. And if you're new...well, hi, I like to read. I devour books, always have. Big time bookworm for as long as I can remember.

In case you missed it and are interested, here's my list of Keepers and Stinkers from 2009.

I actually had a long rant started in my drafts about my feelings about Dear John and when I saw this meme from Supahmommy and MommyBrain, I figured I could probably shorten my rant a bit you're welcome and play along. I do have a spoiler later in this post, but I clearly marked it, so you can easily skip it.

Btw, I recently joined goodreads so that I could list the books I read this year- widget is over on the sidebar. If you are on goodreads or join, please add me as a friend so that I can see what you are reading, too!

What are you currently reading? I just finished rereading Dear John and am in desperate need of a trip to the library.

When do you find the time to read? I ignore my kids to read or choose to read instead of doing the dishes or putting away laundry.

Where do you do most of your reading? Out on the deck as long as it's not freezing or on the couch.

How do you choose what you read? Suggestions of others, fav authors, judging a book by its cover, or whatever I have time to swipe from a library shelf before one of my boys has a meltdown

From where do you get most of your books? library because I'm cheap (or GREEN!)

What do you do with a book after you've finished reading it? return it to the library, or pass it on to a friend if I actually bought the book; if I LOVED it, I'll keep it

What are your book (reading) quirks? When I say whether or not a book is "good," I'm not talking about its literary value or the quality of writing or any of those things that I used to evaluate when I was a snobby lit minor. I'm talking about whether I, personally, enjoyed the storyline. Did the story fly by? Did it touch me? Could I relate to the story? Did I like the ending? So, it's a personal thing with me.

For example, I usually Nicholas Sparks.

He actually lives not that far from me and always has his first book signing of a new book tour at the rinky dink little mall about an hour away from me. I stood in line for 3 hours to get him to sign my books once- with a two month old in tow.

I know that I'll read a story about an amazing love that will touch me and probably make me cry.

I know to expect the sad endings(most of the time they're sad).

And, I'm okay with this.

However, I am NOT okay with the ending of Dear John. With the movie coming out soon, I decided to reread it and see if maybe my opinion would change, but it didn't.

Spoiler alert: if you don't know and don't want to know about the ending of the book. I can't say anything about the ending of the movie, as it hasn't come out yet and you know what they do with book-to-movie adaptations...

Anyway, if you don't want to know, scroll down quickly and leave me a comment with a book that you love so I can go to the library armed with a list. And go link up with Supahmommy and MommyBrain if you want!


Here's my problem with Dear John: at the end, you are left with a couple who is married. The wife loves her husband, but it's more a marriage that just happened due to circumstance and not because she actually is IN love with him. She's IN love with her ex and still thinks about him, wishing things had happened differently. Her husband, who just went through a bout of cancer from which he almost didn't make it, is well aware that his wife would choose to be with her ex if she wasn't so set on honoring her marriage vows, but her heart is really else where. And then there's the ex, who is still in love with the girl that he can never have.

Blech. Awful. Horrible.

What kind of love story is that?

Tragic, I know, but it just leaves me feeling icky.

I don't want to think about people in a marriage where one would rather be with someone else. And the other even knows it. It's just indescribably sad. It doesn't sit well with me at all. It's probably because of how I view marriage.

Yes, I'm sure I'll still see the movie and I'll probably even like the movie.

But, the book...I just can't recommend it.


Check back next Monday for more fabulous bookworm fun!

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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Seven Random Things

*Updated with hair pics!!!

Being random.

That's pretty much how my brain works anyway, so this should be easy.

The Mommyologist tagged me in My Seven, where you have to list seven random things about yourself. I just adore her- she's like my long-lost sister and we've discovered all kinds of odd things that we have in common, including being from the same hometown, though neither of us lives there now. We'd so be inseparable and combat the motherbitches if we lived anywhere near each other. We're going to meet irl soon, though, and I'm superexcited about it. Jealous? You should be.

Anyway, here's my random seven:

1. I can't whistle. I've never been able to whistle. At the end of the year in kindergarten, our teacher had us all on the carpet for circle time and called us up one by one to do an end of the year evaluation, asking us all sorts of things: letters, numbers, colors, to jump, skip, etc. And one of the things was to whistle. And I couldn't. I remember her laughing at me, trying to show me how to do it and making me try several times, before finally letting me sit down when she saw that it wasn't going to happen. I was in tears, thinking that I would not be allowed to move on to first grade because I couldn't whistle. I still can't whistle, though now I have Hubs laughing at me for this, instead of my kindergarten teacher.

2. Speaking of a teacher, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, back when I was in school, I would have told you, I don't know, but definitely not a teacher. And yet, that is what I ended up going to school for and working as for almost 6 years before my oldest was born. I loved it, but don't know if I'll ever go back. It's way time-sucking and I don't want to take that much time away from my family. Too much to do after school hours with planning, grading, etc.

3. But, back when I was a teacher, I used to drink Mountain Dew like it was water. Several cans a day. It was an addiction. If I didn't have a stash at school with me, and the soda machine was out, I was a grump and my students knew it. When I got pregnant with Monkey, I gave up caffeine. My students noticed that I was drinking Sprite instead and one of them actually came up to me and asked, "Is the machine out of Mountain Dew again? When does the Pepsi guy come? Do you want me to tell the office we need Mountain Dew?" I didn't resume my addiction, ever, and look at it like an alcoholic looks at drinks: one is too many and a thousand never enough. Hubs calls it my liquid crack.

4. Speaking of soda: I said "pop" for the first 21 years of my life, because that was what it was called where I lived. But, when I moved to NC when I was 22, I started calling it "soda," and even when I eventually moved back to PA, I continued to call it "soda" and didn't care that everyone else called it "pop." I'd've just had to change back anyway, since we're back in NC now.

5. Speaking of living in different places, I lived in Rochester, NY for one year of my life. This is like the lost year, since I usually gloss over it. Here's what I usually say: I lived in PA until the day after my 22nd birthday when I moved to NC to teach. Was there for about 7 years, when we moved to PA shortly before the birth of my second child, to be near family. After about 4 years, we recently moved back here to NC and we're hopefully here to stay. What I usually neglect to mention is that after 1 year of teaching in NC, I moved to NY and was there for slightly less than a year. Because all that sounds like tmi and too complicated to explain in passing conversation. But, I moved there with my X, after he got out of the Marine Corps; we were engaged. When things went bad, I went back to NC. I hated NY. That winter I lived there was the snowiest one they'd had in 75 years or something like that. And for that area, that's saying a lot. I try to pretend that that year didn't happen.

6. Right before I left NY, I went from my blah brown to blonde. Brown hair can be gorgeous, but mine was a blah brown, not a fabulous one. When I'm stressed about something and feel like I have no control, I take it out on my hair since that's an easy thing to control. Color, different cut, new style, etc. Btw, I'll post pics of my new hair soon. There was a small animal left on the floor of sil's salon after I had all that hair cut off. I say it was about 8 inches, Hubs thinks more like a foot. It feels fabulously healthy.

Here's the before pic: This was in September, at my brother's wedding(that's him, blurred out). No changes since then, though my hair probably grew about 2 inches.

Here's right after I got home from getting my hair did(from above brother's wife- she's fabulous!)

She straightened it to within an inch of its life.
Day 2: not fighting my hair's natural tendency to go all over the place- this is after an hour or two spent out on the beach. Yes, it's ME!

7. Speaking of making changes to feel like I'm in control, I also got a tattoo right before I left NY. It's not something that I think that I ever would have done at any other point in my life. But, I was in the mood to do things that were not in character for me. And I thought a tattoo proved some sort of point. If I remember correctly, I was in the mindset of I'm in so much pain from a broken heart that even a tattoo won't hurt. Yeah, right, that sucker HURT. And yes, it's a tramp stamp...though that was before they were called that. And NO, they didn't start being called that because I got one, either.

There's my 7, that I managed to loosely connect: that's actually the way that my brain works: taking one little detail about what I was saying or someone else was saying and going off on a tangent. Luckily, on here, I can edit myself and at least try to have a direction to what I was saying. But, it was fun to have an excuse to be random.

Now, if this had been an email, I never would have done this or forwarded it on. Yet, somehow, in bloggyland, I'm perfectly okay with this sorts of things.

I'm now supposed to tag 7 more bloggers that I want to learn more about. And I usually think it's a cop out if someone gives it to all of their readers. If I read that on someone else's blog, especially if it's an award, I won't take the award or do the little game. Because I think that it's not really meant for me.

However, it's Saturday morning and I'm feeling a bit lazy. Plus, I really do love to know more about all of you. Makes me feel more like I'm talking to my friends rather than just to strangers, which is what freaks out Hubs about blogging.

So, YOU, yes, YOU, are tagged!

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Friday, January 15, 2010

Heartbreaking: Kelsey's Story


There was a time in my life as a teenager when I felt like the only thing that I could control was the food that I ate(or didn't eat).

Six months of my life when I barely ate a thing.

Fruit, crackers, diet soda.

I liked feeling in control.

It had nothing to do with weight.

I was tiny to start with.

Luckily, I snapped out of it.

Not everyone is so lucky.

Go read this post: Kelsey's Story

Can you help?


Shovels and Brotherly Love/Violence


You know how last week, I was telling you all the odd things that I was screaming at my boys?

Two of them being:

Don't hit your brother with a shovel!


Stop hitting your brother with a shovel!

And then I reassured you that they were made of plastic.

What I neglected to tell you is just how big those plastic shovels are.

Here's Bear, showing them off on Christmas morning:

What was Santa thinking????

Now, my boys do love each other.

But, they also love to beat up on each other.

They actually are very good at not hurting any other kids, just their brothers.

Well, unless they are just retaliating, but that's another story.

Last summer, we were over at a friend's house for a playdate.

Quite a few families.

But, all of them either had just one child or they had girls.

So, maybe it's a boy thing.

Or maybe it's just my kids- though I doubt it, since I see this with other families that have lots of boys, so I'm going with "it's a boy thing."

I stepped inside for something- probably to change Cub's diaper, since I know I had him with me inside.

When I came back out, Monkey and Bear were fighting.

They were wrestling, rolling around on the ground, and hitting each other.

I'd definitely seen worse.

The other moms were sort of staring at them, mouths hanging open.

"I didn't know what to do."

"They're going to hurt each other!"

But, I just looked at them and said, "Oh, they're fine."

And tried to change the subject.

I got looks of disbelief.
And many comments about how they would break it up if they were their kids, wasn't I worried, they couldn't believe my kids were acting like that, and on and on.

But, I have come to accept that I cannot break up every little fight that my boys have.

If they are doing something where they can really get hurt, I'll step in.
No biting allowed, I'll stop that.

If it's not just them, but other kids, absolutely, I'll step in.
Or even if they are just too close to other kids while they're fighting, I'll stop it.
Or just have them move away from others.

We DO talk about how we shouldn't hurt each other.

How it's mean and hurtful and we don't want to be the type of people who would do things like that.
They know that they want to have friends and they know that they can't do that to other kids if they want to have friends.
And how they love each other and ways that they can show that to each other.

But, I think that brothers are going to fight.

And sometimes, you have to let them fight it out.

You might feel differently and break up every single fight that your kids have. I applaud you for your fabulous dedication and wonder how on earth you manage to be able to do that.

But, as for me, occasionally, I let my boys fight it out.

Just not with these shovels.

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Fabulous Post

Hubs thinks I use the word "fabulous" too often.

Me, I like to think of it as being able to find the fabulous in the every day.

So, here we go...a sample of things I would call fabulous.

My hair used to be fabulous. It's obnoxiously thick and long. Before it got damaged all to hell with color, highlights, and a 400 degree flat iron every day, it was fabulous.

I'm on a mission to have fabulous hair again. It's going to involve scissors and my fabulous sil's fabulous skills.

Pink Truck wine is fabulous. It's cheap and pink and super yummy. I highly recommend it, unless you are a wine connoisseur, because then you might not agree with my assessment.

I make the most fabulous sweet potato casserole ever. But, it's not fabulous for my waistline. It's all the fabulous butter.

An early bedtime for my boys is a fabulous end to my night. If it's 7pm and one of them is still awake, that is NOT fabulous. Go to bed, little fabulous ones, it's past your bedtime.

Just Dance for the Wii is fabulous fun. Especially if you don't take yourself too seriously. If I ever find some friends down here who aren't motherbitches, I'm totally having a fabulous dance party.

Your responses when I write about motherbitches are fabulous. Probaby because you are all fabulous.

Hope in a Jar is the most fabulous moisturizer ever.

Hubs has told Monkey that he is not allowed to say "fabulous" as it is a word "for girls and for boys who want to be girls." I laugh fabulously hard when he says this and especially when Monkey whispers in my ear, "I still like that word, Mommy, it's fabulous!"

Had enough of my random fabulous-ness?

Now that I've pointed out my overuse of "fabulous," no fair pointing it out to me when I overuse it on here or on the comments that I make on your blogs- because you are fabulous!

In fact, feel free to post one of these fabulous sayings on your blog because I say that you are that fabulous.

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