10 Celebrity Don'ts

When I saw one of Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompts for this week was to create a list of 10 celebrity don'ts, I knew I had to join in.  There are days when I sit at my computer, shaking my head at the celebrity nonsense that I see as I'm looking for stories for my job. 


So, here's my list of celebrity stupidity: you can click the links to see the full story on these celebrity don'ts. Yes, I wrote all those posts about celebrity nonsense and yes, some days, I feel like I'm losing brain cells for just knowing some of this stuff. ;)


1. Don't have your kids star in a reality tv show and then complain that the paparazzi won't respect their privacy like Kate Gosselin did. If you missed the fight with the paps the other night, you can watch it here.


2.  Don't wear a baggy outfit or forget to suck in your gut or someone will accuse you of being pregnant.


3.  Don't lie and say you aren't pregnant when you really are.


4.  Don't put Kate Moss's quote of "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" on baby clothing.


5.  Don't have a baby at 95. Just DON'T.


6.  Don't say the terrible twos aren't real.


7.  Don't have another baby just to stay in the reality tv spotlight.


8.  Don't tweet out that breastfeeding in public is disgusting.


9. Don't get a maternity concierge for your pregnancy.


10. Don't spend a million dollars on a baby nursery.

What I Know For Sure

I've been known to argue practically to the death over a point that I think I'm completely right about...only to find that I'm dead wrong about it. Is it because my children have killed off some of my brain cells? Or because I'm a bottle blond? Or just too stubborn?

In any case, these days, there isn't too much that I know for sure.


Other than that I know for sure that I will never be on the People of Walmart the Gym.


Something else that I know for sure is that I can't sing.  At all. Even my two year old covers his ears in pain when I try.  But, while I might not end up as the butt of someone's blog post punchline due to what I wear to the gym, I very well might end up there because I often forget that just because I have my headphones in while I'm listening to music on the elliptical, people can still hear me if I sing outloud.


I can't help it.


Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks: I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to bow down, I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go round and round and round....


All I Wanna Do by the Sugarland: All I want to do wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wooo is love you...


Stand by Rascal Flatts: You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off, then you stand, then you stand....


Back Where I Come From by Kenny Chesney: Back where I come from, it's where I'll be when it's said and done....

What I know for sure is that my singing voice should be outlawed in the gym. But, only after they ban guys wearing bootyshorts.


Linking up with MamaKat's World-Famous Writer's Workshop.


If you did not get a chance to read this week's Pour Your Heart Out about body image or check out any of the linkers, please check them out HERE.

My Boys Take Over My Blog

Hope you are having a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I'm joining in with Mama Kat today for Writer's Workshop. One of the choices was to interview your kids about Thanksgiving so I'm turning my blog over to my boys.

I asked Monkey(5) why we have Thanksgiving.
Because the Pilgrims and Indians ate together. They helped each other.


He then launched into a song:
Pilgrims and Indians ate together on Thanksgiving DAAAAAAAAYYYYY.


And when I laughed, he started dancing around and singing a different song:
Thanksgiving Day is coming so Mr. Turkey said! The pumpkin hears the turkey. I'm eating so much. They'll mix me up with spice and sugar and cut off my head and I'll be a pumpkin pie.


Um, okay, kid. Moving on to Bear(4).

What do we do on Thanksgiving?
We go to (cousin)'s house for a Thanksgiving FEAST! And we wear a hat.


What are you thankful for, Bear?
Cupcakes, Mommy, Daddy, Monkey, Cub, all the people. And cupcakes.  


He's got his priorities straight.


So, back to Monkey, what are you thankful for?
TV.

Anything else?
No.


Hmmm. Santa heard that.

Would You Have Smiled?

Literal are the young.
Expressions they do not get.

Hyperbole, similes, metaphor
Are lost in preschool land.


Misunderstandings do occur
If this should be forgotten.


All this we were reminded
When middle son his pants did drop


After Daddy remarked
to our skinny boy
"You have no butt at all."


Turning around,
His naked tush
Our son did flash.


"See? I do have a butt!"
As Daddy was proven wrong.


Mommy hid her smile
As the thought occurred
A blog post she now has!




Linking up with Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop and the prompt: Write a poem about a time someone made you smile. Okay, so I'm not a poet, but this definitely made me smile! And laugh until I almost cried.


Pssst, did you get a chance to check out any of the Pour Your Heart Out links yesterday? Some great stories there!

Out of My Comfort Zone: A Life-Changing Decision

If you are here looking for all of my Back-to-School Celebration giveaways, check them out in the sidebar!

I couldn't resist one of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompts this week, as I was already thinking about how I got my first teaching job and it went right along with this prompt:

3.) Stepping outside the box (describe a time when you went way out of your comfort zone)

Somehow, even though I'd grown up in Pittsburgh, I was a beach girl. I'd dreamed of living on the beach from the very first time I laid eyes on the ocean. I had wanted to go to college on the beach, but my mother shot those dreams down and had me convinced that it was not something that my family could afford. And so, I went to college 50 miles from home.


I did end up loving my college, but it wasn't much of a stretch for me. For my first semester, I roomed with a girl that I went to high school with. For every year after that, I always knew my roommate, had my friends. I knew everyone on campus- if not exactly by name, at least to recognize when I saw  them. I never really felt alone or felt like I needed to find myself. I always had some sort of support system of friends around- and my family was only about an hour away if I really needed them.


But, then, I graduated from college. And, I was faced with a choice.


I had my teaching degree.  But, it was almost impossible to find a teaching position near my hometown. Teachers tended to get those jobs and then stay there until they died. I was starting to get depressed, thinking that I would be living in my parents' house, subbing and doing something really soul-killing, like working at Walmart...there wasn't even a Target around to make me feel better about my first job post-grad. Red is so much more flattering on me than navy blue. I look really drab in navy blue.


One Thursday in July, my phone rang...with an offer for a teaching position in some tiny little town in North Carolina that I'd never heard of, yet had somehow applied for in my application frenzy. They wanted me to come interview for a position with them. Oh, and start teacher work days in about two weeks if the interview went well.


I went down there to visit the next day. Flew into the tiniest airport I've ever seen- before or since. And it was in the middle of nowhere.  Drove an hour to get to the school where I would be teaching if I accepted this job.  The interview was a joke- the VP asked me one question and then took me on a tour of the school, trying to sell me on it.


After that, I drove around the area. Ten minutes to the beach. Sat in the sand and looked out at the ocean, wondering what I should do.


Being practical, I went to a local realtor and found a place that I could rent that was 3 miles from the school and was fully furnished. 


It was Friday. I had until Monday to call the school and the realtor and tell them my decision. The position and the condo were being held for me until then.


I flew back home that night and tried to figure out what to do.


Could I really move somewhere 600+ miles from home? To a place where I knew absolutely no one? To a place where I had only spent a few hours? This was way out of my comfort zone.


And then I thought, hmmm...to a place where no one knows me. No one has any preconceived ideas of who I am...so I could just be myself. 


And I could actually teach, instead of just subbing.


And no one had to wear pantyhose. Laugh at this if you will, but you couldn't be caught without hose even if you were wearing pants where I did my student teaching. But, the VP who had "interviewed" me had on FLIP FLOPS.


And the ocean was right there.


What an amazing experience it would be.


I did make a last ditch effort to stay in the 'burgh. Bright and early Monday morning, I called the superintendent of a district I had interviewed with there. It was an amazing interview and he had told me to call him before I accepted any other offers. I explained to him what was happening and he informed me that there was ONE position in his district and that it was down to me and one other girl for the job. That he was rooting for me, but the final decision wouldn't be made until the school board meeting in August.


But, school would already be in session in NC when that school board meeting would take place.  And no one had to vote on me there. How differently things were run.


I wished he could have given me an answer right then. My best friend from college got a job right near the school where I would be teaching and we were hoping to be roommates. It all would have fit so nicely.  So easy.  Live about a half hour from my family, with my best friend. Know the area, have my friends, easy transition to "being an adult."


I could probably have predicted accurately the major milestones in my life, had I stayed. I would have followed that predictable of a path.


But, I decided that it was better to take the sure thing rather than wait around for the 50/50 shot. So, I called and accepted the offer for the position in NC and informed the realtor that I did want that condo.


And so, the next week, one day after my 22nd birthday, I packed up my pitiful belongings, followed my highlighted map, and made my way to my new home, new job, new life.


My life definitely didn't follow a predictable path after that. It was the best decision I ever made.

It Happened at Work

Many of you have asked me to tell you the story of how Hubs and I met-----Really, no lie. People asked. You know, like maybe 4 of you anyway.


And the simple answer is actually one of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompts: It happened at work.

I was 24 and had just returned to NC after a year away. My old school had hired me back, though this time teaching 8th grade and since I had a reputation of being a strict teacher, I was given the "problem" block of kids. The vice-principal even flat out told me that I should know idiot-teacher-two-doors-down-from-me-who-shall-remain-nameless-much-like-Voldemort would never be able to handle them. I guess it was supposed to butter me up, though it was also true. Those kids would have eaten her alive. Yes, this is important to my story.


Before you tell me that it's terrible to think that I had the "bad" kids, let me tell you that they were actually good for me, usually- except for the day one came to my class high and then tried to say that he wasn't by taking his shoes off, shaking them upside down, and yelling, "See, I don't have any drugs!"  One had just come back from a 365-day suspension for bringing a gun to school, and three didn't finish the school year because they were in jail. Not even juvenile detention, but tried-as-adults jail. And this was in a very small town. But, after coming off a year of teaching inner-city kids, I would just laugh at them and tell them that I'd taught 2nd graders who were tougher than they were.


We were about two weeks into the school year when one of my girls came running into my classroom, threw her backpack down on my front table and said something to the effect of "Ms. K, I was really bad. I did something horrible. You need to send me to chill-out."


"Chill-out" is basically a time-out room for middle-schoolers and also where the In-School-Suspension(ISS) kids serve their time.


The girl in question- Jessica was her name -OMG my memory isn't gone, just don't ask me her last name- there were 3 Jessicas in my third block, was one of my good kids, so I asked what the heck was going on.


And found out that they'd filled the position of the ISS teacher and he was hot, cute, etc. All my girls echoed this as they filed in to my classroom.


Damnit, I thought. What the hell good is the ISS teacher if my girls want to go to his room?


So, I decided to make an announcement. "Sorry, girls, your punishment will be having to stay here and just have me to look out. If you are good, maybe I'll have you take an assignment down there for me. Boys, I'll still send you, though."


I caught sight of the new teacher that afternoon out by the buses. And meanly whispered to my roommate, "Is that him? He looks like a lost puppy. Like he's going to do any good in chill-out."


But, since his classroom was on my hall and some of my students practically lived in his classroom, we started talking.  Really, my teaching partners who sucked and didn't know how to keep order in their classrooms sent so many kids to his room that if I wanted to see my third block kids, I had to go down to his room.


And so we started talking. And yes, he was adorable and really funny and sweet. Maybe even too sweet- I think the principal told him at one point to go observe me teaching to learn how to be meaner.


But, I was in no way looking for a relationship at that point and I had absolutely no desire to ever date someone that I worked with. In a middle school in a small town? Are you kidding me? All the gossip? No, thanks.


Yet, when he asked me to his birthday party, I still went. Because it was at a restaurant that was five minutes from my house that I liked and I knew I could duck out if I didn't want to be there any more.


I left that party thinking that he was not someone that I would ever date, whether we worked together or not.


Not because there was anything wrong with him- but it was very obvious that we were completely different.  But, I also left thinking that we could be friends.


How we went from that night to being engaged less than a year later and married less than a year after that is a story for another time.


But, there's the answer to how we met: It happened at work.


I just quickly want to mention how much I love the connections from blogging- the comments and the emails yesterday from those of you sharing your stories- it's amazing to find out how many experiences we have in common, even though no one would ever guess.  It means a lot that you shared those things with me.

Don't forget to check back tomorrow to see who is the new BFF: Blog Friend Feature. If you haven't checked out the first one- click the link in the sidebar and leave some love for Tammy.

What I Lost Once and How I Found It

I'm constantly misplacing things and I usually don't care. I know that they will turn up and I'll only drive myself crazy and make a huge mess trying to find them.


Yes, I found my camera, in case you were concerned. Now, I just need to remember where I put my wedding rings....shhhhhh! And yes, again they are misplaced.


But, for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, I chose the prompt: “What did you once lose? Write about your search to find it again.”

Well, it's cliched, but what I lost...was myself.


I was 24 years-old and trying desperately to hang on to the life that I thought I wanted.


To make myself into the person that  I thought X would still love, even though he fell in love with me as I was, I still felt like maybe I could change and make it all okay.


At a loss for what to do, I went from being a dark brunette to a blonde.


I became a size 0. Not by any effort on my part, though. I ate everything in sight. I think it was just stress.  I didn't stop moving during this time, so nothing stuck to me. I know, I hate the 24 year-old me, too. And regret not having more pics of me during this time.


I got a tattoo. So not like the conservative pain-hating girl I was.


Gone was my conservative wardrobe. I bought leather and sequins and lace. Short, tight, and revealing.


Dancing and drinking and laughing too loud.


I tried to fit the image of the girl I thought he wanted.


And, it still didn't work.


So, after I left, I didn't know what to do. Go back to the old me? Keep going with this new character I'd created?


It made sense to me to keep going on this path I'd started down. To prove some sort of point, though I can't remember now what that was.


I dated like a mad woman. A guy would call and I'd have to ask, "Um, who are you again?" and even then, I still couldn't keep them straight.


I once ditched a guy in the middle of a date for a cuter one that I saw in another part of the bar.


And then ditched that guy for his much cuter roommate, ten minutes later.


I didn't let anyone get close to me. No one was allowed to come to my house, not even to pick me up for a date.


Annoy me and you were gone. Two dates was the longest I tolerated anyone, but even that rarely happened.


But, in that short amount of time, I didn't have to let anyone in. No one could see that I was lost. That I didn't know what I wanted.


I'd move on before anyone could notice.


Move on while their image of me was still the fun, loud, skinny blonde who is up for anything.


Move on so quickly that I didn't even have to stop to see myself any other way, either. Keep myself so busy that I didn't have time to stop and think if this was really me.


And then....it hit me.


Sure, it's fun to play the cute party girl. The attention was nice and helped my ego after my bad break-up.


But, what if I want to dress in comfy clothes, tie my hair up, not wear any make-up, and sit on the beach with a book?


Ah, yes, that feels like me.


What if I didn't want to be all sunshine and roses all the time?


What if I didn't feel like dancing?


What if the jokes I was hearing weren't funny?


What if I didn't actually care if everyone adored me?


I wasn't allowing anyone to see that side of me.


Well, except for one friend I'd made during this time.


Who was my sounding board. Who laughed at the stories of my crazy antics. But, who saw me cry when it all got too hard to keep up with. Who listened to the stories of my past with no judgement. Whom I never once tried to impress...because I certainly wasn't going to date him. So, he heard it all.


Time passed. And I realized that the real me....was the girl that I was when I was with him. When I wasn't trying to impress or worry about what he thought of me.  He saw all of me: the party girl I showed the rest of the world and my quiet side, my ugly side, all of it.


That was me.


So, I guess you could say that I found myself and found my husband at the same time.

Pour Your Heart Out: The Good-bye Glass

If you need more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.

But, really, it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.

Please grab the button for your post and link up!

Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)

 <a href="http://thingsicantsay-shell.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="" src="http://i904.photobucket.com/albums/ac246/shellthings/pouryourheartout.jpg" /></a>

This didn't start out as my Pour Your Heart Out for the week- I was just going to post this for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop which is on Thursday- I know, I confuse people with doing things on the wrong days....but after I wrote this, I realized that I'd poured my heart out and that maybe that was enough for this week....maybe I was a little bit spent after thinking about this...so I'm double-dipping.

I don't like to dwell on the past. I'm a happily married woman and mom to three darlings. But, I do believe that the past is a part of making me who I am now. So, it also doesn't make sense to me to pretend like it never happened. Inspired by one of Mama Kat's writing prompts: a story with an ending of "good-bye," I'll give you a little peek into my past: about 10 years ago. Yes, I know that talking about myself in the third person is annoying, but humor me just this once.

She knocked timidly on the door to the place she had called "home" with him until the day that she'd left six weeks before.


He answered quickly and ushered her in with the grin that had melted her heart the night she'd first met him.


She looked around at the flowers and the glowing candles that were her welcome.


"I missed you," he told her.


She tried not to speak, though she did let him hold her.


She was only there to get the rest of her things. She'd known walking in that she didn't really want to leave. She loved him still.


He promised her things could be different. He promised he'd try harder. That he'd make her happy. That she was his world.


Still, she kept quiet, looking into the eyes of the one she thought she'd spend the rest of her life with.  She looked down at the ring she still wore on her hand.


The words all sounded right. It was exactly what she wanted to hear.


But, she remembered the hurt he'd caused.  She remembered vowing to herself to never let it happen again. She reminded herself that she was worth more than this and that she had a better life waiting for her or at least the promise of a better life.  She knew the words were not enough.


She vowed to remain strong, to leave this place.


He realized he wouldn't change her mind, that he couldn't stop her from leaving. "Someday," he told her, "we'll be together. Maybe our timing just isn't right. But, there's no way that we'll never see each other again."


She wanted to cry. Did that mean he still loved her? The way that he'd loved her in the beginning, when he made her feel like the world revolved around the two of them and nothing else mattered? We loved with a love that was more than love, echoed the line from a poem read long ago.


Maybe he just needed time. Time and then they'd be together.


But, if they were going to be together someday, why wait? Why leave? Why not stay?


Her resolve weakened and she opened her mouth to tell him that she didn't want to leave.


But, wait. He hadn't asked her to stay now.


He's only telling her that maybe someday, he'll be ready and they can be together then.


Not now.


That's no way to live. To love someone who can only make some vague promise of someday.


How would it be to stay with someone who didn't want the now, only the hope of something in the future?


And so she gathered the rest of her things. As she emptied her closet, her eyes came to rest on the wedding dress hanging there, still wrapped up.


She could see his reflection in the mirror. Knew he saw what she was looking at.


"You might need it someday," he said.


"I woudn't wear it to marry someone else," she whispered. "It wouldn't be right."


"No, but you still might need it. You never know..." And he smiled.


She left the room without another word and began to take her things to her truck, fighting back tears.


It seemed like there should be more to this scene unfolding before her eyes. That it wasn't possible to end this part of her life so quickly and without much fanfare. Someone should stop this, change this, where was that magical moment that happens in the movies where everything can be made okay again with just the right words?


He held her in his arms inside the doorway of the place that used to be theirs. She closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of him, trying to remember or to forget or to freeze the moment.


She silently prayed, "Don't ask me to stay. Don't ask me to stay.  I can't leave if you ask me to stay. Oh, please, ask me to stay.  Ask me...don't ask me...."


They walked outside and he helped her into the truck. He held her hand and said, "I love you."


She didn't trust herself.  She was afraid of what she would say if she spoke. She thought she'd fall apart if she tried to tell him what she was feeling. And she wanted his last memory of her to be that of a strong woman, not an emotional mess.


And so she merely smiled, let go of his hand, and closed her door.


She drove away from him, still fighting back tears.


When she could see the city where they'd lived in her rearview mirror, knowing she'd never go back, she let herself cry and whisper, "Good-bye."