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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The People Of Walmart...I mean, the Gym

Hubs has claimed that our gym is like "The People of Walmart." Okay, okay- it suits our purposes, but it's never going to be featured as one of the most fabulous gyms around.

I really thought about taking pics for this post but I couldn't figure out how to be discreet about it didn't want to gross you out thought that would be rude.

Still, he's so right- here are some things that I've witnessed that are big Gym Don'ts:

*Don't workout in your jeans.  Jeans don't breathe.  I try to be sensitive about things that cost money, but you can go to Walmart and buy yourself a pair of $5 sweatpants or shorts.

*Don't wear bootyshorts. This is particuarly true if you are a man. A man who likes to lean over the elliptical, pushing your booty even further up in the air. None of us wants to see that. And even if you are a woman who is in fabulous shape, well, bootyshorts might be okay, even if it will make other women hate you. Just make sure that no one can see anything that they shouldn't.

*Don't use the treadmill in your flip flops or dress shoes.

*Don't wear spandex. Just don't. And neon spandex is a double no.

*Don't forget that the girls need support.  Even if your girls aren't very big, they are still going to be bouncing around. And can be seen through your tank top. And if they are big? Well, they shouldn't be peaking out the bottom of your shirt. Say it with me: sports bra.

Labels: , ,


Blogger singedwingangel said...

Bwhahah the last one got me. Although when I went to our gym I saw a woman on the treadmill barefoot. I was thinking ewwww seriously.

March 29, 2011 at 7:06 AM  
Blogger Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Angel - I have to confess that I ran on our treadmill barefoot once - just out of curiosity. At least it wasn't a gym treadmill (ewww). And I got blisters from it - after just one mile!

What always got me when we belonged to a gym was the people who were heavy sweaters that didn't wipe down after using a piece of equipment. So gross.

March 29, 2011 at 7:09 AM  
Blogger Mommy Lisa said...

there is this one lady who comes in wearing the grossest, most disgusting, yet revealing workout clothes. And I KNOW she is not poor - I don't know how she walks around in that nasty stuff. Looks like she just walked into the gym from doing yard work. bleh.

March 29, 2011 at 7:22 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

This post and the comments had me cracking up! Almost enough motivation to join a gym ... ALMOST!

March 29, 2011 at 7:25 AM  
Blogger myevil3yearold said...

I haven't seen you at my gym but it sounds like you have been there!

March 29, 2011 at 7:31 AM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

Hahaha everytime I see old people out for walks/working out they are wearing jean shorts, dress shoes and a polo! Get some sweats guy!

March 29, 2011 at 7:37 AM  
Blogger The Blonde Duck said...

Are they seriously in flip flops on the treadmill? OMG.

March 29, 2011 at 7:52 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

This is hilarious! In their jeans? With flip flops? Who goes to the gym like this??? So funny.

March 29, 2011 at 7:53 AM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

I confess that I walked the track in the gym in jeans last week.

I went to get a new gym card and JDaniel decided he wanted to spend time in the play room. I didn't have sweats with me.

March 29, 2011 at 7:56 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

You seriously saw someone on the treadmill in flip flops/dress shoes? wth?

March 29, 2011 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

LMAO. Your gym really is like the People of Walmart.

March 29, 2011 at 8:11 AM  
Blogger Erinsgobragh said...

Are you serious you've seen people with flip flops and high heels on a treadmill!?

You so have to make this a weekly post! I'd so be willing to do a cartoon for it every week!

March 29, 2011 at 8:15 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I am fascinated. I want to see pictures, but then............I really don't want to see pictures.

WAlmart of gyms....that is a good comparison.

March 29, 2011 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger Brittney said...

bahahaha thats hilarious!!!

March 29, 2011 at 8:29 AM  
Blogger Katina said...

Treadmill with flip flops? Ok really? U are soooo right about the sports bra! Maybe it us just me but the girls bouncing around is so Not comfortable!

March 29, 2011 at 8:38 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Oh my gawd! The visuals gross me out even without photos. When I was going to the gym there was this guy who was wearing short shorts and obviously no underwear. Well lets just say, I got a free peep show. It was very gross!

March 29, 2011 at 8:38 AM  
Blogger Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

Guys in booty shorts are just plain gross.

March 29, 2011 at 8:48 AM  
Blogger The Toll House Cookie said...

No photos necessary! Your title describes it all!! Great post!!!

March 29, 2011 at 8:53 AM  
Blogger Mama Jules said...

Yet again, people never cease to amaze me. I want to come to your gym just for the entertainment.

Your tweets about bootyshorts guy always crack me up!

March 29, 2011 at 8:57 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

LOL! I really think there are a few of those at EVERY gym. There are some at mine! :)

March 29, 2011 at 9:15 AM  
Blogger FreeFlying said...

Let's not forget the beauty of cleanliness. My mom refuses to put on deodorant before she goes to the gym because "the whole point is to sweat." Then she'll go do body pump and pilates back to back. She's super fit. But she's also smelly.

March 29, 2011 at 9:31 AM  
Anonymous heidi @ wonder woman wannabe said...

oh my! no visuals needed! yikes. flip flops, really? wowsers!

we belong to a ywca - so generally people a pretty well covered/put together since it's such a family oriented type of place.

however, once there was a gal who was working out in a verrrry thin WHITE sports bra.

oh my.

you better believe i filled out a comment card requesting that the staff create some type of dress code asking patrons to not work out in sports bras alone.

March 29, 2011 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger Angelia said...

ROFL! How can anyone work out in jeans! A point that I've noticed at our gym--guys shorts should not be to loose around the legs. When they sit on a machine, I don't want to see their business!

March 29, 2011 at 9:53 AM  
Blogger Stephanie in Suburbia said...

Wait, someone works out in flip flops???

March 29, 2011 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger anSeL said...

seriously? if i'm there, my stomach will hurt because I can't laugh out loud!

March 29, 2011 at 10:02 AM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...


That's why I only ever work out barefoot in my evening gown. (With the top removed, of course, my girls must taste freedom.)

March 29, 2011 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger John said...

Oh, dear god - I thought all of this was second nature. I cannot imagine working out in jeans. When I was a gym rat (I work out either at home or on the road now), there was a woman who would look overly neat - always in a collared shirt, khaki shorts, and a belt. I wanted to yell at her each & every day.

I honestly cannot believe the number of women who run wearing only the compression layer...20 miles into a marathon, even a hardcore pervert like myself doesn't need to see cameltoe.

By any chance to you watch Modern Family? Cam and the bike shorts (which aren't bike shorts but just compression shorts - actual bike shorts have so much padding that you need to really do something obvious to make "it" obvious through the clothing) crack me up.

March 29, 2011 at 10:11 AM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

I once stopped by a Lifestyles gym to look around and saw that one of the ladies was on the treadmill in jeans and I saw another one in full dress clothes. I about died!

Luckily for us we go to the YMCA and there are signs posted that you must wear tennis shoes.

I get grossed out by the nasty sweat hogs that don't wipe of the equipment. That makes me want to vomit!

March 29, 2011 at 10:24 AM  
Blogger jayayceeblog said...

Neon spandex *snort* -- ahh, thanks for the laugh. And yes to sports bras!!!

March 29, 2011 at 10:42 AM  
Anonymous Denelle @CaitsConcepts said...

Thanks. I'm now having booty shorts visions... I may have thrown up in my mouth a little. =\

March 29, 2011 at 10:45 AM  
Blogger Jayme said...

I will come to your gym and take pics for you. I have no shame.

March 29, 2011 at 11:12 AM  
Blogger MiMi said...


March 29, 2011 at 11:28 AM  
Blogger Pamela Gold said...

I just experienced various images in my head while reading this and none of them were good. None.

March 29, 2011 at 11:28 AM  
Blogger Dumb Mom said...

What? Dress shoes?! Why? Personally I can't be bothered with Walmart or the gym for that matter:)

March 29, 2011 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I don't want to see boobies or hienies at the gym. Or really anywhere else for that matter. I'm not insanely glad that the people at my gym dress appropriately.

March 29, 2011 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger heavenisabookstore said...

Thank you for the laugh!! This cracks me up. I am so not surprised.

March 29, 2011 at 12:08 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Um, yeah. You got a crazy gym there. But what do I know, I haven't been in a gym in years.

March 29, 2011 at 12:33 PM  
Anonymous Kimberly said...

Who ever invented spandex should be punched in the taco.
Thanks for the chuckle!
I haven't been to the gym since I broke my back. I remember those odd people who just didn't seem to understand the dress code.

March 29, 2011 at 12:34 PM  
Blogger PBJdreamer said...

say it with me SPORTS BRA


love this,

that is all

March 29, 2011 at 12:34 PM  
Blogger Courtney K. said...

Working out in jeans?! Wha?? And yes. Bootyshorts are a no-no...for everyone. Have some respect.

March 29, 2011 at 12:35 PM  
Anonymous tracy said...

See, this is why I do not go to the gym. gross.

March 29, 2011 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

Sports bra! Oh my...pics would have been fabulous lmao

My motto is...if you can fit in a garment that contains more than 1% of spandex material...get yo ass off the treadmill cuz their are people here who really need to use it!! And what is with people getting on the treadmill right beside you when there are 4 other ones way down? There should be a one treadmill space minimum! I don't need to be splashed with your sweat, yo!

March 29, 2011 at 1:45 PM  
Blogger Renegades said...

Butts and boobies peeking out I'm not sure that's a walmart gym or free strip joint????

March 29, 2011 at 2:09 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Use your iPhone to take pictures of just the clothes people are wearing without their faces. They won't know you are taking the picture because you can pretend that you are playing a game or something.

What about pajama jeans? Are those acceptable to workout in? I have heard they are comfy.

March 29, 2011 at 2:20 PM  
Blogger Orglamix said...

LOL! Can I print this and post it at my gym?!?

March 29, 2011 at 2:32 PM  
Blogger angela said...

Do we go to the same gym? LOL

This should be discreetly posted on the wall at my gym (and yours!)

March 29, 2011 at 3:01 PM  
Blogger Not a Perfect Mom said...

how about-don't leave your undies face side up on the floor in the changing room?

March 29, 2011 at 3:53 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

Oh girl I am rofl...How do people get dressed in the morning and think "this looks good" and it is the worst thing ever!!! :) I just don't get it.

Booty shorts....can we say scary??

March 29, 2011 at 4:07 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

Ewww on the man booty shorts. *shudder* Thank you for not taking a picture of that.

The girls always need support no matter what.

March 29, 2011 at 5:19 PM  
Blogger kc said...

I cannot decide if I should laugh out loud at this or be completely disgusted....I laughed at the thought of neon spandex and flip flops. Really???

March 29, 2011 at 6:11 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Hilarious... And let's not forget the invisible requirements also... (i.e. strong enough DEODORANT)

March 29, 2011 at 6:29 PM  
Blogger 3LittleMonkeys said...

Working out in jeans? Oh my...sweat city...I wonder how they get them off afterwards???

March 29, 2011 at 6:48 PM  
Blogger WhisperingWriter said...

How could a person work out in jeans? That is nuts!

I have seen LOTS of people in Spandex. Granted, I've only been in a gym like 8 times, but still...

March 29, 2011 at 6:50 PM  
Blogger Sonora said...

Hahahaha! Amen to the spandex one. I haven't been to the gym in awhile, but it appears that some things never change!

March 29, 2011 at 6:59 PM  
Blogger Mama Marchand said...

Wowza. Sadly, our gym hasn't seen us in a LONG time ... but, if what you mentioned are the current trends in gym wear, I think we'll cancel our membership. ;)

March 29, 2011 at 8:04 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Don't hate the spandex! I've had some very refreshing and calorie burning gut-busting laughs due to men in spandex!...I'm giggling as I type this at the mere thought of men in spandex!

March 29, 2011 at 9:23 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

This is great! Sometimes I wonder if people have a mirror when they walk out in spandex!!!

March 29, 2011 at 10:10 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

1) Don't smoke right before you come in.
2) Don't douse yourself with cologne right before you come in
3) Don't cough and sneeze all over the equipment.
4) Please release all gas in the bathroom and not on the treadmill next to me.
5) Don't grunt like an animal when lifting heavy weights. Just go down in weight. Also, rack your freaking weights so I don't have to spend 10 minutes hauling 45s off the bar.

Not that I'm bitter. At all.

March 29, 2011 at 11:21 PM  
Blogger Lady Old Soul said...

LOL @ Cheryl!!! I was in our complex's fitness center the other night, and there was this freaking guy, you know the kind...lifts FAR more weight than he needs, and makes those roaring sex faces and sounds while lifting and staring at himself in the wall mirrors? UGH. I wanted to take the bottle of sanitizer spray over and spritz him in the face like you would do with a dog that barks at nothing. xD

I absolutely LOVE POWm.com!!! The WalCreatures crack me the hell up, no matter what's going on that day. I've seen a few of those at our gym, too...YUCK!!

March 29, 2011 at 11:48 PM  
Blogger Lady Old Soul said...

PS -- ROTFLMFAO @ "punched in the taco"...*dying!* That was the best one, I have to say!!!!

March 29, 2011 at 11:54 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Sometimes I wonder if it would be best to work out blindfolded.

March 30, 2011 at 12:09 AM  
Blogger Mommy Needs a Vacation said...

Can we add to your list:
"Old man, please stop talking and flirting with me. I am never, I repeat NEVER going to return the favor."

March 30, 2011 at 1:07 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

LMAO! That's awesome, Shell.... our gym is quite like yours. We live in hippiville Oregon so you can only imagine the things we see.

March 30, 2011 at 2:26 AM  
Blogger K Pugliano said...

Oh my....How can one work out in jeans?? Eww. And flip flops on the treadmill? What is up with that??!

This could certainly rival POW, with just your words! :)

March 30, 2011 at 6:09 AM  
Anonymous Making It Work Mom said...

WHAT!!! Now I confess I haven't been to the gym in awhile, but really people are doing that. Oh god makes me laugh!

Next time though I want pictures!

March 30, 2011 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger A Mommy in the City said...

Oh wow! Please tell me some of these are a joke?! I would love to spend a day people watching at your gym!

March 30, 2011 at 1:02 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

I can't believe that some people actually do that!! who works out in jeans? or flip flops! or any of that! lol

March 30, 2011 at 1:12 PM  
Blogger Charlotte said...

LMAO!!!!! Omg, I love this post. You should really hand out this list of "don'ts" at your gym :)

Also, seriously?! People work out in jeans??

March 30, 2011 at 1:30 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

Oh, thank you and YES!

Do you know that this woman at the gym, not an attractive one, either, she wears NOTHING under her thin cotton T and too too TOO small booty shorts.

Her boobs and a** touching everything.

IT is so gross.


March 30, 2011 at 4:43 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Ha! I live in a gay neighborhood and everyone at the gym is perfect and super stylish. Go figure. Just a little intimidating.

March 30, 2011 at 10:36 PM  
Blogger Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

I feel so bad for some of the boobs at the gym...they're just so abused!

March 31, 2011 at 7:11 AM  
Blogger Meghan said...

This is really too funny. I would love to see the pictures, but of course it would be impossible to take them. What I'm picturing in my mind is pretty hilarious though.

April 2, 2011 at 9:06 PM  

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