Pour Your Heart Out: When I Can't Be Upbeat

Welcome to Pour Your Heart Out- if you need more info on how to participate, check out THIS post. But it's personal- it's what YOU think is pouring your heart out. Please grab the PYHO button or link back in your post if you are participating.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)

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I thought for sure this would be an easy week for me to "Pour Your Heart Out."

It's Lead Poisoning Awareness Week so I thought I'd talk about how Bear's lead levels continue to come down and how much progress he's making at school. I thought I'd share how sometimes, as a mom, we can do things to protect our kids but we can still miss things and how we shouldn't blame ourselves.

And yet, here I am, not ready to write an upbeat post about progress.

Because while Bear's lead levels do continue to go down, we don't know how much permanent neurological damage has been done.

And while he's doing better at school than he was at the beginning of the school year, I still have to pick him up two hours early every day because the full day is just too much for him. And he still manages to find trouble. And that he seems "off" in comparison to kids his age.

I just wish things could be easy for him. 

He has a psychologist appointments this month to further evaluate and see if there is anything else we can do to help him. We're hoping for help.

But, I can't find it in me to be upbeat about it right now.

And while I could write the second part of the post, about how we can miss things as moms, even when we think we are being careful... I can't talk about not blaming myself. 

I used to check all the recalls diligently to make sure my boys didn't have any toys that contained lead.

But, it was our home, which we were told was safe, that poisoned my son- my Bear who was at that stage where kids put everything in their mouths: oldest was past it and youngest wasn't there yet, which is how only one of our children was affected. 

And even though I've been told time and again that I couldn't have known, that I did what I could, that we can't see every danger....

I still blame myself. 

And I sometimes live in the Land of What-If where I wonder just how different Bear's life would have been if we'd caught it earlier. 

Public VS Private School: A Decision I Never Thought I'd Make

Before my boys were born, I was a public school teacher.  A big believer that the biggest difference in a child's school experience comes from the parents: if  child has an involved parent and the family values education, then you can have a positive experience at almost any school.


I still do believe that. 


But, it's not as simple as that.


My Bear will be old enough to go to kindergarten in the fall.  We had gone back and forth over the decision to send him or wait a year, since he will still be a young 5.


At this point, we think we're going to send him.  His teacher always says how smart he is- it's not a matter of academic-readiness, it's a matter of emotional and behavioral.  While some of these concerns are probably normal for any boy his age, our biggest concerns are the complications he has from lead poisoning.


Will he be okay in a public school classroom?


One that might very well be over-crowded, like my oldest's was at the beginning of this year- he started the year with almost 30 kindergarteners in his class.  That lasted about a month or so, until they added another kindergarten teacher.  But, a month is a long time and the first month of school is such a crucial one for a child's adjustment to school.


Will they be able to give him the special assistance that he needs? While there is a special education program at the school, how quickly he would be serviced and if it would be enough have me concerned.


Sometimes a mama has to go with her gut and my gut is telling me that my Bear would drown in the public kindergarten.


So, we are looking at the Christian school, where he would be in a small class.  We're also looking at the Montessori school, with its child-centered approach.


I've realized that just like the rest of the choices that we've had to make for our children, it's not really about a generalization like "Public schools are the way to go!" but about what each individual child needs.


Do you send your children to public or private school? How did you make that choice?

Pour Your Heart Out: Not a Spoiled Child

If you have never visited Pour Your Heart Out before, see THIS post for more information- but it's personal- it's what YOU think is pouring your heart out. Please grab the PYHO button or link back in your post if you are participating.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)

Also, the linky is what you make of it- if you link up a Pour Your Heart Out post, please make an effort to visit some of the other linkers. And even if you don't link up, visit a link or two to find some new blogs to read! Tips to make the most of a linky.






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A couple weeks ago, my 4 year-old, Bear, was about to have Spring Preschool Picture Day. In caps because this was important to him. They would get to hold a baby bunny for these pics.


I mistakenly thought the pics were a week earlier than they actually were. So did a few other parents, so I'm convinced that somewhere, we'd seen the date posted as that day.  He had gone to school in a cute blue polo and khaki shorts, with new shoes. He was happy and ready.  But, my mama-fail prepared him for the wrong day.


Fast forward six days later: when he has a sticker on his shirt that says "I am having my picture taken on my next school day." For mamas like me who need these obvious reminders.


His teacher buckles him in and Bear turns to me with a huge grin on his face, informs me that he has pictures tomorrow and then says "I need a purple shirt for my pictures. Purple is my favorite."


To which I heaved a huge sigh.  Not that I have anything against purple on a little boy. But, he had never mentioned purple. And pics were the next day.


We got home and I showed him his blue shirt, "Look at this blue shirt! You love blue!"


And then he got that look on his face. That look I know so well. The one that says he is shutting down.


So, I resign myself to going on a purple shirt hunt after we pick up my oldest. Tweet something like "On a mission to find a purple shirt for my 4y/o who doesn't want to wear anything else for his pics tomorrow. Wish me luck." No luck at two stores I'd had hope for in the mall, no luck at Target. Tweeting out my frustration.


Purple polo shirt success finally achieved in Marshalls: beaming Bear carried the bag out of the store.


But, what I thought about...while some people replied to me on twitter about how I should make him wear the blue shirt.... and when I think about how you might be judging me right now for running around like a crazy woman just to find a shirt when he had one that was perfectly fine at home....


Are you judging? Do you think my child is spoiled?


Because I probably would think that. I have my judge-y moments, I admit.


Or, more accurately, I would have thought that. Before I had a child like my Bear.  Because if this had been my oldest insisting on a last minute color change in shirt for his pictures, I probably would have rolled my eyes, told him he had the blue one, and then turned back to my computer and ignored him. Issue over.


But, if you don't know my Bear, you don't know what he is like. He has various issues due to lead poisoning: complex issues that affect the way that he is able to process ideas and deal with emotions.


Sometimes, when things are "off," in comparison to how he would like them to be, he doesn't handle it well. Thankfully, this is usually in the small things. Like if Big Brother Monkey tries to sit in Bear's booster seat instead of his own.  Or if his socks are feeling weird and he doesn't want to wear them.  Or if he wants the pretzel goldfish instead of the cheddar ones to take to school as his snack. Or if he wants to wear a purple shirt instead of a blue one.


Little things. Things that honestly, don't upset our day. Big Brother should be in his own booster anyway. And if he gets stinky feet from not wearing socks, that's not a huge issue. Take the pretzel goldfish, they are right next to the cheddar ones. And I'll find a purple shirt.


Bear has a hard time expressing how he is feeling or if he can tell us that, he can't explain WHY feels that way.  He just wants us to get it. It's very frustrating for him and heartbreaking for us.


Bear has enough that he has to work to overcome.  So, if I can make things easier for him by going along with the small things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of life, I am going to do it.


I'm aware that everyone in his life is not going to be as accomodating. And when it comes down to something important or something that I can't be flexible about, well, there's nothing I can do about those things.


He does not get his way all the time or get everything he wants. He's not spoiled.  Is it fair that I might sometimes say "yes" to a request from him that I might say "no" to if it was coming from his brothers? No, it's not.


But, it's also not fair that things can be so damn hard for him.


And he does look adorable in his purple shirt.

Can Boys and Girls Be Friends?

Several weeks ago, my Bear had a huge turning point at preschool.  Instead of hearing about what he had done wrong in preschool that day, I heard that he had good days.


He was excited to go to school.  And the credit goes not to his teacher, but to his friend Emily.(This is not her name, doesn't sound anything like her name, but was what he thought her name was for a few days, before he figured out what her real name is and is what I'll call her in this post b/c she is not my child.)


Emily and Bear adored each other.  She was very patient or maybe a little bossy, but in a good way, and helped him to stay focused at school and do what he was supposed to be doing.


They were just so cute together.  They were the ones who started the flash mob on their preschool field trip.

Again, not my child, so no pics of her on my blog, but I promise you that her smile is just as big as Bear's.

But, last week, he got in the van after school and said through tears, "I can't be Emily's friend any more."


"Why, honey?"


"I can't, I can't, no more friends with girls," said with a very emphatic head shake.


*SIGH*



But, I let it go.  Because when he gets his mind set on something or starts getting upset, it's really best not to push him.



Until, he stopped wanting to go to school.  He started getting upset about having to go and saying that he didn't have friends.


*sound of mama's heart breaking*


His teacher asked me if I knew what happened between him and Emily.  So, I decided to push a little further and see if I could get an answer from him.


"Meanboy told me that I'm not allowed to be friends with Emily because I'm not allowed to be friends with girls." *I've been around this boy enough to know that Meanboy is a good name for him.


I admit, I had a strong urge to shake Meanboy.  Really, why does this boy-girl split have to happen so young? Are preschoolers watching when Harry Met Sally? And if so, how do you explain that scene in the cafe? That Sally's food is just really good?


I went into the preschool the next day to tell Bear's teacher that Meanboy had told Bear he wasn't allowed to be friends with Emily any more.


His teacher had a sharp intake of breath and then said, "That's not true."


I paused for a second, in shock.  My Bear is far from perfect.  However, he does not lie; making up things like that is not something that he is able to do. 


But, then I realized she was talking to Bear after she told him that Meanboy shouldn't have said that and that Bear is allowed to be friends with Emily.  And she told me that Meanboy tends to tell people a lot of things that aren't true and tries to boss everyone around.


They had a talk and now Bear and Emily are back to being friends and Bear once again is excited to go to school.


And he's back to asking if he can have a sleepover with Emily. We can't win as parents, can we?


In case you are new around here, my Bear suffers from lead poisoning, which has many effects which cause him to have a difficult time in a school setting.

Blissed Out Thanks to LeadCheck

I spent the past few days at the Blissdom Conference in Nashville. It was inspiring and informative...and a whole lot of fun.


What you realize from meeting all of these wonderful women in person is that each one of us has a story: each one of us has our successes, we all have our own struggles that we have overcome or are working to overcome.


We're all very real.


My own personal story has been affected by my middle son who has lead poisoning.  Those of you who read me regularly know that I blog about all aspects of my life and not just about lead poisoning, but that is a part of my life.  A very real struggle.


While at Blissdom, I was able to share more about my son's lead poisoning and talk about LeadCheck, which has at-home testing kits for lead.  Lead poisoning is not something to be taken lightly and many people are not aware of the damage that it can cause; I wish that I didn't know all of the details about it, but unfortunately, as a mom of a child with lead poisoning, I've learned.


LeadCheck did sponsor me for the conference and I thank them very much for doing so.  I very much believe in their products and feel like our partnership was a natural one.


I would encourage you to check out their at-home testing kits for lead; you can also check out my review of their products.  They are definitely worth buying. You do not want any of your children to have to deal with lead poisoning.


I wish mine didn't.  And that is where my passion for this product comes from.


LeadCheck did sponsor me for Blissdom, however, all opinions of their company and product are my own.


@LeadCheck on twitter
LeadCheck on facebook

Does Your Drinking Glass Contain Lead?

As many of you know, my middle son suffers from lead poisoning.

The struggles he has had to deal with have been a challenge. Knowing all the complications from lead poisoning has made me be very aware of where you can find lead.

It's not just in old paint. Or toys.

Recently, there have been some drinking glasses that have been found to contain lead. Glasses imported from China have been found to have up to 30% lead in their enameled logos. The federal limit for lead in children's products is 0.03%.

Now, you might think that it's not a big deal unless your child is licking that cartoon logo, but the lead can get on their hands by them touching the glass. Then, if they later put their hands to their mouths, they could get the lead into their system.

Don't forget about the recent recall of Shrek glasses from McDonalds. I had some of those glasses. Thankfully, they hadn't been used yet when we heard about the recall and I immediately put them out of my children's reach and then returned them.

If you are looking for drinking glasses, don't assume that just because there is some cute cartoon character on them that they have been tested for lead. Check out this video of a Mickey Mouse glass being tested positive for lead with a LeadCheck Swab:

I'm going to make sure that I buy drinking glasses made in the USA. Plus, I'm now obsessive about checking things with my LeadCheck Swabs.


Don't forget that just because a toy(or other item) has a brand name that you usually trust, it doesn't mean that it is safe. In 2009, Fisher Price was fined for toys that had over the legal limit of lead in them. Yes, I will be testing all of my boys' Christmas toys before Santa delivers them.


Think I'm overreacting? If you had a child who had lead poisoning, you wouldn't think so.


To stay on top of the latest lead news and to find out where you can buy LeadCheck Swabs, follow LeadCheck's blog, follow them on twitter, or fan them on facebook.


As a mom to a child with lead poisoning, thank you to LeadCheck for offering such a valuable service. LeadCheck is my sponsor to Blissdom, however, I would be telling you about them and talking about news concerning lead poisoning anyway because this is a part of my family's life.

My Blissdom Sponsor: LeadCheck

You may have heard me squeal across twitter on Monday afternoon that I was going to the Blissdom conference and that I had a sponsor.  I couldn't help it- I was so excited!


Now, I'd like to introduce you to my sponsor: LeadCheck^® .


They contacted me after I posted about my middle son's lead poisoning. They offered to send me some of their LeadCheck^®  Swabs so that I could test to make sure that we didn't have anything in our home now that has lead.


Like most of you, all I used to know about lead poisoning is that "it's bad." And that it could come from old paint. Or I'd heard stories about toys containing lead. But, I had no idea of just how much damage it could do to a child.


Plus, hey, if my child isn't eating old paint chips, he's safe, right? Wrong. What I learned is that kids can touch surfaces that contain lead... and then if they later put their hands to their mouths with the lead still on them, that's a way for them to get the lead into their systems. And ironically enough, lead is very sweet, which appeals to kids.


After encountering children with illnesses related to lead-poisoning, Dr. Marcia Stone created LeadCheck® Swabs, allowing for instant-read lead-detection and the prevention of lead contamination. Over the years, Dr. Stone has contributed to the prevention of lead poisoning in children and adults through early lead detection.  The EPA recognizes that LeadCheck^® test kit can reliably determine that regulated lead-based paint is not present.


Some of the most common places that lead is found are:
*Paint
*Ceramics
*Vinyl lunch boxes
*Mini-blinds
*Bathtubs (this includes older tubs and the glaze used on some newer tubs)
*Solder


Believe me when I tell you that lead poisoning is not something that you ever want your child to go through. Lead may cause a range of health effects, from behavioral problems and learning disabilities, to seizures and death. Until we found out that my son had lead poisoning, Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder were considered. We do not know what the long term effects will be.  I wouldn't wish this on anyone.


I'm thrilled that LeadCheck ^® exists and am excited about my partnership with them so that I can tell other moms about their products so that you can keep your children safe. Their products are very easy to use.




I have a giveaway of the swabs going on right now that ends tonight, if you are interested in trying these out. You can enter HERE.


Just this week, lead was found in reusable bags from Winn-Dixie, Publix, Sweetbay, Walmart, and Target.   You can follow LeadCheck's blog, like them on facebook, and follow them on twitter to stay up-to-date on the latest news about lead.


LeadCheck is sponsoring me to Blissdom in exchange for sharing information about them with you. But, as the mom of a child with lead poisoning, I'd want to share this anyway. Shhh, don't tell them that.

Keep Our Kids Safe: LeadCheck Review and Giveaway

When I poured my heart out to you about my son's lead poisoning, many of you had questions about how you can keep your kids safe. It's something all moms know that we want to avoid for our kids, but most don't realize just how serious it can be.


LeadCheck contacted me last week and offered to send me some of their LeadCheck® Swabs. The owner of the company, Dr. Marcia Stone, created LeadCheck® Swabs 23 years ago after learning of children suffering from lead poisoning from exposure in their own homes. She combined years of scientific knowledge and experience to create an instant read lead detection tool to help protect families.  I was very impressed by them: they read my post on a Wednesday and UPS was dropping off a package for me on Friday.


Though we have moved away from the source of my son's lead poisoning, I'm still very concerned about any other possible sources of lead. I can't begin to describe the feeling of panic that I have that we may have brought something with us that has been contaminated.

From their site: LeadCheck® Swabs are non-hazardous and provide a rapid, sensitive and specific test for leachable lead on any surface. When lead is detected, LeadCheck® Swabs and/or the surface being tested turns pink or red on contact, depending on the concentration of lead present. In the vast majority of test situations results are obtained in less than 30 seconds. When detecting low levels of lead, or lead chromate containing pigments, results may take longer to develop. Each kit contains test confirmation cards to verify individual test results.



They were very easy to use. So far, nothing that I have tested has had any lead. What a relief! After all that we have gone through with my son's lead poisoning, it is so comforting to know that this product exists. And I will continue to test more items in our home until I feel reassured that we are completely lead-free.


There is a misconception that kids will only get lead poisoning from old paint or certain toys from China, but that's not always the case. If you follow LeadCheck's blog or twitter or facebook, you can stay on top of the latest information and warnings.  Who would have ever thought that some bounce houses would be a potential threat?


Because lead poisoning is unfortunately something that is a part of my family's life, I will be blogging more about it, because I want to make sure that moms realize just how dangerous it can be.  Lead poisoning is preventable and not something that you ever want your child to have to go through.


But, for now, I wanted to make you aware that LeadCheck® Swabs exist. You can check out where to buy them AND they are offering two of my readers some of their product.


To enter: If your email is not visible in your profile, you must leave it with your comment. Mandatory entry must be completed for additional entries to count. Giveaway will end at 9pm EST on Saturday, November 20th. Winners will be selected by random.org, announced on this post, and notified by email. Winners will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be selected. US only, please.


Mandatory entry: Visit the LeadCheck blog and tell me something that you learned.


Additional entries: Leave a separate comment for each entry.
*Follow LeadCheck on twitter
*Like LeadCheck on facebook
*Follow shellthings on twitter
*Tweet this giveaway(leave link each time you tweet/may tweet once per day): Keep your kids safe from lead poisoning with the help of @LeadCheck Swabs. #Giveaway from @shellthings http://bit.ly/d0E0WZ


I was sent LeadCheck® Swabs before writing this review. Regardless, I would be singing their praises because I think it's such an important thing that they are doing.

This giveaway is now closed. The winners are #2 Oka and #63 Raven in a Blue Room.