Pour Your Heart Out: Week 3

If you want more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.

But, really, it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.

Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)

   <a href="http://thingsicantsay-shell.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="" src="http://i904.photobucket.com/albums/ac246/shellthings/pouryourheartout.jpg" /></a>



This is my "where I suck as a mom" edition of Pour Your Heart Out.


I have to tell you that this is probably the worst thing that I've done as a mother and even *I* who tells you everything, hesitated about sharing this.


Because it breaks my heart that I failed so miserably.


For those of you who don't know, I was a teacher for almost 6 years before my oldest was born.  I became known for taking those students who didn't shine in other classes and having them shine like a superstar for me. That expectations and encouragement make a huge difference. I preached that shit.


Which makes my fail even worse.


Again, if you don't know, my almost-4-year-old, Bear, has had some developmental delays due to a previous illness. As he's healing, he's making tremendous strides.


But, I had him evaluated once again recently. As his preschool teacher and I were discussing the results from the eval team, she said something that stopped me in my tracks.


She said, "He is such a smart little boy. He's so smart."


And my heart stopped.


Not that I've ever said that he was stupid, but I don't think I've ever called him smart.


He's extremely athletic and has always tested well above his age in his gross motor skills. He tests higher than his big brother in this area. At least 2 years above the norm in that area. He's our little athlete.


He's sweet as all can be. He hugs and kisses and freely gives out "I love you"s.  He's the first to notice if someone is crying and go see if they are okay. I clearly remember the day that our doctor called to give us his lab results last year. Tears were streaming down my face and my little Bear ran to get a baby wipe and tried to wipe my tears away.


And he's gorgeous. He has the best smile and the prettiest eyes, with the longest eyelashes.


But, have I ever told him that I thought he was smart?


Maybe. Yes. No. I don't know. I don't remember. Probably not.


Worse: have I ever really thought "Bear is smart"?


I don't think so.


See, I told you this was bad.


And, oh, my darling Bear, I'm so sorry. So, so, so, so sorry. You are smart.  You know so much and try so hard to learn new things. You are learning new things every day. My smart, smart Bear.

Post-it Notes: Spring Madness Already

Don't forget to come back and link up tomorrow for Pour Your Heart Out! You can write about anything that is on your mind. Check out last Wednesday's links for some ideas! For tomorrow, I wrote about my biggest parenting fail yet. One I really hope that I never, ever top.

Mommy Moments: Boys, Bras, and Boobs

Do you have those moments where you think OMG, I never thought I/my kids would say/do that.


 No, not me....and not my kids.....

And then, motherhood proves you wrong!

Mommy Moments Monday is our chance to share those.

I should probably go ahead and admit that I laugh inappropriately when this stuff happens.

Sometimes, it's either laugh or cry.

I much prefer laughing.

As you probably know, I have three little boys. In case you didn't know that and want to ask me if I'm going to try for a little girl, let me state for the record that I had three kids, none of them twins, within the span of less than 3.5 years. We're done. I can see the light at the end of the diaper tunnel.

Moving on.

Yesterday morning, my almost-4 year-old came into my room when he woke up in the morning. He found one of my bras on the floor beside the bed where I'd tossed it before getting into bed.

He picked it up and said, "It's your zebra, Mom."

Zebra?

Zebra?

Oh....

Ze......bra!

"Where's the white stripes, Mom?"

Side note: I want to cry that he no longer calls me "Mommy."

"I look on the directions."

Then, he tries to put my bra on.

Looks down at himself and asks.....

"Where are my horns?"

Don't worry.


Hubs told him that they aren't called "horns."


Instead, they are

There's my Mommy Moment for this week. Be sure to click the Mommy Moments button and check out others and to share your own!

Lots of Winners to Announce!

First of all, Just Dance Yer Bloggy Off!

I guess I beat Supahmommy by default this week, since she never did get her video up.

The one time she has a higher score than me and she has technical difficulties.

Though, I totally belive that she beat me, since I royally sucked this week!

Someone who totally rocked the song- got higher on the short version than I can get on the long version is:

Messy Mommy!

She's once again our high scoring Dancing Queen!

For fan fav, it's a first-timer:

Stasha!

For Just Dance winners only: since Supahmommy totally has her act together: please enter your info HERE.

For my giveaways that ended last night:

The A Rather Charming Invitation book goes to: EL

and the Uprinting Canvas Print goes to: Life's a Dance.


I left comments on your blogs- please email me your info so that you can get your prizes!


I have some more giveaways coming up soon, including another "fun" one....I guess that's what happens when you issue a "just say yes" challenge.....

I Got My Crown!

I am a Project Runway junkie.

I kid you not.

I even watch the reruns.

Maybe it's because I'm so NOT fashionable. And so not creative enough to have any idea how these designers complete their challenges. I would hear those challenges and go "Um, what?"

So, I watch.

The person who was eliminated this past Thursday had the best exit line ever.

"You don't have to have the crown to be the queen."

Ooooh, I loved it.

But, now I have a crown.

That I nominated myself for.

Thanks to Elizabeth at Confessions of a Working Mom, I can be a queen WITH a crown.

Making a Difference

Saturdays are our family days. We're probably out on the beach right now.

But, I've decided to continue what I started last Saturday and take time to recognize a fabulous blogger.

No, not with an award.

In blog world, we probably get 50 putdowns to every ONE compliment. At least, that's the way that it feels some days.

So, I'm going to hang on to this little bit from an email forever:

What you're doing. The things you write. They make a difference.

I don't know if there is anything better that you could say to a blogger.

Other than that you'll give me a $3.5 million book deal. But, I'm trying to be serious here.

And so, I want to pass this thought along again and recognize another blogger here.

This one, most of you are probably already familiar with. She has energy that I'm almost certain she made a deal with the devil Santa Claus to have. She's funny and has a million different ideas that she manages to go actually implement.

Most of all, she has the kindest heart. I know her irl, people. I've seen her kindness in action.

And so, to Supahmommy, I say:  What you're doing. The things you write. They make a difference.

Comments are off. Go show some love to Supah.

Just Dance Yer Bloggy Off: Bebe

Ready to Dance Yer Bloggy Off?

I am teaming up with the incomparable Supahmommy

to bring you:

 <a href="http://thingsicantsay-shell.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="" src="http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s27/dperry_2007/danceoff-1.png" /></a>

Love the Wii and Just Dance game.

Our song was "Bebe" for this week.

Which I majorly suck at.

So, I decided to channel Madonna

and

STRIKE A POSE.


Vogue, vogue, vogue...

Did you know there's a mode on Just Dance that is called "Strike a pose"?

It's sort of the grown-up version of the kids' game Freeze Dance.

A stop sign appears at different parts of the dance and you have to be completely still or you lose points.

Different twist.

Plus, then I can totally blame my horrible score on the mode, not on the fact that I can never do this song!
My video is below- if you don't see it- REFRESH!

I think Supahmommy might actually beat me this week!

Who is going to be our high scoring DANCING QUEEN? With fabulous prizes from our sponsor, Just Dance.

 AND, don't forget to tell people to vote for you for FAN FAV.  Supah has fabulous secret prizes for you, too. There were not many votes last week, so YOU CAN WIN THIS!!!!

Link up your dances!

NEXT WEEK'S SONG IS STEP BY STEP BY NKOTB! Oooooh, baby....

Friday Follow: No Whammies...

No Whammies, no whammies, big money, big money!

Please tell me you remember that show? Press Your Luck!

Did you know that there is a contest going on today with Friday Follow?

The sponsor, Toothsoap(which I've tried, btw- does that count for bonus entries???), is giving away $100 to three different participants in Friday Follow.

How awesome is that????

Click the button above to join in!

I get all excited when I get a new follower and find a new blog that I love.

Really, I do a little dance.

Or a lot of dancing.

Just Dance Yer Bloggy Off is today, btw.

I majorly sucked at this song.

Around here, I pretty much spill it all.

The silly and the serious.

Being a mom of three boys.

Lovin' my husband.

A Yankee transplant to the South.

Sometimes I use this word:

And sometimes I Pour My Heart Out:

If that sounds like a blog you'd like to read, then welcome, welcome, welcome!

Please make sure that I can find your blog if you are a new follower!

This goes for those of you who have followed in the past week or so, too: if I haven't been over yet, PLEASE leave me your blog url!

No whammies, no whammies...big money, big money....Happy Friday!

Easy Breezy Day

Did you get a chance to visit some of the links from Pour Your Heart Out yesterday? They were absolutely fabulous. Broken hearts, blog friends, what heaven will be like, confessing secrets, judging others, whether to have another baby, even not knowing how to pour your heart out...those were just some of the topics covered. If you get time today, visit the links and I promise that you will find some amazing new blogs to follow!


But, because Wednesdays are now a little heavier reading days for me, I'm going to try to do some lighter things on Thursdays! I'm playing along with two memes that I've never done before. They're fun! And don't worry, I can double-dip and still keep it short. ;)

I'm linking up with Kimberly at Pretty Pink Mama for Video Thursday.

My boyfriend, Nathanael yes, he's my boyfriend and you can't have him, I'll cat-fight you for him, aka T!nk at This Is How It Feels, can't participate in Just Dance Yer Bloggy Off because he doesn't have a Wii.

But, he loves me enough see, I told you he's my boyfriend, that he made a video of himself dancing to last week's song, Cotton Eye Joe.

Isn't he a doll? Go pay him a visit.

And visit Kimberly while you're at it.

I wouldn't steer you wrong.

Don't forget that tomorrow's song is Bebe!

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Brittany at Mommywood has an easy way to pick a pic to share: she gives you a number and you find that pic in your files! This week's number is: #25. So, I opened up one of my folders and found this pic.

Ah, Halloween pics! That little monkey is Cub(though yes, Monkey was a monkey, too, and so was Bear) and the Backyardigan is my darling niece, Belly.

Getting a little sad b/c we've spent the past 3 Halloweens together, we have our own little traditions...and we probably won't be together much for it now that we've moved.

Oh, Belly, I miss you.

*****

And finally, this one goes out to the one I love....

With Kmama at The Daily Dribbles

My dear, darling Hubs, whom I love with all my heart: I understand that you had to leave for work super-early yesterday. And it sucks that you had to get up at 5am. But, you did know that the boys were still sleeping, right? And that I was fast asleep? So, for turning the freaking tv on at that horrid hour...and just to CMT, so you can't even claim it was to check for a freak snowstorm in March in NC....for that noise that made it impossible for me to go back to sleep....thank you very much.

Pour Your Heart Out: Week 2

In case you don't know what this is about, I'll lay it out for you. If you already know, you can skip down to below the button.

I tend to write a post about once a week where I really pour my heart out to you.   I've written about marriage, religion, anger, the struggles I've had with my middle son, body image, and sex, just to name a few.  And I love having a place where I can get this all out.  So, I thought I'd see if anyone else wanted to "Pour Your Heart Out" with me. Here are the Rules: Write a post from the heart. Something that has been weighing on you. Something you feel passionately about.Something you've been wanting to talk about.A cause, a memory, a belief, a world view. Anything. I don't want to assign you a topic because I really want this to be from your heart.  Though, if you are stumped, read some of the posts that are linked, and get ideas from there! We had some amazing posts last week: looking back on the past, religion, mothering...they were so touching to read.  Grab my new button for your post and link up!  <a href="http://thingsicantsay-shell.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="" src="http://i904.photobucket.com/albums/ac246/shellthings/pouryourheartout.jpg" /></a>

I hate that I even have to say this, but, whether you are participating or just reading, please keep in mind that the people linking really are sharing something from the heart. So, please, BE RESPECTFUL. We might not agree with each other, but we can all accept someone's right to have a different opinion than we do and NOT attack someone because of this. Play nice. :)

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I needed tissues for some of your posts last week. And some of you made me laugh. Remember: you can write whatever it is that is on your heart. It might be a tearjerker one week and funny the next. No rules or expectations, other than for you to share something from your heart.


What I'm going to share with you today isn't really something that is going to make you reach for a tissue. But, it's something that I struggled with a lot when I was younger.

I am a confident woman.

I actually say things like:

Well, you do know that I'm fabulous, right?

and

Because I'm so darn cute. And smart.

and

Of course, everyone loves me.

Wait....wait...don't run away from the crazy lady on an ego trip.

Here's my secret: I used to be the most insecure person ever. Really.

I thought just about everyone I knew was better than me. Prettier, thinner, funnier, you name it.

I compared and they were fabulous while I sucked.

But, here's something that I learned along the way: listening to someone list all their shortcomings gets really old.

And, if someone acts like they aren't "good enough," well, that's how they get treated.

But, if you are comfortable with who you are and act confident, people will start to see you that way.

That's right. I'm telling you to fake it til you make it.

My roommate in college was always getting asked out on dates and asked to participate with this group and that...and I usually just tagged along, feeling like the unwanted loser.

But, do you know what? Looking back at pictures, I was just as pretty as she was. And funny and smart, too.

Though, I didn't realize it at the time. Instead, I expected that people wouldn't like me. And it made such a huge difference in the way that she and I were treated.

I wish I could go back and instill some confidence in myself. I would have had a lot more fun and not wasted so much time worrying about inconsequential things.

And now? Well, maybe I go a bit overboard with my confidence and it gets translated to arrogance.

But, if you really know me, you know that I say those things about myself in complete and total jest. And I still have my moments where I want to panic from insecurity.

I've just matured enough to shake off that insecurity and hold my head up high.

Now, please link up! And visit some of the other linkers!

Survivor: The Icky Challenge

So, this week, our challenge for Supah Survivor was to find some icky creature and let it crawl on us for five seconds.

With video evidence.

I really want immunity, as well as the necklace....which is just ONE of the prizes this week. Um, I'm lodging a formal complaint. I loved my prizes, but c'mon, this is just ONE of the prizes this week. Seriously????? Not fair. Taking my toys and going home.

Oh, wait, I still want to win.

So, then, I went on a bug hunt. Or, rather, sent my boys for a bug hunt. In the yard and on the beach.

No luck.

One night, I looked out on the deck and saw some gigantic bug. I raced to get my flip camera so I could record it. But, when I got back, he was gone. I think he looked like this:

I'm aware that he's probably running lose in my house now. Thanks for that.

So, today, Bear and I stopped at the pet store and I looked for the creepiest looking thing I could find. Lizards and snakes were my first thought.

And then I saw this:

I know, you're thinking that a white mouse isn't that bad.

But, this thing WAS huge.

It was some variety of giant mutant white RAT.

It would have taken BOTH of my hands to hold it and I don't think they would have fit around it.

It's tail was as thick as 4 pencils put together.

It looked like it would escape and then attempt to eat my child.

I got the urge to throw up.

And, I knew that it would have to be the rat.

So, I went looking for a male employee.

One I could flirt with and get him to do my bidding.

I had him totally convinced to let me hold this sucker and videotape me.

Then, I went to turn on my Flip....and it was DEAD.

So, I raced to the counter to buy batteries.

I get back and get told that the mean ol' manager(bitter jealous woman) would NOT allow me to videotape anything. Liability or some such nonsense.

I asked if I could just hold it because I wanted to buy it.

And gave him a wink.

Mean Ol' Manager yells from the next aisle that "No animals are to be allowed out of their cages."

She is costing me my immunity and my bling. Grrr....

Can't I just stick my hand in the goldfish tank? There's a lot of them and that's slimy...after all, I need to do this challenge.

But, that lady was watching me like a hawk. So, we left.

Off to pick up my other two boys....from Grandma....near another pet store.

This time, I have my eye on this freaky white snake with red eyes.....

And again, get shot down. It's the video camera that does it, I think. I could have had Monkey try to do the video for me, but he'd probably decide to aim it somewhere else and then I would have held a snake for no reason. *Shivers*

So, then we get home and go on the beach. 

I find some tiny little bug and let it crawl on my hand, thinking that at least I'll have something to post.

But, then, my darling youngest son finds a crab.

A creepy looking crab.

So, I grab his sand shovel and video the crab hanging out on my foot.

I think my boys completely tramautized it with all their screaming when they found it....I made the back away for the video though. Didn't want to risk them getting clawed.

So, here's my five seconds of yuckiness.