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Monday, April 26, 2010

Project Runway's Laura Bennett Shares Her Secrets of Survival

Thanks to all of you- Mason Samuel made the top 50in the Baby Idol Contest! To vote, go HERE . His picture is in the fourth row from the bottom, on the right-hand side. Click the circle beneath his pic to vote. Thank you all so much!


I've never had a guest poster before. I think I like to talk too much to give my blog over to someone for the day.

So, who could make me make an exception?

The fabulous Laura Bennett, from Season  3 of Project Runway. I'm such a Project Runway fan and was constantly amazed by Laura when she was on the show, since she was pregnant with baby #6 while competing on the show. And she just kept right on competing, looking glamorous and producing one fabulous design after another.

I sat at home, enormously pregnant, in my sweats, and envied her.

I had the opportunity to review her book, Didn't I Feed You Yesterday? and to email with her. Yes, I squealed like an excited little girl.

The link for the giveaway is at the top of my blog, giving you a chance to win an autographed copy. Trust me, you want to read this book!

But, for now, I leave you a guest post by Laura Bennett.



Secrets of Survival

Motherhood is the hardest job in the world. Period. There is no CEO in this world required to handle the kind of multitasking it takes to change a diaper, build a sugar cube pyramid, and assist with algebra, all while trying to make a dinner magically appear out of a brick of frozen hamburger meat. When things get overwhelming, some moms turn to the bottle, not the one with the teddy bears on it. They swear by the three-martini playdate, or the sippy cup of Chardonnay, but as a mother of six I would never be sober, so I have my own little tricks to get me through.

After thirty years of smoking three packs a day, my husband wisely decided to quit smoking. He endured two weeks of cold turkey, but I sensed he was faltering and bought him some nicotine gum. Having never been a smoker myself, I didn’t understand the draw or fascination of cigarettes, until I tried a piece of his Cinnamon Surge 2mg coated Nicotine gum. It was like ambrosia from the gods. I suddenly realized that nicotine is the most amazing legal substance of the twentieth century. I pop a piece and I can feel a soothing calm cover me like a cashmere coat. Just one chew and suddenly that new Twombly-like scribble of crayon on my freshly painted dining room wall looks like art.

I live in an open plan loft, as you can imagine, finding space to get away around here can prove challenging. When I need a moment to recoup, I hide in that fallback safe haven, the bathroom. What’s not to love about a room designed for one that has a locking door? And who can possibly argue with the reply, “Not now, I’m on the toilet?” The time I spend hiding will have to be paid back two-fold when I see the mess made by my treacherous tribe during my time out. But sometimes you just have to live in the moment.

Rotten teeth may seem like a draw back to some, but if things get too overwhelming, my next trick is to schedule myself a dentist appointment. This may seem extreme, but to me there is nothing like a root canal to secure some guilt-free me time. One medicated hour in the chair with no one wearing a leaky diaper in my lap can be pure bliss, and as a special bonus, I get to leave with a Vicodin prescription.

When all these tricks fail, and the domestic chaos gets too great to handle, I have the ultimate weapon. I sit down, close my eyes and remember how fast it all goes by. A screaming toddler demanding Barney can be overwhelming, but before you know it, he will be packing for college. Remembering this usually provides me with all patience and humor I need to make it thorough. And it has a lot less calories than a double Tangueray Martini up with olives.

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Blogger Aphrodite's Mortal Friend (ME) said...

Well put ... love the last paragraph ... although, I have to say time in the dentist chair (alone or not) makes me want to cringe!! ;-)

April 26, 2010 at 7:13 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

This is the second reference in a month that I have heard of a root canal as "Free Time"...I can't agree. I'd take the chaos of children any day over a root canal.

Awesome guest post Shell. Thanks Laura Bennett.

April 26, 2010 at 7:39 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

I agree about the whole dentist thing and having an hour to yourself. I actually feel that way about the OBGYN too.

April 26, 2010 at 7:51 AM  
Blogger magically ordinary said...

A couple of years ago, I totally would have agreed about alone time but, my kids are all in school now... A few weeks in to summer vacation I will make my dentist appointment for a little along time, I am certain!

How exciting to have Laura Bennett as a guest blogger! So fun! I love her snarky fabulous way!

April 26, 2010 at 8:25 AM  
Blogger singedwingangel said...

Ummm I won't go to a dentist for free time lol. I loathe denists... eeekkkmuc more then dealing with motherhood drama..

April 26, 2010 at 9:08 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

This was hilarious. I basically have tons of free time right now, but when kids come, you can bet I'll be doing all of the above and then some. Also sadly, I used to use the hiding in the bathroom to get away from my GROWN employees... and had to still actually use the line "I am on the toilet!!!!"

April 26, 2010 at 9:23 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Wow what a great guest post.. You go all out..

Have an amazing week..

April 26, 2010 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger Domesticated-Bliss said...

This is a great guest post! I loved Laura on Project Runway too! Glad to see she's still out there :)

April 26, 2010 at 10:10 AM  
Blogger Brittney said...

wow what an amazing guest post! Cool! However, Ill pass on the root canal haha!!

April 26, 2010 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

I don't think I'd pick the dentist's chair! I'd have to find some other alternative. Lol. :) Great post, thanks for featuring her.

April 26, 2010 at 11:25 AM  
Blogger The Empress said...

OMG, do I know what you're talking about! Yes, when you look forward to root canals cuz it's me time.

'nuff said.

Hilarious and right-on!

April 26, 2010 at 11:58 AM  
Blogger Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

Well put...so right on!

April 26, 2010 at 12:30 PM  
Blogger Krissy said...

Laura's designs were fabulous on the show!

My husband always asks why i lock the bathroom door... Because its "ME" time. If I didnt I have kids sitting on my lap while trying to pee!

April 26, 2010 at 12:43 PM  
Blogger Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

That's a fun guest post!

I hope your move is going smoothly. You can do it!

April 26, 2010 at 12:53 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

How is moving stuff going? Thinking of you!

Loved this guest post....all of it so true and so easy to relate to. Going to share it on Twitter!

April 26, 2010 at 1:38 PM  
Blogger Busted Kate said...

WOW! Congrats on landing an amazing guest post!! Way to go!

And love you Laura, you were great on the show, and I can't wait to pick up your book.

April 26, 2010 at 2:08 PM  
Blogger Samantha said...

Love this post :) You have the coolest guest poster ever!

April 26, 2010 at 2:20 PM  
Blogger Daisygirl said...

I love her even more now! I was son in awe that she was still wearing fabulous clothes and heels while mega preggos!

It's true soon all our babies will be packing for College...then what? What the crap am I going to do when my kids are no longer my everyday? Seriously I am going to have to think about this!

April 26, 2010 at 2:28 PM  
Blogger Mommy Lisa said...

Ewww. Nicotine Gum? But I love the last paragraph...it is all too real as I watch my step-kids grow taller then the rest of us....

April 26, 2010 at 2:39 PM  
Blogger Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I agree on the last paragraph- perfect!

April 26, 2010 at 3:16 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I really loved this guest post. I would totally make a dentist appointment just for some free time.

April 26, 2010 at 3:38 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

root canal= free time. Yikes!

I do totally agree with the nicotine gum. I use to smoke and there are still times I wanna go buy some of that expensive gum!

April 26, 2010 at 3:40 PM  
Blogger Ms Bibi said...

What a great guest post. I really enjoyed it and the secret to low calorie Tanqueray coctail is sugar free Tonic I recently discovered, lol.

April 26, 2010 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger Melinda said...

Love Project Runway! My husband doesn't get it all. He rolls his eyes and flees the room immediately every time I'm watching it. But that's okay. He's cute, but he just doesn't have good taste. He can't have it all, right?

Loved the guest post. Yes, I remember those days with little ones where I would literally lock the bathroom for a few minutes of sanity. But that didn't keep them from banging on the door! ;0)

Still, in 5 years my oldest will be gone and I know it's gonna fly.

Heading off to FB now to 'Like' you. I already like you, but I'm just making it official. ;0)

April 26, 2010 at 5:07 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

What a great guest post!

Congrats to Mason for making top 50, now lets vote him to the finals

April 26, 2010 at 7:40 PM  
Blogger Angelia said...

It's true, it all goes by way to fast! My oldest will be 16 soon. It's so crazy how fast the years have gone!

BTW...I LOVE Project Runway!! I watch rerun marathons on Sundays all the time!

April 26, 2010 at 8:41 PM  
Blogger Momma V said...

Happy Monday!

I tagged you in my blog! Check it out :-)


April 26, 2010 at 8:58 PM  
Blogger Alexis AKA MOM said...

I freaking love her!!! I've been meaning to read her book :)

April 29, 2010 at 12:31 AM  

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