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Friday, October 22, 2010

Blog Friend Feature: Things She Couldn't Say on Her Own Blog

I get a little homesick everytime that I visit the blog of this week's Blog Friend Feature. Because her header is a view of my hometown!

Joey, from Big Teeth & Clouds, is very sweet. She blogs about kids with hearing loss(her daughter is one), her husband, living near Pittsburgh, and anything else that crosses her mind. Well, almost anything...

I love how she took the opportunity to say the things that she can't say on her own blog over here on mine!

My blog, Big Teeth & Clouds, is completely family friendly while being non-offensive to my husband, mother-in-law, pastor, and neighbors. Some posts are touching. Some are funny. It’s unbelievable with all of those filters that I can still manage humor. I can, but some of the best stories never see the light of day.

So, it is only here you will ever read about: Big douche bag and the piñata.

On a gorgeous fall day in October, my family went to a neighborhood hay ride. To call it just a hay ride is to completely understate the scope of the event. There were pony rides, an extensive petting zoo, mountains of food, and a piñata.

My daughter, Julia, and I petted and fed goats for more than an hour. Then our hosts diverted the collective attention of about 35 children by shouting, “let’s do the piñata!”

A swarming crowd of younglings formed under the cute pumpkin piñata. These kids ranged in age from 1 ½ to 12 years of age. Bags were passed around and giant kids pushed their way to the front.

I interjected that perhaps a shortest to tallest protocol should be initiated. I attempted to organize the crowd.

Cute little toddlers walked up and swung for the fences. The pumpkin stayed steady, unaffected. The parents cheered for their little ones. The bat was twice as tall as the little darlings.

Then, apparently annoyed by the amount of time all of this sportsmanship was taking, a man to my left said, “get in there Cryin’”.

The boy’s name isn’t really “Cryin’” but in addition to being a holy terror, he once spent 45 minutes at my kitchen table doing just that. It’s an apt name change, as is my re-naming his father “big douche bag”.

So big douche bag shoves Cryin’ to the front of the line. This is approximately 12-15 places ahead of his actual turn for hitting the piñata. There are no blindfolds involved yet. The thing is stationary. Seven-year-old Cryin’ knows his way around a bat.

Cryin’ moves back and steps into his swing. The bat strikes true, right in the center of poor pumpkin piñata. The crowd gasps as candy drops straight down in a debris pattern no bigger than the pumpkin’s original circumference.

35 children lunged into a heaving mass to retrieve sweet tarts and glow bracelets. All but a few of the tiniest tots have been denied the pleasure of taking a whack. Big douche bag is laughing, “I didn’t know he had that in him!”

Bullshit you didn’t, BDB.

Candy can cure any kid’s piñata-related slight and we were able to make sure each child got some. But, who does that? What grown-up sends their kid scrambling over a bunch of babies like that?

A big douche bag, that’s who.

Please leave Joey some comment love here and then go follow her blog if you don't already!

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Blogger Sara said...

Ugh. Hopefully that kid won't grow up to be his father. What a great new blog to follow!!!

October 22, 2010 at 12:58 AM  
Blogger The Blue Zoo said...

Geez. Rude parents SUCK!

October 22, 2010 at 2:14 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

Makes you wonder sometimes...I have never heard of Joey's blog...going over to say hi. Thanks for sharing Shell!

October 22, 2010 at 2:31 AM  
Blogger Melissa (Confessions of a Dr. Mom) said...

Oh Joey! I quite like seeing this side of you over here. I bet it felt good to tell that story without having to hold back.

Great BFF Shell!

October 22, 2010 at 3:07 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

He's probably one of those parents you don't want to have at kids sporting events either, huh?

Just makes you want to avoid any social gatherings where they are present. Hope he's not family. ;-)

I have a few family I'd like to avoid too though.

October 22, 2010 at 5:38 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

Same kind of douche bag who will take candy from a baby

October 22, 2010 at 7:03 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

OY! I find people (READ:MEN) like that particularly irritating. Do you think it is because I'm single??? We've got a football coach right now who's a little obnoxious like that and my son is the apple of his eye... he does nothing but praise my kid and still, it's just over the top... Step Off a Bit Buddy! It's flag football! It's supposed to be a fun-everyone gets a turn type experience- Sheesh!

October 22, 2010 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

I have a feeling this guy is going to give me stories like this all of the time. Perhaps another blog? Big D-Bag and the Pinata has a ring to it, no?

Thanks so much for hosting me as your BFF Shell!

October 22, 2010 at 7:37 AM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

Pinatas and little ones is always interesting. I am hitting over to check out her blog.

October 22, 2010 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

That guy is a total douche. I hate parents like that. He just had to go and spoil the little kids' fun! Great story Joey!

October 22, 2010 at 8:21 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Ooh, you should have said to BDB, "You wanna see what I have in me??" What a jackass!

October 22, 2010 at 8:29 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Oh, I love Joey!

October 22, 2010 at 9:24 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I think the poor kids who didn't get a turn shoulda got to hit BDB with the bat!!!
(Maybe you could start a secret alias blog for these types of stories too!)
Headed over now to check out your blog.

October 22, 2010 at 9:27 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I was just talking with another blogger about creating some kind of forum for bloggers who have to write through husband and MIL filters. Wish I was tech savvy enough to create something like that ...

Nice to "meet" you Joey!

October 22, 2010 at 9:47 AM  
Blogger Heidi said...

Oh good grief, D.B. indeed!! What a great story-teller she is!

I totally almost made my BFF post one that I couldn't normally post on my own as well! Loved it!


October 22, 2010 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger Just Another Mom of 2 said...

Oh, some people are just so obnoxious!! Excited to check out your blog!

October 22, 2010 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger Amethyst Moon said...

love it!

October 22, 2010 at 11:05 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

what a douche! totally believe it though ...

thanks for introducing Shell ... going to follow Joey now!

October 22, 2010 at 11:14 AM  
Blogger DaisyGal said...

I hate to say this, for fear of what you will think of me, but those are the kinds of parents, I want to hit with a bat...

DB!!!!! for sure.

glad you found a place to tell that story, if only to be a very good warning to other parents. :)

October 22, 2010 at 11:25 AM  
Blogger TV's Take said...

Joey has a great blog! Congrats on the feature. Now following you

October 22, 2010 at 11:42 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Congrats on the feature Joey! Great selection Shell ;)

October 22, 2010 at 1:42 PM  
Blogger Jessica B said...

What a jerk. Can't stand people like that. Unfortunately, he's teaching his kid to be the exact same way...

October 22, 2010 at 3:03 PM  
Blogger blueviolet said...

Sounds like it's a little douche bag in the making....

I LOVE Joey! I'm glad you featured her!

October 22, 2010 at 3:10 PM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

I am so not lookng forward to dealing with parents as mine get older. The ones I deal with now are do able, BDBs in the future probably won't be!

October 22, 2010 at 3:13 PM  
OpenID deepintheheartoftexas2 said...

Congrats on being featured Joey!
Parents like that make me ill.

October 22, 2010 at 3:37 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...

Wow. I make it a point to not regularly use the word "douche" but it absolutely, a thousand percent fits here. He's a complete and total douche. I wish someone would've hit HIM with a bat.

October 22, 2010 at 4:04 PM  
Blogger amelie522 said...

Douchebag parents are the WORST, and the poor kids are the ones that suffer. I've come across my fair share of them, as they seem to gravitate towards my city. Great story! And even better retelling of it :)

October 22, 2010 at 4:32 PM  
Blogger natalee said...

Joey is soooo funny... im following her now!!!!!!

October 22, 2010 at 6:38 PM  
Blogger Foursons said...

Oh, parents like that really get my goat! I always make my son bat last even if there are older kids batting because he WILL break the pinata. What a jerk. And for the record, my kids do not accept candy as a suitable alternative to not getting to take a swing or two at the pinata.

October 22, 2010 at 9:27 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

Rude adults raise children to be rude who then become rude adults who raise rude children! What a turd.

October 22, 2010 at 9:32 PM  
Blogger Venassa said...

Wow he is a douchebag. At least he didn't try to steal the candy from all the younger ones, too.

October 22, 2010 at 10:09 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

I love Joey, she is a wonderful BFF. Whoever follows her will be rewarded with an interesting post everyday.

She is easy to read, and just as easy to like.

Great pick, and great posts, every time she writes. And it's always something different.

October 23, 2010 at 2:02 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

Love your BFFs!!!
This kid, the poor child. BDB? Well, that's a new acronym for me. It's fitting for this ass.
Glad you found a space to talk about him ;)

October 24, 2010 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger cornflakegirl74 said...

This week's BFF is truly wonderful--and she did a great job!

Ugh. What a d-bag is right. This is one of those stories that kind of makes me lose a bit of faith in the human race. Not for long, but it's the kind of thing I hate hearing about. Oh well. At least it makes for an entertaining read :)

October 24, 2010 at 9:46 PM  
Blogger Daffy said...

Big Douche Bag's nutsack should be the pinata next time....ugh...I hate guys like that.

October 24, 2010 at 11:02 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Unfortunately, dads like that just get bigger and douche-ier as the child grows and starts playing sports.

October 25, 2010 at 12:22 PM  

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