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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Pour Your Heart Out: I'm Just Me

Welcome to Pour Your Heart Out- if you need more info on how to participate, check out THIS post. But it's personal- it's what YOU think is pouring your heart out. Please grab the PYHO button or link back in your post if you are participating.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)


Sometimes people get the wrong idea about who I am. I am not sure exactly where they get their ideas from. But, I guess we're all guilty of making assumptions about someone based on one small thing instead of the bigger picture.

Usually it's in a flattering way: people who think that I'm capable of doing much more than I actually can. Or who think that I somehow manage to do it all. I don't... and not by a long shot.

Sometimes it's in a not so flattering way, but it's my blog and I don't feel like addressing those certain people. So I'm choosing not to. My blog, my rules. Yes, I love that about blogging. 

I can't do it all and I don't quite know what to do about the unrealistic expectations that are sometimes put on me.

Because I'm just me.

I'm silly.

I get cranky when I'm tired or hungry.

I don't have much tolerance for mean people.

I get hurt by rude things that are said.

I'm fiercely loyal.

I want to believe the best in people.

I'm devastated when someone betrays me.

I'm quiet until you get to know me.

I like wine and fruity drinks.

I sometimes say things I shouldn't after having a few too many of those drinks.

I cry easily.

I get hurt easily.

I can be quite skeptical.

I believe in miracles.

I can be a total contradiction.

I need quiet sometimes.

I need a friend to be there for me.

I wish I could do better at almost everything.

I am an awful dancer.

I suck at keeping up with housework.

I love books.

I love naps.

I don't know what I'm doing most of the time.

I always make a weird face when I get my picture taken.

I live in flip flops.

I say I don't care sometimes, just to protect myself.

I laugh when I want to cry.

I miss home, even though I'm not really sure where that is.

I love my boys.  I love my husband. I love God.

I'm just me.

And all I can do is the best that I can.

I know that's disappointing to some people sometimes.

But, I don't know how to be anything other than just me.

Several of you suggested I link this up to Just Be Enough. So, I'm taking your advice!



Blogger Kristen said...

I really do believe you are my long lost sister Word for Word - I hear you.

September 7, 2011 at 7:11 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

Change a few words(flip-flops to sandals type of things), and you described me.

It's funny, I think in our desires to be better than we are, we often looking to put others up on pedestals for role models or... cutting them down to the underworld, so we aren't reminded of our own week spots.

In our fight to be individuals we forget we have many, many equals. Not the same, not carbon copies, but equals.

September 7, 2011 at 7:12 AM  
Blogger Ashley - My Front Porch Swing said...

You are so much more than you think you are my dear. I wish you could see that. I'm not sure what wavelength hit us at the same time this week but girl, I'm damn lucky to know you.

You? rock. xoxo

September 7, 2011 at 7:16 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

I hate that people are disappointed and feel the need to show it when someone who is a good person is just being themselves!

I needed to read this this morning... a great reminder in the middle of a totally overwhelming week!

September 7, 2011 at 7:17 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Why is the hardest thing to own is "being yourself".

So hard, but so necessary to be happy.

September 7, 2011 at 7:20 AM  
Blogger Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

I'm never disappointed by you.

I am a shit dancer too...I may never watch my wedding video again.

Have a wonderful day, my friend!

September 7, 2011 at 7:32 AM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

I don't think we all would love you if you tried being who you are not.

September 7, 2011 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

Well, you know I love ya!!

I really identified with the "I miss home, though I'm not sure where that is."

I go through that very same thing!! Maybe that's why I always want to move?

September 7, 2011 at 7:44 AM  
Blogger angela said...

I love your list. So, so much. All of those qualities are amazing, and even if you can't do EVERYTHING, you've shown that you do what you do with love and joy, and that's more important.

Would you consider linking this up with http://www.justbeenough.com/focus-on-strengths/ ?
The link is open until the end of today, and for every 20 links, Bellflower Books donates a memory book to a woman with breast cancer. I think your post embodies the spirit of the site, perfectly.

September 7, 2011 at 7:49 AM  
Blogger My New Normal said...

You can never please everyone, so it's most important to please yourself. Ok, that sounds a bit naughty, but you know what I mean right??

: )

September 7, 2011 at 7:58 AM  
Blogger NotSoSilentMommy said...

I love this list Shell..
I like many others feel like I could have written this myself...
We women are funny creatures...
Obviously because of who you are, you have many, many people who love you!!
Don't ever change for anyone!!

September 7, 2011 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

and you are an amazing person, mother and wife!

September 7, 2011 at 8:03 AM  
Anonymous molly said...

Shell, I think you might be one of my fave people in the blog world right now.

We are so alike in so many ways. Except for that dancing part. I am an excellent dancer ;)

September 7, 2011 at 8:08 AM  
Blogger vinobaby said...

What a complex, big-hearted, and beautiful woman you are, Shell. That's quite a list (and seriously, I could take all of the items but one about me and I would be completely truthful) but I'd bet you are a whole lot more than just some words on a webpage.

Love it--thanks for sharing.

September 7, 2011 at 8:20 AM  
Blogger Krista @ Not Mommy of the Year said...

I think you're amazing. And you're more than the sum of all those things up there. And that you deserve every single bit of credit you get. And that people who think anything less than nice about you do not deserve an ounce of your time or attention.

September 7, 2011 at 8:29 AM  
Blogger Anastasia said...

I tell strangers how much I love them when I've had too many drinks. I decide the bartender is my new bestie and tell them how freaking awesome they are, loudly.

I live in yoga pants. And people don't even assume that I can do everything, they assume the opposite.

Knowing and embracing the things that you know are you is so important and helps you stay grounded. Great post.

September 7, 2011 at 8:29 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

I think this happens to all of us sometimes. I sometimes think I'm capable of more than I am, and when that happens, things don't usually end so good.

September 7, 2011 at 8:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think people who are honest about who they are, are the most genuine authentic kind of people. And I think that resonates with a lot of folks. It takes courage to put yourself out there, to be a genuine sort of person, which is why I think you often get a lot of admiration from your readers:) Thanks for having the courage to share and help us do the same!

September 7, 2011 at 8:29 AM  
Blogger Dawna said...

I love this post, Shell, and can relate to SO much you shared!

I also love the saying "be yourself because everyone else is taken". It's funny, though, how difficult it can be, sometimes, to do that very thing.

Have a GREAT Hump Day!

September 7, 2011 at 8:34 AM  
Blogger Tara R. said...

I think this is wonderful! I also love your statement about it being 'your blog, your rules.' Amen!

Just keep being you!

September 7, 2011 at 8:36 AM  
Blogger Missy said...

That's kind of what I wrote about today too! We must have communicated telepathically. Or, now that summer is over and we are getting a slight breather again, we have time to stop and think about OURSELVES for a MINUTE!

Anyway, here's my doe-eyed, innocent comment about people who are rude to you on your blog. I can't imagine. Seriously. There ARE some posts I read elsewhere where I think to myself, "what IS this person thinking?" But you? Never. I honestly can't imagine why someone would slam you on here.

And when I get my first mean comment, I'll email you and ask you to hold me. Because I get hurt too. :)

September 7, 2011 at 8:48 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

You are awesome just the way you are!

Let's not discuss housework, k? Perhaps we should have some fruity drinks and say screw housework?

September 7, 2011 at 8:54 AM  
Anonymous Denise said...

Just you is all we need. I think you are totally fab. Reading this I see a lot of myself. Isn't it interesting how I can feel whole-heartedly that YOU are enough but still expect more from myself? Guess that is where the "I wish I could do better at almost everything." part comes in :)

September 7, 2011 at 8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are quite a few of those that I could have written myself. Like this one: "I'm quiet until you get to know me." Very, very true. And some that are not me ("I am an awful dancer." ) but because I spent a lot of time practicing (10+ years).

September 7, 2011 at 9:01 AM  
Blogger shellycoulter said...

Yep...that's all you can do, be yourself! Anyone who expects more is not someone you should care about their opinion. They certainly aren't perfect! I liked reading your views of yourself. The way you describe yourself makes me think we would be great friends in real life. :) Thanks for hosting this. :)

September 7, 2011 at 9:16 AM  
Blogger dosweatthesmallstuff said...

I am many of those things you've listed on your list too... Sometimes I don't even know which one's more true: what people say and think about me vs. what I view myself as. There were times when I felt I was so much more than what people thought I was. But there were also times when I felt, no, no way in hell was I as brave, as courageous, as brilliant, or as strong as what people thought. And we all know that we're too often guilty of judging ourselves harsher than we judge everybody else.

Linking up for the first time ever with your Pour Your Heart Out. Thanks for opening up this space where people like me could just vent out and let out some steam.

September 7, 2011 at 9:31 AM  
Blogger Cindi said...

Bruno Mars comes to mind as I read this and my thoughts are "You're amazing, just the way you are!"

Wish I could underline those words for ya'. (LoL)

Thank you for your honesty and, for just being you Shell!

And, to quote Bruno a little more ... we love you, just the way you are! :)

September 7, 2011 at 9:50 AM  
Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

The beauty of all this, Shell? You are enough as you are, good and (perceived bad). No one is perfect, no one should be or can be. That you know who you are, is fabulous. And yes, like Angela says, this is a perfect post to link up to our Be Enough Me Campaign for Cancer with Bellflower Books. Please do?

September 7, 2011 at 9:53 AM  
Blogger I'm Jennifer. said...

"Just you" sounds like the perfect person, mom and friend. I think I'm guilty of projecting a Supermom persona...and if I ever listed all the things that I really am, I bet people close to me would be surprised.
Wonderful post, and thanks for this linky. It brings out the only heartfelt posts on my blog. Mwah!

September 7, 2011 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

It's hard when we question ourselves because we think we're not good enough. But when some one else makes us question ourselves, that's another story.
Not everyone is going to like you and when those rude people try to tell you who are, then they are just jealous.
I think you are a fabulous person. You're a fierce mother, caring friend, wonderful writer, awesome blogger and all around fun gal! Wish I knew you in real life. You keep it real.
Love ya Shell!

September 7, 2011 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger Amanda @ It's Blogworthy said...

I hate having to make excuses for things I do, or how I am. I'm emotional. I get stressed easily. It makes me crazy trying to, oh, not cry at work and sometimes I do and then feel bad about it. I need to not make those excuses. This was a great reminder!

September 7, 2011 at 10:18 AM  
Anonymous Mandi @ My Perfect Mess said...

It's like people get a little glimpse through our blogs and think we have it altogether (referring to most bloggers here). I know I'm guilty of the same thing.

September 7, 2011 at 10:23 AM  
Blogger Mungee's Ma said...

"I know that's disappointing to some people sometimes."

How? How? I just don't understand. Keep on being you ... I feel like you're a role model and someone who is genuinely concerned about others. I like you just as you are :)

September 7, 2011 at 10:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that you are you. That's why when I recently copped my blog feed down you stayed...because the realness of who you are makes me feel more okay with the realness of who I am. Thank you! ~Jessica

September 7, 2011 at 10:59 AM  
Blogger Kristina P. said...

And that is why you have so many blog followers!

September 7, 2011 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Courtney K. said...

The more I read your blog the more I realize how similar we really are. I give you props for not addressing the naysayers and the negative comments. You're above that, despite how hurtful they can be. Hugs!!

September 7, 2011 at 11:21 AM  
Blogger MrsJenB said...

You're so much more than the sum of your parts. I'm glad you took the time to list your qualities and quirks. You can't be more than you are, but no one who knows and cares about you would want you to be. To the ones who matter you're more than enough.

I was going to ask you to link up with JBE but I see you already did. :) I'm glad!

September 7, 2011 at 11:22 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I think just you is just right.

September 7, 2011 at 11:24 AM  
Blogger Kristin @ What She Said said...

I think you are every woman. (If that makes any sense). And that's OK. We're all OK, just as we are. :)

That picture cracked me up.

September 7, 2011 at 11:33 AM  
Blogger Kim @ Mamas Monologues said...

The more I read you the more I see that we are so much alike. I don't like feeling like I have to make excuses for who I am. I'm just me. And that's all I can be.

This is a great list! You are a wonderful person and you shouldn't ever forget that!

September 7, 2011 at 11:36 AM  
Blogger diane rene said...

I have a very similar post sitting in my drafts right now ... I love this! it's okay to be us :0)

September 7, 2011 at 12:04 PM  
Anonymous Blue Cotton Memory said...

What a honest, real list! My boys don't understand that my heart hurts, my spirit bleeds over life sometimes. Just like your list - we have hearts that bruise.

BTW - what you said about taking pictures reminded me of one of my sons. Remember Chandler from friends who always looked like he was sucking lemons in photos - well, one of my sons does that! LOL I have to photo him when he's not looking!!! LOL!

September 7, 2011 at 12:19 PM  
Blogger Jenny said...

Such a great post because I am feeling that way today...I have to be enough because I just can't give anymore sometimes.

We moms need a break sometimes!

The pic of you and your hubs is so cute...and WOW your boys look exactly like Daddy!

September 7, 2011 at 12:19 PM  
Blogger Helene said...

We are very similar creatures!!

As long as we accept ourselves for who we are and we love ourselves, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!

But then again, it's easier said than done sometimes.

September 7, 2011 at 12:20 PM  
Blogger RoryBore said...

I think that is why you are by far the most loved blogger....you are so true to YOU, so real, and so accessible. no one ever feels "less" after visiting your site. rather, we always feel more connected, stronger, and just - better, for having lingered here.

(ok, that sounded like total *ss kissing -- but I didn't mean it that way. I just think that when someone has touched your life, even if "virtually", you should let them know. I believe everyone should know that their life has value and purpose.)

September 7, 2011 at 12:20 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

And being just you---is awesome! :)

September 7, 2011 at 12:27 PM  
Blogger Mom of 12 said...

You are an amazing person, Shell! So glad to be your blog friend.

September 7, 2011 at 12:36 PM  
Blogger Andrea (ace1028) said...

I love this list and I love you for being Just You. Because who you are is enough for me. :) You rock, mama!

September 7, 2011 at 12:57 PM  
Blogger KSK said...

I love this list -- and can relate to a lot on it!!!

September 7, 2011 at 1:15 PM  
Blogger KSK said...

I love this list -- and can relate to a lot on it!!!

September 7, 2011 at 1:15 PM  
Blogger Stasha said...

I will now be singing, "I believe in miracles! Since you came along! You sexy thang!"

Hee hee!

Seriously though, I can relate to your list. I think a lot of us can. That's why we all love you so much!

September 7, 2011 at 1:33 PM  
Blogger Samantha said...

Kinda sounds like me. Especially the loyal part...I think that's what gets me hurt most of the time...but I do get overwhelmed a lot and I think that's because I just take on so much because people think I'm a Super Woman. I'm not....I'm just like everybody else and I wish I didn't allow myself to take on so much.

I understand this post fully.

September 7, 2011 at 1:37 PM  
Blogger Charlotte said...

Awww, I love this post, Shell. From what I've come to know about you over the course of following you here, I have always thought you were honest with yourself and true to your readers... and sweet, caring, and sensitive to boot. Always stay true to number one and hold on to those who nurture your interests and foster your talents.


Great post, dear :) One of my fav's I've ever read from you.

September 7, 2011 at 1:44 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

When people are really honest a d let down their walls I think this is all of us. We are all just imperfect people trying to make it the best we know how. Imperfections and all, I still think you are amazing.

September 7, 2011 at 1:45 PM  
Anonymous tracy@sellabitmum said...

Now if you would just stop wearing those damn flip flops...ugh. Love you. xoxo

September 7, 2011 at 1:54 PM  
Blogger Mama Zen said...

In my case, the person with unrealistic expectations is usually me!

September 7, 2011 at 2:28 PM  
Blogger Rach (DonutsMama) said...

And you are wonderful just the way you are. Forget those people who don't get it. Because really, they have no idea what they're doing either and who says they're right??

September 7, 2011 at 3:05 PM  
Blogger The Mommy Therapy said...

Excellent post. We all need to embrace who we are more.

I so relate to the missing home, but not really sure about what that means anymore. I feel like that all the time.

Thanks for sharing!

September 7, 2011 at 3:10 PM  
Blogger Elena @CiaoMom said...

Love this--- and so glad you are embracing you! And thank you so much for linking up with Just.Be.Enough!

September 7, 2011 at 3:28 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

It's impossible to make everyone happy. As long as you are happy with who you are, that's all that's important. You are awesome just the way you are!

September 7, 2011 at 4:01 PM  
Blogger Di said...

I totally understand you on this lidt and who you are. I am all those things too and I stopped caring awhile ago if it made other people happy because I knew I couldn't be any more or any less than who I am.

September 7, 2011 at 4:03 PM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

That is possibly my favorite ever photo of you.

September 7, 2011 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger my3littlebirds said...

I saw myself in so many items on that list...isn't it funny how that works with bloggers? We often feel so alone in our experiences, quirks, and perspectives...until we start reading other bloggers' words.

September 7, 2011 at 4:36 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

You have described me more than once in this post. I don't do flip flops though...it's a balance thing. I feel very off in them. But seriously, wish we lived close! haha.

September 7, 2011 at 4:51 PM  
Blogger Ma What's 4 dinner said...

I think you look great when you get your picture taken! :) You're pretty great in my book kid!

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner?

September 7, 2011 at 4:54 PM  
Blogger Hyacynth said...

I think we are all walking contradictions sometimes. :) I know I am for sure.
Thanks for this honest look into your life and into who you are.

September 7, 2011 at 5:49 PM  
Blogger Elaine A. said...

I love that this helped me get to know you even better. And I think being YOU is being PERFECT. xo

September 7, 2011 at 5:54 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

You? Are awesome.

And (don't tell Tracy@sellabitmum) I live in flip flops, too.

Plus, I cry FAR too often.

But maybe I should start believing I cry just the right amount.

Because we are enough, right?
Just the way we are.

Thanks for being you, girl; for letting us all feel okay being us.

(p.s. no need to reply to this comment. I know you have SO many people to get to and that it isn't POSSIBLE to do it all ;-)

September 7, 2011 at 5:59 PM  
Blogger Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

When I think about you, I think about all these things (well except the horrible dancer...I truly can picture you dancing and rocking it) means you are real on your blog and elsewhere and I LOVE THAT! I'm glad you don't try to be anything else.

September 7, 2011 at 8:48 PM  
Blogger Not a Perfect Mom said...

Just yes

September 7, 2011 at 9:25 PM  
Anonymous Kate F. (@katefineske) said...

I know you have a million comments on this one post. But let me just tell you... It. Is. AWESOME. Couldn't have said a line better. LOVED it.

September 7, 2011 at 10:20 PM  
Blogger JamieAnne of A Dash of Domestic said...

None of us are perfect. We're all just muddling through best we can.

I totally heart this post!

September 7, 2011 at 10:25 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Wonderful, Shell. I love your honesty, and the "you" IS awesome. wow, that sounds grammatically incorrect. Whatever, you know what I mean :)

September 7, 2011 at 10:26 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

I think that I could have writen this list about myself. I love your honesty.

September 7, 2011 at 10:55 PM  
Anonymous Kimberly said...

I love flip flops...
You are fabulous just the way you are ;) Don't forget that and don't let other people put you down because of who you are. The best kinds o people are the ones who are authentic to themselves...

September 8, 2011 at 12:02 AM  
Blogger Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

I loved this post! One of my very favorites. I think all of these things are why people love you so much--you're relatable! I don't get mean people. I would like to ban them from my life.

September 8, 2011 at 12:49 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Find it hard to believe that anybody would be disappointed in you, you are so sweet and thoughtful. But there ya have it: not everybody is nice all the time. And I have to say, many of your descriptions described me, and it made me realize that if we ever do meet, we'll probably be very monosyllabic until we get a few drinks into us...then again, that doesn't sound so bad :)

September 8, 2011 at 1:11 AM  
Anonymous Galit Breen said...

Oh you and your words and your heart- I LOVE this! Absolutely LOVE it! XO

September 8, 2011 at 1:34 AM  
Blogger Jessica {Team Rasler} said...

I am in awe of all that you do. I'm amazed that anyone would be disappointed. I wish I could let go of how easily my feelings get hurt. Maybe someday!

September 8, 2011 at 2:33 AM  
Blogger Hines-Sight said...

You always do such a good job with these posts.

September 8, 2011 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger The Blonde Duck said...

I'm an awful dancer but I still dance!

September 8, 2011 at 7:14 AM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

You and I are creepily similar. Nice post.

September 8, 2011 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger Kakunaa said...

Love this post...I feel...a kindred spirit sort of thing going on. *looks down at flip flops*

September 8, 2011 at 11:18 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

Being you is perfect! That is the Shell I love!

September 8, 2011 at 1:23 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

I think of you, and I think of the 3 honest authentic bloggers out there.

That say what they feel, and they stick to their values.

That's what I think of, when I think of you.

September 8, 2011 at 2:12 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I think you're a great you and I wouldn't worry about the naysayers. They just don't get it!!!

September 8, 2011 at 5:52 PM  
Anonymous Robin | Farewell, Stranger said...

This is awesome, Shell, and I love that you said what you wanted to say and ignored the rest.

Thanks for linking this one up with us on JBE!

September 9, 2011 at 12:44 PM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

Well, I've known you were just you for quite some time so brava!

You are amazing but none of us can do it all all the time!

September 9, 2011 at 1:47 PM  
Blogger Theresa said...


September 10, 2011 at 4:46 PM  

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