< Things I Can't Say: A Shove Down Memory Lane

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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Shove Down Memory Lane

I didn't think I would be writing today.

Like many of you, I thought I'd take a few days off for Christmas, getting things ready and spending time with family.

But, then, once again, I was shoved down memory lane.

No one called me Emmy this time, although I'm sure she had to make a concerted effort not to.

My old friend Dee(as in D is her first initial- you didn't think I'd actually use a name on here, did you?), sent me a Christmas card the other day.

I just adore her.

But, we have lost touch.

I met her because her husband was best friends with X.

And we became fast friends.

She was supposed to be matron of honor in the wedding-that-didn't-happen.

I tried on the wedding dress that didn't-otherwise-see-the-light-of-day with her.

When I was leaving X, which required a move far away, X, D, D's husband, and I went to lunch together shortly before I left.

D's husband opened the truck door for me afterwards, firmly shut the door to the truck and then he and D attacked X.

"If you let her leave, it will be the stupidest thing you've ever done. And that is saying a lot."

On and on they went.

Even to the point of telling him that they didn't know if they could be friends with him any more if he let me go.

They knew that I loved him with all my being.

But, that I was only leaving because it was too painful to stay. And that was his fault.

They wanted him to fix it.

For quite a while, we stayed in touch.

Because we would have been friends no matter how we met.

They even stopping spending much time with X, disgusted with him.

But, we tried to talk about everything except X.

It became the gigantic, 3 ton, 2-headed, fuchsia with lime green polka dots elephant in the room...who had bad gas...and was sitting on us.

Just way too obvious and painful.

So, we slowly lost touch, only a card here or there.

But, I did miss her.

And now, we're fb friends.

At least enough time as passed that I can look back on that time as bittersweet memories, instead of with any regret.

Because I love Hubs and my boys and wouldn't trade them for anything.

And, this time around, I'm packing an elephant gun.

Labels: ,

34 Comments:

Blogger Em said...

I'm so glad she sent you that card.

Perspective is an awesome thing.

Merriest of Christmases!!

December 23, 2009 at 8:53 AM  
Blogger ShellSpann said...

I'm glad you are back in touch with her. :)

December 23, 2009 at 8:59 AM  
Blogger The Manic Mommy said...

Getting cards or messages from old friends are great - i got one myself Monday. Especially through the holiday's - this obviously shows that D is missing you and your friendship and she still cares a lot for you. And it's good that now you can look back with no regrets! Never regret something you do - only grow and change. Have a great day!

December 23, 2009 at 9:00 AM  
Blogger Working Mommy said...

It is always great to get back in touch with someone! Damn fb for keeping me (un)productive during my work days, but yay for making new-old connections! There is a reason why you took the path you did...don't ever regret it!

~WM

December 23, 2009 at 9:11 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

While a lot about the holidays leaves me in a bad mood or angry at someone, the cards that I get, that show that someone out there cares and remembers, always make me feel better.

I'm glad she sent you a card.

December 23, 2009 at 9:12 AM  
Blogger Christie-The ChatterBox said...

Aw how touching! What great friends you have and glad that you and your friend re-connected. That's a great story. Stopping by from SITS

December 23, 2009 at 9:27 AM  
Blogger Heidi said...

It's amazing to see where life takes you simply by way of the people you meet, isn't it? When you're in the midst of a trial, wouldn't it be so nice to get a little glimpse of what's to come to help you through the rough stuff? That's sure true for me.

December 23, 2009 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger The Princess of Sarcasm said...

I LOVE Christmas cards! (But only the ones with pictures or cheesy letters...especially the prince's aunt's letter that spills all her family drama...I pop popcorn to read that one.)

Isn't it amazing how things sometimes work out much better? I was broken hearted over a breakup in college. I thought we would be together forever. I still feel fondlly towards him. We managed to be friendly after a few months, but I am SOOOOO glad I met my prince. He is truly my soul mate. I love him more and more as the years march on.

December 23, 2009 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Heather @ Two Little Monkeys said...

Glad you could re-connect with her.

December 23, 2009 at 9:41 AM  
Blogger gina said...

Makes me think of that Garth Brooks song- Unanswered Prayers - Love it! Everything works out for a reason. enjoy being in touch with your friends again!

December 23, 2009 at 9:53 AM  
Blogger PaleMother said...

It's a bummer how people come and go out of your life. By the time you are my age, you see that the ones that last are really exceptional. Some folks you outgrow. Some you are truly better off without. Some it just wasn't meant to be. But there are those few that drop out and you will always feel some loss.

Adressing Christmas cards is all about these kinds of connections for me ... there are a dozen or two in our stack every year where I wonder if I should still be sending them, I wonder why I am sending them ... when the connection is pretty obviously past.

December 23, 2009 at 10:02 AM  
Blogger Tami G said...

I love this story and that's just one more reason why I love FB. People think I'm crazy - but I can't tell you how many people I have gotten back in touch with via facebook. Time marches on.....
and I truly truly TRULY believe that EVERYONE is in your life for a REASON....no matter if you see them every day or talk to them on FB - or they just remind you of a time in your life that has long since passed....
EVERYONE is there for a reason!

Love the story
and wishing you a VERY MERRY Christmas :)

December 23, 2009 at 11:29 AM  
Blogger Yankee Girl said...

That is so nice that you have reconnected. Some friends you simply must keep forever, no matter the circumstances or distance.

December 23, 2009 at 11:49 AM  
Blogger Steven Anthony said...

friends really do make the world go round, Im happy for you, what a nice gift for the holiday;)

December 23, 2009 at 12:13 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

Isn't it weird how things like that make us think and remember things.

December 23, 2009 at 12:15 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Isn't facebook the best? I love just being able to check up on people without actually having to be in their presence, just to make sure that they are okay.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, sitsta!

December 23, 2009 at 12:51 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I'm glad you guys got back in touch. I hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas!

I'm able to comment on some blogs on the bb...not yours though. :(
Not sure why it is like that...thought it was a word verification thing but it's not that.

December 23, 2009 at 1:15 PM  
Blogger T.J. said...

It's so amazing what a little bit of time and change of perspective will do- if only we could know in advance ;) I'm glad to hear the positive spin this situation took.
Happy Holidays!

December 23, 2009 at 1:30 PM  
Blogger lemonologie said...

I have had similar experiences on facebook. I have been contacted by people who I have grown apart from. It's a great way to keep in touch without the pressure of dealing with elephants in the room!

December 23, 2009 at 1:32 PM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

Sounds like she is still a good friend!
Stopping by from SITS!

December 23, 2009 at 4:31 PM  
Blogger Foursons said...

Glad you have such a great friend!

December 23, 2009 at 5:17 PM  
Blogger Vodka Logic said...

I love that ... and you brought an elephant gun.. we probably all have things we could shoot with that gun

December 23, 2009 at 5:26 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

What an awesome post. I totally wish I'd asked for an elephant gun for Christmas. Damn.

December 23, 2009 at 6:49 PM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

It's always nice to hear from someone in your past...but also brings up so many memories. LOL about the elephant gun!!

December 23, 2009 at 7:35 PM  
Blogger Tina said...

What a touching story. It always nice to reconnect with those that you have missed.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Happy Holidays!

December 23, 2009 at 8:12 PM  
Blogger kys said...

It's nice to hear about someone using FB for good instead of evil.

December 23, 2009 at 8:34 PM  
Blogger Daffy said...

Hmmm...that may be the first time I've ever looked at FB in a positive light. Usually I'm saying, "And that's reason number 2090637058209 why I don't FB"

Merry Christmas!

December 23, 2009 at 9:04 PM  
Blogger Jess @ Frugal with a Flourish said...

getting back in touch with old friends is normally always good! As long as they are people you want to get back in touch with!

Have a Merry Christmas!

December 23, 2009 at 10:21 PM  
Blogger Twincerely,Olga said...

Thats nice that she sent you a card!!I hope you can be friends again or at least friendly!

December 24, 2009 at 12:02 AM  
Blogger Poolside with the Girls said...

Gotta love the facebook no?

You just never know who you are going to reconnect with..

Enjoyed your story...

December 24, 2009 at 6:05 AM  
Blogger Corrie Howe said...

Separation between loved ones is hard on more than just the loved ones. I have a good friend who left his wife, his church and his friends. He'll try to leave me, but I'm not letting go, even if it is difficult. He and our friendship mean too much to me. But I've lost touch with aunts, cousins and others because of divorce.

December 26, 2009 at 3:26 PM  
Blogger adrienzgirl said...

I have caught up with a few really good old friends through FB too.

Hope your Christmas was very Merry!

December 27, 2009 at 4:10 AM  
Blogger SupahMommy said...

at first i was all like " d"??

did I send?? fb? i thought we were already? lmao


do you have the whole x factor posted on here?

December 27, 2009 at 10:54 PM  
Blogger becca said...

This is the perfect time of year to reconnect and feel good about the reconnection. I sent cards to some "old" friends this year too. It made me feel good imagining their smile when they opened the card from me. (I hope!).

Sounds like you're in such a good place now and have been able to move on. Happy New Year!

December 28, 2009 at 10:51 AM  

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