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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Pour Your Heart Out: Something's Gotta Give

Welcome to Pour Your Heart Out- if you need more info on how to participate, check out THIS post. But it's personal- it's what YOU think is pouring your heart out. Please grab the PYHO button or link back in your post if you are participating.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)


Truth time.

I like to pretend like everything is okay.

Joke around and be silly.

Have fun and act confident.

When really, I've been overwhelmed lately.

Not like having a bad day kind of overwhelmed.

Or having a busy week kind of overwhelmed.

But, completely overwhelmed.  For quite a while.

Having a hard time doing everyday things kind of overwhelmed.

Paralyzed because I can't fix things.

Wishing for someone to sweep in and fix all that is wrong.

But, not able to ask for help.

Because I want to appear strong.

I'm not strong.

Something's gotta give.



Blogger Adrienne said...

Shell, you have to take a break. Get some time alone to sort through your thoughts. I hate feeling like that. Somehow, you need a chance to step back (without kids) and breathe. Maybe hubs can arrange to give you a break or maybe a family member? Even though it make not be the kids that are overwhelming you, being alone requires them to be with someone else. I hope you start feeling better soon! Sending prayers for peace.

June 8, 2011 at 7:12 AM  
Blogger EMM said...

I am sorry to hear that, Shell! I hate that feeling, and I know it well. I agree with Adrienne- you need to take some time (however little you can manage!) for your self. Just time to be quiet, alone, let the knots in your shoulders unwind. Every once in a while, when I'm having one of those days/weeks/months, after Munchkin is asleep, even if it's already 8 pm and I'm exhausted, I tell the hubs that I'm out. I force myself to get in the car, go to the local book store, and enjoy a nice cup of (decaf!) coffee while I just let myself wander through the aisles. I am always glad I make myself do that, even though my body just wants to crawl into bed, my mind needs some separation from the house, the baby, and yes, even the hubby. Thinking about ya!

June 8, 2011 at 7:18 AM  
Blogger Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

Oh my girl! I have sooooo been there. I agree with the 2 ladies above, you need time for you, so that you can have deep thoughts about whatever you are fretting about . . . and maybe get some clarity.
Sending hugs and positivity your way . . . and know that even though I am only out here in the blog world, I would be glad to be a shoulder and listen.:)

June 8, 2011 at 7:24 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

So sorry to hear this Shell. I always wonder how you do it all with your social media commitments and the boys. Sometimes just keeping up with the kids is more than enough. Yesterday mine were so wild they practically had me in tears by dinner time. I think it took a lot for you to admit you are overwhelmed and I hope you can find some ways to get a break. Sending hugs!

June 8, 2011 at 7:27 AM  
Blogger Varda said...

Shell, I am so there, too, so know what you're going through. I call it the "cumulative stress" and it's not pretty. Big cyber-hugs from over here.

June 8, 2011 at 7:41 AM  
Blogger Tara R. said...

I was going through this kind of feeling last year. Feeling like my head would explode if I had to deal with one more thing. The worry can make you feel so helpless. I finally had a friend tell me I needed to delegate some of that worry to the people who could do something about it and just focus in what I could do. Sounds hard and easy at the same time, but it did help to let go of some of the things I had no control over. I hope you can find some peace soon.

June 8, 2011 at 7:56 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

((HUGS)) I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed. It's not a good feeling. When I get super stressed, all I want to do is sleep. Sleep until it all goes away. Of course, that never happens...sleeping only makes it worse.

I hope you get past this soon!

June 8, 2011 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Hugs!! I've been there and it sucks!! I hope that things start feeling better soon!

June 8, 2011 at 8:02 AM  
Blogger Real Life Sarah said...

Shell, I have been there, too. Just recently,it was all I could do to get out of bed. I'm better now, but I'm going to see a counselor to help me sort out everything, and make sure I truly work through it and don't just cover it up. Holy run-on sentence batman. For me, it felt better just to admit it to someone, and not to try to pretend everything was OK. I hope you get some peace, and I'll keep you in my prayers.

June 8, 2011 at 8:03 AM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I've been going through the same thing. I'm trying to let go of the things I can't control and focus on what I can control. It's easier said than done, I know. I'm here for you though. Sending hugs an hoping you get some peace soon!

June 8, 2011 at 8:07 AM  
Blogger Tina @ Life Without Pink said...

Shell the last few days I have been feeling like that too. Trying to handle everything {while piling more things on my plate}. It's summer which is a busy time of the year anyway. Take a break....step away for a day, week, etc. You will feel much better :)

June 8, 2011 at 8:14 AM  
Blogger Kerri said...

Ironic that I am back to link up with you after I myself took a much needed break to find a post from you about being overwhelmed.
I've missed being around the blog world but I just got overwhelmed with my "real life" and "blog life" and being a mom and a friend and, and and.....
Give in and only focus on the most important things for a little while. It's worth it.

June 8, 2011 at 8:16 AM  
Blogger Katina said...

Girl, when I read this I was thinking: how did she know how I am feeling? I am praying for you. Being everywhere and doing everything just tires a sista out and leaves us feeling depleted.

June 8, 2011 at 8:20 AM  
Blogger Joann Mannix said...

I have always admired your ability to be superblogger and parent, (very well, by the way), three little boys. I always think to myself, how does she do it all so effortlessly?

It's okay to stop, take a big breath and take time for you.

And if you need to just send an email full of every cuss word you know, I'm here.

And if you need to just vent, the same goes.

I'm here. And I'm a good listener. And if I were closer, I'd be on your doorstep with wine and teenage girl babysitters.

If there's anything I can do...

June 8, 2011 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

Sending hugs and prayers your way. It's hard to admit that you just can't do it all. But in all my trials and tribulations, I've learned that through brokenness comes blessings. It's okay to be broken...it's a necessary step to shape us into the person we are to be.

In the words of my mother, "let go and let God."

I'll be thinking of you!

June 8, 2011 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

I have been feeling exactly the way you have written for 3 years now.


June 8, 2011 at 8:30 AM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

There is always something looming in the background waiting to be done. I hope things get easier.

June 8, 2011 at 8:30 AM  
Blogger angela said...

Oh Shell, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling like that :( Sending lots of hugs your way. Asking for help isn't a sign of failure, it's another tool in your arsenal. I hope you figure things out soon.

June 8, 2011 at 8:37 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

I know exactly how you feel. You need a break, but I know it's not something is can easily be done sometimes.

If you need to vent to someone, you know where to find me.

June 8, 2011 at 8:37 AM  
Blogger RoryBore said...

wrote a similar post the other day. but my biggest observation? hubby Never feels this way. like ever. So what's up with that?
"hang in there" sounds trite, trivial...but that is what we mothers do, isn't? Because in the end, we discover, we Are stong enough afterall. *hugs*

June 8, 2011 at 8:39 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

One day at a time Mama, one moment at a time if you have to. Go easy on yourself, take time just for you and know you are not alone.

June 8, 2011 at 8:40 AM  
Blogger mama marchand said...

I know the feeling, mama. It's hard when you're feeling overwhelmed, period. But, add in work, house stuff, kids & a husband? Oof. Hang in there!

June 8, 2011 at 8:40 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

After my 2nd son was born, I had wicked PPD. The scariest and most freeing thing during my recovery was saying "NO" and "help." I was always the person who could keep 10 balls in the air at a time. Admitting that I had to let something drop was so hard. I canceled a Halloween party I had already invited people to. But you know what? No one thought I was weak and people came and offered help.

You're in my prayers. Choose one ball to drop today and feel the air become easier to breathe.

June 8, 2011 at 8:45 AM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

I so understand this. You do need to take a break for a while. A little blogcation would sure help you. It would at least be one thing off of your plate for a little while and it may help a ton. I have been feeling the same way lately and something does have to give. I am here for you Shell! HUGS!

June 8, 2011 at 8:49 AM  
Blogger Tania said...

Been there. Am still there kinda. Deep breaths. This too shall pass. Or something like that.

Why is so hard to ask for help? I ask myself that question at least a million times a day.

June 8, 2011 at 8:52 AM  
Blogger michellespann said...

Been there, and I hate that feeling. Will writing it out help? Even in private if you have to. That helps me sometimes. *HUGS*

June 8, 2011 at 8:58 AM  
Blogger Denise said...

When you are feeling pulled in every direction and nothing is letting lose or getting resolved, it is so hard to get yourself out. I am going through a tough time myself right now...and asking for help is tough for so many reasons. I hope that something gives soon or at least comes to a head so one thing can get off your plate.

June 8, 2011 at 9:13 AM  
Blogger Beth Zimmerman said...

If it continues much longer ... talk to your doctor. That sounds a LOT like depression. I got to where I would stand in front of the kitchen cabinets and cry because I literally could not figure out what to make for dinner. Choices had become impossible! There are still a lot of hard things in my life but I am better able to cope because with some chemical intervention ... I'm not drowning in hormonal soup anymore! Wishing you much joy, Shell!

June 8, 2011 at 9:15 AM  
Blogger (Florida) Girl said...

I am guilty of this more than I like to admit. I am still learning how to ask for help.

June 8, 2011 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Wow, Shell. I've thought about you often and when I read all of you do I've been amazed at, well, all you do. A stay-at-home mommy in and of itself can be an overwhelming job and you do so much more!
Praying for you and the choices you're making! It's so hard to know what has to give and feeling guilty over that choice, but I pray it becomes clear. Perhaps you can take a vacation to unwind and think through things more clearly? Anyway, again, praying for you! Thanks for sharing your heart honestly!

June 8, 2011 at 9:55 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I wish I had more to offer you than just a blog comment! If it's any consolation, it's obvious that you're not alone in this! We've all felt that way, and we're all here to support you. Just remember that taking care of yourself first is what lets you take care of the other things and people in your life. That may sound a little cheesy, but I've tried to fight the concept and always end up realizing how right it is. Take care of yourself and know that we're all behind you 100%!

June 8, 2011 at 9:57 AM  
Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Shell, I hope you feel better soon. It's difficult but you have to step back sometimes and not be too hard on yourself. *hugs*

June 8, 2011 at 10:11 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but I am not surprised! You do so much and you are such a busy, awesome mama. Keep your chin up and tits out babe. :)

June 8, 2011 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger Brittney said...

girl you have to take some breathing time and take a break. I know you are busy with your boys, your work, and this blog but when you get overwhelmed like that you have to take a step back and take a breather! ((hugs))

June 8, 2011 at 10:23 AM  
Blogger Tylaine said...

I am so there with you. You just need to take a break and get some alone time. Women tend to think they need to get everything done and end up getting so overwhelmed. The best way to get everything you need done though is to take care of yourself first. :)

June 8, 2011 at 10:35 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Oh I hear you friend. I get in this place and I HATE being in this place and then I don't know how to get out of it. I just sit and stare and feel bad about all of the stuff I'm not doing that I should be doing and then I just feel worse. My only advice is to just keep trying, or fake it till you make it. Eventually, for me, it just sort of evens out.

June 8, 2011 at 10:39 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I am this way too sometimes. Ask for help. It will be okay.

June 8, 2011 at 10:50 AM  
Blogger Heidi said...

I agree that you need to make some time for yourself honey! Make hubs take the kids and you go somewhere quiet away from them, the computer and everything else. You need to take care of yourself too.
Hang in there, you are not alone.

June 8, 2011 at 10:59 AM  
Blogger ModernMom said...

Hell...sending hugs! I have been there. The days where it is work to just put one foot in front of the other. One hour at a time my friend. I'm not going to pretend to know how you feel or what is going on but "this to shall pass".

PS If I can take any pressure off by helping with bloggy stuff shoot me an e-mail K?

June 8, 2011 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger ModernMom said...

Umm and that was to real Shell, not Hell. Gee :)

June 8, 2011 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I often feel like this. Sometimes it just seems there is way too much on my plate.
My advice is going to go against the grain of many others, though.

When I feel like this if I just drop everything and take time for myself it makes me even more stressed and anxious. I literally can't enjoy anything because I am thinking about all the things that need to be done.

So I have to start making lists. What can I pass on to someone else, either at work or to my hubby at home or sometimes even to my kids or to a friend. And then I start thinking about how I can cut corners. Yes I need to feed my kids everyday (it's kind of like a rule), but does it need to be a big meal every night. No. PB&J and cucumbers on paper plates is probably just as nutritrious as what I would have "made" for dinner and my kids (especially my younger one) would probably love the novelty of it. And if it is PB&J for a whole week while I check things off my list that's okay, too. Everyone will manage.

For me to get out of the hole I dug myself I just need to jump in and start checking things off. Even the smallest task is checked off as "done".

I hope things get better soon - this is a horrible time of year to feel lousy!

June 8, 2011 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Kristina P. said...

I can't say I've been feeling overwhelmed, but I've been feeling, something. Tired, maybe?

June 8, 2011 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Courtney K. said...

HUGS!! I've been there. I've felt that way. And it's hard...especially during the times where maybe you can't quite pinpoint exactly what's going on. Just know that you AREN'T alone!!

June 8, 2011 at 11:20 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

Oh girl...you know I understand! If you need to talk I am here...I will email you my phone number if you want. It would be fun to chat in real time! :) I love you girl!

June 8, 2011 at 11:20 AM  
Blogger Elle said...

I am sorry you're feeling this way right now. I can completely relate. I love how honest and real this post is. You know what? You're not alone, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. If anyone tells you they've never been in that position, they're totally lying.

I wish I had advice for you, but I don't. So hopefully virtual (((HUGS))) will suffice! Hange in there.

June 8, 2011 at 11:30 AM  
Blogger Hutch said...

Asking for help is definitely difficult, but I think you'll be amazed at who will be there to support you when you do.

June 8, 2011 at 11:31 AM  
Blogger We 2 Bees said...

I feel your pain! It is so hard when we feel so overwhelmed, I've been in the same boat for a while myself and it seems like I'd just like to hide and not come out for good long while. I pray that you are able to find a way to find that change that your life so desperately needs, asking for help is a good start but I'm the same way it's just soo hard! Start with little changes, baby steps are aways a little easier! Hugs!

June 8, 2011 at 11:45 AM  
Blogger Kir said...

"No man is an island" Shell, and honestly you do SO MUCH stuff, that OMG, I don't know how you do it.

I am not half as busy as you are and between the twins, the blogging (I don't even WORK on the blog like you do) and work I feel overwhelmed OFTEN!

I agree with everyone, ask for help, take a break, give yourself some GUILT FREE time away from something. Put your toes in the grass or the sand and just sit, let the sun shine on your face and come back when you're feeling like YOU again. I promise we'll all be here and if you need anything (Guest posts, wine, chocolate...just let me know, I'm happy to help!)

hugs to you and THANK YOU for all you do, for being STRONG...it's appreciated more than you know. :)

June 8, 2011 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Rach (DonutsMama) said...

Shell, you said EXACTLY what I've been feeling lately. How did you get inside my head?

I hope things get lighter and easier for you soon. I really do. ((hugs)) I think you are a strong woman.

June 8, 2011 at 12:04 PM  
Blogger Lauren Michelle said...

I won't say I know exactly how you feel, because everyone's situations are different, but I've definitely felt like this for a while - that something has just simply got to give. It's this feeling like I need something to change soon or like I'll break, or I'll explode, or something bad. I hope things get better for you, and then when whatever gives gives, it does it gracefully and doesn't make any disruptions in your life, but greatly relieves it.

June 8, 2011 at 12:10 PM  
Blogger Eternal Lizdom said...

I feel ya. I've been there- recently. If you know what the issue is, find a solution and go for it. Even if you think you can't, you have to try and you have to make it a priority. If it's reaching out for help, do it. If it's shutting down for a weekend, do it. If it's a night out with your husband or a close friend, do it. If it's talking to someone for an outside opinion, do it.

June 8, 2011 at 12:15 PM  
Anonymous Melissa {adventuroo} said...

I hear ya, girl. I feel so overwhelmed too.

I'm starting to crawl out of the hole slowly by dropping the things that take up time but don't bring me much value. It's a constant pruning process for me though.

Hang in there! It won't always be like this!

June 8, 2011 at 12:20 PM  
Blogger Young Mom said...

Good for you for talking about it, that's the first step to recovery and healing. I pretended everything was OK for way to long, and it was crippling.

June 8, 2011 at 12:26 PM  
Anonymous Yuliya said...

Yes, yes and another resounding yes. I feel you, I have been there. And I hope you get the support you need. Hugs!

June 8, 2011 at 12:27 PM  
Blogger Charlotte said...

Sending SO MUCH POSITIVE ENERGY your way, beautiful momma. And hope that someone sweeps in soon. I wish you peace of mind and hope things settle down for you soon. And I agree with the others--I think maybe you're taking on too much. You have to tend to yourself, too.


June 8, 2011 at 12:31 PM  
Blogger Minivan Mama said...

Yep. I know that feeling pretty well. Every once in awhile as I drive by the interstate in my minivan...I have a fleeting thought that I should just get on there and drive and leave all the craziness behind. Then I come back to reality and realize, I love my crazy.

Hang in there Shell!

June 8, 2011 at 12:36 PM  
Blogger Whit said...

Sometimes asking for help is the hardest thing to do, but if you'll let yourself, I know it will pay off!! AND...Take it easy on yourself. Take a vacation or a mini vacation and RELAX and concentrate on YOU. :)


June 8, 2011 at 12:57 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

It sounds like you need (if possible) to take a little break. Line up a sitter, step away from the phone and computer and just breathe. It's so hard to ask for help, but you'll feel better in the long run. Praying for some peace of mind for you!! {{{GIANT HUGS}}}

June 8, 2011 at 1:28 PM  
Blogger From Tracie said...

I am so sorry you are in the midst of overwhelm right now. That is no fun. (I've been there for long stretches of time, myself).

This advice sounds trite, and it is harder to follow than you might think, but if you are able, going to see someone (of the professional, couch owning variety) could be helpful. Lean on your husband...don't shut him out and try to do it all on your own (you might not be doing that, but I SURE DO). It is okay to say, "NO!", no to work things that are too much, no to social events/obligations, etc......in the same vein, it is okay to say, "YES", yes to things that you really want, yes to time for yourself, yes to turning off the phone/computer and cuddling up with the kids for a movie (or two or three - followed by a movie for you after they are in bed).

I <3 you!

June 8, 2011 at 1:41 PM  
Blogger Cindi said...

When things look and feel down, only place left to look is up. Praying for you Shell. Please let me know if there's anything we can do to help.

June 8, 2011 at 1:42 PM  
Blogger Jen Backus said...

You need a break, but there often isn't one. You take a break and things just pile up more. It's hard. Find some "you" time even if it's just a little each day. It will help clarify your thoughts and give you more resolve to press on.

Best wishes!

June 8, 2011 at 1:43 PM  
Blogger The Woven Moments said...

Been there. Some of the best advice I got was GIVE UP. Give up on all the things that don't make you happy, well rested, or well adjusted.

At least for a little while.

And don't forget to ask for help! People are waiting in the wings to help you...you just need to ask.


June 8, 2011 at 1:43 PM  
Blogger Coreen said...

I am so sorry you are having a tough time. I am right there with you. Some days I feel like I do everything half-ass and am an epic failure at parenting, my career, my household and even styling my own hair. I agree, somethings gotta give. But recognizing that you are spread too thin is a good sign. Now you just have to give yourself a break and actually TAKE a break.

June 8, 2011 at 1:48 PM  
Blogger By Word of Mouth Musings said...

See you in just a few short weeks, where we will relax with coffee in hand, listen to speakers who will motivate and replenish, spend time with bloggy friends who understand what it means to be busy every waking moment .. .and unwind every night with a glass of wine in hand ...
2 weeks my dear, hold it for two weeks :)

June 8, 2011 at 2:04 PM  
Blogger Jenny said...

((hugs)) friend...I have been feeling that way lately and I have one little guy! hoping it will pass for you and you guys will have a great summer!

June 8, 2011 at 2:06 PM  
Blogger Tayarra said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel! I am Just now starting to feel a little better. I'm used to having it all together and under control. The house cleaned, the family loved, work done. But it is getting harder and harder. Things are neglected (not the kids) and I feel completely out of sorts. It has lasted longer this time around and harder to recover from but I'm getting there. I ended up sick and had no choice But to ask for help.
Good luck girl! I wish I could lend a helping hand!

June 8, 2011 at 2:18 PM  
Blogger The Blonde Duck said...

I hope you feel better!

I don't have a belly bump,but I have a pooch!

June 8, 2011 at 2:29 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

I know that feeling and hate that feeling. Some days life is good, other days I'm so overwhelmed I just want to curl up in a corner and cry for no reason at all. I actually talked to my doctor about it recently -- wondering if maybe it was depression. And she really encouraged me to find some time every day just to myself -- and not just at 8 p.m. after the kids go to bed and I'm exhausted. It's hard but it's helped. Sometimes, all I manage is to read a magazine while the kids play in the backyard, but it helps because although I'm still keeping an eye on them, I don't have to be 'on' and involved. It gives me a few minutes to just decompress.

June 8, 2011 at 2:31 PM  
Blogger Jocelyn said...

Thank you for saying it out loud! You hit the nail on the head.

June 8, 2011 at 3:16 PM  
Anonymous tracy@sellabitmum said...

Oh hon, thinking about you. xoxo

June 8, 2011 at 3:38 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Yes, just let go and take a break, let something give. We all have to do it at times and no one will think less of you- they will just love you and care about your more-or at least if they are the sort of people you want in your life anyway that is what they will do. We can only do so much if we want to be able to do anything at all.

June 8, 2011 at 3:48 PM  
Blogger Just Another Mom of 2 said...

You know I love you and am here for you- the same way you were there for me with my own nervous breakdown. Life? Gets freakin hard. You do so much and you do so much alone. Working at home with kids is one of the toughest things a person can do. There is only so much a person can take before they are left completely drained.

Try to take deep breaths, drink some wine (yes, my solution for everything). Maybe try to make a schedule- for me, it makes me think I'm in control even if I'm not.

Oh, and once we're settled back from Type A and things return to normal? Girls weekend. You both owe me a few days, so there can be no complaining from third parties.

June 8, 2011 at 4:24 PM  
Blogger Jayme said...

If there's ever anything I can do, I'm just a couple miles up the road!

June 8, 2011 at 5:15 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Big hugs

I know I'm the last person to say "ask for help!" Because I'm bad...ok horrible about doing that myself. 2 months ago I finally broke down in my drs office of all places and he helped so much. I got another pill to take but that's ok because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel again. So try to ask for help. :)

June 8, 2011 at 5:29 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Shell - I know what you mean. This was me a few days ago. This motherhood-taking-care-of-the-family along with doing everything else not family related can feel/be too much.

I agree, go, take a break - a couple of hours during the day to yourself or a few hours of quietness away on a weekend. Hubby can have some boy bonding time while you're away.

Hang in there!

June 8, 2011 at 5:30 PM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

{{{HUGS}}} Mamma... I go through cycles like this, some longer than others and eventually something does give and things even out again. Figure out what you can let go of so you don't break!

June 8, 2011 at 5:31 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

Hugs chica! I think we all feel like this at times. Now is a good time to take a step back and reflect on everything that you have on your plate. Is it too full? Overflowing?

Is there something you can do to change it? Have somebody watch the boys a few hours a day a few days a week so that you have some time to yourself? Can the Hubs help with the load in anyway?

Don't despair... but, let your family know that you need a break! :)

June 8, 2011 at 6:16 PM  
Blogger Missy said...

I so understand how you feel, and have been thinking about you all day long since I first read this this morning. I agree with everyone about taking a break, but know how hard that can feel sometimes when you're in the thick of it.

Remember that this is a major transition time (school year into summer). My kids tend to kind of go crazy around this time and it makes me feel so much more overwhelmed than I normally do.

Some sort of small break every day IS really helpful. Or try to scale back on something until you feel like your feet are under you again.

Take care - I'm thinking of you!

June 8, 2011 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger HopefulLeigh said...

So sorry to hear you've been feeling this way and especially that it's been going on for awhile. I hope that you'll get a break and a season of refreshment soon.

June 8, 2011 at 8:33 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I hope it isn't anything too serious and "just" the everyday life/mom to three/ working thing.


June 8, 2011 at 8:42 PM  
Blogger Karen Mortensen said...

Wow, did you write this or did I? Hope you get feeling better soon. I am glad I am not alone.

June 8, 2011 at 8:52 PM  
Blogger A Mommy in the City said...

Your life and my life sound strangely familiar right now. I try to put on a front and act like everything is okay and I am just screaming on the inside. Hope things get better for you!

June 8, 2011 at 9:28 PM  
Blogger championm2000 said...

I could have written this post many times over during the past year. Without getting too personal, I decided it was time to stop carrying the load myself. I realized I wasn't helping anybody by continuing to suffer and nobody was going to give me a gold star by suffering in silence. If a pill and a talk on a couch help me get back into my life, I say bring it on. ((hugs)) to you and prayers that you find the answer you seek.

June 8, 2011 at 10:33 PM  
Blogger For the Love of Naps - Sarah said...

Hang in there girl! Give yourself a break!

June 8, 2011 at 10:44 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I hope somethings gives soon and you can relax!
Anything we can do for ya?

June 8, 2011 at 11:23 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Overwhelmed is definitely an emotion I can relate to right now. I hope you can find some time to regroup. Love you, miss you, and hope to catch up when we're both doing better! In the meantime, you're in my prayers.

June 8, 2011 at 11:34 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Sorry Love. Prioritize. And if you need time away from the blog, you know we'll always be here...

June 8, 2011 at 11:36 PM  
Blogger Mrs4444 said...

Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. I hope sharing this helps a little.

June 8, 2011 at 11:54 PM  
Blogger Mommy Inconsistent said...

I'm hoping that reading all the comments about so many of us moms feeling the same way helps you to feel better. You are definitely not alone. I was feeling the same way so much so recently that I finally made an appointment with my GP...am feeling so much better now and I hope the same for you. Hang in there!

June 9, 2011 at 12:41 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Shell, I wish I had some words of wisdom...or that I could fix it for you. I will be praying for you. I hope that something changes for you soon. Ask for help too, that will help.

June 9, 2011 at 12:56 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

Shell, I totally get this...I do. You are torn in so many directions, and so busy!

You just really need to ask for help if you need it, step back and take a break if you need it, and take care of yourself...

June 9, 2011 at 12:58 AM  
Blogger The Empress said...

Shell, I've been feeling the same way.

Like I'm on this roller coaster that won't stop.

So much fun, but I have to get off to breathe.

With ya, girlfriend.

June 9, 2011 at 1:07 AM  
Blogger Kelley said...

I can only imagine why you would be overwhelmed. You are an awesome blogger and awesome mother. That takes a lot of time and energy. I hope you find your balance soon. Big hugs!

June 9, 2011 at 5:23 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

We all need a breather...and it is so hard to not be able to fix things. Hope it works out soon :)

June 9, 2011 at 7:58 AM  
Anonymous Kimberly said...

Oh honey...
I know. I know.
You can't wear all hats at once. It's impossible. Know that we are all here. If something has got to give know that you and your family comes first. Always.
You're a good mom and a fantastic blogger/writer. Don't forget that in the midst of everything.
We will all be here for you. Xoxo

June 9, 2011 at 7:59 AM  
Blogger Chelle said...

Honey? Totally get it. I took a loooong break from it all--all the extras I had going on? I simply stepped away from.

I missed the hell out of my friends and everything...but for me? It was well worth it.

Know that we are ALL here for you sweetie. Whatever you need, look at the amount of people who love the hell out of you :) Let me know if you need anything...even if it's just someone to talk to. xoxo

June 9, 2011 at 8:03 AM  
Blogger Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Oh Shell! I'm so sorry you're feeling with way. I'm so right there with you. Wish I was closer...I'd take you to lunch...okay well really I'd take you out for drinks but I was trying to be good as it's so early in the morning and all!

Love you!

June 9, 2011 at 8:41 AM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

As pretty much everyone before me said, sometimes just stepping back and letting everything go for a time is best. Even if that time is just a day or two to think about what is the most important things and which can be let go of.

I hope that you are able to find a solution that works for you, your family and your life. Feeling so overwhelmed is not good.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

June 9, 2011 at 8:47 AM  
Blogger Daffy said...

If there's one thing that I've learned over the last 13 months of tragic death and nasty ugly divorces...its that the strongest people DO ask for help. I can't even begin to tell you how hard that was and still is for me. Even if its just help with the laundry...or a couple of hours to watch the kids so you can sit in the sun with your thoughts...or in a dark closet (I've done both). I've had to ask for help financially, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually and that was NOT EASY for this VERY INDEPENDENT self sufficient Duck.

My hearts and thoughts are with you. Nothing is greater than God and while we KNOW that it doesn't always soothe in the moment the way we need it to.

I've also learned in the moments of being so overwhelmed I'm not sure how I am breathing that it is absolutely okay, and NECESSARY, to take some time to yourself. Cry. Give yourself permission to set EVERYTHING down even for just a little bit and deep breath...recharge and then pick it back up.

Much love to you Shell. You are a phenomenal woman, mother and wife. There are SOOO many arms outstretched to support you! You've created such an amazing community here!

June 9, 2011 at 8:53 AM  
Blogger Daffy said...

And if I could, I would totally take the kids (and hubs if he needed entertaining too. Irishmen is GREAT company :o) so you could have some time :( I know thats not much help since I can't...but I would if I could. XOXO

June 9, 2011 at 8:54 AM  
Blogger LisaDay said...

I hope you find your way back.


June 9, 2011 at 8:57 AM  
Blogger Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I hope you find a way to feel less overwhelmed Shell! That's a hard place to be. Hang in there :-)

June 9, 2011 at 9:41 AM  
Blogger Helene said...

Oh Shell, girl, you know I know where you're coming from. I so totally get it. It's how I feel almost all the time...overwhelmed, like to the point where I feel like I can't breathe.

Just gotta step back and take time for yourself. I used to feel selfish for needing my "me" time but I'm slowly getting over that. And, really, sometimes that me time is just locking myself in my upstairs bathroom, sitting on the floor and focusing on taking slow, deep breaths (and threatening the kids that if they even bang on the door once or whine "Moooommmmyyyy", I will rip their eyeballs out of their heads).

It takes a strong, courageous woman to admit when she's drowning and needs help. You are stronger than you realize!

Hang in there, my friend....and know that you have an entire world of support, love and friendship!

June 9, 2011 at 10:30 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Oh girl, I know those feelings. I've been there before and lately have been feeling like that. One reason I have not been posting any posts lately. Something had to give and unfortunately it has been the blog.

Admitting you can't do it all is the first step. You're only one person.

I've learned to set my limits on what I am going to do each day. If I don't get it done that day, oh well. I've got to have ME time which does not mean blogging.

I could write so much more... I'm here if you want to chat on email or wherever. :)

Love ya girl.

June 9, 2011 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Lady Jennie said...

Considering how much you do in the blogosphere, I'll bet you're exactly the same way in real life. (or is this real life too?) :-)

But anyway, it's impossible to respond without using a cliché, but you're still uber cool even if you can't do everything.

June 9, 2011 at 1:03 PM  
Blogger Keshyra said...

I know exactly how you feel and talking about it and finally asking for help are steps in the right direction. I agree with what everyone is saying, try to find some time for yourself. I know you have three kids and it must be so hard to do, but can you get them all off on playdates and get a facial or a massage? Or perhaps some friend or family member can come over and help out while you go off on your own for a couple of hours. I find a dinner or coffee with girlfriends always rejuvenates me (not that I get to do it very often), especially ones who understand what you are going through (ie other moms). If I lived near you I would totally come over and help in anyway I could, even if you just needed someone to help you clean (it gets done much faster if you have more people doing it). I hope you find the help you need :)

June 9, 2011 at 1:23 PM  
Blogger Elena said...

Seriously, why weren't we warned that being an adult and a mom can be so hard sometimes? At times, things do have to give and figuring out what that is, can be challenging. Hope you get a little break soon!

June 9, 2011 at 2:20 PM  
Blogger Mom of 12 said...

We all feel that way! Don't ever be thinking you are alone...today I have most of my own here plus two grandkids and three neighbor kids. We went for a walk...a dozen of us...six kids under the age of six, five crazy teenagers, and me. Yeah...I feel overwhelmed...then they all expected me to provide lunch!

June 9, 2011 at 3:35 PM  
Blogger kristi said...

HUGS...I know this feeling and it's not good.

June 9, 2011 at 5:20 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

You just got inside my head and wrote my thoughts. (((hugs)))

June 9, 2011 at 8:22 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Holy smolly...I'm behind! There's 110 comments on here! That's the most I've ever seen on a blog before. Anyways, I was going to say: I'll be right over! I can watch the kids, you can do whatever you need to do...*sigh*...if only it were that easy.

June 9, 2011 at 9:35 PM  
Anonymous Paula @ Simply Sandwich said...

Oh Shell...

I am sending over a big HUG right now! I have to admit I have been feeling the same way and as you have heard from probably the previous 111 posts, that is a sign for a breaky-poo.

I decided to do a mini-break of sorts. NO CYBERSPACE on Sunday. Tried it last weekend and was AMAZED at how much better I felt for this week. The internet didn't crash with me not participating so I guess I can continue to take my Sunday breaks. Take care! :)

June 9, 2011 at 11:07 PM  
Blogger Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

Oh, hugs for you. It seems that you are definitely not alone. Sorry you are having such a rough time. No words of advice from me, but I'll say a prayer for you to get through this time. :)

June 9, 2011 at 11:27 PM  
Blogger bigguysmama said...

Shell, that's such a icky place to be. Don't put on a show for us. So many of us have been there. We totally get it. Whatever you need to do to keep yourself mentally and emotionally healthy is more important than blogging or any of that business. Your husband needs you to be whole, the kids need you to be whole, and YOU need to take care of yourself!


June 9, 2011 at 11:34 PM  
Blogger The Zany Housewife said...

I feel like you were writing the thoughts from inside my head. I don't know your situation, but hang in there. Take the time you need for yourself.

Ah hell, who am I to give advice when I'm so clearly blind in my own life?

I'll be thinking about you and wishing you the very best.

June 10, 2011 at 1:31 AM  
Blogger The Blue Zoo said...

Ive been feeling pretty overwhelmed too. I just dont have time, for anything. Im drowning. The house looks like a bomb went off, and my blog is sucking, and I havent worked out hardly at all.

BUT your overwhelmedness sounds worse somehow. I hope you are ok.

Call, email, text if you wanna vent.

June 10, 2011 at 2:07 AM  
Blogger blueviolet said...

I just wrote you this huge enormously long comment about this, and then I got a service unavailable message and it disappeared. I am not happy!

Basically, I was saying that my heart goes out to you so much, and I'm so sorry that you've felt you needed to keep a happy face going on the outside when so much was brewing underneath.

You know (based on my own experiences) that I am not a fan of the "keep on blogging" philosophy. Blogging is a distraction and an escape, and there are too many of us who have fallen victim to that.

When life is screaming at us, it's time to address it, no matter how painful it may be.

I know that's probably not what you want to hear, and I risk you being mad at me about it, but honestly, fixing what's broken in real life is what matters here.

I hope you know that this comes from a place of friendship and genuine concern. I love you, Shell, and I'm not that far away...

June 10, 2011 at 10:08 AM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

*HUG* I hope that whatever is going on in your life is manageable, and you shouldn't feel at all guilty for taking the time to get yourself situated. I have been a bit of the overwhelmed myself lately. But that's what the Internet is for - to distract us from stress and waste time reading famous peoples' tweets.

June 10, 2011 at 10:23 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Glad you have your blogging buddies for support too! I know when there are things I cannot blog about (like RIGHT NOW), it is so nice that these friends (who are every bit as real as the ones I can hug) are there to commiserate or laugh about things.

Hoping things are better/easier/sweeter for you soon!

June 11, 2011 at 12:00 AM  
Blogger Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

I hear ya. It is hard to fit everything in. To make it all work. To finish each day feeling like it was a success instead of feeling buried. All I can go is say take care of yourself, whatever that means for you.

June 11, 2011 at 12:08 PM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

Oh hon.
You KNOW I've been here. I think I still am. I'm so overwhelmed I don't even know how I'm surviving.
Not to mention, now you have the Mr.'s surgery to contend with. Know I love ya. Hard core. And that it's totally OK to feel this way.

June 13, 2011 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

I'm not sure how I missed this post!!! Hoping everything is ok...feeling overwhelmed can be...well...overwhelming!! Let me know if I can help!!!

June 15, 2011 at 7:50 AM  

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