< Things I Can't Say: Calling It Off

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Calling It Off

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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Calling It Off

What were they to each other now?

They were living in separate states for the forseeable future.  Yet, they would still talk on the phone. He still wanted her to wear his ring.

It was all so confusing.

She felt like she couldn't really move on, if they hadn't really called things off. But, she couldn't just wait around and see if they could work things out.

She needed to know.

She missed him.

And so, she decided that she would make him an offer: she would move back, if only he wanted to make it work. She would quit her job and be there this weekend. She still had her job waiting for her in New York, as the school year hadn't started there yet and she hadn't officially resigned.

And so, she called him.

"Do you want us to work? Do you want us to be together?"

They talked and talked. Talked in circles, trying to figure it all out.

She stared down at the pink and white patterns on the blue chair that she sat on, seeing them swirling through her tears.

He didn't want her to give up her life down there, to move back where she would be miserable.  And he wasn't going to move down there with her.  So, where did that leave them?

"I guess this is it," she whispered. "We're really over. We're not getting married."

"Don't say that! You don't know what is going to happen!" he said with a lot more passion than she expected from him.

But, she couldn't take this. It didn't make sense. If he didn't want her there and didn't want to be here with her, they were over. She had to be strong enough to admit it.

"We're over. I'm taking off the ring."

He tried to protest for several minutes, but eventually, he gave in, too. They both knew the truth, knew they had been over for a long time.

All this phone call was doing was finally putting an end to the way they had been torturing each other and themselves.

She hung up the phone, slipped the ring off her finger, and walked to her dresser to put it away.  She sat back down, rubbing her thumb over her now-empty finger, trying to convince herself that she had done the right thing.

If you missed any of the story of my past, where yes, I talk about myself in the third person, you can check out these links to get caught up:

10 Days After the Hurricane
Was It a Big Mistake?
A Romance Grows
And Then He Left Her
She Moves for Him
The Waiting Game
The Engagement
The Year It All Goes Wrong
The Break
The Worst Thing She Ever Did
We She Next Sees Him



Blogger Oka said...

Finally some closure both hearts needed to start the healing.

January 11, 2011 at 7:26 AM  
Blogger MsBabyPlan said...

Is this really over? Or will she go back.... Can't wait to read the next move.

January 11, 2011 at 7:37 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

Change can be hard at times. This is a huge one. Something had to give. Hugs.

January 11, 2011 at 7:56 AM  
Blogger Cristina said...

ah, you are killing me here.. I want to know what happens.... !

January 11, 2011 at 8:07 AM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Is this the end? Closure is important.

January 11, 2011 at 8:09 AM  
Blogger Maggi said...

Ooooo intriguing! But is it really over now???

January 11, 2011 at 8:26 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

It sounds like he was afraid to admit that things weren't going to work out. I'm glad you stayed strong.

January 11, 2011 at 8:50 AM  
Blogger bigguysmama said...

Waaaaah She took off the ring. They're over. Kaput. That's it. LOL This kind of like the Bible. We know how it's going to end. =)


January 11, 2011 at 8:56 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

Finding your head and your heart in conflict can be very tough to resolve. I know.

January 11, 2011 at 8:58 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

I think she did the right thing! :)

January 11, 2011 at 9:06 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

Such a hard call to make, but it had to be done.

January 11, 2011 at 9:09 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Even when you know it's over, taking the step to make if final is often the hardest part, but it really does close the door.

January 11, 2011 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

I'm a bit mad at him.

January 11, 2011 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

How did you feel?? Did you feel relief at all? I just posted about my break up with my boyfriend (college) today. I was sad, but at the same time, also felt relieved.

January 11, 2011 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

That empty finger feeling is horrible. You get so used to the weight of the ring.

Glad she made the call.

January 11, 2011 at 9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ughhhhhhh. Talking in circles is hard but taking off the ring is even harder. Poor girl!

January 11, 2011 at 9:53 AM  
Anonymous Kimberly said...

Taking off the ring? Powerful and sad.

January 11, 2011 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger (Florida) Girl said...

She sounds like a strong lady.

January 11, 2011 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger Frugal Vicki said...

I sure hope there is another story following this one....you are great at this

January 11, 2011 at 10:09 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Is this REALLY the end to them? Will the ring ever go back on that finger? :)

January 11, 2011 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger Daffy said...

Why is it that often times the right decisions are also the hardest ones?

January 11, 2011 at 10:33 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

It must have hurt but it sounds like it was definitely the right move!

January 11, 2011 at 10:44 AM  
Blogger Jennee said...

I don't like sad endings but I'm glad she found closure!

January 11, 2011 at 10:48 AM  
Anonymous So Very Domestic said...

Love your writing. Writing about yourself in the third person is working great! This situation just happened to my best friend. It hurts but is defo better in the long run!

January 11, 2011 at 10:56 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

I hope it's over and "she" moves on. I never liked him.

January 11, 2011 at 11:22 AM  
Blogger Andrea (ace1028) said...

I am proud to know someone so strong. I can only imagine how hard that must have been. I can only speak to my own "break-ups" and they were never as far along as what was the situation here. And that was rough for me. This must have been something.

January 11, 2011 at 11:27 AM  
Anonymous Ameena said...

I admire you for following your heart...the only thing harder than breaking off an engagement is breaking off a marriage.

Can't wait for the next story...

January 11, 2011 at 11:31 AM  
Blogger Ms Bibi said...

It's over? I think she needs to do what makes her happy and obviously moving for him wasn't it.

Can't wait if it's really OVER.

January 11, 2011 at 11:56 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

This sounds like what Kellys going through. She's so torn and he keeps saying "I miss you but we will see what happens"
She's been hanging on for over 2 years now....maybe I will ask her to read your story?

January 11, 2011 at 11:59 AM  
Blogger Just Another Mom of 2 said...

I think she is full of strength she didn't know she had before. A clearly wise, if painful, decision!

January 11, 2011 at 12:02 PM  
Blogger Ashley said...

It takes such strength and courage to do what you know must be done.

January 11, 2011 at 12:04 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

Closure is always so bittersweet!

January 11, 2011 at 12:12 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Doing what you know you have to do, but don't want to do is always SO hard.

More, more, more!

January 11, 2011 at 12:21 PM  
Blogger MrsJenB said...

Still annoyed with him, I can't help it.

I'm sure that taking such a big step must've been extremely difficult. I'm glad you did.

January 11, 2011 at 12:34 PM  
Blogger MiMi said...

He really just wanted you to be his but he didn't want to do the work to keep you. That's what I'm getting here...I think.
I mean, "I don't want you to give up what you have down there..."
Hello, clearly he doesn't want you back.
BUT then he freaks, "Don't say that!"

January 11, 2011 at 12:40 PM  
Blogger Helene said...

NOOOOOOO!!! You can't end it there....what happens next? Does he call her back and tell her he's an idiot for not fighting hard enough for her?!

All I can say is that you are a very strong, courageous person!

January 11, 2011 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger DaisyGal said...

the story feels so familiar to anyone that has gone through a break up but then it doesn't...looking at it with other eyes, with someone else's hurt.

It's a story that you are doing a good job telling...HUGS

January 11, 2011 at 1:05 PM  
Blogger Kristy said...

I have had a moment like this in my life (with a man before my husband), and I remember feeling ENORMOUS RELIEF when hanging up that phone.

January 11, 2011 at 2:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was looking forward to the next installment of this! Good for you for making a touch decision. Funny how the right thing to do rarely seems to be the easy thing to do.

January 11, 2011 at 5:35 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Oh so feels like the right choice!! Once again wonderful to read

January 11, 2011 at 7:12 PM  
Blogger TheBabyMammaChronicles said...

I'm so glad that we made it to this point where you get to be free to move on. You did the right thing Shell!

January 11, 2011 at 8:46 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Oh wow.I'm sad that it's over.I can feel the pain that you went through. I've had those tears before.

January 11, 2011 at 9:56 PM  
Anonymous Making It Work Mom said...

You are being so strong and well he can be a bit of a jerk.

January 11, 2011 at 10:53 PM  
Blogger ModernMom said...

So hard to listen to your head when your heart is screaming at you ...

January 11, 2011 at 11:41 PM  
Blogger Imaginative Me said...

OOh, I'm so intrigued. I need to go back and read the rest! Lovin' your writing though!

January 12, 2011 at 12:23 AM  
Blogger shortmama said...

No no no! Put the ring back on right now!

January 12, 2011 at 1:01 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I love your writing, Shell.

January 12, 2011 at 2:08 AM  
Blogger Nancy C said...

This story has been so heartbreaking and true. Is there a novel here?

January 13, 2011 at 7:18 AM  
Blogger Lady Jennie said...

I gave the ultimatum to my ex (who was also french) and he called my bluff - we broke up. But it was lucky because then I married my total Mr Right.

January 13, 2011 at 7:53 AM  
Blogger Joann Mannix said...

So sad, yet just closer steps bringing you to the life you lead now. Loved every bit of your story. I can't wait for more.

January 14, 2011 at 12:26 PM  
Blogger Alexis AKA MOM said...

Wow hun that is so moving and talk about hard. Girl your so brave the I could ever be, I love you share these.

January 14, 2011 at 2:21 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

Sniffle, sniffle. Now what's she gonna do?

January 15, 2011 at 9:21 AM  

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