The Year It All Goes Wrong

Knowing how they began, how much they loved...


It's hard to imagine them not being together forever.


Maybe it was too much change all at once.


He got out of the Marine Corps and went from feeling like he had a purpose to not knowing what he was going to do with his life. Working a job that was just temporary and going to school. Going from making twice as much as she did to making half as much as she did. Being back where he had grown up and people having certain expectations of him- very low expectations.


She moved for him. To a place that she'd never been to before. To a place where she would never have considered moving if it weren't for him. She thought it would be okay, since she had moved somewhere where she had known no one just the year before and that had turned out just fine. But, it was different when he knew people and she didn't.  She had loved her old job and though she got paid a lot more for her new job, she hated it and had a lot of free time on her hands with nothing to do.


And instead of only dating during the week and staying together during the weekends, they were now living together.


Too much change, all at once.


He wanted her to be things that she was not, things she had never been, to fit in with his old friends.


She wanted him to be the man she'd fallen in love with.


Neither could do it.


He came home from work one day in the worst mood she'd ever seen him in....up to that point, anyway. He had run into an old girlfriend of his and her mom. He was embarrassed that they saw him as being a nobody, someone who wasn't doing anything important with his life.


She reached for him and said, "But, you just got out of the military! You're going to school and this is all just temporary. You're going to be able to do whatever you want." She had complete faith in him.


He angrily shrugged her hand off his arm and stormed back out of their apartment.


She wasn't sure when it happened, but he stopped talking to her about anything important. Stopped touching her. Stopped looking at her.


And she felt so alone. Her job was one that kept her isolated, too. He was her only friend in this city and he was never around any more.


She sunk into depression.


He seemed angry with her all the time.


What had happened to that guy who had promised he'd love her forever?


Months passed and she hoped that somehow, they would be able to find their way back to how they had started. She still loved him so much.


He suggested that they go out with his best friend and his best friend's wife one night, to a club. His eyes daring her to tell him how much she really didn't like clubs, how she doesn't dance.


But, she agreed and went out shopping. Bought clothes that weren't like her. Leather pants that hugged her curves. A pink halter top, made entirely of sequins that covered little more than her chest in the front and was nothing but criss-crossed tying strings in the back. Heels. New make-up.


She got ready in their bedroom. Examing herself in the mirror. Knowing this was a desperate move on her part. That, though she looked like hot, this wasn't her. But, maybe it would please him.


When he saw her, his first reaction was what she wanted. He looked her up and down and smiled.


And then his expression hardened and he asked, "What are you doing in that?"


She shrugged, grabbed her jacket, and walked out the door.


Drinking way too much that night, she danced with the wife of his friend. And flirted with other guys. One asked her about the engagement ring on her finger and she yelled, "It means NOTHING! He doesn't want to marry me any more!" And she laughed in a way that bordered on tears.


The car ride back home was a quiet, tension-filled one.


As soon as they got home, she locked herself in the bathroom and ran the shower so that he wouldn't hear her crying.


She waited until she thought he was asleep before she crawled into bed beside him.  But, he was still awake.


"What was that tonight?" he asked.


"I'm just trying to make you happy. I thought maybe if I tried to be what you wanted, you would love me again."


"But, I still love you."


She held her breath, not sure if she wanted to know the answer to the question in her mind, but decided that she needed to know. "Do you still love me?"


"I do," he told her.


With that, he rolled over to face the wall, leaving her to think that he didn't really mean it.


She cried as quietly as she could, thinking that she couldn't keep going on like this very much longer. She loved him still- oh, so very much, still as much as she had before.


Last year, she'd never doubted his love for her. But, now.....


She didn't want this to end, even though it was painful to stay. She couldn't stand the idea of not being with him.

If you missed any of the story of my past, where yes, I talk about myself in the third person, you can check out these links to get caught up:

10 Days After the Hurricane
Was It a Big Mistake?
A Romance Grows
And Then He Left Her
She Moves for Him
The Waiting Game
The Engagement