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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out: A Glass of Friendship

If you need more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.

But, really, it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.

Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.
Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)


I don't make friends easily. I've mentioned that in passing a few times. Being the incredibly supportive women(mostly women anyway) that you are, you have given me reasons why you don't believe that.

But, like I told you in this post, I have had problems making female friends. Mostly, it stems from not ever having that sort of clique mentality, where you like or dislike someone based on what a group thinks- instead, I like who I like and dislike who I dislike- all based on my own reasons. In the land of junior high, that didn't fly. And there are those who have never left that mentality behind.

When I make a friend, I'm fiercely loyal. Because those friends mean the world to me. My friend Angie and I have been friends since we were four and I know that I can always count on her and tell her anything. And there's Supah whom I've known since our four year-olds were infants that we pushed in strollers around the zoo as we chased our toddlers- who is one of the most big-hearted and real friends you can find.

And then there are the friends that I've made through blogging. Some that I have had a chance to meet, some that I will meet someday, and some that I probably will never meet....but all feel like real friends. After all, I can tell you things here on my blog that I might have a hard time telling someone IRL. Because I'm so open here- can you imagine sitting down beside someone on a bench at the playground and just spilling all this? I would seem like a crazy person. But, in the blogworld, that is what we do. We share ourselves. I especially love the Pour Your Heart Out posts that you link up because it lets me see more of who you are when you share such personal things. And if you hop around and visit the links, you'll make friends, too.

That sharing we do on blogs...it makes me realize that blog friends are real. And mine are so diverse.  Some whose experiences I relate to and some whose experiences are incredibly different from mine. Yet, we connect.

And, whether I've ever met them IRL or not, I know that I can count on my friends. We get to know each other by reading each other's blogs. We email, tweet, bbm, facebook, etc, as we get to know each other better. And can cry out for help and have that cry be answered. Maybe it's prayers, support, opinions, suggestions, someone to celebrate a victory with us or even just someone to listen.

We need those connections. Our friends are so important.

And that's why I'm so excited to be a part of a very diverse group of bloggers who are working together for the month of September to celebrate National Women's Friendship Month- which is being expanded this year to be International Women's Friendship Month.  The intent of this month is to honor our friendships.

All month long, we will be hosting events, contests, reviews, giveaways, and Twitter parties all in the name of friendship!  You can check out Friends You Love to meet the other bloggers who are a part of putting this event together. We'll be posting more details of our events there in the coming days. I hope that you will participate in some of our upcoming events and celebrate friendship with us!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also have a hard time making/keeping women friends - but you are right, the blog-friends I have made feel like real connections, which is something I wasn't counting on when I started.
Your Pour Your Heart Out is a huge part of that - thank you. And good luck with Women's Friendship Month - it sounds like a great idea!

September 1, 2010 at 12:09 AM  
Blogger shortmama said...

Some of my blogging friends are my closest friends and Ive never met them! I love that about blogging!

September 1, 2010 at 12:15 AM  
Blogger Casey said...

I too have a hard time making fun. I have made a lot of blogging friends and they are real friends! I think the event is a great idea

September 1, 2010 at 12:18 AM  
Blogger Reagan said...

I love women friends but I have few "deep" relationships. Those few I have I've had for YEARS (we're talking nearly 30).

Like you I also think blog friends are "real" friends. I hope to meet some for real someday!

September 1, 2010 at 12:26 AM  
Blogger Reagan said...

I love women friends but I have few "deep" relationships. Those few I have I've had for YEARS (we're talking nearly 30).

Like you I also think blog friends are "real" friends. I hope to meet some for real someday!

September 1, 2010 at 12:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man, I love this idea. I think it is so important for women to celebrate their friendships. To put the focus on the positives. Thank you for telling us about this.

September 1, 2010 at 12:29 AM  
Blogger Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

I have met the nicest people and friends while blogging.....

September 1, 2010 at 12:33 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

You have been one of my first blogging friends and am so happy we connected. I truly have been blessed by knowing you. My dream is to meet you someday IRL!

I learned something about you tonight...I had no idea you and Supah went back so far...thought you met here in the blogging world.

I love ya Shell and so glad I can call you my friend!

September 1, 2010 at 12:45 AM  
Blogger Lourie said...

In high school I had more guy friends than girl friends. I am not that person who goes up to people and says "Hi! I'm Lourie!" No, I am the person in the corner, legs crossed, arms folded and staring at the floor. Once you get to know me, I open up and never shut up. Haha. I have made many friends in the blog world. I would love to meet them IRL someday!

September 1, 2010 at 1:14 AM  
Blogger That One Mom said...

Let the festivities begin!!!

September 1, 2010 at 1:20 AM  
Blogger adrienzgirl said...

Let's ROCK this joint! I am so glad you are such an amazing part of this event! You are amazing and I love your heart!

September 1, 2010 at 1:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love how you combined PYHO and FYL.

September is gonna be SO much FUN!

September 1, 2010 at 1:37 AM  
Blogger Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma said...

I hear you, it is tough to make friends IRL. Hell, I lived next door to Tammy for the last four years and we just became friends this past year. I like to joke that I am a hermit and stay inside to avoid contact with all the moms on the block but really I hid because I didn't think that I fit in with them. I'm glad that the kids playing together and going to school together in the neighborhood has pushed me out of my shell. It had been great to get to know them.

I am hoping that FYL will have a similar affect on my blog friendships. As soon as I get caught up review wise I will be focusing more on friendships and less on products. That's what really makes blogging enjoyable!

September 1, 2010 at 4:52 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

I try to get myself involved with things my kids do, it's about the only way I connect with other women. Problem is, I usually only click with one maybe two people there. Those don't always work into long term friendships, they may only last as long as that activity lasts.

In the 5+ years I have lived here, I have made 2 friends. The place I lived before for 10+ years, and I left with one lost, but recently re-found friend.

I also mentioned how in 8th grade my health teacher justified giving me a D because I didn't belong to a clique, therefore my emotional health was in jeopardy. He felt it necessary to point that out to students and their families.

September 1, 2010 at 6:46 AM  
Blogger Life Without Pink said...

What a great idea! I think it is a wonderful way to celebrate friendships because they are truly valuable! I have met so many bloggers online and a few of them have become real friends to me. Love this!

September 1, 2010 at 7:04 AM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

Blog freinds are real! Who knew? When I was watching Hurricane Earl on the news last night I was thinking of you. Thinking "Oh no, that's near Shell". Someone who I have never met, but consider a friend! :) I'm praying it goes back where it came from, sister!

September 1, 2010 at 8:03 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

What a great event!!

September 1, 2010 at 8:31 AM  
Blogger Di said...

What an awesome idea. Making female friends is so hard - especially once you are an adult taking care of house, family, work etc - it seems like you lack the time and energy a friendship needs at that point. Love it!

September 1, 2010 at 8:34 AM  
Blogger Eternal Lizdom said...

Yep- I totally love this and my post yesterday was certainly timely!!

September 1, 2010 at 8:41 AM  
Blogger June said...

September is going to be an awesome month!

So glad to being on board with you Shell!

September 1, 2010 at 8:42 AM  
Blogger Tylaine said...

Great post and great idea! I have such a hard time also making friends and being 1000 miles from the two I have is tough so this bloggy world has been great!

September 1, 2010 at 8:57 AM  
Blogger Ian said...

You put the word Diverse in there because of me, I just know it

September 1, 2010 at 9:01 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

What a fun idea! I'm going to have to check it out!

True friendships are so rare to come by - I am glad I have you!!

September 1, 2010 at 9:01 AM  
Blogger Mumsy said...

This post nails it for me on friendship! It's hard to make friends, but when I clicked with someone, I'm loyal and faithful. Friendship is worth celebrating..

September 1, 2010 at 9:02 AM  
Blogger Amethyst Moon said...

I have the same problem making women friends. I have a lot of friends, but none are the kind that you call up and share everything with. My IRL friends are great for a few good laughs,but when it comes to sharing everything and being close, it's just not there. I know it's me, and the guards I put up behind a veil of confidence. Only my hubby knows my insecurities, and the real me. But through blogging I feel like I can be me, and like you said lay it all out there. I love the connection I've made with bloggyland friends!
This is such a cool project. Can't wait to hear more.

By the way, thanks for Pour your Heart Out. In the whole scheme of things this week, it is one of the many pieces that just seemed to fall into place.

September 1, 2010 at 9:08 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

What an awesome idea!

It can be really hard to make female friends IRL because too many still have the clique mentality. I agree that it is easier to make friends through the blog world, and it can also make things easier if you do meet these people in real life.

September 1, 2010 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger Brandi said...

I used to think I had a hard time maintaining friendships with women (there was always SOME kind of drama). But then the interwebz brought some of the greatest women ever into my life. I love the internet! =) And I love my girlfriends. Women's Friendship Month is such a great idea.

September 1, 2010 at 9:26 AM  
Blogger SurferWife said...

I'm pretty sure my post for FYL was supposed to look more like this. Whoopsies.

Diverse group is right. ;)

September 1, 2010 at 9:55 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

I'm so glad to call you friend. So so glad.

September 1, 2010 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger blueviolet said...

I just followed that blog this morning!

September 1, 2010 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger Ma What's 4 dinner said...

I love you girl!!! This is why I wish we were neighbors.

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner

September 1, 2010 at 10:43 AM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

I have the hardest time making friends! I'm very blunt and honest and that can be really off putting and if I don't like someone I usually don't even try to hide it.

Look forward to seeing what you all come up with@

September 1, 2010 at 10:47 AM  
Blogger Melinda said...

I can relate. I am the same way about friendships. I've never been "clique-y" and didn't care much about having to be popular. Didn't fly in high school for me, either. I tend to have a lot of acquaintances, but only a few, very close friends. But they are the best. Like you, I'm fiercely loyal and they are to me, as well.

But I've found my blog friends to be amazing, too -- more real and transparent than a lot of people I know IRL. I love your blog and value you, my blog friend, because of your genuine heart and willing to be honest. And you are so incredibly supportive. Hope one day we can meet IRL. ;0)

September 1, 2010 at 10:48 AM  
Blogger Florida Girl Meets the Midwest said...

I'm with you, making friends is not easy. (I despise group think.)

What a fantastic idea. I will check it out.

September 1, 2010 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I am just like you, I have a hard time making friends and when I do, its for life whether they like it or not. ;)

September 1, 2010 at 10:52 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

EXCITED about the friends you love event!!!

I've talked before on my blog about friendship. It takes a lot for me to become friends with somebody. And I'm not talking about casual aquaintances, I'm talking about FRIENDS. Once you become a friend of mine I will move mountains for you. My best friend and I have been friends since we were 4 also. I'm sad, because while we've never been in a fight, I feel myself so far away from her. It's not her, it's me. I'm at a different point in my life than her, and hearing about the guys, the partying the clubs... it just GETS OLD! But I know that I will forever be friends with her.

I've been reflecting a lot lately on friends, blog friends, IRL friends and how each one is special in their own way.

And you, Shell, are an amazing blog friend! I'm so happy that I finally found you through the sweet and lovely Chelle :)

September 1, 2010 at 11:22 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

I can so relate to how hard it was growing up having "girl"friends. I just couldn't connect with them and had an easier time talking to boys and becoming friends with them. But when I did make friends with a girl I held on tight and would do anything for them. As I do now. If you're my friend I will be true to you. I stand up for my friends.
This is an awesome event you are involved in. I have met so many wonderful people through blogging and have connected with women I would never had just walked up to and said hi to. I cherish those friendships and even if I never meet them IRL I will always keep them close to my heart. I am glad that I found your blog, you're a great friend ad maybe one day we'll meet.

September 1, 2010 at 11:59 AM  
Blogger The Drama Mama said...

I get it. I don't think I am friends with any of my childhood friends today...I mean in our hearts my bff and I will always be friends, but we rarely talk and haven't seen each other since I was 18. The friends I am making in the blogosphere or even online are proving to be my strongest allies. I can totally relate to your post. I have a BFF in OK I have never met, but I would drop everything in a heartbeat and drive the 18 hours if she needed me. I know she would do the same for me.

September 1, 2010 at 12:15 PM  
Blogger Daisygirl said...

I think you are so awesome I have such a hard time seeing that you have a hard time making friends. You are so smart, funny, and freakin adorable! Love ya girl!

Friends are so important! I'll be back to link up today!

September 1, 2010 at 12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a hard time making women friends too. I didn't belong to a clique at all in grammar or high school. Like you, I liked who I liked. Which made me the outcast and picked on, even by teachers.

Even as an adult, I find it hard to make friends. I don't have the same background as some of the other Moms I've met. I can't relate to them and they can't relate to me. One person I consider a close friend is someone I met on a message board.

September 1, 2010 at 12:50 PM  
Blogger Jenn @ South of Sheridan said...

What a fantastic idea, I can't wait to learn more about it.

I too, don't have a lot of female friends ... and the ones I have seem to be getting less and less because I can't stand their lack of maturity. I've really come to cherish the women I've met online, because I feel closer to them than most people IRL.

September 1, 2010 at 1:09 PM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

I agree! I've made some of the most awesome friends through blogging :)

September 1, 2010 at 1:22 PM  
Blogger Beth Zimmerman said...

I would LOVE to join in some of these events! What a totally awesome idea! Thanks for sharing the link!

I related so much to what you have shared here. I consider the women in my office to be friends but we are together M - F 8 - 5 and that's it. No outside of work socialization. And then I have one friend where I feel like I have been the one who was constantly trying to keep the friendship moving to a level beyond casual and she kept pulling back. I've finally accepted that. We're still friends but not what I was hoping we would be. Only on my blog have I found the women that I consider my BEST friends. The ones that I can tell anything and they will still love me. That's one of the most precious things about blogging!

September 1, 2010 at 1:53 PM  
Blogger Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

Oh man I hear ya when it comes to making and keeping friendships with women. I have 3 best friends...one lives in PA, one in NV and the other in Belize!

Hmmm...I'm in Wisconsin!

Beautiful post. Friendships are so important and finding someone you trust is so hard these days. I'm glad I have my friends IRL and invisible!

I know we just started getting to know each other I hope to continue that!

September 1, 2010 at 2:01 PM  
Blogger Nancy C said...

I have found that blogging deepens my "in real life" connections because I articulate my thoughts so much better in writing. When they read my thoughts, our connection deepens. It's really been very cool to see my friendships deepen in this way.

September 1, 2010 at 2:14 PM  
Blogger Aging Mommy said...

I find it very hard to make new women friends too and I'd never thought about it the way you describe it but I think definitely in part because I too do not have that clique mentality and like individuals based on who and what they are. A lot of women though do like the group get together scenario and group activities and being defined that way. I cannot function in even a relatively small group of women either.

September 1, 2010 at 2:31 PM  
Blogger Ruby@Ruby'sMusings said...

For the first time in my life, I have no friends in the city that I live in. well except my daughters and my hubby,and I do count them. But I have no women friends, not ones I meet up with. So I am glad to see that I am not the only one that considers my online friends from FB and fellow bloggers as REAL friends. I would most certainly be lost without them.

I have not added my linky to the list cause I have already made a post for the day and it really in my opinion did not count as pouring my heart out...maybe it is, I dunno...but wanted to leave a comment.

September 1, 2010 at 3:09 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

What a great idea!
I have loved making such great friends online.

September 1, 2010 at 3:09 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

It's funny because I have talked to the hubs about my blog friends and he always seems confused or asks if they're a nursing school friend. LOL!!! I know what you mean though, I usually hung out with the boys for that reason, girls were too complicated!!! :)

September 1, 2010 at 3:13 PM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

What a fun thing to do! Blog friendships are definitely real, that's for sure! I never would've thought that I would meet so many awesome people, especially you, when I started my blog last October! We HAVE to go to another conference together next year!

September 1, 2010 at 3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there,

This is my first time linking to this meme. I needed to share somethings, so when I found this meme, I joined in as it was appropriate for my post. I've read every person's entry on the list and commented on the majority. Thanks so much for hosting.

I left yours for last. I too, don't make friends easily. Probably from my childhood that was spent in difficult situations with my family. Friendships were hard to form.

As an adult, I have many acquaintances. People I have pleasant conversations with from time to time.

However, I can count the amount of 'friends' I have on my fingers...and I am okay with that. I don't want or need many 'friends'. I'm not willing to share my life story with everyone either. I'm thankful for both groups in my life...I cherish friendships tenderly and appreciate the people that are in my life.

Wonderful post and love the meme.


September 1, 2010 at 3:26 PM  
Blogger Joy said...

It is amazing how supportive the blog world is. I think blogging and getting honest feedback from other people helps see things in your own life from a fresh perspective. I think that can be a wonderful thing!

September 1, 2010 at 3:50 PM  
Blogger Just Another Mom of 2 said...

Oh girl, I am the same way. I'm starting to lose count of the number of times I write about a lack of connection or fear of joining playgroups, because it can be so hard to meet and connect well with people. I look forward to meeting you sometime in the future!!

September 1, 2010 at 3:54 PM  
Blogger Whit said...

I am the exact same way. I actually started a bible study group for "young-ish" women in the town I live in to help us all through the things women deal with as well as grow closer to God and closer as friends/acquaintances. I have always been friends with guys. I'm 25 and have 2 girl friends I consider forever friends. One of them is my sister. I hope I can create lasting bonds with more women as I continue to grow and I hope you do too!!

Have a wonderful day!

September 1, 2010 at 4:10 PM  
Blogger Simoney said...

I Like the sound of that Shell!

For my PYHO post I've linked up my engagement story - today is our 10-yr engagement anniversary.
We made it this far :)

September 1, 2010 at 4:40 PM  
Blogger Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

I could have written a lot of this! I don't make friends easily, but once we're friends, we're stuck like glue.

September 1, 2010 at 5:28 PM  
Blogger From Tracie said...

That is such a fabulous idea! Friends are a precious thing that should be celebrated!

September 1, 2010 at 6:17 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Thanks for letting me pour my heart out. I think i needed it.

carol-the gardener.

September 1, 2010 at 7:31 PM  
Blogger Chelle said...

I know exactly what you mean about making friends, girl!

Heart you! And can't wait for this month!

September 1, 2010 at 8:54 PM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

LOVE your picture at the friend's blog.

September 1, 2010 at 9:57 PM  
Blogger shasta said...

Love this idea! Found you because I'm participating in The Friendship Circle's Month of Friendship so I saw a note about your blog promoting the concept too! Yay!

Also, wanted to let you all know, if interested, GirlFriendCircles.com actually matches you up in small groups with local women form your area for real conversation at cafes and wine bars! Super awesome way to make new friends with other fabulous women who value friendship! So if you want to expand your circle of friends, be sure to check it out! :)

Best to you,
introducing women. inspiring friends.

September 1, 2010 at 11:11 PM  
Blogger WhisperingWriter said...

I'm also a loyal friend.

It's sometimes hard for me to make friends though. I can be quite shy. And I'm told I'm weird.

September 2, 2010 at 12:35 AM  
Blogger The Princess of Sarcasm said...

I totally know you were talking about me up there even though you didn't link my name in the post. ;)

September 2, 2010 at 9:55 AM  

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