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Monday, August 30, 2010

How My Mom Got Me in Trouble in Kindergarten

With my oldest now in Kindergarten, he was asking me questions about when I was in Kindergarten.  There are a few memories that stand out: being the only one in my class who couldn't whistle(I still can't) and thinking I was going to be held back for it, the boy I had a crush on, my fabulous pink shoes, and then this memory....

When my brothers and I were young, we weren't allowed to have sugar. None. My mom wouldn't even allow for the pretty pink candies on top of my birthday cake when I SO wanted a Strawberry Shortcake Cake and begged and pleaded and promised that I wouldn't actually eat the candies, I just wanted to have a pretty cake. Instead, she made the icing pink with beet juice, put real strawberries on it, and put a paper cut-out of Strawberry Shortcake on top.  So not the same thing. I'm still bitter.

No breaking the no-sugar rule, not even for birthdays.

Mom used to tell us that she only gave us healthy things because she loved us. And sometimes she told us things that weren't true to get us to eat healthy.

Along comes kindergarten. Aside from the crooked bangs....wasn't I a cute little thing? Yes, my hair just spontaneously turned blond all by itself about ten years ago. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

We had half-day kindergarten and always had a snack each day. When our teacher would take roll call, we had to respond with what kind of milk we wanted for snack time. I looked around in horror at my classmates because I was the only one who responded that I wanted white milk. Everyone else said chocolate.

I felt like it was my duty to inform my little classmates about what exactly they were drinking because that was soooooooo gross.

The next morning, when our teacher called roll, not a single child requested chocolate milk.

Knowing something was up, the teacher went on a mission to find out exactly what had happened.

And ended up calling my mom because I was in T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

I had told everyone in the class what I thought to be the truth- because it's what my mom had told me- that the reason that their milk was brown was because a cow had POOPED in it. Groooooooooossssssss!


Blogger Oka said...

Ewwwww gross. What a way to embarrass your child. Were you actually in trouble???

August 30, 2010 at 7:15 AM  
Blogger cristina said...

That's so funny!

August 30, 2010 at 7:24 AM  
Blogger beemii said...

I am so glad I read your blog first. LMAO, that is too funny, but I so felt for you....

August 30, 2010 at 7:35 AM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

LOL. :)

August 30, 2010 at 7:37 AM  
Blogger For the Love of Naps - Sarah said...

that is great! Thanks for the monday morning smile!

August 30, 2010 at 7:57 AM  
Blogger Kristin @ Ellie-Town said...

Ha! So funny!

I, too, cannot whistle. Everyone in my family still makes fun of me about it!

August 30, 2010 at 8:21 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Ahhh the things moms tell their children.

My mother used to tell me that if I ate "raw" brown sugar that I'd get worms. Worms!

I believed her.

August 30, 2010 at 8:32 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Okay, that is hilarious!!!

And OMG, your boys look just like you at that age! Holy cow!

August 30, 2010 at 8:47 AM  
Blogger Tractor Mom said...

What us Mom's do to get our kids to eat healthy! Too funny!

Come by when you can...


August 30, 2010 at 8:50 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

That is too funny!

Beet juice icing - ew!!

August 30, 2010 at 8:59 AM  
Blogger Jules said...

Oh no.....what a cute story.

In order for my mom to keep us from eating ice cubes and choke on them she told us we would get worms if we ate ice....

August 30, 2010 at 8:59 AM  
Blogger sarah said...

i hate things like that...when I was young my parents (deeply religious) did not believe in Santa. They told us he was a lie. One more important piece to this story is my dad was a hell fire and brimstone baptist preacher... ok...here goes, we are in the grocery store, man gets in line behind us. Says to me "So little girl what is Santa bringing you for Christmas"? Being the absolutely ADORABLE four year old that I was... I looked him straight in the eye and announced very loudly "SANTA is a LIE straight from the gates of HELL". My mortified mother rushed us out of the store (she should have been mortified...OMG).

August 30, 2010 at 9:07 AM  
OpenID bluewhitelife said...

haha, gotta love when parents' little white lies bite them in the butt (because it's SO FUNNY afterwards, haha) I'm def gonna stay with white milk for now :)

August 30, 2010 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger Slacker Mom said...

That is too funny. I'm glad my grandmother would do stuff like that. It makes me remember not to do it to my kids.

August 30, 2010 at 9:27 AM  
Blogger Dazee Dreamer said...

I am so sad for you not being able to have a strawberry shortcake cake. I hope someone has given you one since.

And that is too freaking funny about the milk. omg.

August 30, 2010 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Aunt Crazy said...

That made me smile and laugh on this Monday morning! My stepmother used to tell her daughter that eating brussel sprouts would make her boobies grow, and wanting boobies more than anything in the world, my half sister believed her for years and ate those nasty looking brussel sprouts...LOL

August 30, 2010 at 9:41 AM  
Blogger Eternal Lizdom said...

Bwahahahaha!!! You have to watch what you tell your kids!!

August 30, 2010 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger Danielle said...

hahahahahh that is the BEST!

August 30, 2010 at 9:49 AM  
Blogger Goodnight moon said...

Loved it!!!!! Maybe if I tell my kids that, they won't ever want chocolate milk again? They think the chocolate milk comes from a.) chocolate cows and b.) a cow ate chocolate and peed out chocolate milk.

I gonna make you a Strawberry Shortcake cake with LOTS and LOTS of sugar!!!!

August 30, 2010 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

Hahaha, that is hilarious. You poor thing!! At least it was kindergarten and not an older grade where kids would remember forever that you said that....

August 30, 2010 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

LMAO! That is hilarious and so cute!

August 30, 2010 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger Venassa said...

Haha that is too funny. Must've been rough without sugar though. It's my main food group.

August 30, 2010 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger Mommy Lisa said...

So...I am thinking, "What is in strawberry milk?"

August 30, 2010 at 10:31 AM  
Blogger liz said...

NO WAY! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! what does your mom say about it now? great story!

August 30, 2010 at 10:36 AM  
Blogger Maggie S said...

What a shocker;-)

August 30, 2010 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger Frugal Vicki said...

OMG! I can't believe your mom told you that! I mean we joke around and say it comes from brown cows....but poop? That is just wrong. Too funny

August 30, 2010 at 10:59 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

That's hilarious. I bet your mom wanted to die. It was kind of like paying her back without even knowing you were doing it.

August 30, 2010 at 11:13 AM  
Blogger Miss Welcome said...

I am laughing so hard at this story! And you were a cute thing.

August 30, 2010 at 11:21 AM  
Blogger Di said...

LOL - That is priceless. How did she explain strawberry milk then? :)

August 30, 2010 at 11:21 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Really funny! Why do we lie to our kids instead of telling them the truth?

August 30, 2010 at 11:33 AM  
Blogger Cheryl D. said...

That is freakin' hilarious! I'm going to have a post tomorrow on sugar, ironically enough!

August 30, 2010 at 11:40 AM  
Blogger purseblogger said...

Oh man Shell, that is SO funny! I love it that your mom actually told you that. LOL

August 30, 2010 at 11:43 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

That would definitely be some nasty milk!

August 30, 2010 at 11:54 AM  
Blogger Just Another Mom of 2 said...

Hahahaha! Oh my, I never caused problems in school, but I am so nervous for the antics my kids may display.. Happy 1st day of kindergarten, to both of you!

August 30, 2010 at 11:58 AM  
Blogger CurlyJ said...

Ok so a few things...

My most prominent memory from Kindergarten? Our class only having 2 girls... and with me being one of them... I didn't have too many options unless I wanted to play with the boys... with cooties! I do remember having a crush on a few of them though ;)

I love your school photo!! You were so cute! I had the same hair thing... I was born with dark hair, all through elementary my hair was as blonde as could be, and then it got darker through high school. Weird!

My sister told me a similar thing about brown sugar!! hahah. It's too gross to mention on here lol but I asked my mom when she got home that night and she told me it wasn't true lol.

Thanks for sharing with us!! :)

August 30, 2010 at 12:01 PM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

AHHH!!! I can't believe your mom told you that. Hysterical!

Very cute pic by the way!

August 30, 2010 at 12:12 PM  

they DON'T poop in it?


August 30, 2010 at 12:16 PM  
Blogger Jene said...

Oh my goodness, that is hysterical! I know I'll have to choose my words very carefully when making a half-truth when it comes to Toddler Charlie.

August 30, 2010 at 12:16 PM  
Blogger Foursons said...

Bwahahahahaha! Classic! So what was your mom's reaction? What was the teacher's? Who told the class the truth?

August 30, 2010 at 12:50 PM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

hahahaha that's hilarious!

August 30, 2010 at 1:20 PM  
Blogger Jenn @ South of Sheridan said...

ahahaha. Love it! I'm sure it was mortifying at the time, but looking back on it is pretty funny. Beet juice icing? Yuck! lol

August 30, 2010 at 1:29 PM  
Blogger Aging Mommy said...

Oh my! I imagine your mother was so very embarrassed about that incident! So what happened after that, did everyone drink the poopy milk or the white milk?!?

August 30, 2010 at 1:50 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

LOL!!!! Shell, that's pure awesome!

August 30, 2010 at 2:14 PM  
Blogger Salt said...

Hahahahahahaha!!!! That is absolutely hilariously embarrassing. I'm sorry you got in trouble for something that was pretty much your mom's fault!

August 30, 2010 at 2:16 PM  
Blogger Jessica Nunemaker said...


We really limit sugar intake of our kids but, um, not exactly to that extreme! Ha ha!

August 30, 2010 at 2:19 PM  
Blogger The Mommy Mambo said...

If cows pooped chocolate we'd be rich off my grandfather's farm! LOL
Do you feel you are damaged from this upbringing? I'm worried for you. My mother and grandmother felt that some sort of sweet baked yumminess should always be available at home.
You poor dear :( Bless your beet stained heart!

August 30, 2010 at 2:33 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Thanks Shell! That was funny AND I now feels not so bad about the sugar that I limit my kids with. Turns out I'm not so extreme after all. ;-)

August 30, 2010 at 2:36 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

Ha! Thanks for the laugh on this Monday!! I can totally see your mom telling you that! (What a great memory you have btw... I don't recall much before age 15... LOL)

August 30, 2010 at 2:40 PM  
Blogger Nancy C said...

Did we have the same mom? Mine used to bring in carob-carrot bars for my birthday snack!

Also, HA on the poopy milk. LOVE IT.

August 30, 2010 at 2:46 PM  
Blogger shortmama said...

The things moms do for our childrens health!

August 30, 2010 at 2:46 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Pretty sure I'm going to use that one. Husband just yelled at me for calling the bottom of the apple a "poop shoot." Can't figure out how I'm going to keep a straight face when I hear about that one!

I love that your hair spontaneously turned blond too...you're so lucky! So is your colorist!!!

August 30, 2010 at 2:56 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Hee hee hee hee!!! That's funny. Oh, moms.

August 30, 2010 at 3:11 PM  
Blogger Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Hysterical!!!! I knew I loved you for good reason.

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner

August 30, 2010 at 3:31 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

SOO funny! I had a friend whose mother didn't allow sugar either - so she LOVED coming to my house!! lol

August 30, 2010 at 3:42 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

That was too damn funny. Meanwhile my kid, who we always tell that you can only get chocolate milk out at restaurants shocked us by breaking out the hershey's syrup, unscrewed his milk cup and decided to make his own chocolate milk over the weekend.

August 30, 2010 at 3:44 PM  
Blogger Lindsey said...

LOL, that's so funny. I bet your mom wasn't so pleased, though.

August 30, 2010 at 3:54 PM  
Blogger Christy said...

omg, that is way too funny! wow ... wonder what that car ride was like after school?

August 30, 2010 at 4:07 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Ha ha! That is absolutely HILARIOUS! I may use that one someday. PS, you were adorable!

August 30, 2010 at 4:15 PM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

That so sounds like something I would tell my kids! My Peanut can't have anything that is sugar-free because she has PKU, so sometimes I am super mean and I lie just so she won't eat my diet ice cream. And then I feel bad so I buy her special ice cream too!

August 30, 2010 at 4:44 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

That is so funny! Your mom was soooo wrong! LOL!!

August 30, 2010 at 4:58 PM  
Blogger Brandi said...

Oh, yikes! Did she fess up, or did she act like you made that up?

I only have a few memories from K. One that sticks out in my mind is that I was incredibly shy... so shy that the first week of school I had to pee really bad, but I was afraid to speak up and ask where the bathroom was. I ended up holding it until the end of the day and I wet my pants on the walk home (we lived on base and I walked 2 blocks or so to school by myself). I got home and my mom was furious! Nice memory, right?

BTW, you were ADORABLE (and I'm not just saying that b/c I saw your tweet)! ;)

August 30, 2010 at 5:17 PM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Oh that's CLASSIC! Definitely a lesson to mom's everywhere...be careful what you teach, because your children will share the wealth! Thanks for the laugh!

August 30, 2010 at 5:24 PM  
Blogger blueviolet said...

Every single one of them believed you too! If I had been you, I would have gone for the chocolate milk behind my mom's back!

August 30, 2010 at 5:26 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Oh my that is stinkin hilarious!!!!! Reminds me of the time my dad told me that the "Falling Rock" signs were because of the ghost of an Indian chief who threw rocks on cars. I hated canyons for years. That is too funny!

August 30, 2010 at 6:02 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Shell, that is AWESOME! I am still smiling about it :)

I can't whistle either...

August 30, 2010 at 7:05 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Lol! That is hilarious! I knew a girl who's dad would tell her she had paws..so she went to kindergarten believing so.

August 30, 2010 at 7:15 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

Okay...a few things first: I can not whistle either. For my kindergarten picture, my bangs were non-existent since I had cut them.

Now...I did NOT see that coming. I totally expected you start asking for chocolate milk! I don't think my mom ever told me anything beyond eating too much junk would make stomach hurt. Which is pretty true.

August 30, 2010 at 7:20 PM  
Blogger Mungee's Ma said...

That story is AWESOME. So, when did you finally have sugar?

August 30, 2010 at 7:26 PM  
Blogger Lucky's Luna said...

Haha wow, I might not drink chocolate milk for awhile even though I know its not true! That is gross, cute story!

August 30, 2010 at 8:21 PM  
Blogger Sharlene T. said...

To keep my youngest from gulping her sandwiches, I told her to watch out for the cheese pits... which, of course, she forewarned her little classmates about... she came home and said her teacher said there was no such thing... "how could you do that, to me, Mom; I'm just a kid," she says... but, she did have sugar in her world...

August 30, 2010 at 8:56 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

LOL! That is great.

I may have to tell my kids so that they stop liking choc milk. ;)

August 30, 2010 at 9:20 PM  
Blogger Tara R. said...

And my college classmate was worried about spaghetti. That is hilarious!

August 30, 2010 at 9:48 PM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

OMG, you freakin kill me.
First, yes, you're adorable. Crooked bangs, curly curls, healthy-no-sugar-body & all :p
Second? Your teacher must have laughed and laughed and laughed at you. Behind your back, of course.

August 30, 2010 at 9:49 PM  
Blogger Daisygirl said...

No sugar? none at all! Wow K your mom totally has mine beat now!

Love this story...hilarious!

August 30, 2010 at 9:52 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

That is hilarious and sooooooo gross!!!

August 30, 2010 at 9:57 PM  
Blogger Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Ha! I love it! My best kindergarten story is only that I pee'd myself.

August 30, 2010 at 10:31 PM  
Blogger Two Normal Moms said...

Oh my - that is HILARIOUS! Too funny


August 30, 2010 at 11:12 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

O....M....G. That's hilarious! I read it to my hubby and he literally put his head down on his desk and started cracking up.

Ah the crap (pun intended) our parents used to tell us.

Melissa (adventuroo.com)

August 30, 2010 at 11:31 PM  
Blogger Sherri said...

That's funny! Those crazy moms...won't happen to us, though.

August 30, 2010 at 11:36 PM  
Blogger WhisperingWriter said...


Crazy parents.

My parents told me that vegetables were candy and when I got to preschool I informed a kid that his carrot was candy and he was all, "No it's not!" Then I was pretty pissed that my parents lied to me.

August 31, 2010 at 12:20 AM  
Blogger cornflakegirl74 said...

LMAO!!! That is hysterical. This story reminds me of the "fun" foods my mom used to try to trick us into eating, too. Like rhubarb cherry birthday cake. Nothing like a room full of screaming 4-year-olds!

Awww, you're the cutest little bug in that photo!

August 31, 2010 at 9:38 AM  
Blogger The Princess of Sarcasm said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE FREAKIN' ADORABLE!! LIKE SERIOUSLY, THE CUTEST KID EVER ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!!! <--trying to redeem myself

But really, how could you expect anyone to get past the staunch no sugar rule or the cow poop milk story?!

Just wondering what your mom's stance on sugar is now that she has grandkids....

August 31, 2010 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Aha hahahaha! that is seriously funny! I can't believe the teacher cared enough to find out what you told your classmates. That was the difference between yesterday and today. Teachers today (most I am saying, not all) wouldn't bat an eye at such a request by the class.

And even with your crooked bangs, you were a cutie!!

August 31, 2010 at 10:16 AM  
Blogger A Dorky Girl said...

I'm just catching up and that was the funniest thing I've read in a while. I hope you didn't get in trouble for sharing the good news with your friends.

August 31, 2010 at 12:58 PM  
Blogger Pink said...

Oh so that's how chocolate milk is made ;) Love that your mom made a strawberry shortcake look-a-like and that your still 'bitter' : )


August 31, 2010 at 1:34 PM  
Blogger Loukia said...

Oh, that is hilarious!

August 31, 2010 at 2:32 PM  
Blogger Marketing Mama said...

OMG, this is hilarious! (and I can't whistle either!)

August 31, 2010 at 4:38 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Hilarious. And yet, you still became a teacher...I had a funny Kindergarten milk story as well...I didn't think I wanted one so I didn't get one during milk break. However, I changed my mind while the girl who sits across from me was in reading group and I decided to get up and drink hers. I got busted pretty quickly.

It was chocolate. I clearly didn't get your memo.

I have one that started Kindergarten this year, too...I can't believe my oldest is starting "real" school!

Natalie at Mommy on Fire

August 31, 2010 at 10:48 PM  
Blogger Meeko Fabulous said...

I can't whistle either! And that's a cute story!

September 1, 2010 at 7:05 PM  
Blogger KT said...

That is awesome. My mom told us some stories about Twinkies and Ho-hos so I have NEVER had either in my life. My husband looks at me in horror, but whatever my mom told me has stuck in my brain and I refuse to try them now. They are just automatically disgusting.

September 2, 2010 at 3:53 PM  
Blogger Rachel Elizabeth said...

Truly amazing story.

September 2, 2010 at 6:32 PM  

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