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Monday, September 27, 2010

I'm Excited to Be Dumb! And The Meaning of Friendship

Do you know what is better than spending the weekend away and coming home to find your husband cleaned the house and has a new appreciation for all that you do? Absolutely nothing.  Having the honor of being  a part of Dumb Mom's NEW and IMPROVED ifriends. So please, go check out her newest brain child. We are both talking about keeping it real. Her commentary on my guest post is hilarious. I wish I could be as dumb fabulous and witty as she is.



If you happen to be here from Dumb Mom's blog, and you want to see what my writing is like when it is not accompanied by Dumb Mom's commentary, click HERE. Because the fabulous post below was not written by me.


This month, I have been a part of Friends You Love, a diverse group of 15 bloggers who have been celebrating International Women's Friendship Month. I love getting to know new people.  On Mondays, we encouraged you to pick someone who follows your blog but isn't the most regular of commenters and ask them to guest post for you.


FriendsYouLove
 

For my final choice for this blog hop, I picked royalty. Going out with a bang, you know. I asked The Empress, aka Alexandra from Good Day, Regular People. Though we do read each other's blogs, I'm not breaking the rules of the hop by having her guest post because she's not a regular on here. How dare she have better things to do than comment on every single post I ever write. But, like Dumb Mom, she's incredibly witty and I knew she would write something about friendship that would make you think. Plus, I get the feeling that she doesn't like me and I wanted to prove that I'm not an evil witch like I feel like she has been led to believe.



When Shell so graciously asked me if I'd like to write a guest post on friendship, I jumped at the opportunity. Friendship is a subject that is so very important in my life. "Yes!" I replied with way too much eagerness, "yes!"


"This will fly off my fingertips," is what I thought. "I won't be able to stop typing."


And, then, when I sat down to write, I sat. Just that. No words would come. There were too many fighting to be on the page. I sat, with my notebook open, my pen still, and wondered how I could capture all the feelings I have down about friendship, in one post.


What do I cover first? The story on how friendship has saved my life? Or do I talk about the kindness of a stranger that grew into a friendship? And I had to be sure to talk about how my friends can make me feel as young as a giggling teenage girl again.


The more I thought of what I had to be sure to cover, the less I was able to write.


Our English language is woefully inadequate and lacking when it comes to the definition and description of friendship.


There really are no words, there is only a mental image. The expression, "a picture is worth a thousand words," fits so aptly here. When you mention the word friendship to me, my mind is flooded with hundreds of smiling, beaming, radiant faces. I see my friends throughout my life. From when I was in kindergarten, to the most recent friends I've made here, when I began to blog.


It makes me think, is friendship a word, or is it an emotion?


It surely is a precious thing, for at the times I've been without it in my life, my days have never been darker, or heavier. Friendship means so much to me, that I value it, and esteem it, and appreciate the blessings that I have in my friends. I do not take knowing them for granted, for I know the richness of having a friend placed in my life.


If I were to write of the many, many times in my life, that my friends have come to my side, this post would have no ending. And, still, when I'd hit Publish, I'd yet remember another story that I neglected to mention.


I've had valleys in my life, where I've had no hand to hold, no arm placed around my shoulder, no ear to listen, hear, and understand. Times when I've not been able to lessen my pain, and halve my burden, by the gift of sharing it.


A friend will make the difference in your day, make things feel not quite as heavy and impossible anymore.


A friend will multiply your joy at good news, and rejoice with you when happy things are to be shared.


A friend will beam with pride at your accomplishments, and share the joy they feel at knowing you, with others.


And is there anything more delicious than laughter to the point of tears, with a good friend?


A friend is an ear, a heart, a hand. They will help you cross that bridge you need to cross: be it good or bad. They will help you carry what you need help carrying. Whatever it may be: work, family, changes, anything you may need their help with. They will get you to the other side.


One of the truest adages I read on friendship struck me to the core, because it feels so true, is the following, "In life, a friend feels so instantly familiar because they have already been chosen for you."


Thank you, to my friends, and thank you, for the gift of friendship I've had in my life. I hope I've been there as your lifesaver, as you have been for me. You save me every day. I've lived life without you before, and though it took a long while to find you, you were so worth the wait. Because since having spent time without you, I now feel the sweetness of the time spent with you.


Thank you, Shell, for giving me the space here, to think about something so very important and precious in my life: friendship.

Ironically, Alexandra just wrote a post about guest posting, so please show her that this was worth her time. Nothing worse than hearing crickets. So, please leave a comment and go visit her, too. A-hem, same goes for my guest post over at Dumb Mom. *hint, hint, obnoxious begging*

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50 Comments:

Blogger purseblogger said...

This is a beautiful post. I couldn't agree more with her thoughts on friendship. Great post girl!

September 27, 2010 at 12:26 AM  
Blogger The Empress said...

Thank you, Shell, for the sincere compliment of being asked to post here.

I do enjoy your blog, your writing, and your posts.

What I can't seem to conquer, and don't know how you do it, is finding time to read and visit and respond back.

Please? A post from you, on how you do it?

Thank you. And your guest post over at Parentingbydummies? A WONDERFUL READ!!!

Thank you, Shell. I really had a great time here.

September 27, 2010 at 12:43 AM  
Blogger adrienzgirl said...

For not being able to find the words, um...she sure did a bang up job describing friendship!

Great guest post!

September 27, 2010 at 12:47 AM  
Blogger Sharlene T. said...

I agree with the Empress... How do you do it?... Post, please...

September 27, 2010 at 3:24 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Congrats on your feature at pBd!!

As for the guest post by Empress:

"A friend is an ear, a heart, a hand. They will help you cross that bridge you need to cross: be it good or bad. They will help you carry what you need help carrying. Whatever it may be: work, family, changes, anything you may need their help with. They will get you to the other side." What a great summary of friendship. I wholeheartedly agree!

September 27, 2010 at 8:36 AM  
Blogger Hanna said...

Hi there. I am your newest follower from the blog hop! Lovely blog! You can find me at www.bouffeebambini.blogspot.com

September 27, 2010 at 8:49 AM  
Blogger alicia said...

You really do have a way with words; a gift. I love this. And what you say rings so true. Thanks for sharing your words with us.

September 27, 2010 at 9:14 AM  
Blogger tulpen said...

Really Sweet Empress.

In my life, I love how two out of my four sisters have ended up being my best friends. And find it interesting that the other two have not.

Also? My last post was about friendship.

September 27, 2010 at 9:15 AM  
Blogger Gigi said...

I'd say you're back with a vengeance, my friend!!! Very nice!

I like the question: is it a word, or an emotion?

I think it's a state of being, with those you are lucky to call friends.

I am lucky to call you a friend. :)

September 27, 2010 at 9:20 AM  
Blogger That One Mom said...

What an excellent and thought provoking post!

September 27, 2010 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Happy Monday.. It is great to meet new people..
Have a great week..

September 27, 2010 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

Nicely said, Empress. I find that adage to be true as well. I have always "recognized" friends quickly after meeting them.

September 27, 2010 at 9:26 AM  
Blogger Brian Miller said...

nice. good friends are a treasure...sometimes hard to find but once you do hang onto them they only go up in value.

September 27, 2010 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I have just loved all these posts of friendship.

September 27, 2010 at 9:46 AM  
Blogger One Cluttered Brain said...

i too am grateful for all the friends i make blogging and otherwise.
I don't know what I would do without my friends.
Friendship indeed might be an emotion...Great post Alexandra!

September 27, 2010 at 9:53 AM  
Blogger Life Without Pink said...

What a great heartfelt post...I especially love the statement, "A friend will make the difference in your day, make things feel not quite as heavy and impossible anymore."

So true. Great post!

September 27, 2010 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

That was a great post... I follow her and LOVE what she has to say!!

September 27, 2010 at 10:37 AM  
Blogger cornflakegirl74 said...

I love this. I also love Alexandra so I was very happy to see her guest posting here today. We recently hosted our very own "Mutual Admiration" meeting. It was all very hush-hush and exclusive, really, but nothing short of ridiculously awesome.

I have been giving much thought to this as well and how friends are really what keep me grounded when the going gets tough. Over the years, the pool is a bit smaller than it once was, but I am truly blessed to have found a core group of girls I can count on for anything (and obviously that friendship is mutual). It's important to recognize these special friends in our lives and this post is a reminder that I should tell them more often just what they mean to me.

September 27, 2010 at 10:44 AM  
Blogger Helena said...

This post made me think hard about friendship. I loved it.

September 27, 2010 at 11:12 AM  
Blogger Loukia said...

Aw. Great post.

September 27, 2010 at 11:29 AM  
Blogger F (The Very Subjective) said...

I was reading this and smiling and lighting up like a light bulb while reading these words about friendship. and I was thinking about my friends. it is nice to know, that someone knows, what friendship is.

September 27, 2010 at 12:18 PM  
Blogger Mama Zen said...

This is so true!

September 27, 2010 at 12:24 PM  
Blogger The Drama Mama said...

Wow!! Some really fabulous guest blogging is going on this week!! I absolutely adore the Empress. I adore Shell too, AND Dumb Mom. Thank you too all of you for your beautiful writing and turning my bleary, rainy Monday into something fabulous.

I LOVE the outlook on friendship. You are so very right, too. Friends are a blessing, whether they are there for life or for a moment.

September 27, 2010 at 1:06 PM  
Blogger Flying Giggles and Lollipops said...

This post definitely makes me think about friendship, beautiful post...love it!

I have something waiting for you at http://www.flyinggigglesandlollipops.com/2010/09/blog-awards-tag.html

September 27, 2010 at 1:08 PM  
Blogger Joann Mannix said...

Thank you my dear, wonderful Empress for being my friend. You are a rare gem, indeed.

And thank you Shell. I have been honored to get to know you and call you one of my true, real blog friends.

You both are an inspiration.

September 27, 2010 at 1:18 PM  
Blogger Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points said...

Oh my...such a complicated set of things wrapped up in such a simple word...

Love, history, need, expectation, reward, challenge...all hidden on that six-letter word.

Beautiful post, dear lady.

September 27, 2010 at 1:34 PM  
Blogger Kristy said...

Great guest posters! I luv them both and they are both so unique!

"In life, a friend feels so instantly familiar because they have already been chosen for you."

I had never heard that saying before and I truly love it!

September 27, 2010 at 2:31 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

love to love you, A!

and nothing beats laughter with girlfriends to the point of tears. except maybe for laughter to the point of tears while eating a s'more. that might do it.

September 27, 2010 at 2:35 PM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

Well you saved the royalty for last, didn'tcha?! I love this write up, especially "is friendship an emotion." Wow. Thinking back through the years, it's amazing how many have come and gone, and who remains.

September 27, 2010 at 3:29 PM  
Blogger Nancy C said...

You are such a good writer. I love the line about giggling like a teenage girl. That's exactly what friendship does: transports you to your purest, most joyful self.

September 27, 2010 at 3:39 PM  
Blogger Joy said...

I love her writing. There is so much to say when you think about something so complex as friendship and she did it beautifully. I loved the quote about how a friend is someone who has been chosen for you.

September 27, 2010 at 3:49 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

What a great post. And yes, it is hard to summarize friendship. I think it was beautifully written.

September 27, 2010 at 3:52 PM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

What a wonderful post! I loved reading it and meeting one of your friends.

September 27, 2010 at 3:55 PM  
Blogger Dalia (Generation X Mom) said...

Always love reading what you have to say! You are a born writer.

September 27, 2010 at 4:07 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

Thank you all for your wonderful, kind comments.

Shell really has some of the best readers, I see this.

I will be visiting you all, after H.S. football, gradeschool soccer, and piano lessons...oh, and dinner.

But, I will be by.

And thank you so much for your kind words.

September 27, 2010 at 4:53 PM  
Blogger KLZ said...

You are a wonderful woman. I have no doubt that the friendships that have blessed your life have been plentiful for that reason.

September 27, 2010 at 4:56 PM  
Blogger Miss Welcome said...

OOH I get to say hi to two blog friend at once - Shell and Emp. Hiiiiii

Great writing. Emp, you probably had trouble thinking what to say cuz you live it, not talk about it.

September 27, 2010 at 5:14 PM  
Blogger Melissa (Confessions of a Dr. Mom) said...

Beautiful post about friendship Alexandra. "Is friendship a word or an emotion?" I really love that.

Thank you for reminding me to keep my friendships dear and to cherish them. :)

September 27, 2010 at 5:34 PM  
Blogger Mrs.Mayhem said...

These views about friendship are just so lovely. I totally agree that "there really are no words, there is only a mental image." So true! Friendship is an image full of colors that are warm and comforting.

September 27, 2010 at 5:48 PM  
OpenID The Flying Chalupa said...

So true and so sweet. Love the part about a friend being a hand, an ear, etc. YES! A friend is an appendage. And when that friendship is lost, you feel the pain of that phantom limb. But when you have it, when you move it and use it and revel in it, you are made better.

September 27, 2010 at 7:02 PM  
Blogger Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

So glad I already have breakfast with a friend scheduled this week. If I didn't, I'd have to get on the phone right now!

September 27, 2010 at 8:13 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

Lovely guest post! I read both of your blogs and love you both.

September 27, 2010 at 9:34 PM  
OpenID onlyoublog said...

I love "nothing worse than hearing crickets." Boy do you know how to pick them, Alexandra! Or I guess in this case you were picked :-)

Thanks for this. So appropriate, as I have been thinking of you, as I have fallen behind reading yet again (work deadlines around the corner). I agree that there is so much to write about on the topic and yet nothing at the same time - where would you begin?? Friendships are amazing and livesaving and hard and rare. They are a major reason I am grateful to be a woman - I do think there is something about the bonding of women, and as mothers. Motherhood brings friendships to a different level as well.

September 27, 2010 at 10:07 PM  
OpenID onlyoublog said...

I love "nothing worse than hearing crickets." Boy do you know how to pick them, Alexandra! Or I guess in this case you were picked :-)

Thanks for this. So appropriate, as I have been thinking of you, as I have fallen behind reading yet again (work deadlines around the corner). I agree that there is so much to write about on the topic and yet nothing at the same time - where would you begin?? Friendships are amazing and livesaving and hard and rare. They are a major reason I am grateful to be a woman - I do think there is something about the bonding of women, and as mothers. Motherhood brings friendships to a different level as well.

September 27, 2010 at 10:07 PM  
Blogger C.Mom said...

Yes, yes, and yes! I often think about friendship---because I have friends that say I am not a good "girlfriend." I think that my problem is that I do not see friendship as a tightly defined word--it is what works for two people- or a group of people. Whatever they need--knowing what they need...and not expecting things of people just because.

September 27, 2010 at 10:34 PM  
Blogger Ann Imig said...

I'd never heard that adage. I really like it.

September 27, 2010 at 10:45 PM  
Blogger Ash said...

A word or an emotion? Love that.

Some friendships can be more complicated than marriages. But you're correct, they're worth it.

September 27, 2010 at 11:17 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

I dig the Empress as a blogger and a person.

Also, I'm really happy for you that your husband cleaned your house. That's just excellent, and I think he is to applauded.

September 27, 2010 at 11:21 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

I love the Empress. And this post is part of the reason why...her writing is beautiful!!

I'll check out your guest post tomorrow. I have to go watch some TV with the husband before he disowns me for having an affair with the computer ;)

September 27, 2010 at 11:45 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Sigh. What else to say? I'm honored to call both of you bloggy friends.

Hey Shell - you know what would be fun? I think you should do a series of FRENEMY posts. Could you imagine?

September 28, 2010 at 9:36 PM  

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