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Thursday, July 22, 2010

BFF: Let's Not Talk About Motherhood for a Change...



On to this week's....but, wait, I have to make a little change, just for this week:

Because this week's BFF is Ian from the Daily Dose of Reality.  You may already know him as the host of Monday Minute or the organizer for Mission Monkey.  While he's kind of a rarity in some of our "blog circles," being a guy, he's definitely one that I always feel like I can talk to- as evidenced by the countless emails that we shoot back-and-forth on a regular basis. I consider him to be a true friend.


We often hear about motherhood on blogs, but today, Ian is sharing his views on fatherhood.  

Hello, this is Ian from the Daily Dose of Reality or DDoR or whatever you would like to call me.  I labored over what to post about every since Shell said she wanted to feature me.  First off, I want to thank Shell for giving me the opportunity to write anything on her blog, much less being a BFF.  All of her prior BFFs she's known a heck of alot longer than I(Shell's note- this is not true. BFF is not determined by length of time I've known a blogger) so when I say this is a special nod, I really mean it.  So off to what I'd like to write about.


Fatherhood.


Fatherhood is rarely mentioned around these parts as most of you are women.  Well, duh.  I don't mind being among a sea of women.  I have three step sisters, and two half sisters.  To say I am inundated with women in my life is an understatement.  Heck, that might explain these mood swings.  Kidding.  Everyone knows guys have PMS too. 


I am the father to Mr. C.  Mr. C is my four year old phenom.  When the wife and I were trying to get pregnant, I always was scared in the back of my mind that whatever child I bore, he/she would be a hellion.  I was just that growing up.  Not that I was bad, but I still have ADHD, and back when I was a kid it was awful.  I couldn't sit still for two seconds.  Destruction and bad grades were the norm and I was fearing that would happen, but I was prepared.  One of the things I still can't do is read "long" posts so I'll try and keep this short.  That and my thoughts are always all over the place so keep up.  Or try to at least :)


Fortunately none of that happened, and let me take you back before Mr. C was born for a minute.  The wife and I tried IUIs, and IVF and after four grueling years of trying, Mr. C was born.  I could not be happier to be a father.  The wife and I both work and Mr. C goes to daycare, a school-like environment where he thrives.  We work with him all the time, the constant learning process.  Given the fact that he loves to read and learn, we try our best to enhance his learning.


He's tested once a year on his reading and comprehension skills and consistently scores 12-16 months ahead of his age.  Where he got that I have no idea.  I am so proud of him let me tell you.


I would rather come home and spend time with him at nights and go nowhere other than to be with him and the wife on the weekends.  Not to say we don't get together with family or friends, but he's all we got.  Infertility has prevented us from having another so we treasure our son.  We have never been on vacation without him and he's stayed over the inlaws only a handful of times.  We don't spoil nor shelter him but he's the light of our eyes, our favorite person in the world and we wouldn't have it any other way.


So let me tie this back to Fatherhood.  So many times in real life and hearing stories of fathers not being there enough or ignoring their wives or kids.  That makes me sick.  In our house we split everything down the middle.  No matter what the chore the wife or I do it.  Laundry, cleaning, you name it.  It gets done together.  And when it comes to Mr C., we always do things together, all three of us.


This fall he will start soccer, his first organized sport.  The wife the other day asked me if I wanted to be a coach and tears rolled down my eyes.  I told her I can't only because I have no idea what to do, but rest assured next year, and every year after that I will coach him to victory.  For he is my son, and I will always be there for him in each and every way.  I am the proudest father on the planet and he's MY BFF.


Thank you Shell for letting me share my story of Fatherhood!


Please leave some comment love here for Ian and then go follow his blog if you don't already!





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62 Comments:

Blogger Kerri said...

Brought tears to my morning eyes. Great post Ian.

July 22, 2010 at 7:56 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

I think you are my hero...well, my dad rates pretty high too...in fact, y our description of you as a child reminds me of the stories about my dad, who I think if he was a boy today would be diagnosed with ADHD...he once managed to light an entire field on fire because he was just "looking at a leaf through a magnifying glass: :)

July 22, 2010 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger Brandi said...

Seriously, I was misting up a little too, dammit... and I'm not a crier.

My hubby has ADHD and has suffered since childhood, back when there wasn't a diagnoses except for 'hyper' or 'bad kid.' He feared having any of our children be like him, but our oldest couldn't be more like him if he had been cloned. And, that's not a bad thing. :)

July 22, 2010 at 8:20 AM  
Blogger Heidi said...

Ian , Oh-so-awesome of you to participate with us girlies! - Your love and dedication for your role as hubby/father comes shining through in your post, keep up the great attitude!

Shell, who does your cartoons? So fun!

And of course I cast my vote for your post for the Not Mom of the Year (how did I miss the fabulousness that was that post the first time around?!) :)

July 22, 2010 at 8:47 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

I love this post! I haven't heard too much of the father side of DDoR.

I just signed my kids up for soccer again. It is so much fun! From what I understand the league helps the coaches who don't know what to do, but that doesn't mean they will ever rope me into coaching!

July 22, 2010 at 8:54 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Nice to meet you, Ian! How refreshing to get thoughts on fatherhood instead of motherhood :). It sounds like Mr. C is lucky to have parents who care for him so much!

July 22, 2010 at 8:55 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Shell, love the guy character you used. That made me smile!!

Ian, great post. you can tell you're an awesome dad!

July 22, 2010 at 9:01 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

Yes! Ian is the man!!! Love him! :)

July 22, 2010 at 9:07 AM  
Blogger Ash said...

Awww. Enjoy the estrogen cocoon of love.

Our 4-year-old starts soccer this Fall as well. Fair warning, have a hanky ready when you see him for the first time in his little uniform. Nothing is sweeter, cuter, more tears-of-pride inducing. Which totally helps the frustration factor when the herd is either chasing the ball or looking for dandelions.

Great choice Shell. I adore Daddy Bloggers, and Ian does not disappoint.

July 22, 2010 at 9:15 AM  
Blogger Andrea (ace1028) said...

Fantastic post, Ian. I love to hear the Dad's perspective, most definitely. :)

July 22, 2010 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Don'tcha know I was just telling my husband last night that I only read blogs by women. It was very refreshing to here from a dad! Looking forward to snopping around your place Ian!

July 22, 2010 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger Brittney said...

wow Ian that was beautiful! Its so great to hear a father express his love for his son. There are so many out there that just dont care but you my friend are of the select few that really show how compassionate you are about being a father! Thats awesome, and I love that you refereed to him as your BFF!

July 22, 2010 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger Dina said...

Ian I loved this post, we also only have one 5 year old boy and there are no more in our future. My husband works and travels quite a bit, like you he comes home and treasures his moments with Casey. he never complains that I need to go out a get a little break, because for him being with my son is a pleasure not work like some fathers seem to view being with their kids. I see and hear it from mothers all the time. And you can coach soccer most coaches for this age group are volunteers that have no clue what they are doing...lol

July 22, 2010 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

Nice to hear from a dude :)
You know I'm on the phone which ain't easy but I'll try to get to Ian's soon!

July 22, 2010 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger tessica said...

it is so nice to hear a father's side
and it is obvious ian is an amazing father!
thank you for sharing!

July 22, 2010 at 9:42 AM  
Blogger Southern Reflections said...

How nice to have a different perspective!! Great guest post!! :o)

July 22, 2010 at 9:47 AM  
Blogger Southern Reflections said...

Absolutely admirable father btw!!!

July 22, 2010 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger chele said...

Nice to "meet" you Ian. I love hearing from Dads and how they feel about parenting. Sounds like you are doing a great job.

July 22, 2010 at 9:49 AM  
Blogger heavenisabookstore said...

Great to hear from the other side of the parenting fence. Nice post!

July 22, 2010 at 9:51 AM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

Ian is a fantastic father, husband and friend to all of us girls!

July 22, 2010 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I think Ian is a wonderful dad... and that is one of the most admirable things of a man - being a great father.

July 22, 2010 at 10:10 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Great post.. made me cry over my coffee. It's nice to know that there actually are more decent men in this world. Your son (&wife) are blessed to have you.

July 22, 2010 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger Di said...

That was awesome! I hope that when Jellybean comes out my hubby feels the same way as Ian does about Mr. C. Truly amazing to read such a dedicated and proud father's perspective!

July 22, 2010 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

What I love about Ian is his honesty...whether it's sentimental like this post or crass about subjects. What you see is what you get. I love it!

He's a good man in the truest sense.

Proud to call him my friend!

July 22, 2010 at 10:45 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Oh, Ian ... this brought tears to my eyes! You remind me so much of my husband. You're both great fathers with very lucky little children. :)

July 22, 2010 at 11:10 AM  
Blogger Reagan said...

What a fun post--man perspective is so valuable! And my DH agrees with the man PMS stuff--He calls it "Puttin' up with Mommy's Shit"

LOL!

July 22, 2010 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

He did good. I liked that.

July 22, 2010 at 12:29 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

That was great!

July 22, 2010 at 1:09 PM  
Blogger Cheryl D. said...

Men blog? haha j/k! Nice BFF!

July 22, 2010 at 1:55 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Love this post Ian!

July 22, 2010 at 2:24 PM  
Blogger shortmama said...

My hubs is exactly the same way...he would rather be home with me and our girls than any other place in the world

July 22, 2010 at 2:42 PM  
Blogger Frugal Vicki said...

I loved loved loved this!

July 22, 2010 at 2:43 PM  
Blogger purseblogger said...

Ian is truly a wonderful father, husband, and friend. I love his blog and his honesty. Not to mention his awesome sense of humor.
I love this weeks BFF Shell! Great choice! :)

July 22, 2010 at 2:44 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

Such a great choice Shell!

July 22, 2010 at 3:36 PM  
Blogger adrienzgirl said...

Stupid Blogger! Grrr!

I already left a long comment and of course I got a damn error.

I said it's nice to see other men in this world like BDC. He has no use or tolerance for men who don't love and cherish their families. We do everything together as a family.

Kudos to you Ian.

July 22, 2010 at 4:53 PM  
Blogger Beth Zimmerman said...

Aw Ian. That was beautiful!

July 22, 2010 at 5:01 PM  
Blogger Tracie said...

Awww. Ian is a great guy. I love how devoted he it to his wife and son.

July 22, 2010 at 5:28 PM  
Blogger Love comma Ashlee said...

Awe, Ian! That was just about the sweetest thing I've ever read! You sound like an amazing father! I wish more men were like you in that way!

July 22, 2010 at 5:52 PM  
Blogger Kat @ www.TodaysCliche.com said...

I think this is my favorite line: "The wife the other day asked me if I wanted to be a coach and tears rolled down my eyes. I told her I can't only because I have no idea what to do".

Aside from that, I really think you and my hubs need to chill together... you sound surreally (is that a word!?!?!) similar.

July 22, 2010 at 6:12 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

Seeing Daddy work will teach Mr. C how it really is in marriage and family. Fantastic post.

July 22, 2010 at 9:33 PM  
Blogger Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Oh Ian, that brought tears to my eyes. I am so proud to pass the BFF crown to you. You are not only a great blogger, but also an awesome father & wonderful husband. I'm kind of like you are w/ Mr.C w/ my son. I have no idea where he got his smarts from. Sassy's problems, on the other hand, I except full responsiblity. Great post!

July 22, 2010 at 10:26 PM  
Blogger Nikki said...

I absolutely love hearing fathers talk about their children. It makes my heart melt hearing how some men can totally and honestly open up about the way they feel in regards to being a father.
Love that we got a different perspective on parenthood....thanks Shell and Ian!!

July 22, 2010 at 10:47 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Awww Ian is gonna make me cry...I LOVE seeing devoted fathers! There are so many slackers out there today and unfortunately devoted dads are not the norm....as they should be. Go IAN!!!! Love it!

July 22, 2010 at 11:27 PM  
Blogger Kristy said...

Very cool. Nice to read a dad's perspective. Will have to go check out his blog!

July 23, 2010 at 12:00 AM  
Blogger Marlene said...

Fantastic post!!! I wish my ex had been even HALF the father to our daughters you are to your son, Ian!

July 23, 2010 at 12:41 AM  
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July 23, 2010 at 2:59 AM  
Blogger crisc23 said...

Great post Ian..soo moving down to what you said about splitting chores and doin them together, do you think any of that would have been different if ya'll had more kids?
Sorry just tryin to figure out why my husband is lazy when it comes to the kids and home =)

July 23, 2010 at 7:17 AM  
Blogger Tree said...

What a great post!! It must be "man" week....I just interviews my first MAN Supahstah! LOL

July 23, 2010 at 8:36 AM  
Blogger Carrie said...

That was a great post Ian. It's so sweet to hear about the other side of parenting because we really don't see the male aspect of it very often.

July 23, 2010 at 12:24 PM  
Blogger Big Mama Cass said...

Dude, you made me cry!! That was a great post about your little guy. Awesome. You are awesome. :)

July 23, 2010 at 1:13 PM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

Ian, you are the best! You have such a way with words! You are such a great person!

July 23, 2010 at 1:25 PM  
Blogger Crazy Brunette said...

Goddamnit IAN! Do NOT make me CRY! You are a phenomenal guy, and I'm damn proud to know you fucker!

I heart you face asshole!

July 23, 2010 at 1:26 PM  
Blogger MiMi said...

What a lovely post Ian!

July 23, 2010 at 1:33 PM  
Blogger Daisygirl said...

Hey Hey how did I miss this yesterday???

So awesome and totally dude-ical! I love how you got your own special guy button!

I love your story you are definitely one of the true family man guys left ...there are not many of them!

July 23, 2010 at 2:13 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Great post Ian!! It is always nice to hear the fatherhood side of things. Very great story!

July 23, 2010 at 2:30 PM  
Blogger Beth, Elliot,Mollie and Jonathan said...

Great post Ian! MR. C is def a cool little kid :-)

July 23, 2010 at 2:34 PM  
Blogger Mom vs. the boys said...

oooooh super sweet! that BFF bit at the end made me tear up! I truely wish my hubby took more initiative with our three boys.

July 23, 2010 at 4:32 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Ian, so sweet of you to give us this personal insight into your role as a father...and I'm glad you were so honest about the fertility stuff as well. Many people don't realize how common it is to have to go through IVF/IUI, etc..

SO happy that you are a daddy and your little boy sounds like a rockstar!

July 23, 2010 at 9:38 PM  
Blogger Momma Fargo said...

Amazing words from a father. Very cool. Brought tears to my eyes. Bravo!

July 24, 2010 at 12:59 AM  
Blogger Michelle Pixie said...

Ian, you are such an amazing example for your son and as blessed as you are to have him he is just as blessed to have you. Beautiful post!

Now I am off to vote!

July 25, 2010 at 9:14 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Nice to see a dad talking about fatherhood. we don't always get that side of parenting! thanks for sharing!

July 25, 2010 at 9:14 PM  
Blogger Carrie said...

Ian you are a great role model and father. I am so sorry infertility effects you too. You should have a houseful!

July 26, 2010 at 1:57 PM  

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