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Friday, July 16, 2010

BFF: 10 Lessons Learned as a Mom- Semi-Slacker Style

The blogger that I chose for this  week's Blog Friend Feature is one who cracks me up. She's a Southern girl, though a real one, not a fake poser transplant like me. She admits to things lying to her kids and talking ugly way too much. I tend to think that she's just a sweetheart who would be soooo much fun to hang around. Semi-Slacker Mom of Confessions of a Semi-Slacker Mom made me laugh when she said that she didn't know if she could give up her sarcasm and humor  to be serious for her BFF day- but I told her that she didn't have to- she could be herself, since her being real and honest is why I picked her and why I think that you all will love her.

I've been at this Mommy thing for going on 9 years and with 3 children, I've had my share of the wild adventures of child rearing. (or maybe that's just my family) I've learned more as a mother than I ever did in 17 years of school. (I was on the 5-yr plan in college.)

You know the lessons I'm talking about; hold your boy baby's tallytail (that's what we call it) down when you change his diaper, how to swaddle your baby, how to pull off Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny & the Tooth Fairy, green foods cause green poop, the pediatrician's phone number and how fast you can get there, the kind of stuff all new mommies learn.

But I want to share with y'all the things they don't tell you. (I don't actually know who they are, but just go with me on this.) This is the stuff you have to learn from experience. All you new mommies or mommies to be take notes.

10 Lessons I've Learned as a Mother

1. How to eat an entire meal in under 5 minutes while also feeding 3 children.

2. Not everyone enjoys sleep as much as you do did. And you CAN survive without it.

3. Never live in a house without a kitchen door. with a lock.

4. If you ever want to talk on the phone again, you must install a soundproof phone booth. with a lock.

5. The person that you couldn't live without is the same person who you threaten to drop off at the orphanage. daily.

6. You CAN look at & even clean up puke without vomiting yourself. among other things.

7. Injuries often hurt you worse than your child. along with shots. and stitches/staples. and broken hearts. even tummy aches.

8. You will gain a new appreciation for cartoons. and maybe pick up a little Spanish. or Chinese.

9. God won't give you any more than you can handle. with the right amount of prescription drugs & alcohol. (Wellbutrin & Martinis for me.)

10. Your life will never be the same. and you wouldn't have it any other way.

I just thought of another one... Just because they share the same DNA doesn't mean they will EVER get along. or maybe that's just my Sassy and Bo.

I love it! Someone should print these out and hand them to new moms when they first have their babies! Now, please leave some comment love here for Semi-Slacker Mom and then go follow her  blog  if you don't already!

Confessions of a Semi-Slacker Mom

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Blogger magically ordinary said...

Great choice Shell! I love her!

July 16, 2010 at 7:36 AM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

I adore Semi-Slacker Mom, she always makes me giggle! Another awesome pick!

July 16, 2010 at 7:42 AM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Great list and so true. I had way too much experience with #6 this week.

July 16, 2010 at 7:46 AM  
Blogger Jean said...

Love your list!! I did a similar list a few months ago and wanted to share it with you: http://www.typicalsuburbanfamily.com/2010/04/27/tuesday-ten/

There are so many lessons to learn along the way aren't there??? And yes, alcohol helps on the rough day ;-)

July 16, 2010 at 7:55 AM  
Blogger Living the Scream said...

I love this! my favorite is 1. When my husband and I are on a date we still eat so fast and have to go, wait! the kids are not with us we can actually eat at normal speed! Cute post!

July 16, 2010 at 8:09 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

#5 is the one that makes me feel the most guilty but is so true. Those were funny, thanks for sharing... helps us other slacker moms feel like we fit in somewhere.

July 16, 2010 at 8:24 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I have experienced #3. When Ryan was a toddler, I went downstairs to start some laundry and he locked the kitchen door. I had to call dad to come pick the lock for me. And amen to #9!

July 16, 2010 at 8:28 AM  
OpenID Abbie said...

Love all 10 of those! Great insight into the life of mommies.
Thanks for sharing.

July 16, 2010 at 8:46 AM  
Blogger Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

I'm still wondering how the combination of my DNA and my husband's could produce a child that doesn't value sleep like we do.

July 16, 2010 at 8:55 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Couldn't agree more with #10 and would love to know the story behind #3... Looking forward to visiting Confessions....

July 16, 2010 at 9:02 AM  
Blogger Mo 'Betta said...

These are great and so true. Now following her as well. I have also been at the mommy thing for 9 years, with 3 kids! Never a dull moment...and how I wish for some at times :)

July 16, 2010 at 9:20 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

Love her list...I couldn't have said it better myself.

Off to check out her blog.

Have a great weekend chicka!

July 16, 2010 at 9:26 AM  
Blogger Brittney said...

i absolutely love this!!! and i agree new moms should get this list because we all go into this thinking its all gonna be like meet the beavers and boy do you get a shocker on that one LOL

July 16, 2010 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

another great BFF post, I couldn't disagree with any of that :D

July 16, 2010 at 9:41 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Damn that #2. I'm currently living proof that this one is true. Bleh!
Great post!

July 16, 2010 at 10:02 AM  
Blogger Ian said...

Coming from someone who didn't follow nor ever read her blog I can't say there'd be a better choice out there. She's fantastic. I should know. I am too.

July 16, 2010 at 10:11 AM  
Blogger The Drama Mama said...

Thanks for introducing me!! Haha, I got a good laugh at #5 because that is frequent saying around here too, except for us it's boot camp. I burned the child exchange card too early. ;)

These are seriously awesome. Running off to make a new friend!

July 16, 2010 at 10:55 AM  
Blogger Beth Zimmerman said...

Wonderful choice, Shell! I think I already follow her but if I have failed to do so in the past I will rectify that right now! :)

July 16, 2010 at 11:09 AM  
Blogger The Scrapoholic said...

Great list! But #6, i gagged reading it! i still can't deal w/it! I find it quite funny that siblings can be best friends one minute and in total silence they become worst enemies the next!

July 16, 2010 at 11:31 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

As someone who isn't a mom, I guess I'll keep this list handy for future reference!

July 16, 2010 at 11:53 AM  
Blogger Semi-Slacker Mom said...

That's me!!! I finally got today's post up! You're the best, Shell!!

July 16, 2010 at 12:10 PM  
Blogger purseblogger said...

This is great! She is so fun. I love her sense of humor. :)

July 16, 2010 at 12:33 PM  
Blogger Reagan said...

Super fun and so true (especially about the vomit part!)

July 16, 2010 at 1:01 PM  
Blogger RN Mama said...

I love Semi-Slacker Mom, she's very deserving of being your BFF:)

July 16, 2010 at 1:06 PM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Congrats on being the BFF!

I love your list. It's all so true!

July 16, 2010 at 1:08 PM  
Blogger Momarchy_Speaks said...

I'm gonna be honest and say that I still haven't learned how to do #6.If even the smell of puke comes my way I'm gagging right beside the child that's throwing up.

Oh yea...I have plenty of icky stories to share on that one, but we'll leave it for some other time in which I don't have a recently full tummy with food lol;)

July 16, 2010 at 1:21 PM  
Blogger Katina said...

LOVE IT! I need one of those phone booth thingys TODAY! I can totally relate. I clean up vomit and other bodily fluids and then turn around and eat! Thanks for sharing her with us!

July 16, 2010 at 1:50 PM  
Blogger The Blue Zoo said...

LOL! Love that list!! And it is SOOO true.

July 16, 2010 at 1:50 PM  
Blogger Brandi said...

Cute! And true... GAH #4! It doesn't matter how many times we go over it, I ALWAYS get interrupted when I'm on the phone. I'll even do the 'just a minute' signal by holding up the one finger and my boys will STILL keep right on talking to me.

July 16, 2010 at 2:05 PM  
Blogger adrienzgirl said...

I went and followed. How I have survived this long without her is beyond me! :D

July 16, 2010 at 2:16 PM  
Blogger Robyn Lee said...

Haha, yep! All good ones.. especially loved #5 : )

July 16, 2010 at 2:19 PM  
Blogger Helena said...

Oh man, this is an awesome list. But I'm not gonna show it to my husband: we would never have kids if he laid eyes on it!

July 16, 2010 at 2:25 PM  
Blogger chele said...

Great list! I've been mothering for 20 years and I still haven't mastered #6. How'd you do it?

July 16, 2010 at 2:57 PM  
Blogger We 2 Bees said...

So funny!
I loved the list I'm on way to check her out!

July 16, 2010 at 3:50 PM  
Blogger Christy said...

love it! so true!

July 16, 2010 at 4:07 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Love this! Every one of them is so, so true!

July 16, 2010 at 5:59 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

LOVE your list! Funny but soooo true!

July 16, 2010 at 6:29 PM  
Blogger ModernMom said...

How lovely! #10 is my fave:)

July 16, 2010 at 8:08 PM  
Blogger cathyjoy said...

All but #6. I still can't do puke...unless forced to like the time the baby projectile vomited half-digested hotdogs into my bra and hair and shoes. eeeewww (shudder) (btw - i did have a shirt on...a VNECK!)

July 16, 2010 at 9:31 PM  
Blogger michelle b @ every little thing said...

your list is hilarious and endearing from mother to mother..! i found you thru sarah's blog of fun...your comments were kind of intriguing... :)
i'm doing a csn stores giveaway on my blog right now...would love it if you stopped by!

July 16, 2010 at 9:40 PM  
Blogger Brittany C said...

I found her through the blog bash and I loved her!

Another great choice, Shell! :)

July 16, 2010 at 10:22 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

I never believed I could ever look at or clean up puke until the first time my first child threw up. I still hate dealing with it. And sometimes it's nasty...but yeah. It IS different when it is your own.

I loved her words! Off to check her blog!

July 17, 2010 at 2:02 AM  
Blogger Crazed Mama said...

Great choice! I love her!!! One funny mommy who writes it like she sees it!!

July 17, 2010 at 7:52 AM  
Blogger Melinda said...

Sounds like my kind of momma! I especially like No. 5! I'll go check her out! ;0)

July 17, 2010 at 8:37 AM  
Blogger jenn@peacelovemommy said...

Shell, she's great I started following apparently before this post but I pretty much can relate to ALL of the 10!!! especially the #11! I'm makin that my facebook status!!

July 17, 2010 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger Mama Hen said...

This was so funny and so true! Eating a meal in five minutes! Ha! How about never really getting to drink a hot cup of coffee! Yeah, puke becomes a fairly easy task and it is so true that with everything we wouldn't want it any other way!

Mama Hen

July 17, 2010 at 12:37 PM  
Blogger Mrs4444 said...

My favorite (and most shocking to me at the time) is #6. Thankfully, I haven't had to clean up much puke. I think you should add that you will not vomit if you actually touch poop with your bare finger.haha

July 17, 2010 at 2:54 PM  
Blogger Ash said...

Oh the tallytail thing! Why, oh why, don't the hospital nurses tell you this little hint before you leave the hospital?

I imagine they get a giggle out of picturing the first "shower."


July 17, 2010 at 5:24 PM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

shell, you have the BEST friends!
gonna go tell her she totally rocks.

July 17, 2010 at 9:07 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

I love her...I already jumped over to follow! #599! These are all so true! Love them!

I didn't realize I had missed a BFF until I stopped by today and saw her...(must of been the funeral day where we were crazily busy)

July 22, 2010 at 1:04 PM  

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