NOT Mom of the Year

When I hear the title "mom of the year," two things come to mind.


The first being that someone is being sarcastic and talking about some sort of epic mom fail that they experienced.


The second being this ideal that I could never, ever live up to. Probably one that none of us can ever live up to. Your idea of Mom of the Year might look a little different from mine, but I'm going to tell you what mine looks like....and why I'm so NOT Mom of the Year.


And maybe even why I think that's okay.


Mom of the Year wakes each morning before her children to get everything ready for the day. She showers, dresses, starts the laundry, has breakfast, works out and is alert and happy when her children wake up.


I am always woken up by a child or three busting into my bedroom, asking for breakfast and a tv show. I bury my head under the covers and murmer to Hubs that I have no clue who these morning people are because surely, I couldn't have given birth to them. Oh, and I do get dressed, but you can bet that I don't look as put-together as Mom of the Year.


Mom of the Year fixes her children a hot breakfast, everything from scratch, organic, freshly-squeezed. All children are dressed in clean clothes that actually match. They sit at the kitchen table together.


My kids love milk(not organic), bananas(again, not organic), and some form of frozen waffles or pancakes(sometimes actually FROZEN and not even heated up in the microwave or toaster because they love them that way and I'm too tired to argue). They are still in their pjs and will be for a while if we aren't headed out the door. Sometimes they might just be in underwear because my kids like to be nudists. And they eat breakfast wherever, as long as it's not on the couches.


Mom of the Year has developmentally appropriate activities planned for the morning. Ones that will enrich, teach, and be fun. She loads her kids up into her spotless vehicle and whisks her children off to swim class, gymnastics, karate, kiddie yoga, Latin, computer- whatever the class of the day is.


Me? Um, what are we doing today? Those classes are expensive and trying to coordinate three children's schedules when none of them is old enough to be somewhere alone is hard. How about...the park? Or the pool? Or playing outside in the yard? Um...let's see? Wanna go to a movie? Get a new book from the library? Um...we haven't been to the aquarium recently, wanna go there? Our plans are more last minute. And that minivan I load them up into? Yeah, it's always a mess. Even right after I clean it out.


At no point during the day does Mom of the Year lose her cool with her children. If they need reprimanded, she does so in a quiet voice, staying calm at all times.


I try that, thanks for the tip SuperNanny. But, sometimes, I lose my cool and I yell. Or say something sarcastic or even....horror....administer a spanking. And I resort to bribery sometimes, too.


Mom of the Year prepares yet another fabulous meal for lunch, followed by naps, rest time, or an art project for her children. She cleans up the house and works on any projects that need to be done.


Well, my kids are peanut butter and jelly addicts. Or you know, dinosaur-shaped chicken. With fruit. They love fruit. Can I get points for that? Followed by a nap for one of my kids and then televisison shows- it's preschool on tv, right? Plus unstructured play time. So, I can clean up the house, too, just like Mom of the Year blog.


Mom of the Year has fun playdates scheduled for her children for after the quiet time and probably some volunteer work to do. She's President of the PTA, runs the local moms' group, and a host of other activities.


Playdates just give me more motherbitch stories. I'll join the PTA, but only because the former teacher in me feels obligated. I got burnt out on running a moms' group so I'm hiding from them now. And besides, I'm still busy blogging you know. Though, I do make sure that they go places where they can socialize and make friends- it just doesn't have the structure of the playgroups.


Mom of the Year has yet a third fabulous meal on the table for her family.


Okay, sometimes I do this, too. Because I can actually cook. Unless it's another one of those 105 degree days and Hubs won't be home for dinner. And then I think ice cream is a perfectly acceptable dinner. I don't let them have chocolate ice cream, though. More points for me.


Mom of the Year has a fun, quiet activity for her children before bedtime. She gives them baths, lays out fresh pajamas for them, reads each a developmentally appropriate bedtime story. She tucks each in with a kiss good-night.


Kids' choice of activity after dinner here, as long as it's nothing too crazy. Baths happen some days- and some days it's more of a rinsing off...or even an "oh well, you're not too dirty, let's skip it." My kids prefer to sleep in underwear(diaper for the baby) instead of actual pajamas. We all pile into one of the kids' beds and read the story of the whichever child managed to ask me for a story first. Send them off with a kiss good-night.


Mom of the Year finishes whatever small chores she didn't get to during the day and prepares for the next day. She spends quality time with her husband and gets to bed at a reasonable hour, ready to do it all again the next day.


Um, yeah, my house is still a mess, so I better do something about that. Or maybe not because they'll just mess it up again as soon as they wake up the next morning anyway. And I'm tired. I want to sit on the couch with Hubs, watch tv, read a book, blog, talk, have a glass of wine, and stay up way too late. I go to bed knowing the morning will come before I've had a chance to get fully rested. I bet Mom of the Year doesn't drool in her sleep like I do, either.


So, obviously, I'm NOT Mom of the Year.


But, do you know what? My boys are loved. They are fed, they are entertained, they learn new things, they make friends, and they are happy.


They tell me more times than I can count each day "I love you, Mommy."


And so, I'm okay with being NOT Mom of the Year.


Check out The Mommyologist and Life Without Pink for more moms who are NOT Mom of the Year.