What's Really Wrong With Me

Oh, God, did I ever leave myself open with that blog title.

Try to be nice.

I'm referring to the funk that I fell into yesterday.

I need to say just how much I love those of you who commented.

It's so nice to hear encouragement.

But, I think I've figured out what's at the root of my mood.

Other than pms and lack of sleep. (took some pamprin, and went to bed early...champagne may have been involved....)

We moved back to NC a little over 2 months ago. It was an extremely quick move. There really wasn't much time to even think about it, I was just so busy getting us ready to move and then getting us settled.

And, to friends, who asked if I was happy with our move I said an enthusiastic YES.

That I don't miss PA at all and I'm so happy here.

To some extent, that's true.


Our house here is amazing.

It's right on the beach.

The beach relaxes me.

The boys love it, too.

I even sleep with the sliding glass doors open in my bedroom, to be able to hear the ocean.

Here are the boys, playing on our top deck: Yes, this is the deck that Bear likes to pee off of.

Even taken on a day when it's not so sunny, it's still gorgeous.

The pace of life here is much more laidback. And I'm a laidback kind of a girl.

Hubs' job allows him to be home with us a lot more often.

Bear is improving all the time. He's away from the crap that was poisoning him and making him sick(post for another time).

Bear and Monkey go to an awesome school, and at the same time, so that I have some nice breaks with just Cub.



Sounds great, right? Which is why I usually bounce around and say how happy I am with our move.




And I still am.




Yet...




Some of the bad came crashing down on me the other day.




Bear is getting better- but we have to start the whole early intervention evaluations allllllll over down here.



It breaks my heart every. single. time. I have to explain Bear's illness to someone(again, a post for another time). And I have to keep explaining it down here.

With Hubs being home every night for dinner, I've gained ten pounds in 2 months. And we haven't joined a gym yet. Even though you might know that what I really like to do at the gym is this, not exercising is depressing. My pants not fitting is depressing.

I don't have my bff or college buddy down here. The two people whom I could talk to without any filter and know that they would love me anyway. We do still keep in touch, but no more getting to go out, have some drinks, and get time away. Plus, bff's boys were my boys' bffs.

I've realized that a lot of the so-called friends I had in PA...whom I would talk to through email/fb almost everyday, go out with for margaritas about once a month or so, and our kids all used to be each others' playmates, so we used to have playdates all the time- until school got in the way, so it's been a while since the playdates anyway...but, most of them cannot even be bothered to click "like" on a fb status, let alone actually talk to me. And it's not for lack of trying on my part. I didn't realize those were such friendships of convenience.




I'm trying to get out around here, but I've told you how that has gone down here. I know if I keep looking, I'll find people that I connect with, but it's hard to find those people through all the motherbitches.




Though I love where we live and will be happy staying in this area forever, it's a hike to any place that I want to go. So, it's harder for me to say once Hubs is home, "Hey, I'm going to go run to Barnes and Noble or Target." Even if I didn't really need something, I would use those as an excuse to have some quiet time away. Now, it's a 30-45 minute drive to get to those places.





I'm still happy with our move because I know it's what was best for our family. Though here, I'm talking about Hubs, our 3 boys, and me. If I get into how my family members back in PA have reacted to this, that would just be another thing to add to the list of things that suck.



I know that I'll settle in more and find my place again.



But, until then, I really liked this bit of advice from Stone Fox yesterday:
Stone Fox said...
so what you gotta do is get yourself a tiara and a sash. crown yourself Princess Poutypants. get a banner and some buttons made. they should say "I *heart* My Pissy Attitude." pick up some party hats and streamers. have a Pity Party. the only things you are allowed to eat at the Pity Party are cake and cheezy poofs.or you can skip right to the eating cake and cheezy poofs part. the rest seems like an exhaustive amount of work now that i've written it down. let me know if there is going to be cake. i'll wear my Eatin' Pants.

So, you're all invited to my pity party. I'll have tiaras, buttons, cake, cheezy poofs, and wine for you all. Had to throw in the alcohol, you know.

But, I'm the only one who gets to wear the Princess Poutypants sash.