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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Why I'm Proud To Be a Mommy Blogger

Mommy Blogger.

I used to hate that term.

Wasn't a fan of it when I was asked to join "mommy groups" either. For some reason, it seemed to sound condescending and belittle what we do.

And so, when I started blogging and heard the term "mommy blogger," I cringed. The term conjured up visions of posts that were nothing but a cute pic of my child and bragging about what we had done that day. And hey, there's a place for those types of blogs: I even HAVE one like that for just my family's eyes.

But, here, in this space, I do more.  Sure, I talk about my kids, but I talk about bigger parenting issues than just what we did today. Motherhood, marriage, education, friendship, women's issues...I'm not just a mommy blogger, I scoffed.

I've come to realize, though, that the title of Mommy Blogger is one to be worn with pride.

Because, if I were not a mommy... my blog would be much different.  I might not even have a blog.

But, if I did... I'd still be blogging about marriage, but have no clue about the changes that happen in a marriage after you have children.

I'd still blog about education, but from the perspective of a teacher, not as a parent. Having experience with diverse students in the classroom is completely different from having children with diverse needs.

I'd still blog about friendships, but not anything about how complex they are after you have kids in the mix.

Women's issues: absolutely. But, what is important to you changes after you become a mom.

Even if not every post I write screams I'M A MOMMY BLOGGER, each word I write is still seen through the lens of being a mommy. It changed my world.

And I think the title of Mommy Blogger helps remind me of what should come first. Yes, I'm a blogger. But, I'm MOMMY first.

So, I'll wear the title of Mommy Blogger with pride.



Blogger Oka said...

Being a Mommy is so much more than many want to give recognition for. It opens many new scenarios.

February 8, 2011 at 7:19 AM  
Blogger Amethystmoon said...

nicely said!

February 8, 2011 at 7:22 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

As always, Shell: Well Said!

February 8, 2011 at 7:23 AM  
Blogger Renegades said...

It's amazing how much we change and grow simply by being called Mommy by our Blessings.

February 8, 2011 at 7:26 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

What a neat way to look at it and I couldn't agree more.

February 8, 2011 at 7:40 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

I try...but I still hate the term and try to at least go with "Parenting Blogger." I guess it really shouldn't matter, but something about "parenting" just sounds more professional to me.

I read some dude's blog recently who referred to Babble as a "mommy blogger website"...totally pissed me off!

February 8, 2011 at 7:42 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I feel the exact same way, proud to have earned my title and glad that you are too. Great post.

February 8, 2011 at 7:52 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I remember being pregnant and feeling like life as I knew it was ending.

And I was right, that life did end. EVERYTHING is different now, but it's not a bad thing. And everything is view through a "mommy lens" we never knew we would have.

I love being a mommy blogger, mostly because I love being a mommy. This is a great post!

February 8, 2011 at 8:05 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

I never understood the women that got so offended by the term. I didn't agree with the larger companies that used it in a negative connotation. Why is being a mommyblogger a bad thing?
We're all moms & we all have important voices.

February 8, 2011 at 8:06 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Very great point, Shell! Being a mom adds another layer of "interest" to life, thus giving a different perspective.

We're just deeper people now being moms, right? :)

February 8, 2011 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger Nancy C said...

I love your take on it. Perfect.

February 8, 2011 at 8:14 AM  
Blogger Gigi said...

Amen, Shell!

February 8, 2011 at 8:15 AM  
Blogger Joann Mannix said...

You nailed it, my girl. Everything about life changes the first time that squalling baby is put in your arms. Your perspectives, your goals, your dreams, your very soul take on a whole other rich and fulfilling dimension once you gain the title of mommy.

I'm a mommy blogger too and proud of it.

Great post.

February 8, 2011 at 8:24 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

You always say what I want to but better. Ps. I miss you.

February 8, 2011 at 8:28 AM  
Blogger The Sisters' Hood said...

'Mommy Blogger', it does sound a little patronising doesn't it, especially to those who 'don't know' A weekend at Blissdom sure shows you the power and determination of those 'Mommy Bloggers' with incredible life skills and talent. For the longest time, I couldn't really picture being a Mommy. I studied endlessly it seemed, we traveled, we were so grown up. Then out of the blue Wiki came along and life changed. My life is made of so many parts, but I believe it came together when I became her Mom.
You become a real grown up, and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

February 8, 2011 at 8:33 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

Well said.
I think of myself more as a "life" blogger who just happens to also be a mommy! ;)

February 8, 2011 at 8:50 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

I love your breakdown of it. Way to go. You are proud to be a mommy blogger and we are proud to have you among us. :) So does this mean I can order those matching "Mommy Blogger" shirts for us now?

February 8, 2011 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger Ian said...



Family Member.



In that order.

February 8, 2011 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger KLZ said...

Being a mom really does change every single thing you do and think. So, so true.

February 8, 2011 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

This is an interesting perspective. I wonder how "mommy blogger" got such a bad rap that we feel the need to distance ourselves from it? There are zillions of blogs that don't defend or even define what they are about.

I'm new to this thing, but I'm not sure how I could ever blog without including the biggest part of myself.

February 8, 2011 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Samantha said...

I don't much care for the term "Mommy Blogger" either, but you make a good point. I wouldn't even have a blog if it weren't for B.

February 8, 2011 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

Very well put :)

February 8, 2011 at 9:26 AM  
Blogger Veronica said...

I don't mind the term mommy blogger. I do blog about my kiddos, but not always.

I did choose a blog name that I wanted for me though, without any ties to being a mom or my kids. I wanted it to reflect me and not a phase in my life..

February 8, 2011 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Jackie said...

Well said! I believe that it's a well earned title that we should all be proud of! There's a lot that goes into being a mom and even more with a mom who blogs!

February 8, 2011 at 9:33 AM  
Blogger Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

Love your post! So true.

February 8, 2011 at 9:41 AM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

On a scale of 1 to crazy, how sad is it that this post makes me question whether my blog sucks?

February 8, 2011 at 9:43 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

Well said!

Being a mom definitely adds another (better) level to who we are. While being a mommy blogger can have it's negatives, it is also a powerful term.

February 8, 2011 at 9:49 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I agree with Diane. I'm a blogger that is a wife, mother and an employee. I'm me. So you can call me a mommy blogger, or a married blogger or a working blogger, or whatever. But really I would just prefer it if people would call me Jennifer.

February 8, 2011 at 10:00 AM  
Blogger mypixieblog said...

Awwwwww, Shell. What a great post. I'm glad you wear the title with pride. You should. I feel as though these titles are only what WE make of them. It's all relative, but I think to be a good blogger, you have to be in touch with what you know. You know about being a mommy. It doesn't always have to be the focal point of your posts, but as you said: it's shaped how you view the world.

I think the sign of a good blogger is one that everyone can relate to, regardless of whether or not they fall into the same category. You know I'm not yet a mommy, and yet, I always feel welcome here and I can relate, just maybe not as intimately as someone who does have children because I haven't had those experiences yet. It would NEVER stop me from returning though :) You are, and have always been, one of my favs.

February 8, 2011 at 10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well said Shell!

February 8, 2011 at 10:22 AM  
Blogger Joey Lynn Resciniti said...

I love that you're proud to be a mommy blogger. We should be because this is what makes us different!

February 8, 2011 at 10:32 AM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

I SO agree with this! There was a time where I tried so hard to stray away from that Mommy Blogger title, but I am a mom and I blog. Also a lot of it is about my kids. I do feel that it can be used in a condescending way sometimes but that is who we are and we are moms first.

February 8, 2011 at 10:42 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Mommy Blogger here! Fab post:)

February 8, 2011 at 10:57 AM  
Blogger Ducky said...

Sort of at a loss for words lest I echo what so many others have said.

So well spoken...so well rounded...such a warm heart with such a bright wonderful light that encompases so very much.

February 8, 2011 at 11:07 AM  
Blogger The Nice One said...

Funny, I've been having the same identity crisis lately. I never blogged much on Nice Ones about my kids...I didn't want to be A MOMMY BLOGGER...but now that I'm a stay at home mom again...it's sort of at the forefront. I'm starting to own that badge.

February 8, 2011 at 11:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the term "mommy blogger" holds such a stigma because of exactly what you said - it conjures up images of super crafts and bows and rainbows and a fairy tale life. Not exactly what I've experienced in my first year as a mom! :) Nice post!

February 8, 2011 at 11:14 AM  
Blogger Fields said...

I love being called a Mommy Blogger because well, that's what I am! I don't know what in the world I would write about if it wasn't for my kids...

February 8, 2011 at 11:36 AM  
Blogger Macey said...

I think it blows chunks that everyone is conditioned to think of a "mommy" as an unimportant fixture. I AM a mommy. The most important job in the world.
And I happen to be a blogger.
So if they wanna call me that? Go ahead. :)

February 8, 2011 at 11:38 AM  
Blogger Charlene Juliani said...

Well said!

February 8, 2011 at 11:43 AM  
Blogger Jules Thoughts said...

Very well said, I just wanted to tell you I love your blog, I hop over and visit it once and awhile and I always enjoy it! Thanks for having a mommy blog!

February 8, 2011 at 12:12 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I have not ever had a problem with the title because like you said, without the mommy part, I might not have a blog.

February 8, 2011 at 12:45 PM  
Anonymous Stacey said...

I love this! I too cringe at the title Mommy blogger, and yet, that's exactly what I am. I too have decided to wear that badge with pride. And I take a lot of pride in what I do. Maybe I am "just a mommy blogger", but if I bring a smile to someone's face, then I am happy and content to be exactly that! Great post!

February 8, 2011 at 1:01 PM  
Blogger Crafty and Classy said...

It is funny because I tried to create a "kid free" blog... I ran out of things to write about...
I adore my life as a mom, really.. it is who i am.

February 8, 2011 at 1:02 PM  
Anonymous Mommy Nani Booboo said...

Sing it.
It's true...you see things as a mother, so you write as a mother... regardless of the topic.
I don't post pics of my kid, and only about one in ten posts are actually about being a mom- I even went through a crisis, and wanted to change the name of my blog- bought a new domain name and everything... then decided to keep "mommy" in the title after all.
That's what I am... even if it's not all I write about.
*belly bump*

February 8, 2011 at 1:34 PM  
Blogger Chele said...

Shell, this is something I've struggled with for two years now. I am a Mom but I do not blog about my children. I have gone back and forth about how I feel about this. This post made me realize that is okay to be part of that group. Thank you! AWESOMENESS... I think Scott Stratten would be proud of your post today! :)

February 8, 2011 at 1:48 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Love, love, love love it. LOVE it. And yes, yes, yes. Quite frankly, I think half the drama comes from people complaining about being called a mommy blogger.

Um, are you a mommy? Are you a blogger? Of course there's more to (most) blogs, but you know, getting stuck in titles only hurts us. I know there was a negative connotation to the term initially, but the more bloggers like you that keep coming and kicking some butt in this blogging world? Make the rest of us proud to be "Mommy Bloggers".

February 8, 2011 at 1:54 PM  
Blogger Desperate Housemommy said...

Yes. Yes. And yes.

I think my problem with the term "Mommy Blogger" is simply that I don't like the word "Mommy." Sounds whiny or something coming out of my mouth. Mom? Good. Mama? Sure. Mommy? Let's just say that I've been toying with the idea of renaming my own blog. Argh.

February 8, 2011 at 2:51 PM  
Blogger Flavia said...

Any title containing the word Mommy should be worn with pride, you could have not been more accurate. I love this post and every time I have a doubt about being a mommy blogger, I will read it all over again. Thank you because I just started blogging and it gives me and incentive to go on.

February 8, 2011 at 4:11 PM  
Anonymous Galit Breen said...

I love this post- so eloquent, so poignant. So true. I think we all go through that betwixt-and-between feeling with new labels, new changes. I felt much of you described in the beginning, too. Well done- you nailed this.

February 8, 2011 at 4:26 PM  
Blogger Di said...

After everything I went through to have Jellybean I will proudly be a "mommy blogger". Also all of your insight and perspective as a mommy has been so helpful to me through my pregnancy and now that he is here - you are one of my favorite mommy bloggers out there!

February 8, 2011 at 4:48 PM  
Blogger Venassa said...

I've never hated Mommy bloggers, just didn't fit in with them much since I was just an unmarried, childless, 23 year old. Now I'm on my way to being a Mommy blogger and I kind of look forward to it.

I love Mommy bloggers who still post about life, parenting, lessons and such - a little bit more than just what the kids did that day.

February 8, 2011 at 5:26 PM  
Blogger Claremont First Ward said...

I LOVED this.

February 8, 2011 at 5:33 PM  
Anonymous Making It said...

I think part of the reluctance is that feeling of being boxed in and/or labeled. Like that is all people are going to see us as.

And of course as you say we are so much more.

I think once you really start to feel comfortable in your own skin is when you don't mind labels so much. It is kind of like so what I know who I am, I know what I am, I won't be defined by a label.

February 8, 2011 at 6:26 PM  
Anonymous Making It Work Mom said...

sorry - totally clicked too early - darn kids!

February 8, 2011 at 6:26 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

That's some great insight! I often wonder how my perspective on ... well, everything... will change once I'm a mom :)

February 8, 2011 at 6:44 PM  
Blogger Kim of Mo Betta said...

You are so right! How you think and feel about just about everything changes once you have children.

February 8, 2011 at 6:49 PM  
Anonymous Theta Mom said...

Proud to be a MOMMY BLOGGER with you!!

February 8, 2011 at 7:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post! I actually thought of doing a mommy blog when I first had my son, but I held off. Now I have the whole Christiany vibe for my blog. I think I need it. I have places I can talk about my kid, but what I really needed is a place to put thoughts on my faith---developing it, strengthening it, sharing it. Everyone needs to do something different and has different things to share with the world---and I'm glad you share your life with us! :)

February 8, 2011 at 8:50 PM  
Blogger myevil3yearold said...

Me too Shell!

February 8, 2011 at 9:03 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Hey I like your view on this!!! Once a mom...always a mom!!!

February 8, 2011 at 9:53 PM  
Blogger MrsJenB said...

Beautifully said!

February 8, 2011 at 9:54 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Yes girl! Absolutely YES!! Love this. I'm a proud Mommy Blogger too. xo

February 8, 2011 at 10:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen sister!!! Right there with ya! I embrace the title!

February 9, 2011 at 12:12 AM  
Blogger Cyndy Bush said...

I love this post. =) Mommy Bloggers are way more than potty training and strollers!

February 9, 2011 at 12:17 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

I still kind of cringe at the title and this week I have pictures of a soccer game and the baby brushing her hair with a toothbrush. But I'm getting there!

February 9, 2011 at 12:19 AM  
Blogger AiringMyLaundry said...

I don't mind being a part Mommy Blogger. But I'd like to also be a Regular Chick blogger too. It's why I don't always post about my kids.

However, my kids do give me a lot of blog fodder, and for that I am grateful.

February 9, 2011 at 12:43 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Well said, dear friend, well said!!! I too am proud to be a mommy blogger.

February 9, 2011 at 12:47 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I can so relate to this post Shell.
I resisted the label as well. I've tried everything to avoid the label. But when it's all said and done, our biggest accomplishments are our children and really, what more is there to life (other than chocolate, Glee, Grey's Anatomy, a good steak dinner, friends, blogging...well, ok, there's lots more!) But we are Mommy Bloggers! And you are such a terrific one!

February 9, 2011 at 1:01 AM  
Blogger Tracie Nall said...

You are so very right...and you just succeeded in making the term "Mommy Blogger" not make me feel slightly ill. Seriously.

I love this.

February 9, 2011 at 1:12 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

I never considered myself a mommy blogger either until I was classified as one recently...and said, yes...guess I am. I am a mom blogger and wouldn't want it any other way.

February 9, 2011 at 1:58 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Yes, I feel the same way. It's like I want that to be the last thing that classifies me in the blogging world, but it shouldn't be that way.

February 9, 2011 at 2:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never did really understand why women would get mad if they were called a Mommy Blogger. I guess because Ive always known I was a Mommy Blogger. Heck, if I didnt have my kids I wouldnt have anything to blog about! lol

February 9, 2011 at 3:54 AM  
Blogger natalee said...

woooohoooooo!!!! love that!!!!!!

February 9, 2011 at 5:43 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

This is so true. Who we became when we became moms is can be so different than who we were. I love the new me.

February 9, 2011 at 7:00 AM  
Blogger Kir said...

really loved that Shell, esp as I try to figure out whom I am on my blog.
Trying to become a mommy is what my blog was all about for years, so I am proud of finally being one..grateful and proud too.

Great post!

February 9, 2011 at 12:48 PM  
Blogger Taxreformer said...

I LOVE this!!!!!! THANK you for helping me see it this way!

February 9, 2011 at 5:11 PM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

I'm number 78, when did all of these people come around?!

I hadn't actually thought of this perspective on mommy blogging but you are absolutely right. Everything is written through a mommy. Maybe I won't roll my eyes next time someone calls me a mommy blogger.

February 9, 2011 at 9:10 PM  
Blogger adrienzgirl said...

Once you become a mom, everything you do is forever changed because you wake up and look at the world through your mommy eyes. This post made my heart smile. You are so wise.

February 11, 2011 at 1:09 AM  
Blogger Messy Mommy said...

Blogger should add a "like" button. I would definitely use it here. :)

February 11, 2011 at 10:20 PM  
Blogger Dean said...

I am a 6’5” 229 and ¼ pound (as of this morning, but the scales are always plotting) mommy with a bass voice. I have been peed, pooped, and puked on more than an orderly in a malaria camp. My son gives me cards on Father’s Day, but my female friends give me cards on Mother’s Day. I have come to the realization that I must be at least part mommy blogger. lol Check me out if you get a chance.


May 20, 2011 at 9:04 AM  
Blogger Rachee said...

From one Mommy Blogger to another: Well said!

September 28, 2011 at 2:51 PM  

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