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Monday, June 21, 2010

I Don't Really Want to Give My Kids Away

I'm actually thrilled that it's Monday. Because after almost 4 weeks of my boys being out of school, two of them are at Vacation Bible School for three glorious hours every morning this week.

Three hours where they aren't asking me to entertain them. Three hours where they will be kept very busy...and bonus, they'll learn something, too.

Most importantly, they will be in different groups, so they will get time away from each other. They love each other, but when they don't get time apart, they end up wanting to kill each other.

During that time, I will just have my newly-turned 2 year-old. Who will be content to have full run of the house or whom I can easily take with me to the gym on errands.

I feel like I'll have a break this week and I'm so thankful for it.

But, I know it sounds like I want to give my kids away. It's not always the case.

After all, this is just a week of the summer. School is a different story.

My oldest starts kindergarten this fall.

Full-day kindergarten.

There is no half-day option around here.

I'm not really very emotional about it right now...it might be different when he actually goes to school, but not now.

I knew this was coming, so I was ready. He's ready, too.

But, I also had to find a preschool for Bear.

This was an absolutely agonizing process last year. He started in one preschool and it wasn't right for him, so we moved him to another...and then we freaking moved to NC unexpectedly, so I had to find him another.

But, then we found the most fantabulous preschool ever. With the most wonderful teacher. He LOVED his teacher. She LOVED him.

He would give her big hugs every day, kiss her cheek and say, "I love you, My Shell." (Miss Michelle- but his way was so cute that she never corrected him)

I was planning on sending him back there next year, right back into her classroom.

But, then our plans changed and we moved "to town."

Half an hour away from where we used to live....so now that preschool is an HOUR away from us.

I swear that I would still send him there if the time would work out. But, it doesn't. We'd have to leave here at 7:30am to get him to school...yet Monkey has to be at kindergarten back here in town at 8:15.

And so, I started searching for pre-k around here.

Btw, his teacher cried when I told her that Bear wasn't coming back next year. Yes, she loved him that much.

There weren't a whole lot of options here for pre-k.

I found one that I was happy with...until I found out that it's full day.

Full-day school for a four year-old. And full-day school that is actually cheaper than the half-day school, so hey, that's more bang for your buck, right?

But, that's just too much. He's still a little guy.

As much as I will say that it will be so nice to have some time to myself when my kids are in school- to get things done like blogging all I want cleaning the house, going to the gym,  and doing some volunteer work...well, as much as I say that I want that and as much as I probably even think it....

I don't really want to give my kids away. To send them out there all day.

With someone other than Mommy.

And so, I found Bear a half-day school instead.

I know that I will probably drop my boys off at school with a little bit of a spring in my step and a big goofy grin on my face and maybe even a sigh of relief, thinking of the break that it will give me. Especially on Mondays, when they have been together all weekend and on my each other's nerves.

Yes, I'll look forward to the break.

But, despite what I might think on those days when it seems there is too much togetherness, it's still a little bittersweet to send them off without me.

After all, I don't really want to give my kids away.

Labels: , ,


Blogger Grace Adams said...

Hmmm. The whole kid giveaway thing might be interesting for the mommy bloggers.

Just kidding. But maybe not. When mine were little, there were days I wanted to give them away. And then they all grew up, and I cried when they graduated from high school.

June 21, 2010 at 7:29 AM  
Blogger MrsBlogAlot said...

All breaks are important. For us and them (-:

No giving away allowed. But enjoying some time alone is (-:

June 21, 2010 at 7:41 AM  
Blogger Sugar Bear said...

The other day my husband and I had quiet time...while the boys played upstairs. He looked at me and said, "It's hard to imagine life before them."

It really is. but when we get breaks from them it's a little slice of heaven to let our brains decompress a little.

I wish we could have a play date! ;o)

June 21, 2010 at 7:41 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

I am putting mine in half-day camp...but not till NEXT WEEK. This week should be interesting...

I am so sad that you had to leave Bear's preschool!! I really hope that the new one is just as great!

June 21, 2010 at 8:16 AM  
Blogger Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Enjoy your free time my dear. I'm so jealous...about the full day kindergarten too!!!

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma, What's For Dinner

June 21, 2010 at 8:21 AM  
Blogger LisaDay said...

Ontario, Canada, is starting full-day kindergarten and I don't like it either. Which is strange as he goes to daycare all day. But it just seems different.

And how come the kids have been done school for weeks already?


June 21, 2010 at 8:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well now that I'm a homeschooling mom I really really like really enjoy those few hours that they happen to go off to VBS.

I'm actually in the process of looking for one right now ^_^

It's great that you found a teacher that was so awesome it is sad that it couldn't work out for this coming year.

June 21, 2010 at 8:31 AM  
Blogger Momma Fargo said...

I think they will be OK if you lock them in the closet and let them free when they are 18. Right? LOL. Loved your post.

June 21, 2010 at 8:48 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

I admit it will be nice when both kids are in school in the fall. Finally, some time to myself! But come the end of summer, I may not handle that so well.

I think we should start a support group.

June 21, 2010 at 9:07 AM  
Blogger Liz Mays said...

Of course, you don't. But those breaks recharge us and quite frankly, the kids need to get out there and do what they do!

June 21, 2010 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

My youngest attended a full day preschool that only went 4 days a week. I thought I would hate for him to be gona all day but I enjoyed it and so did he.

June 21, 2010 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I am with you on finding the perfect preschool. I am still working on it myself...

June 21, 2010 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger BNM said...

you dont sound like you want to give your kids away! I think we all need a break from time to time including our children from us! its a good social experience for them & it gives you time to appreciate even more the time you have together when they come home

June 21, 2010 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

I know the feeling. I send my little one twice a week this year. It will be so different for me.. Oh how they grow..

June 21, 2010 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Trying to meet the age requirement for Vacation Bible School here is like trying to hit a moving target!

Last summer was 3, this summer it's 4 at this rate I'll never be able to ship them off! ;)

I don't think I would be ready to send a preschooler to all day school either. Half day is a great option and where Ellie is headed in the fall.

June 21, 2010 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I totally get how you feel. Right now it seems that our kids are just driving us nuts and hubby and I enjoy any break we get but when fall comes it is going to be so hard to send 3 of them to school.

June 21, 2010 at 10:24 AM  
Blogger happynester said...

yup, i totally understand.
i love my kids, and i love when i get a break from them too. but its funny how sometimes i feel like i have to defend my self for 'wanting' them. grandparents are great and love to take my son for the weekend, but i'm always hesitant.. two nights! thats too long, i'll miss him! who will i play with!?
i feel like i have to explain sometimes why i had kids.. and how i actually like them around. (well.. most days)

great post.. i'm scared of the day i have to send my son to kindergarten.. and its not that far away. :(


June 21, 2010 at 10:27 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

We all need a break! :) That's what makes us normal :)

June 21, 2010 at 10:32 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Did I read on Twitter that they are in the same VBS group?

I know exactly how you feel. Leaving my kids at daycare this morning, I was both happy and sad. I look forward to Mondays, but then I feel bad too. Guilt no matter what.

June 21, 2010 at 10:32 AM  
Blogger Katie's Dailies said...

I go into deep mourning the first day of August because I know that I'll have to send my buddies off to school at the end of the month. I do appreciate the time to myself, but I find myself missing their noises during the day. I'm always so excited to see them after school!

June 21, 2010 at 10:45 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

Nothing wrong with needed a break for some "me time"

June 21, 2010 at 10:48 AM  
Blogger Sassy Salsa girl said...

My Bear starts half-day kindergarten (we don't have the option of full day) this fall, I'm scared to death about it, but also looking forward to the short break I'll get each day.

June 21, 2010 at 11:01 AM  
Blogger Jules AF said...

Full-day kindergarten??? How extreme!

June 21, 2010 at 11:12 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

We have full day kindergarten here as well. I almost feel like it is too long for them...but it does sound like your little guy is ready. How exciting for you to have two of your kids in school...you and your youngest are going to have such great mommy and me times together!

June 21, 2010 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

I always appreciate when parents actually like their kids.

Gives me hope.

June 21, 2010 at 11:31 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

Guess I'm awful because I am praying for all day kindergarten to be going when Michael starts (he is going to be in two years of preschool first). As is, I plan on putting him in a 4 day a week preschool (here most 3 year olds go for two days. I only wish I could do all day.

I absolutely hated half day kindergarten with my others. I still can't figure how they had enough time to learn (and watched my daughter struggle with it). School would start at 7:45, my child would be home eating lunch at 10:45 (that's riding the bus and they were the last stop).

My personal opinion is that all day kindergarten gets them ready for 1st grade. In all day kindergarten they have time to get adjusted to all the schedules (lunch, recess, arts, music, pe) while learning kindergarten level things. Kids who go half day miss out on learning to follow those schedules and balance learning. Making it harder for 1st grade to start off as smoothly as it could.

June 21, 2010 at 11:44 AM  
Blogger AiringMyLaundry said...

Oh, I love parenting breaks. I don't get them often, since my daughter is only 3, but when I do, I want to do a happy dance.

I think half day kindergarten is better. My son went to a full day and had meltdowns. I think it's too much for little kids. So I'm hoping I can find a half day kindergarten when my daughter starts too.

June 21, 2010 at 11:47 AM  
Blogger KLZ said...

Oh, she cried when she found out he wasn't coming back! My daycare frequently cuddles Wild Thing and they miss him when he's not there which I love....but we're also considering moving and I miss that love in advance.

Congrats on your extra time!

June 21, 2010 at 12:00 PM  
Blogger Eternal Lizdom said...

I'm going to be in the minority, apparently.

My husband and I both work full time so I "give my kids away" every day for a long ass day. My 2.5 year old is in a home daycare setting. My 5.5 year old is in a preschool and will start the kindergarten program there in the fall.

It's what works for our family and what we have to do. I used to really struggle with the idea that I was "giving my kids away" and that someone else was raising them. But the bottom line is that they still look to me and Dad for approval and help. I carefully select our "village" so that when I "give my kids away," I'm still very much part of the team and in touch and plugged in and all that jazz.

June 21, 2010 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger Joann Mannix said...

I was the same way, girl. I even sent my oldest two to half day kindergarten. With the youngest, it was no longer offered. Yes, hold them tight while you can, because these days will rush by you like you wouldn't think possible.

And it doesn't matter how old they get, I am always sad when the new school year rolls around. I always think, one less summer with them. And these days, it's becoming even more of a reality. Sigh.

June 21, 2010 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

I for one am very happy with the full day option for us this fall. My oldest will be attending, and he was lucky to be drawn in the lottery for full day. We have to pay for it, too. That said, with 2 parents working full time outside the home, he'll be with 'someone else' all day anyway (aftercare) so I'm glad he gets that full day 'school' experience in him.

Doesn't mean I'm going to like it when it arrives. The whole "my firstborn is a full time student" thing. Nuh uh. Not at all :(

June 21, 2010 at 12:46 PM  
Blogger Beth Zimmerman said...

I hear ya, Shell! Mommies need breaks too!

June 21, 2010 at 1:03 PM  
Blogger Shannon K. said...

Addyson hasn't started pre-school, and I wonder if I am doing her some sort of disservice. She is so attached to me right now, she will hardly even leave the hosue with daddy if I am not going along. Ugh. Sure hope she out grows it by the time kindergarten rolls around.

June 21, 2010 at 1:04 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

It is so necessary to take those breaks for the kids! I didn't for years and it caught up with my last year. I was hit with so much because I wasn't taking time out for me.

Daycare, school, babysitters, grandparents...they are all excellents sources to use so that you don't burn out!

I love being a mom just like the rest of you but remember to put yourself at the top sometimes!

June 21, 2010 at 1:08 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

June 21, 2010 at 1:08 PM  
Blogger Roxane said...

Breaks are crucial! I can't wait to start getting some :)

I have something for you. If you want to come get it drop by my place when you get a chance.


June 21, 2010 at 1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember Ryan's first day of school and he was gone the whole day. I had to keep fighting the urge to go and pick him up. But as time went on, I started to enjoy my alone time. This year I am debating homeschooling. I found a great online school.

June 21, 2010 at 1:18 PM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Breaks are important for everyone. I totally get that and I get not wanting full day preschool. They are only little for so long.

June 21, 2010 at 1:26 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Next year I have my middle in half-day, five day a week pre-k and my son in 1st grade. So I will have three hours a day, every day, with just my little guy. A nice break!

June 21, 2010 at 2:01 PM  
Blogger Claire said...

Aw! My oldest ( not yet 4!) is going to preschool this August. I've had similar feelings. I knew it was coming, I know he's ready, but full days is too much. We're doing 4 day a week afternoons (12-3) It will be a nice break for me, I'll just have one, 2 year old then! I don;t want to give mine away either..atleast, not to someone who wont give them back after a few hours!!

June 21, 2010 at 2:19 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Oh, Shell. I don't know how you do it! I'm feeling run down, and I only have one! Your little guys will do great at VBS and at school. And, you'll have more energy for them when they get home! At least, that's how it works for me ...

June 21, 2010 at 2:25 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

A full day pre-k sounds a little much.

Sometimes I think it's okay to want to give your kids away.

Mine are starting a 2-hour twice a week program in the fall...they're 2. What is wrong with me???

June 21, 2010 at 3:00 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Hmmm... As I watch the parents drop off their kids on the first day of school, it always seems like they're just about to pee their pants from all the excitement (the relieved parents, not the kids) :)

June 21, 2010 at 3:39 PM  
Blogger One Photo said...

I think you totally did the right thing, all day at four seems like far too much. I also feel exactly as you do, I think it is wonderful for toddlers and preschoolers to experience some time in school but at the same time I still want a lot of time with my daughter and really am not looking forward to the day when she goes five days a week to school either. But I am looking forward even less to the day when she will no longer call our home her home. That day I can't quite bear to think about.

June 21, 2010 at 4:17 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

I forgot about daytime VBS! My church does ours in the evening but now that I'm not working it would be great to find one in the area that does days. So giving the kids away temporarily sounds great! Enjoy the time.
Sorry that Bear won't be able to go to the previous Pre-K. It stinks when you find a school for your kid that you LOVE and then circumstances change and it doesn't work anymore. Hopefully you find a great place again.

June 21, 2010 at 4:29 PM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

My girls both did VBS 2 weeks ago -- but I helped at it, so I didn't get much of a break. And The Husband was out of town, too, so yeah... :-) #1 will start 1st grade at the beginning of August and #2 will go 3 days a week -- you think you'll have a whole bunch of extra time, but it really does go fast! Plan it and enjoy it!

June 21, 2010 at 4:38 PM  
Blogger shortmama said...

I definitely think most moms can relate! Sometimes its just nice to have a little break!

June 21, 2010 at 4:41 PM  
Blogger Patrice said...

Full day pre-K does seem like a lot. That is such a bummer you had to change Pre-K's!
I am sure your kids appreciate that you don't want to give them away! haha

June 21, 2010 at 4:54 PM  
Blogger Daisygirl said...

It all is so frustrating! Finding good schools where your kids are completely happy is so freakin hard!

The time situation is what gets me too, so the schools have to be close!

I am so ready for fall already...oh fall hurry up! Actually school starts August 11th up here...crazy!

June 21, 2010 at 5:39 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Hahaha. This totally made me laugh. I would never wish my little guy to go away, but a little break is nice!

June 21, 2010 at 6:22 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Thanks for visiting me on my SITS day! Hope you have a wonderful week.

June 21, 2010 at 7:11 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

A full day of PreK!? Wow! That is a lot. When we lived in VA, kindergarten was full day. Here in CA it's half a day. I think that is better. And I totally get what your saying. I don't want to give my kids away either...BUT... :P

June 21, 2010 at 7:21 PM  

So cute! This blog looks great. I really like your writing AND how you space the paragraphs...making it so easy to read!

Lady Bloggers sent me!

PS...I'm your newest follower:o)

June 21, 2010 at 8:33 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh SHell. You are the Perfect Mom. Because I am only too happy to give my kids away to the camp counselors every weekday morning at 9 and not pick them up til 3. It is a long day, but the nice thing is they come home exhausted and bedtime isn't an argument....

If I was a better mom I'd be so sad to see them go.

On another note, I almost started crying when you said Bear's teacher cried when you told her he wouldn't be back----how sweet?!?!

June 21, 2010 at 9:16 PM  
Blogger The Drama Mama said...

And here I am desperately searching for some kind of half day program that will take Scooby, despite that his birthday is 23 days after the cut off date, just so I can get a minute to myself. I get it though.

I got lucky that softball camp happened this week, so while it may only be a 1/2 day thing, it's still a normal morning around here.

June 21, 2010 at 11:43 PM  
Blogger Nikki said...

Your "me" time is important and you shouldn't feel guilty. I still feel guilty for it though too!
Glad you found a school. I feel like I already need to start looking for a preschool and all that fun stuff...Mia is only 8 months old. But there is so much pressure out there to find the perfect school! Not looking forward to all that!

June 21, 2010 at 11:46 PM  
Blogger  said...

That's one reason I'm a SAHM who homeschools. Although a break for a while from time to time would be nice...I don't want to give my kids away either.

June 22, 2010 at 1:01 AM  
Blogger Holly Lefevre said...

At first I was so ready to kick my almost 3 year off to the big bad preschool for the whole day. I kept thinking momma needs her time back...but then it hit me...duh...I am not having anymore this is it...enjoy her! So half day and I work in the classroom one-two days a week. So, some me time, and some kiddo time.

I would however be willing to give my kids away today!

June 22, 2010 at 1:17 AM  
Blogger Alexandra said...

I think you took the words out of everyone's mouth with that post, Shell.
Truly beautiful.

June 22, 2010 at 1:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's okay to want to give you kids away some days! I feel like that a lot. The whole driving around/getting from one place to antoher fast is crazy!! My oldest is going to preschool 3 mornings in the fall. I. CANNOT. WAIT.!!!!

June 22, 2010 at 2:53 AM  
Blogger Small Burst said...

you're funny. any parent knows what you mean. We need a break and we'll take that 3 hour bible class! BTW, THANKS for visiting me on my sits day and making me feel special!

June 22, 2010 at 6:38 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

this is why my daughter will be napping until she's in first grade. Not for her, but for me!

June 22, 2010 at 11:00 PM  
Blogger Mommie Daze said...

My son goes to half day kindergarten this fall, and I am kind of looking forward to it. But I'll still have my littlest one home all day.

June 22, 2010 at 11:26 PM  
Blogger Messy Mommy said...

I thought I was SO ready to send Otter to kindergarten. I wasn't sad at all. Until we got to kindergarten round-up. I walked up to the door with excitement and confidence. And then it was time to leave him. I bawled like a little baby.

June 24, 2010 at 9:59 PM  

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