I Don't Really Want to Give My Kids Away

I'm actually thrilled that it's Monday. Because after almost 4 weeks of my boys being out of school, two of them are at Vacation Bible School for three glorious hours every morning this week.


Three hours where they aren't asking me to entertain them. Three hours where they will be kept very busy...and bonus, they'll learn something, too.


Most importantly, they will be in different groups, so they will get time away from each other. They love each other, but when they don't get time apart, they end up wanting to kill each other.


During that time, I will just have my newly-turned 2 year-old. Who will be content to have full run of the house or whom I can easily take with me to the gym on errands.


I feel like I'll have a break this week and I'm so thankful for it.


But, I know it sounds like I want to give my kids away. It's not always the case.


After all, this is just a week of the summer. School is a different story.


My oldest starts kindergarten this fall.


Full-day kindergarten.


There is no half-day option around here.


I'm not really very emotional about it right now...it might be different when he actually goes to school, but not now.


I knew this was coming, so I was ready. He's ready, too.


But, I also had to find a preschool for Bear.


This was an absolutely agonizing process last year. He started in one preschool and it wasn't right for him, so we moved him to another...and then we freaking moved to NC unexpectedly, so I had to find him another.


But, then we found the most fantabulous preschool ever. With the most wonderful teacher. He LOVED his teacher. She LOVED him.


He would give her big hugs every day, kiss her cheek and say, "I love you, My Shell." (Miss Michelle- but his way was so cute that she never corrected him)


I was planning on sending him back there next year, right back into her classroom.


But, then our plans changed and we moved "to town."


Half an hour away from where we used to live....so now that preschool is an HOUR away from us.


I swear that I would still send him there if the time would work out. But, it doesn't. We'd have to leave here at 7:30am to get him to school...yet Monkey has to be at kindergarten back here in town at 8:15.


And so, I started searching for pre-k around here.


Btw, his teacher cried when I told her that Bear wasn't coming back next year. Yes, she loved him that much.


There weren't a whole lot of options here for pre-k.


I found one that I was happy with...until I found out that it's full day.


Full-day school for a four year-old. And full-day school that is actually cheaper than the half-day school, so hey, that's more bang for your buck, right?


But, that's just too much. He's still a little guy.


As much as I will say that it will be so nice to have some time to myself when my kids are in school- to get things done like blogging all I want cleaning the house, going to the gym,  and doing some volunteer work...well, as much as I say that I want that and as much as I probably even think it....


I don't really want to give my kids away. To send them out there all day.


With someone other than Mommy.


And so, I found Bear a half-day school instead.


I know that I will probably drop my boys off at school with a little bit of a spring in my step and a big goofy grin on my face and maybe even a sigh of relief, thinking of the break that it will give me. Especially on Mondays, when they have been together all weekend and on my each other's nerves.


Yes, I'll look forward to the break.


But, despite what I might think on those days when it seems there is too much togetherness, it's still a little bittersweet to send them off without me.


After all, I don't really want to give my kids away.