< Things I Can't Say: Becoming a Hermit

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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Becoming a Hermit

In our "old life," meaning before we made the move to NC a month and a half ago, we were always on the go.

To the park, to the museum, to the zoo, to the inflatable crazy play place, on playdates, preschool, going for walks, story time at the library, Awana, karate, t-ball, swimming, going, going, going. Each day, the boys woke up wanting to know where we were going to go that day.

If we had a day where we stayed home all day it was most likely because someone was sick. Or because I spent all our money and didn't even have gas money...but that didn't happen often because we could still walk plenty of places.

On those rare days we did stay home all day, I thought I would lose my mind.

And even after the boys were in bed, I was going, going, going.

For a drink with my best friend, for beer and wings with my college buddy, margarita night with the girls(um, really, I'm not a lush...), to my monthly moms' group meeting that I coordinated, monthly book club meeting, Bible study, yoga class, going, going, going.

But, since our move, we don't leave home much.

For the boys, playing out on the beach is enough. That's in our backyard. They aren't getting tired of it.

Even just getting to go out and play on the deck is entertaining for them. I think it's the fresh air.

And the layout of this house is so much better for the kids to have room to play and especially room to play away from each other.

Of course they still go to preschool(tired of hearing me talk about all the preschool drama yet?), but they don't really want to go anywhere else. They want to go to the beach or play in the backyard or on the deck or just hang out in the house. They don't ask if where we're going every day.

And, as for me, BFF and college buddy obviously aren't here, and I haven't found a group of women to go have margaritas with(plus, there isn't a place that has $.99 margaritas that is close to me anymore...and I'm cheap).

I got burned out on MOPS groups after coordinating one for two years, so I'm not really anxious to join another. Though, maybe I would like it if all I had to do was show up, instead of handling all the planning.

No book clubs that I know of and I'll probably join a Bible study when the new groups start up in the new year. Yoga will probably happen again at some point...Hubs does like that flexibility. ;)

But, I don't really have any desire to go anywhere, either.

I love being able to hear the ocean from my house. It brings a sense of calm over me, so maybe that's why I don't feel such a need to find time to relax; I'm already relaxed.

Hubs is also home A LOT more than he was before our move. He used to rarely make it home for dinner- maybe once a week he'd be home before the boys were in bed.

But, he's only missed dinner here once since we moved.

And then after the boys go to bed, we actually spend time together- imagine that!

I'm happy with how our family has been spending our time.

Of course, with 3 boys 5 and under, I'm still busy. I'm ALWAYS busy.

But, I feel less scattered and stressed. I have more time to really focus on my family.

But, when I think about it, I realize that we're turning into hermits.

Should I be worried?

I am coming out of my hermit shell tonight to go to a cookie exchange with 12 women that I don't know(local moms online board) and it makes me nervous. I'll go armed with baked goods and a yummy dip.

But, I figure that I could give them the cookies I baked, grab up my share, and then get a text message shortly after that with some sort of emergency at home if I decide that I'd rather continue in my life as a hermit....

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Blogger Judy@grammyreads.com said...

Sounds like you are a happy hermit. Have a Merry Christmas!

December 17, 2009 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger Ma What's 4 dinner said...

We really are SITStas, though I haven't made the move yet. And it's not to the beach. Alas, you seem so content at home, that's good. I'm never that satisfied and I'd probably kill the kids.

Talk to you soon.


December 17, 2009 at 8:40 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Go, have fun, eat lots.

I relocated from the West side of the state to the East for Jdaddy. And then, after setting up roots for a couple years, we then moved an hour away to his hometown. I have pretty much don't have any friend where we live. My bff is an hour away, and although we do get together, it's just hard. So I know what you mean!!

December 17, 2009 at 8:47 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

That doesn't make you a hermit at all!!

I hope the cookie exchange went well :)

December 17, 2009 at 9:29 AM  
Blogger Foursons said...

Your life in NC sounds perfect to me! Let us know how the cookie exchange goes. I bet you may just meet your new GNO buddies!

December 17, 2009 at 9:34 AM  
Blogger Yankee Girl said...

I think if you are happy with staying home then it's okay. And just because you aren't doing as much as you used to do doesn't mean you are becoming a hermit. Maybe, just maybe, you needed this time to slow down.

December 17, 2009 at 9:45 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

You sound like you are happy not hiding so don't worry and enjoy every minute! Have fun at the cookie exchange!

December 17, 2009 at 10:03 AM  
Blogger beenomom said...

Sometimes it is nice to just slow down for a while. I think sometimes we over do it and don't know how to just be. It is good for our kids as well to learn how to play and be happy just being home sometimes. Sounds like they have figured that out! I think as long as you still make time for yourself to get out then your are doing just fine being a hermit!! Enjoy your time!

December 17, 2009 at 10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The beach has a way of making you pull on the reigns a bit. The atmosphere is so relaxing, I think it just seeps into your skin and takes over. Lol. I know it does for me, anyway. :) I hope you have fun at the group gathering. If not, there's nothing wrong with being a hermit. You have your family and you have God. They're the most important things. And a new Bible study group could really help bringing you out of your shell if you're really itching to get out. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Then again, I could be saying this because I myself am a bit of a hermit and am just used to it. So, is that a good thing? Lol. Hope you have a good time tonight, though.

December 17, 2009 at 11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sounds like a great life for a hermit;) \\


December 17, 2009 at 12:04 PM  
Blogger Twincerely,Olga said...

I think your all doing great! I grew up at the beach and there is nothing like it to soothe the soul!!Enjoy your cookie swap and maybe you'll meet some nice ladies!Or not?LOL

December 17, 2009 at 12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a total hermit!

I work / am out of the house 14 hours a day, so when I am home - unless I have a party to do, you best believe I am in my jammies at home. We just moved in January so - that's been our vacation spot. I love being home with my babies and my knocked down Christmas tree.

Good luck tonight and grab up some yumtastic recipes to make while your listening to the ocean. I miss living by the beach. Sigh.


December 17, 2009 at 12:37 PM  
Blogger Working Mommy said...

It is nice to be able to not have plans - isn't it?? Just take a breath and cherish the moments with your family - that is what life is all about!


December 17, 2009 at 1:15 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Screw the dip! Take booze! :D Cookie exchanges are fun. Good luck!

December 17, 2009 at 1:20 PM  
Blogger MommyLisa said...

It will change soon enough. Enjoy the bonding time.

December 17, 2009 at 1:52 PM  
Blogger carissajade said...

Sometimes its nice to have a change in pace... Boy would I like one.

December 17, 2009 at 3:08 PM  
Blogger adrienzgirl said...

Enjoy the down time, you will be back to running, running, running sooooooooooon enough!

December 17, 2009 at 3:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you have a good time at the cookie exchange.

December 17, 2009 at 4:18 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

I went in "seasons" with the going when my kids were younger. There are just some times you have to get out of the house and then others when you are content. Don't worry, you'll never be a hermit! The kids will keep you far too busy:)

December 17, 2009 at 8:32 PM  
Blogger becca said...

Wow - sounds wonderful. I'm a bit of a hermit too. We have fun at home, I'm comfortable at home, it's Frickin Freezing outside! I actually just told myself I HAVE to plan more play dates. I need to get out more, do more, plan more. I'm just tired and it's easier to stay home. Pathetic, I know. I guess after 11 years in NYC, I'm enjoying the quiet!

I wish we had a beach in our backyard! Sounds heavenly.

December 17, 2009 at 9:53 PM  
Blogger Meg @ Higgins Happenings said...

As long as your happy - that's all that matters! I'm jealous of having the Ocean in your back yard! Im in the midwest - very center of the US!! Closest ocean is 9 hours away hmph. Good luck at the cookie exchange! Let us know how it goes!

December 17, 2009 at 10:16 PM  
Blogger Brandi said...

Nothing wrong with being a beach hermit! Our boys LOVE the beach. I wish it was in my back yard instead of down the street, though (there would be a lot less sand in my car)! :)

December 17, 2009 at 10:21 PM  
Blogger Kristina said...

I saw that you commented on my site and I wanted to check out yours! I love it and I am going to follow as soon as I post this comment.

I am a field leader for MOPS International and believe me, it is a whole different experience when you no longer have any responsibilities on a MOPS morning.

I am kind of hermitizing *is that a word* myself too, however I am in upstate ny so the weather kind of forces me to slow down

December 17, 2009 at 11:17 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

I'm glad you're finding more peace,contentment, and family togetherness in your new home. How awesome that you can hear the ocean from your house!! Where in NC are you? We vacationed at a beach house in Holden Beach, NC this past summer - also, right on the beach! Can't immagine getting to LIVE there year 'round! What a dream. Where did you move from?

December 18, 2009 at 8:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's how it is for me. We moved to DC in August from a small town where I was involved in lots of activities. Now with a baby and a new big city to learn (and all that parallel parking which I stink at!) I've found it easier to just stay home. But if I lived on the beach... I don't think I would ever do anything other then go out in my backyard! I'm so jealous of you!

December 19, 2009 at 8:51 AM  
Blogger gina said...

A new home with a beach in your abckyard? sounds like heaven! It's only been a short time - you will eventually feel the need and want to venture out and explore your new town but for right now it sounds like you are all reconnecting with each other and starting to lay roots in your new home! Enjoy it while it lasts!! Besides you are not hermits- you are homebodies... that sounds much better, no?

December 20, 2009 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger Tracie said...

At least you're a hermit with a view!

December 23, 2009 at 8:17 PM  

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