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Friday, July 22, 2011

Blog Friend Feature: Absolutely Narcissism

Oh, am I excited for this week's Blog Friend Feature! I actually did a dorky squeeeee and clapped my hands when she agreed to be BFF this week. Because she is one of the most hilarious and straight-forward blogging mamas around. I know that when I go to her blog, I'm going to laugh! And think about how much fun she and I would have hanging out together.

Meet Sandra of Absolutely Narcissism:

I Am Not a Disney Mom

What is a Disney Mom you wonder?

A Disney Mom is one of those mothers who transforms even the most fabulous childhood affairs into an extravaganza.

For instance, a sleepover, which is already fun because it’s a time when two or more children get to be together overnight, thus providing them with lots and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots...well you get the idea...of extra time together, is made even more fun when Disney Mom breaks out cupcakes at midnight and says, “Let’s decorate them!”

Disney Mom does not consider summer vacation to be fun simply because it’s summer vacation.


Disney Mom transforms every summer day into Disney World, by insuring that there are plenty of field trips: public pools, water slides, beach days, amusement parks...

If the outing includes cotton candy, then even better.

Despite her fatigue (because she was up till 3am with the sleepover girls giving them mani/pedis), the next morning, Disney Mom will chirp, “Let’s make homemade cinnamon buns for breakfast!”

I am not a Disney Mom.

I think summer vacation is exciting enough due to the simple fact that the kids are NOT in school.

Because the alternative to NOT being in school is BEING IN SCHOOL.

See. Nothing but fun fun fun when I theorize it, right.

Here’s the thing: I know that my intense negative feelings towards Disney Mom are not Disney Mom’s issue.

They are completely and totally my own.

Because although I am NOT Disney Mom, I AM Competitive Mom.

I am the mother who will not be outdone.

Oh, I will throw a fabulous sleepover too! I will be creative and fun as well!

I will have those kids in the pool at midnight, swimming with glow sticks under the water.

I will be filling up water guns for the entire neighbourhood, and orchestrating the water fight of the CENTURY!

But contrary to Disney Mom, shortly into my endeavour to outdo my nemesis, my legs will get weak, my smile will falter, and I may drool.

And you can bet, I will inadvertently teach the children a four letter word.

But this rivalry has got to stop.

I can’t win.

Nobody can beat Disney Mom.

And if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

So the next time Disney Mom is out running around with the kids, supplying water balloons, and squealing with joy at how much fun the children are having, I’m going to help her.

I’m going to be her ally.

When she’s not looking, I’m going to take the hose, and spray the crap out of her.

I'm so NOT a Disney Mom either. I think I'm just Mean Mama. Please leave Sandra some comment love here and then go follow her fabulous blog!

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Blogger Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

As a fellow competitive, non Disney mom, I greatly suspect that the actual Disney mom may be supplementing her energy by sprinkling crystal meth in her crystal light. At least believing that is what gets me through . . .:)

July 22, 2011 at 8:42 AM  
Blogger Singedwingangel said...

I am definitely not anywhere close to a Disney mom. Luckily I was raised in an area that believes the kids have imaginations and 2 legs and hands they need to use them.. I would go crazy trying to keep them entertained all the time like that.

July 22, 2011 at 8:45 AM  
Blogger Kelli MW said...

I adore this because it is so true! And I have to agree with Annie... there's no way Disney Mom = Unmedicated Mom. Or maybe that's my competitive nature speaking.

July 22, 2011 at 8:46 AM  
Blogger Desperate Housemommy said...

Oh, girls, this spoke to me. For I am a recovering Disney mom. I lost my Disney edge when The Twins were three and The Small One came along. And life has been oh, so much better ever since. Cocktail, anyone?

July 22, 2011 at 8:47 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

I am sooo not a Disney mom. I'm terrible at that kind of stuff, which makes me wonder if perhaps my childhood was really so lame that I can't even think of fun stuff for my kids to do.

July 22, 2011 at 8:55 AM  
Blogger Joshua said...

I'm not a Disney Mom either, but for other reasons.

The woman next door? She's a Disney Mom, but not in the way you describe here. She's one of those 30-year-old women who is obsessed with Disney Princesses. She wants to be one. She's the 30-year-old you see waiting in line to meet the Princesses at Magic Kingdom by herself.

July 22, 2011 at 9:07 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

This is so funny, I try to do the creative stuff but don't have a creative bone in my body. I DID make Mickey Mouse pancakes the other day thought and our sleepover guest kept saying "I wish my mom made me these." I froze thinking that mom was going to hate me after this. Good thing they don't live nearby or I would be watching out for the spray hose.

Great post and great feature, Shell.

July 22, 2011 at 9:11 AM  
Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Squeeee!! Love Sandra!

I don't think I could EVER be a Disney mom. Maybe for a day.

Or not. Just reading what they do? Is exhausting. :)

July 22, 2011 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

I like to do occasional fun days with the kids, but I don't have the energy to be a disney mom. 5 kids daily already takes a toll on me. If I added the task of trying to keep 5 kids with 12 years of age difference happy on outings, I would be locked up for the remainder of my life (anybody's guess if it'd be jail or mental institution)

July 22, 2011 at 9:45 AM  
Blogger Emmy said...

The chance to squirt my kids with water guns leads me to helping water gun fights :). A Disney mom would be a big bonus

July 22, 2011 at 9:54 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

This is so great!! I'm not Disney mom either...I'll help you spray the crap out of her ;)
I just recently discovered Sandra...she cracks me up!

July 22, 2011 at 10:06 AM  
Anonymous molly said...

lol. I try to be a Disney mom but it never seems to work out like I plan. And then I get all sad about it and feel inferior. I used to be a wedding planner so I feel like people expect me to be party planner extraordinaire! But here's the deal. I'm good at spending other people's money. Not my own.

I'm a new follower of her blog!

July 22, 2011 at 10:08 AM  
Blogger Christine Siracusa said...

Great post!
I believe making summer too fun will result in my children refusing to return to school in September. At which point I would have to enter an asylum. I try to make it just fun enough and am not afraid of a little boredom...it breeds creativity, right?

July 22, 2011 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Eh, I'm not a Disney mom, hell I'm not even a crappy festival mom. I've never been a "Let us do crafts" sort of mom. I'm more of a "Lets laugh at that insurance commercial where all the guys get kicked in the balls," sort of mom.

July 22, 2011 at 10:21 AM  
Blogger vinobaby said...

Ha-love it! I am far from a Disney Mom. And I am surrounded by them--literally--living not too far from Disney. I am not perky. I suck at playing with my kid and planning parties. And I hate the mouse. I am surrounded by Disney Moms who literally have to go there a few times a month...and even THEY are dressed up. Ack. I let my kiddo entertain himself most of the time...but we do have a buttload of awesome water guns around here...


July 22, 2011 at 10:31 AM  
Blogger Hutch said...

Good for you! My childhood biff's mom was a Disney Mom and it has carried in to our adulthood. Every party has to be this huge affair with invites, decorations, catering AND favors. Yes, favors. For a 60th bday? Seriously? To each their own I guess.

July 22, 2011 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger Charlene said...

LOL....I try to do fun stuff with my kids, but I don't go overboard and I'm a yeller. So while my kids might be having a blast fighting with water balloons, I'm not joining them, I'll be the one standing there screaming about the water being tracked through the house and the huge mess that no one will clean but me!

July 22, 2011 at 10:48 AM  
Blogger Hopes said...


I'm am in no way considered a Disney Mom. More like a Surviving Mom. If I am able to survive this summer with three boys at home, it will be a friggin miracle!

Sure, I love to do things with the boys. Take them to the zoo, or another outing. But it isn't ever single day and if I'm honest it is more for my sanity than anything else. I get the kids out and distracted so they don't kill eachother at home.

July 22, 2011 at 11:22 AM  
Blogger Jenn [ Crippled Girl ] said...

I have my moments when I try to be like a Disney Mom - not with kids but with throwing parties and entertaining. Hubs likes to remind me that no one else cares about the napkins matching as much as I do. lol

July 22, 2011 at 11:22 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Thanks Shell, for this fabulous opportunity to be your BFF for a day! One day I really will be, like I'm going to buy the house next to yours!...k, admit you're a little scared now...
Seriously, thank you for having me.It was an honour and a pleasure! xoxoxox

July 22, 2011 at 11:26 AM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

I just love Sandra! I am so not a Disney mom either, especially since I hate mornings. I do want to come to one of these slumber parties and play with glow sticks in the pool at midnight. Sign me up!

July 22, 2011 at 11:35 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I'm so not a Disney mom either. I have no idea what I would do with my kids if I were at home with them everyday. Probably eat way too many chips.

July 22, 2011 at 11:35 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I am nowhere near a Disney Mom but if I ever meet one I will surely send my kids over to her house so I can enjoy some quiet time with my laptop.

July 22, 2011 at 11:36 AM  
Blogger Sparkling said...

UGH. It's a short ride between helicopter mom and disney mom. And I'm not sure which could put me in the asylum faster. I knew I followed the narcissist for a reason!

July 22, 2011 at 11:40 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

I tried to be a Disney Mom with my two grandsons - I took them tons of places to amuse them. Then one day the oldest said to me, "You never take us anywhere." I realized then that I might as well have stayed home and watched TV all day. They have the memory of a gnat.

July 22, 2011 at 11:42 AM  
Blogger From Tracie said...

I am most definitely not a Disney mom! How scary? I wouldn't last one day.

July 22, 2011 at 11:45 AM  
Blogger Joanne said...

I love Disney....ok I am a Disney freak there I said it. Love the parks the movies and I will knock people over um... er...nudge to get a better glimpse of the Light parade. But alas I have never really reached Disney Mom status. I'm more of a beatnik, artsy, do anything to get the kids to laugh kind of mom.
Great post!
Blessings, Joanne
p.s. day 4 of the diet and I wake up dreaming of loaves of italian bread and globs of butter. I think I may have a teensy weensy bit of a problem :O)

July 22, 2011 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger laughingmom said...

You would have to fight my kids for the hose - they learned all of the best tricks from us at a young age!

July 22, 2011 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger 2busy said...

I know those mothers, and I am NOT one. My poor children are so deprived!

July 22, 2011 at 11:57 AM  
OpenID amyblam.com said...

I LOVE that I'm not a Disney mom and bratchild and her friends have more fun with me than with the mom who took speed to stay up for a week to construct a lifesize castle birthday cake that doubled as a playhouse.

July 22, 2011 at 12:03 PM  
Blogger Gina aka Slappy said...

While my kids are over at your perfect sleep over/water gun extravaganza .... this chick will be sitting out on my deck ALONE drinking an entire box of wine. ;)

July 22, 2011 at 12:08 PM  
Anonymous Pamela said...

People may hate me for saying this, but what is wrong with really enjoying and planning fun things with your kids and/or other people's kids? Or being high energy?! I don't have a problem with Disney Mom. I don't always have the energy to be her, but if she is happy and content, and bringing joy into the lives of children, who cares? Besides, you never know what is going on inside a Disney mom, she may make it look easy, but she's probably struggling with the same issues as every other mom behind closed doors and silent lips. We only get a glimpse of the lives of Disney moms...and parenting is not a competitive sport.

July 22, 2011 at 12:10 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Aw, Sandra is already one of my faves! Hi Sandra!

July 22, 2011 at 12:32 PM  
Blogger Kristin @ What She Said said...

I'm definitely not a Disney Mom. And I'm OK with that.

That said, four-letter words are gonna slip out anytime I plan... well, pretty much anything. It's inevitable.

July 22, 2011 at 12:50 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

And this is why everybody loves Sandra so much! ;)

I'm not a Disney Mom either...not even close.

July 22, 2011 at 12:57 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Okay, I have to head over and read her blog. That is hilarious.

July 22, 2011 at 1:04 PM  
Blogger Bouncin' Barb said...

I was never a Disney mom. Maybe that's why my son is so angry with me and won't talk to me? Who knows. I just can't stand Mom's who are so perfect. So I'm with you on hosing one down and saying Fuck It! Love you Sandra. You know it too!

July 22, 2011 at 1:36 PM  
Blogger Missy said...

You and I might be soul mates. Love the Disney Mom analogy. I have a great "not a Disney Mom" sleepover story I'm going to have to share soon. Heading over to your blog now.

July 22, 2011 at 1:38 PM  
Blogger Jackie said...

I think I fall somewhere between Disney Mom and competitive mom, though if Disney World is included, then I'm avoiding mom!

July 22, 2011 at 2:08 PM  
Blogger The Woven Moments said...

Hilarious. I'm no Disney Mom, either.

I wonder what comes between Disney Mom and Mean Mom.

Maybe PBS Kids Mom?

July 22, 2011 at 2:17 PM  
Blogger Just Jennifer said...

It seems to me that the majority of us are NOT Disney Moms, but they are out there. I am so done with comparing myself to other moms and my kids to other kids. Disney Mom can do her thing all she wants, and I'll do mine, thank you very much!

July 22, 2011 at 3:25 PM  
Blogger K said...

I don't know where Disney Moms get their energy. If I get four days of good sleep in a row and have breaks from my children, then, maybe, I will get super creative and fun for an hour or so, but it takes a conscious effort. I can't imagine being that upbeat, that fun all the time. But my girls still seem pretty happy and definitely invent ways to be creative all on their own.

July 22, 2011 at 3:34 PM  
Anonymous Crystal said...

I am so NOT Disney Mom that I may be "Play With Sticks In The Dirt And Be Happy To Have Them Mom"!

July 22, 2011 at 3:41 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I guess I'd be somewhere in the middle. Cuz I don't do it up, whether it's in the spirit of making things perfects or competition.

I guess I'm Lazy Mom.

July 22, 2011 at 3:58 PM  
Blogger Lizbeth said...

Yay for teaching Disney mom a four lettered word or two and hosing her down!

July 22, 2011 at 3:59 PM  
Blogger Elaine A. said...

Oh crap, sleepovers are in my future, aren't they? Hopefully at other people's (Disney Mom) houses. I'm ALL for that!!

I prefer to be called a bloggin' Mom. ;)

July 22, 2011 at 4:05 PM  
Blogger Cindi said...

LOL! Very cute and leaves me thankful I have outgrown Disney Mom days.

July 22, 2011 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger Di said...

Does Disney Mom also always have clean, unwrinkled clothes on, her hair is done and she's wearing makeup? Ugh..I don't think Disney Mom and I would get along. Glad not all of us are her though!

July 22, 2011 at 4:22 PM  
Blogger Kir said...

Hi Sandra...I love meeting new bloggers via Shell...she always brings us the best people on Friday!

I am saying that there are no Disney moms...(go ahead tell me where Ariel, Belle's or Nemo's mom is!) But I get this...and agree. I am so not a Disney mom...and I can promise you if you hose one down I am going to giggle my butt off.

Off to visit your blog!

July 22, 2011 at 4:38 PM  
Blogger Jenine said...

I am the anti-Disney mom. In some circles, it can be considered the Anti-Christ. I love when my kids are happy, but I believe in natural happiness more than the artificial sugar-induced type happiness.

Not only am I not a Disney mom but I can't actually tolerate being around Disney moms. The happy, bubbly sugar high hits my steel fortress of sarcasm and the glaring blast of light from all the sparks allows me to perform a Houdini and escape while Disney mom is blinded. The screech of tires and burned rubber on the asphalt of the park playground parking lot is the only evidence of my brief time in such proximity to the abominable Disney mom.

July 22, 2011 at 5:17 PM  
Blogger Lazarus said...

Sandra might not be a Disney Mom but she's a helluva entertaining blogger, great job in picking her!

July 22, 2011 at 5:18 PM  
Blogger Julianna said...

Glow sticks. Underwater. At midnight.

You are a genius!

July 22, 2011 at 6:35 PM  
Blogger Katie Hurley, LCSW said...

That is so funny! I am so NOT a Disney mom either! I just don't want to drag two kids all over the place all summer only to have them tired and cranky every night...is it wrong?? What happened to down time? Looking forward to following, thanks Shell.

July 22, 2011 at 7:16 PM  
Blogger Hines-Sight said...

That's funny. I think I may have met one today. We were at the end of VBS and she had about four children in front of the donation jar. I was running late with my child, but they would not get out of the way, and we kept standing there, waiting to put our money in the jar.

One little girl responded to a question, and the mom in a chirpy, smiley, "Disney" way corrected her and continued to smile as she said,"Yes, please!"...trying to get her to say "Yes, Please!" I know deep-down that she wanted to say, "Yes,please, DAMNIT", but she was still too sugary sweet to notice that she was being rude and not hurrying up her posse when others were waiting for her daughter to say "Yes, Please" so we could put some coins in the donation box in the 110 degree heat here in NC.

I love Disney and love to go, and have the best time. I'm vacation mom.

July 22, 2011 at 7:21 PM  
Blogger Venassa said...

I will definitely not be a Disney Mom but you can bet I will try. And I totally agree that we should all try to spray the crap out of the Disney Moms with the hose.

July 22, 2011 at 8:22 PM  
Blogger JamieAnne of A Dash of Domestic said...

Not a Disney Mom...but one of my sisters is.

Go ahead and spray her with water. ;)

Loved your post!

July 22, 2011 at 10:44 PM  
Anonymous Rebecca said...

I'm the 'throw all the toys (and kids) in the backyard and let the kids be' mom.

July 22, 2011 at 11:23 PM  
Blogger Roxanne and Lorraine said...

I'm pretty sure my mother was a not-Disney-mom. I mostly say this because I remember summer being, "hey you're home from school. Congrats. Don't burn the house down or kill your sisters. Have fun."

Thus, there was a shitton of sleeping during summers. I turned out perfectly okay too! Or maybe like mediocrely okay, but still okay is what I'm saying.


July 22, 2011 at 11:26 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Tuna said...

Disney land ride just make me nauseous. But love Sandra.

July 22, 2011 at 11:32 PM  
Blogger Debbie(single;complicated) said...

ha ha ha ha...I guess I am somewhere in between...I try to be Disney mom..I am not competitive mom..but there will be shaky legs, some drooling and maybe not a 4 letter word...but definitely a 6 letter one..DADGUM it!:)

July 22, 2011 at 11:58 PM  
Anonymous tracy@sellabitmum said...

Oh I love Sandra. Such a great post. I am not a Disney Mom either.

July 22, 2011 at 11:58 PM  
Blogger XLMIC said...

LOL... I am the mom who begrudgingly allows the sleepover for 12 girls under the age of 9, scheduling it for a Wednesday during a school holiday in the hopes that everyone will be out of town. Of course, no one is in this economy. I then MAKE them go to sleep by 11 by sitting in the room 'shushing' them starting at 10:30 and making the troublemakers go out of the room and all sleep separately. No cupcakes, no glowstick swimming. I am way meaner than you, Sandra.

July 23, 2011 at 12:17 AM  
Blogger Alessandra said...

Great post! Somehow, you never struck me like the Disney mom type, the spray water on Disney mom type I can totally see....

July 23, 2011 at 1:16 AM  
Blogger Mercy D'souza said...

That is not me. I'm more the type who will push them off to do something on their own rather than entertaining them every waking minute. It makes the times when I do do something with them more special.

July 23, 2011 at 7:04 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I love Sandra! She is the best!

I am not a Disney Mom, but I do like to throw a good party with drinks!

July 23, 2011 at 8:16 AM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

I am not a Disney Mom, but I love to attend events they plan. They are great fun and food is awesome.

July 23, 2011 at 8:20 AM  
Blogger MrsJenB said...

I love JDaniel4's Mom's attitude - why not benefit from someone else's insanity? She makes a terrific point. ;)

I like to think that I'll be a Disney Mom someday, but I like to think a lot of things. Like all that yarn in the attic will one day become handmade afghans. Stuff like that. :)

July 23, 2011 at 10:55 AM  
Blogger Linda Medrano said...

I love Sandra. She is NOT a Disney mom, but she's a lot more interesting because she's not. Her kids are lucky to have her even with her occasional boob slips.

July 23, 2011 at 11:39 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Pancakes said...

I love your honesty Sandra!

July 23, 2011 at 2:19 PM  
Blogger LuLu Kellogg said...

I was never a Disney Mom. I march to the beat of my own drum.

Sandra is hilarious and so honest about everything. That is what I LOVE about her. Did I mention she's hilarious? Her Blog is the first one I always read.

From a Non-Disney Mom,

July 23, 2011 at 5:31 PM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

Disney Moms sound like they are tired and broke because they are spending all the money on all these things and events. I like to do a lot of things with my kid but I make sure they are cheap and or free

July 23, 2011 at 6:28 PM  
Blogger amygrew said...

I just need to get my kids the invites to those playdates!

July 23, 2011 at 6:44 PM  
Blogger DysFUNctional Mom said...

I absolutely adore Sandra!
Disney Moms are losers in disguise. Their main mission in life is to make us Slacker Mamas look bad!

July 23, 2011 at 10:38 PM  
Blogger Ruth said...

Oh, I know some Disney moms.
I am not one of them.

July 23, 2011 at 11:53 PM  
Blogger I Wonder Wye said...

Just reading this makes me tired. And depressed. i would flunk mom-hood because I wouldn't have the energy to even consider being awesome 24/7 to kids who are perfectly capable of having a great time on their own.

July 24, 2011 at 12:50 AM  
OpenID madrassi said...

I liked this concept of Disney mom! that's fun readying about taking back into memories of sleepover at childhood with cousins.

came from Sandra's blog.

July 24, 2011 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I'm already following - love her blog! I can always appreciate her sense of humor!!

Yeah, not Disney mom here either. Too busy keeping my head above water most days! ;-)

July 24, 2011 at 2:06 PM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I love the term Disney mom. That is awesome. I'm not one either.

July 24, 2011 at 3:29 PM  
Blogger Rach (DonutsMama) said...

I'm not Disney mom either, but I do get caught up occasionally in the mom-petition! But I will say, I totally want to be the cool mom!

July 24, 2011 at 4:23 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

One of my favorites!! xoxo

July 24, 2011 at 6:53 PM  
Blogger Karen Greenberg said...

I am definitely NOT a Disney Mom. Unfortunately for my children, I'm not a competitive mom, either. I'm just boring old "you have plenty to do to keep you busy" mom. I might even be, "Don't tell me you're bored..." mom. Oh, now I feel terrible. Thanks for a great post! :-0)

July 24, 2011 at 10:10 PM  
Blogger Optimistic Mom said...

WOW! I am definitely not a Disney mom. I was exhausted from the first few lines of describing Disney Mom. I am all for fun, but that is just too much for me. Can you find out what prescription Disney Mom takes? I must be taking the wrong vitamins.

July 25, 2011 at 10:59 AM  
Blogger I'm Jennifer. said...

Sandra, you cracked me up! Loved this post. I wish I had just a smidge of Disney mom in me (or whatever drug fuels the Disney mom). My poor kids get lame mom instead.

July 25, 2011 at 1:50 PM  
Blogger RoryBore said...

Thanks for featuring Sandra...Love her...may even have a small crush on her. especially since I am now picturing her in a big water gun fight. LOL

July 25, 2011 at 4:30 PM  
Blogger Charlotte said...

LMAO! I love the ending to this story... mainly because the entire time I was reading it, I was thinking something along the same lines. Who is this mystical Disney Mom? Does she actually exist and where does she get her energy from?? I'd so much rather hang out with this momma--she sounds hysterical!

Thanks, Shell, for another excellent BFF :)

July 28, 2011 at 11:32 AM  

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