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Friday, November 19, 2010

Blog Friend Feature: You Might be a Motherbitch

I'm SO excited for you to meet this week's BFF. We have followed each other's blogs almost since the beginning and eventually figured out that we have so much in common that we might as well be sisters. I even refer to her as my bloggy sis.

The Mommyologist is on a mission to bring Mom Sexy back. She has such an honest voice and makes me laugh! She's also earned some really fabulous honors, too. If you aren't reading her already, you are seriously missing out.  I never miss a single post of hers!

We all know how awesome Shell is...but did you know that besides being a total sweetheart, an awesome blogger, and a great friend, she is also an inventor? That's right...Shell has invented this great little word that I've used in a sentence on more than one occasion:


Shell's definition of motherbitch is: what the mean girls of junior high turn into when they age and procreate.

In honor of rising above motherbitches everywhere, I've written a short list of what constitutes being labeled as a motherbitch. Enjoy.

You Might Be A Motherbitch...

- If my kid picks his nose and hands me a booger and I don't even flinch for one second and you look at the two of us with disgust...you might be a motherbitch.

- If your house is like a freakin' museum and you invite my 4-year old over for a playdate and he accidentally knocks over some shitty looking china figurine that you've conveniently placed on an end table and you get pissed when he knocks it over even though he wouldn't have knocked it over if you'd been smart enough to put it somewhere a bit higher...you might be a motherbitch.

- If you are super duper sweet to a mom friend's face and then do nothing but talk shit about her once she walks away...you might be a motherbitch.

- If you criticize another mother for her decision to stay at home with her kids, go to work, work from home, work part-time away from home, etc...you might be a motherbitch.

- If a new mother vents to you about how exhausted and overwhelmed she is with her newborn and you look her her with a snarky smile and say, "Oh, we never had that problem with our little Suzy Freakin' Sunshine."...you might be a motherbitch.

- If you get embarrassed talking about poop with other moms, when everyone knows that poop is the universal mom-uniter...you might be a motherbitch.

- If one of your friends bends down to tie her kid's shoe and in the process exposes her butt crack and thong hanging out of her low rise jeans and you don't either step in front of her so no one will see or tell her to get up right away...you might be a motherbitch.

- If you don't admit that your life has changed...like not even one little bit, after having a child, you are definitely a motherbitch.

A huge thanks to Shell for giving me permission to use her word for this post. Now, just to show you that I'm not a motherbitch, I'm going to go wipe my son's ass since he's yelling at me from the bathroom as I finish writing this.
LOVE it!!! Please leave the Mommyologist some comment love here and then go follow her FABULOUS blog if you don't already!

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Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Love it! I'm laughing my tush off over here!

November 19, 2010 at 7:22 AM  
Blogger Casey said...

I love mommyologist

November 19, 2010 at 7:31 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

I think I might be a motherbitch. Is there help for me? At least some hope???

November 19, 2010 at 8:05 AM  
Blogger Saucy B said...

Love that word, love that post! Always enjoy "hanging out" with both of you ladies in the blogosphere. I think cool, non-motherbitches must have a lucky way of finding each other.

November 19, 2010 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

I love her too! She is a great blogger and has helped me bring my Mom Sexy back!

And yes you are amazing Shell for coining the term Motherbitch. I know way too many of those moms!

November 19, 2010 at 8:17 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

Thank you so much for featuring me today! Together, I think we can rid the world of motherbitches...or at least we can team up and kick their asses??

Love ya!

November 19, 2010 at 8:25 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

I love Mary!! Great choice for a feature.

LOL at the bending over with the crack and thong hanging out.

November 19, 2010 at 8:33 AM  
Blogger {Simply} BC said...

I love it! I love her! :) xoxo

November 19, 2010 at 9:11 AM  
Blogger natalee said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS>>>> I know some and I never knew what they were called... LOL!!!!

November 19, 2010 at 9:12 AM  
Blogger Erinsgobragh said...


November 19, 2010 at 9:47 AM  
OpenID rebeccaslife said...

Phew, I'm just glad I'm not one ;).

November 19, 2010 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

I love it!

November 19, 2010 at 10:10 AM  
Blogger Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

Poop is the universal mom uniter.

November 19, 2010 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

Great list! Every bit of it is true!

November 19, 2010 at 10:23 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

Hilarious.... Can't wait to read more from her!!! Also, thanks to you guys, I know what to watch for when I have kids....

November 19, 2010 at 10:30 AM  
Blogger That One Mom said...


November 19, 2010 at 10:42 AM  
Blogger Di said...

This is great. Luckily I was never "cool" enough to be a mean junior high girl so I think that excludes me from the motherbitch gene! :)

November 19, 2010 at 10:47 AM  
Blogger MsBabyPlan said...

This is so cool.

November 19, 2010 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

LOVE THIS!! I know PLENTY of motherbitches!!

November 19, 2010 at 11:43 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

Mary, what a great post! Love it. And you're spot on. I don't get it when some moms can't deal w/ boogers/poop/diarrhea, etc...and we moms need to stick together, not fight each other!

SHell, good choice! I've loved Mary for a long time, too. Just haven't done a good job of keeping of w/ anyone....

November 19, 2010 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger Life Without Pink said...

Mary - I am cracking up...somewhere in all of your posts the topic "poop" always comes up. Love it! You are so real girl! I'd talk poop with you any day, haha.

November 19, 2010 at 12:18 PM  
Blogger kmcaffee said...

I adore both of your blogs!! And I am not a motherbitch at all - I like other mothers way too much!! Plus, how would I cover my own mothering blunders?? LOL! Keep posting together, please!! :)

November 19, 2010 at 12:44 PM  
Anonymous ChrissyMacCEO said...

Love this post, I can't stand motherbitches either! LOL! This is my new favorite word!

November 19, 2010 at 12:56 PM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

Oh Shell.This chick is RIGHT up my alley!  I love it! All of those are not "might" - hell no. Those are all motherbitches. Times two. And I know some. And they get the MommaKiss Salute when I see them acting as such. I'm going to get to her place as soon as I can.-

November 19, 2010 at 1:19 PM  
Blogger Go Mommy said...

I love the mommyologist!

November 19, 2010 at 1:29 PM  
Blogger Helena said...

Ok, I'm taking notes. When I have kids, I do not want to be a Motherbitch.

November 19, 2010 at 1:32 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

AWESOME BFF Shell! I love The Mommyologist!!

I have a friend that has a Suzy Freakin' Sunshine. She's definitely a Motherbitch.

November 19, 2010 at 2:05 PM  
Blogger Katie Hurley, LCSW said...

Excellent as usual! I know them well! So glad Brian Federman reminded me to keep reading...and thanks for the new find!
Katie Hurley

November 19, 2010 at 2:07 PM  
Blogger Daisygirl said...

haha I'm dying...and so checking my jeans for butt crack!

The best one is those girls that think their kids/babies are angels!

Great feature!

November 19, 2010 at 2:20 PM  
Blogger Michelle Saunderson said...

I definitely know a couple of those.

November 19, 2010 at 2:22 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

I already the Mommyologist! Great feature and post! :)

November 19, 2010 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

HILARIOUS! Why didn't I think of Motherbitch? Loves it.

November 19, 2010 at 4:43 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

The worst is when there is a motherbitch in the family. Cuz those kinds you just can't escape!

November 19, 2010 at 5:13 PM  
Blogger WhisperingWriter said...

Love this.

And I talk about poop a lot. Pee, too.

November 19, 2010 at 5:58 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

oh, I love these kinds of posts.

the ones that say what we're thinking.

awesome. and thank you.

November 19, 2010 at 6:15 PM  
Blogger TheBabyMammaChronicles said...

Ladies, love the term! And the list is fantastic.

November 19, 2010 at 8:00 PM  
Blogger blueviolet said...

I love her and I'm glad you gave her the opp to use the word!

November 19, 2010 at 10:24 PM  
Blogger Date Girl said...

Motherbitch, now that is a great word. Ugh, I hate those snarky women who act like their kid is just sooo perfect. I also can't stand women who judge others for their chosen occupation, either stay at home, working part time or going back to work.

November 19, 2010 at 11:58 PM  
Blogger C.Mom said...

So the problem with this post is that I was reading it at the hairdressers and seriously laughed (ok squealed) out loud!! Holy cow -- the but crack/thong almost made me choke on my water!! Love it!!

November 20, 2010 at 4:18 PM  
Blogger Honey B. said...

lolololol...so telling Queen B. about this, she'll love it!

November 21, 2010 at 3:51 PM  
Blogger RN Mama said...

I love love love any post about a motherbitch!! Thank you so much for the laugh:)

November 21, 2010 at 7:21 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

ooooohhh- so that's what that mama down the hill is called!!! Thanx! I totally love the mommyologist...and now can't wait to follow you too! Yeah- you're too much fun. Anytime you can, stop by my "Mom-dom"!


November 22, 2010 at 9:38 PM  
Anonymous nmaha said...

I love the mommyologist. I know loads of motherbitches and a few grandmotherbitches too. Tell me if you want a post on that.

December 3, 2010 at 6:51 AM  

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