How My Mom Got Me in Trouble in Kindergarten

With my oldest now in Kindergarten, he was asking me questions about when I was in Kindergarten.  There are a few memories that stand out: being the only one in my class who couldn't whistle(I still can't) and thinking I was going to be held back for it, the boy I had a crush on, my fabulous pink shoes, and then this memory....


When my brothers and I were young, we weren't allowed to have sugar. None. My mom wouldn't even allow for the pretty pink candies on top of my birthday cake when I SO wanted a Strawberry Shortcake Cake and begged and pleaded and promised that I wouldn't actually eat the candies, I just wanted to have a pretty cake. Instead, she made the icing pink with beet juice, put real strawberries on it, and put a paper cut-out of Strawberry Shortcake on top.  So not the same thing. I'm still bitter.


No breaking the no-sugar rule, not even for birthdays.


Mom used to tell us that she only gave us healthy things because she loved us. And sometimes she told us things that weren't true to get us to eat healthy.


Along comes kindergarten. Aside from the crooked bangs....wasn't I a cute little thing? Yes, my hair just spontaneously turned blond all by itself about ten years ago. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

We had half-day kindergarten and always had a snack each day. When our teacher would take roll call, we had to respond with what kind of milk we wanted for snack time. I looked around in horror at my classmates because I was the only one who responded that I wanted white milk. Everyone else said chocolate.


I felt like it was my duty to inform my little classmates about what exactly they were drinking because that was soooooooo gross.


The next morning, when our teacher called roll, not a single child requested chocolate milk.


Knowing something was up, the teacher went on a mission to find out exactly what had happened.


And ended up calling my mom because I was in T-R-O-U-B-L-E.


I had told everyone in the class what I thought to be the truth- because it's what my mom had told me- that the reason that their milk was brown was because a cow had POOPED in it. Groooooooooossssssss!