< Things I Can't Say: A Birth Story (Not Graphic, I Promise)

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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

A Birth Story (Not Graphic, I Promise)

Wednesday, December 8th, 2004:
I am ginormously pregnant with my first baby. Have to make it through this week, plus two days of teaching next week and one teacher workday before it is Christmas break. Baby is due on the 20th, but doctor keeps saying that I could have a Christmas baby or asking if I want to induce on the 31st if the baby isn't here yet.

Uncomfortable. Only a few of my maternity clothes still fit. Wearing slippers at school and glaring at anyone who would dare to suggest that I can't.

End of grading period standardized testing going on. Pissed that my assistant got taken away to help in another classroom with testing. This means I must go almost 5 hours without being able to go to the bathroom. Worried that pissed might be more than just an expression.

Standardized testing ends after 2 hours. Assistant Principal walks in right then. I think he's there to collect my testing material, but he is there to observe me teaching. I glare and tell him my students just got done with two hours of testing- I was just going to give them a break. He tells me this is fine, but I know it's not. So, I subject my poor fifth graders to a math lesson.

Meet with AP after school to go over my evaluation. Start off the meeting by informing him, "I have NEVER received any comments in 'areas of improvement' and if you wrote anything in that box, I will be writing a rebuttal and filing it with the county office." Smart man has nothing but kind words to say about my teaching.

Thursday, December 9th, 2004:
Go into work and decide that this is all a bunch of crap and that tomorrow will be my last day. I'm too uncomfortable and tired to be working. Besides, we had just moved that weekend- it would be nice to be able to get unpacked before the baby comes.

Inform Principal of this decision. She's not happy that she will have to find a sub for the two days before Christmas break. Tells me I must have a doctor's note. Completely irritated because this is not true. I have the leave days, I can take them if I want.

Go to the doctor's office and tell them I need a note stating that I'm about due and that I will not be working any more. Receptionist rolls her eyes at the situation, but helps me out.

Friday, December 10th, 2004
Triumphantly plunk that note onto the Principal's desk. Stay after school until 5pm to get everything ready for next week.

Jump(literally jump) around Sam's Club as Hubs and I browse and I say I'm tired of being pregnant. Go to a late dinner. Then to the 10pm showing of Ocean's Twelve. Fall fast asleep and don't see more than the first 10 minutes of the movie.

Then home to bed. Practically cry because Hubs bought us a new bed and it's too high for my pregnant self to easily get in or out of. Fall asleep quickly.

Saturday December 11th, 2004
Wake up at three am, feeling ill. Won't describe it, but let's just say I was in the bathroom and it wasn't pretty. Can't get comfortable. Drag a chair into the bathroom. Having contractions, but never anything regular.

7am: decide that this hurts and I don't care that the contractions aren't regular, it hurts so bad that I need to go to the hospital NOW. Wake Hubs. He thinks he needs to shower first. We try to get things ready for the hospital. No clue why this all takes so damn long or why we thought we needed to do any of it. Only live about 10 minutes from the hospital, less than that at this time of day.

I am making these primitive, instinctive grunting noises. In so much pain. Notice that Hubs is going the back way to the hospital. I dig my nails into his arm and tell him he can't go that way. There are speedbumps that way and this baby will come out if we go over the speedbumps. Scare Hubs. Even more than he already is.

8:20: Being pushed in a wheelchair to a delivery room. Still not officially registered at the hospital and will not be until after my baby is born. Nurse telling me to stop making those noises, stop pushing. I beg for drugs.

Am checked. Fully dilated. Too late for anything to help with the pain. But, they do give me pitocin to make the contractions regular.

9am: Doctor arrives, breaks my water. Tells me to push.

9:11am: My oldest son is born. He is the most perfect thing I've ever laid eyes on.

My world is changed forever.

Labels: ,


Blogger Tractor Mom said...

Happy Birthday to your little monkey! They do change your life...

If you haven't read my "birth" story of my second, check it out! Not as dramatic as yours though!


December 7, 2010 at 7:13 AM  
Blogger Tractor Mom said...

Happy Birthday to your little monkey! They do change your life...

If you haven't read my "birth" story of my second, check it out! Not as dramatic as yours though!


December 7, 2010 at 7:13 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

A change I am sure you can never imagine being without.

Just have to ask, was the timing planned???

December 7, 2010 at 7:19 AM  
Blogger Ann On and On... said...

Each words carries so much expression. I love to hear a mothers voice during this time...

Happy Birthday to your little man.

December 7, 2010 at 7:22 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

Goosebumps! I love reading birth stories. I hope he has a great birthday weekend!

December 7, 2010 at 7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great story! And the exact opposite of mine at every turn. lol It's amazing that babies even get here, isn't it? Thanks for sharing!

December 7, 2010 at 7:58 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Happy Birthday little guy! I loved the part about not going over speed bumps. And the slippers. I'm sure you were adorable even in those.

December 7, 2010 at 8:02 AM  
Blogger Kitty Moore said...

He is adorable!

December 7, 2010 at 8:11 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Beautiful story and had to laugh at the principal bit, my husband is a principal and every other day someone else is pregnant. We have been pregnant just about as often so I think he is way more understanding than he used to be!

December 7, 2010 at 8:14 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I am loving getting to know you over these past several posts. I especially love hearing birth stories since I never really got to have one - both of mine were scheduled C-Sections since those brats wouldn't come out on their own. I've never been in labor and I live vicariously through awesome women who have done it. Thanks for sharing!

December 7, 2010 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger Jene said...

Good story, though I'm jealous of your quick quick timing :)

The car ride to the hospital was the worst thing EVER. I thought I was going to die.

December 7, 2010 at 8:23 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

I'm a sucker for birth stories!!

Yay for 1st babies! My first baby was actually due today in 1999, but arrived 10 days early.

Cracking up at the jumping around the store!

Happy almost birthday to your 1st born!

December 7, 2010 at 8:49 AM  
Blogger Di said...

Oh my word! That's quite a birth story. I'm hoping mine isn't quite as exciting!

I did make the decision today though that I am only wearing sneakers and tennis shoes to work for the rest of my pregnancy - dress code be damned - I'm not trying to squeeze these feet into regular shoes. I hadn't considered slippers though. Those fuzzy "boot" slippers might just work around here...

December 7, 2010 at 8:49 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

Been there. Except mine didn't come out that quick. He was already stubborn before he ever got out of the womb...26 hours of labor and a
c-section later his little cone headed self appeared.

Happy Birthday to your little man!:)

December 7, 2010 at 9:06 AM  
Blogger Joey Lynn Resciniti said...

I quit my job almost a full month before Julia was born. Of course I HATED my job. I'm amazed by women that can work right up to the end.

December 7, 2010 at 9:42 AM  
Blogger Stasha said...

When I was preggy, I worked up til the DR told me I needed to be admitted to the hospital and possibly induced... Kaylee was born 2 days later (3 weeks early!)

December 7, 2010 at 9:57 AM  
Blogger Ashley said...

I'm laughing about the attitude at work. I was past due in mid-June in Florida with my first. I had such tremendous swelling that my poor feet wouldn't fit into anything besides frowned-upon flipflops. They looked like the feet and ankles of a sumo wrestler. I typically avoid confrontation at all costs, but back then I would just DARE anyone to look at me wrong. hahaha

December 7, 2010 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger Kir said...

wow, happy birthday to your little guy!!! (Or little man now) What a cutie he was..changed forever indeed.

I loved this, I plan to write their birth story every Jan 8th on my blog, the way I remember that year (I make my mom tell me the story of how I was conceived and the day I was born on my birthday every single year...and I'm looking at 41 LOL)

I loved this...and I'm so glad that he got here safe and sound. :)

December 7, 2010 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

He is perfect. Happy Birthday (soon) to him...and good work to you.

Teaching and expecting is so FUN!! I know better than to even talk to about due teachers now.

December 7, 2010 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

He is so adorable! Happy early birthday to him! That is a nice quick labor. I briefly wrote about peanut's birth story a while ago but nothing in too great detail. Let's just say that mine was not as quick as yours was. I was forced to quit my job because they were making my life a living hell so I wasn't working the second half of my pregnancy. I wish I did work then though because we were broke!

December 7, 2010 at 10:22 AM  
Blogger Just Jen said...

I love reading birth stories! I'm glad that everything went smooth with your oldest! Can't wait to read another birth story from you!! I think I'll have to write mine soon.

December 7, 2010 at 10:33 AM  
Blogger natalee said...

Awwwww.......... he was sooo worth it.. right... i love these stories!!!

December 7, 2010 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Holy crap you went fast! Were your other two that fast? What a sweet picture of him!

Thanks for sharing the story. I love reading birth stories.

December 7, 2010 at 10:53 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet boy! This post really brings back some major delivery memories for me. Six years goes too fast!

December 7, 2010 at 11:03 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

WHAT?! Birth isn't all graceful and done with good looks? Oh hell! What am I in for?!


December 7, 2010 at 11:04 AM  
Blogger bohomamasoul said...

I think your birth story might be one of my favorite of all time. You've written in a way that a pregnant woman would be explaining it! And I am pregnant right now, and everything you wrote is exactly how I feel. Except I'm almost overdue and I have a feeling I'm not even close. I go in today to see if I've progressed at all since last week. By the way? I'd give my right kidney if I could have your birth story be mine as well. You're an awesome writer, my dear!

December 7, 2010 at 11:23 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

Happy Birthday to your little guy! I can't believe how fast your delivered...they always say the first one takes the longest...did your other boys come that quickly?

December 7, 2010 at 11:30 AM  
Blogger Liz Mays said...

Um....11 minutes? No way!!!!

December 7, 2010 at 11:46 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

Wow! I thought my daughter was born fast. My husband thought to take the back way that was riddled with pot holes. They just don't get it sometimes!

Happy early birthday to your little man!

December 7, 2010 at 12:00 PM  
Blogger Go Mommy said...

Happy birthday to your little guy!
It is a good thing you got to the hospital when you did or he would ahve been born in the car!

December 7, 2010 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger Cheryl D. said...

Seriously? That's how you had your first baby? That seems way too easy!

December 7, 2010 at 12:24 PM  
Blogger Bibi @ Bibi's Culinary Journey said...

Wow, that was a close one....happy it worked out.

Great birth story....Happy Birthday to you oldest baby!

December 7, 2010 at 12:31 PM  
Blogger Myn @ fresh graNOLA family said...

Awwww. Thanks for sharing. Happy birthday to your little man. :)

December 7, 2010 at 12:32 PM  
Blogger TheBabyMammaChronicles said...

Haha, oh so sweet! Sounds like an intense labor. Looks like he was worth it. But the first one's the hardest right? :)

December 7, 2010 at 1:03 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Wow that was really quick! I can't believe the principal made you get a note!

December 7, 2010 at 1:04 PM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

Happy early birthday to him!

December 7, 2010 at 1:04 PM  
Anonymous Craig said...


Everyone above me called this a “birth story” – as if they’ve read millions. This is the first I’ve ever read. A man can only guess at this – but now I understand a little better. It makes me wonder what a “birth story” Gospel according to Mary would sound like.

"Smart man has nothing but kind words to say about my teaching.” (he he)

And did I say I understood a little better? No, I don’t understand at all. I’ll never know. But I am now in awe of any women who bears babies!

And December 11th is my mom’s birthday. She’s isn’t on this earth anymore. But she still, and always will, get a candle, in the kitchen, on her day.

Thank you

December 7, 2010 at 1:21 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

This probably wasn't one bit funny when you experienced it, but your retelling of it is great. Hysterical. Possibly because we ALL know that attitude. Glaring at anyone who dares to even sigh too heavily in our 9-month-pregnant presence. :)

December 7, 2010 at 1:45 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Wow, what a great story. :)

December 7, 2010 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Oh my, Shell! What a cutie!! I love reading birth stories and probably should get on writing Aliyah's birth story soon.

December 7, 2010 at 2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look what a cute lil baby he was!! 6 yrs has gone way too fast, huh?

December 7, 2010 at 2:36 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

He is one year and 3 days older than Kate!

Every once in a while I hear a story about a mom who got to the hospital and had no idea she was pretty much done with the dilation process!

December 7, 2010 at 2:51 PM  
Blogger Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? said...

Wow...so fast!

And, I hear you on the work thing. I had to take sick days because they wouldn't let me take leave, either. Poo on them. I guess they were lucky I went into labor at home at night and my water didn't break at work.

December 7, 2010 at 3:15 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I love this! I love birth stories. I had been working on mine to publish on my oldest's birthday (umm.. November 27th..oops) so I'm thinking I will have to wait until February now and then share my daughter's. Both times I knew I was in labor? Because I was a raging witch. I get very very angry & irritated. Then, we know it's time!

Happy (early) birthday to your little man!!

December 7, 2010 at 4:08 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

Good thing you got that note =)

December 7, 2010 at 4:47 PM  
Anonymous Kimberly said...

This post completely captures the mind of a very pregnant woman. Love the driving part. My husband had to stop at the bank to get money to pay for a circ in case it was a boy. I was going to kill him.

December 7, 2010 at 5:05 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Of course the AP would come in after testing. My kids wouldn't have been able to handle that either!! Kudos for what you said to the guy!

December 7, 2010 at 5:18 PM  
Blogger Venassa said...

Aww happy almost birthday to monkey!

December 7, 2010 at 5:30 PM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Happy Birthday to your little man! I often wonder if I will ever tire of telling my birth stories... the kids are 8 and 6 and I haven't yet!

December 7, 2010 at 5:31 PM  
Blogger Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

I love the way this was written. Happy early birthday to your boy!

December 7, 2010 at 6:21 PM  
Blogger AiringMyLaundry said...

What a sweet story.

I hope he has a wonderful birthday.

December 7, 2010 at 7:10 PM  
Blogger Grand Pooba said...

Oh man, I can't wait until my first birth story.

Yep, I just totally made that all about me! That just happened!

December 7, 2010 at 7:49 PM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Happy birthday to your little one. Great story. Short labors are nice, except when there's no drugs. My daughter's birthday is tomorrow. Hmmm...

December 7, 2010 at 8:09 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Love the story!
Happy birthday to the BIG boy!!

December 7, 2010 at 9:06 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Woo Hoo You are a champion. Umm and the nurse who told you to stop making those noises? I would have told her a few things...")

December 7, 2010 at 10:06 PM  
Blogger HeartBabyHome said...

Missed you, Shell. What a cutie :) Hope he had a happy birthday!

December 7, 2010 at 11:09 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Love reading birth stories! Thanks for sharing this one.

December 7, 2010 at 11:38 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Now that's the way it's done! None of this being in labour for 34 hours! I hate those stories. This is more like it. You labour, doc breaks the water, baby slides out. TaDa! Nothing to it!

December 8, 2010 at 12:46 AM  
Blogger Helene said...

Awwwww, this was wonderful to read!!!! Isn't it amazing that even though years have gone by, you still remember every single detail about the birth story??!!

Happy birthday to your first-born baby!!!!

December 8, 2010 at 1:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! He was born after 11 minutes? Thats pretty quick! Good thing your water didnt break in the car. lol

It took me an hour to push out my oldest son.. Ugh. Longest hour EVER.

December 8, 2010 at 1:51 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

You took off from work just in time! That was a fast labor! Lucky! (And the day after my bday!)

December 8, 2010 at 7:16 AM  
Blogger Katie Hurley, LCSW said...

I love your story. I'm tearing up thinking of holding mine for the first time. It really goes so fast.

My husband stopped at Starbucks on the way to my scheduled C-Section for my second...when they got me prepped and on the table I was in LABOR! But he had his coffee, and that's important too...!


p.s. Why can't I respond to comments on my site? What am I doing wrong?


December 8, 2010 at 3:31 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I love reading birth stories! Especially ones that don't end like mine, with multiple days of labor and emergency surgeries!

I remember being prego and teaching - that is my own personal version of hell.

December 8, 2010 at 5:44 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

I was totally prepared for something more explicit. I know you said it wasn't going to be graphic but I love an overshare.

Also, Oceans 12 sucked so don't worry about it. I, too, saw it in the theaters and it gave me a migraine.

December 8, 2010 at 9:07 PM  
Blogger Helena said...

Oh my, Shell, this is an amazing story. I love the way you wrote it.

December 9, 2010 at 2:14 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

Not graphic (THANK YOU) but still somewhat terrifying for the childless....

December 9, 2010 at 10:11 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Happy BDay! He was adorable from day one obviously!

December 10, 2010 at 6:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

It takes nothing more than a birth story to bring tears to my eyes.

I can't believe your director chose you being 9 months pregnant to review you!)

December 10, 2010 at 8:42 AM  
Blogger The No Wonder Mom said...

This sounds so much like the way it went for me with my Angel Pie!! Got to the hospital in time to push him out (too late for any drugs). But they MADE me sign in so I signed with an x, just to get to the delivery room. Had him 18 minutes after arriving at the hospital. Your story is great!

December 13, 2010 at 12:36 PM  

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