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Friday, July 9, 2010

BFF: Even Better Than a Kid-free Vacation

I hope that you have been enjoying Blog Friend Feature and are finding some new blogs to love. I have the next two weeks of BFF set up and will be emailing some of you soon to set up for the end of the month/beginning of August.

This week's BFF is a blogger that I feel like I've known for a while. And in the blog world, it probably has been a long time. Kmama at The Daily Dribbles is the creator of Thank You Very Much Thursdays: free therapy for all! She's a fellow mom of boys-only. She has a great sarcastic sense of humor...but is also a good friend that you can count on. She recently went on a vacation- without kids! I was soooooo jealous! But, after reading this post of hers, I'm thinking about it a little differently...

This past week, the hubs (Jdaddy) and I got to spend some time alone. And by "some", I mean an entire week, alone, in San Diego. It was fun, relaxing, and utterly amazing.

We relaxed in the hot tub together, watched TV that did not include Nickelodeon, drank, ate fabulous meals, took walks hand in hand, and really just enjoyed each other. With the hustle and bustle of normal life, sometimes you forget why you fell in love with that person; Why you chose to spend the rest of your life with that person. And spending time alone, without the daily distractions, really gives you the opportunity to remember why.

When we returned home, we both had wonderful things to say about San Diego and our trip as a whole. I enjoyed listening to Jdaddy tell others about going into restaurants and not having to worry about a kid's menu and wondering if they served chicken fingers, because that's all that Buddy will really eat when we go out. It amused me because I knew how much he missed our boys and was ready to go home and see them.
We both were ready to see them. We joked that we missed them terribly, but worried that they were going to make us pay for leaving them for so long. So while we wanted to see them, we weren't especially anxious to get home. *For the record, they were so excited to see us that they decided to not make us pay! Yay for us!

While our trip was magical and I enjoyed every single minute we were there, I kept thinking about how much fun the boys would have had in the pool, how we would have gone to the zoo had they been there, and how excited they would have been to see ocean and walk on the beach. To me, that is so telling. We are a family. And as much fun as I can have without my entire family, I realize just how much more fun I can have with my entire family.

Jdaddy and I have a Sandals trip to the Bahamas booked for November, 2011, in celebration of our anniversary. I just told him the other day that I think we should cancel it, or at least postpone it for now. Why would I do that? Because I want to take my boys on a family trip where we can make those special memories together. They'll only be little for such a short period of time.

What's better than spending time with the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with? Spending time with the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with and the little people the two of you created with love.

How sweet is that? Please leave Kmama some comment love here and then go follow her blog if you don't already!

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Blogger Corine (@ComplicatedMama) said...

aww too cute! Maybe you can change your plans for Sandals to Beaches! I've always wanted to take my fam there!!

July 9, 2010 at 7:12 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

I saw the pics from her trip on her blog...that hotel was so awesome!! Love Kmama!

July 9, 2010 at 7:17 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Awww, that is a great post. It is so true how it feels when you're away from your children.

July 9, 2010 at 7:22 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Great post! Sweet story! I have to spend two weeks every year without my kids and then have family members that try to take them for more in the name of helping and get offended when I waffle... it's not always helping when you want to take my kids away for a week when I don't HAVE to let them go...a weekend - yes, a week- no! I appreciate that they want to give my kids experiences, but maybe I want to be a part of the as well???

July 9, 2010 at 7:24 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Thank you!! I thought I was the only mom who felt that way. Like maybe something was wrong with me. I went on a girls weekend with my mom, sister, and 1 year old daughter. I had a fun time but really missed my husband and son. When I got home I said "No more separate vacations!"

Congrats on loving your family! Seems to be a quality that is diminishing these days.

July 9, 2010 at 7:32 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

No one wants to take four kids on for a few days, and I don't have enough resources to split them up. Therefore Hubby and I don't do much without the kids.

I remind myself that we will be able to do those things when the kids are older.

July 9, 2010 at 7:48 AM  
Blogger Katie's Dailies said...

This struck me as funny because when my husband and I spent a few days at the SAME hotel that Kmama and her husband did, that's all we talked about: our kids and how much they'd love seeing the beach or the seals up at La Jolla... you can get away from the kids, but not ever completely!

July 9, 2010 at 7:54 AM  
Blogger Ian said...

Can't agree more. Not saying there's anything wrong with going away together, but we've never done nor will we ever. Way we see it, our son would have just as much fun and we made the decision to have a child, so therefore where we go - he goes.

Might have alot to do with the fact that my parents (mother and stepfather) did the same thing when I was a kid. They never went anywhere without me. My father is a different story. He'd go to places like Disney and other fun places with his (my half sister) kid, his wife without me. Kind of turned me off on the whole idea just to qualify my comments.

That being said we have our eye on an Atlantis vacation just the two of us :)

But of course we'll still take him to the beach for a long weekend the year we actually do that trip.

Damn money tree - GROW GROW GROW!!!

July 9, 2010 at 7:59 AM  
Blogger tessica said...

ahhhh i totally understand what Kmama is saying! i have been planning a solo trip for about six months now and keep shortening it out of missing my little one (and i'm not even gone!)

July 9, 2010 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

My husband and I have gone on a few short trips, but nothing elaborate. I can imagine a longer trip being tricky and I can see myself thinking about all of the things Hayden would be doing...

July 9, 2010 at 8:40 AM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

So cute. I totally get that. It is nice to have a little time away from the kids but I miss them too.

July 9, 2010 at 8:41 AM  
Blogger Shirley said...

That's so sweet. Isn't it always the way though? I'm so excited school is starting here in about a week and a half, but I know that that Wednesday I'm going to feel so lonely before work.

July 9, 2010 at 8:46 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

I love kmama! And I love this post :) So sweet :)

July 9, 2010 at 9:12 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I love that and I completely 100% get it.

July 9, 2010 at 9:46 AM  
Blogger BNM said...

awww what a sweet post I teared up a little. My husband and I went to the beach without Bailey and the entire time i was there I missed him like crazy it just wasnt the same without him there

July 9, 2010 at 9:47 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...


Happy Friday girl. I stopped back in to tell you I gave you two awards on my blog! love ya!

July 9, 2010 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger Mom vs. the boys said...

oh, sweet as all heck! actually made me tear a little, I think I'm hormonal. at least I know I'm not preggers.
I would never turn down the Bahamas, but maybe a weekend getaway when I got might be nice with family

July 9, 2010 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

what a positive post.
I for one love the alone Mr. & Mrs. vacations, but we typically just do a long weekend. At the end of this month, the whole fam damily is going on a trip for a week. Gonna be nutty!!

July 9, 2010 at 11:02 AM  
Blogger Cielo Azul Jewelry said...

What a fun trip=0) Hot food and not having to worry about where all the kids are or how much noise they are making, LOL! Glad you had a great trip. Come back to San Diego soon.


July 9, 2010 at 11:28 AM  
Blogger cathyjoy said...

that is so sweet. but? i have always always always loved getting away with the hubs without the kids and doing grown-up things and NOT sharing a hotel room! i think it's good for the kiddos to see mom & dad making time just for themselves and it's good for them to have a relaxed mommy when she gets back from where ever she's been. much as i love them, my relationship with dad has to come first cause where would they be if our relationship sucked?

July 9, 2010 at 11:31 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

This is such a sweet post... Since we don't have kids, when we decided where to go on trips, stuff always gets vetoed (want to go to Disney, nah, let's wait and go as a family). I can't wait for the family trips ahead of us!! This was a great reminder of how short and precious that time will be....

July 9, 2010 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger dot said...

I don't like to do anything without my girls. They enrich the entire experience for me.Glad to hear I am not the only one who pines for their children when we are away.

July 9, 2010 at 11:56 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Ah, I'm so torn on this issue. Husband and I have a Sandals booked for January. Baby will be 14months old. I think, at this point, Husband and I really need a little trip all to ourselves. HOWEVER ... we can cancel up until December 1st, and I'm still not sure I'm leaving my child. It's a struggle!

We'll definitely be doing Beaches next time. Of course, Baby will be older then and probably more able to appreciate a vacation ...

July 9, 2010 at 12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I LOVE Kmama! Great choice girl!
I think every couple needs alone time together. I don't think it's a bad thing to do that every once in a while. Vacationing with the kids is also a joy. Both types are a must, I think. :)

July 9, 2010 at 12:26 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

What a great post! I will definitely be visiting and following this blogger. I completely relate to this, and have often felt the same way. By the end of our rare dinners out alone, I am anxious to get back to our kids. We really do enjoy being together as a family on vacations like that!

July 9, 2010 at 12:31 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

I loved that post! I know when we go out we always end up talking about the kids...and miss them when we leave them for a day or two.

Hi Shell!! Miss you! I will email you later...:) xoxo

July 9, 2010 at 12:56 PM  
Blogger shortmama said...

I couldnt agree more! I love some time with the hubs alone every once in a while...but I miss my girls!

July 9, 2010 at 1:24 PM  
Blogger becca said...

My husband and I ALWAYS go away the two of us on a trip each year. And I ALWAYS end up having the same thoughts as you. How much fun the kids would be having, how selfish I am for not taking them, how much they'd enjoy it all. And I always say that NEXT trip, I'll take them along. But then the next trip planning begins and I look at my husband and say, "you know, I could really use a BREAK!". I think it's so important to have time together as a couple. Regroup, Revisit, Remember each other. Maybe a night away as a couple and a few more days as a family? I don't know, it's a tough call!

July 9, 2010 at 1:53 PM  
Blogger becca said...

My husband and I ALWAYS go away the two of us on a trip each year. And I ALWAYS end up having the same thoughts as you. How much fun the kids would be having, how selfish I am for not taking them, how much they'd enjoy it all. And I always say that NEXT trip, I'll take them along. But then the next trip planning begins and I look at my husband and say, "you know, I could really use a BREAK!". I think it's so important to have time together as a couple. Regroup, Revisit, Remember each other. Maybe a night away as a couple and a few more days as a family? I don't know, it's a tough call!

July 9, 2010 at 1:53 PM  
Blogger Your mom said...

So timely to read this as DH and I are leaving in a few short hours for a couple of days of husband and wife time. I do think time away with my husband recharges our intimacy. That being said, we have a family vaca planned to Mexico in January and I'm **really** looking forward to that (even if they'll be less sex due to the shared room issue ...)

July 9, 2010 at 1:53 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That is so true! I am leaving tonight for just an overnight trip with the hubbs, but I am already missing the kids. That, in itself, is the beauty of family.

And, KMama - you totally made me cry. Thanks.

July 9, 2010 at 2:12 PM  
Blogger Sonora said...

It is amazing that once you become a parent you can never not be a parent. I love going out alone, but inevitably before very long I am thinking about and missing my kids. That being said, a week alone with my husband does sound fantastic. In a perfect world I would have two weeks back to back, one with my husband alone and one with the kids.

July 9, 2010 at 2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great post from Kmama. When we go out for some alone time, I miss the kids after a few hours.

July 9, 2010 at 2:37 PM  
Blogger Brandi said...

I'm so glad y'all had a great trip! DB and I have never been on an overnighter w/out the boys. We've been to a movie, out to dinner or bday or xmas shopping without them and we ALWAYS find ourselves saying 'Bubba would have liked that,' etc. ;)

July 9, 2010 at 2:41 PM  
Blogger Daisygirl said...

I have a problem with guilt when I leave my kids out of something...about to take my first solo vacation in 10 years. I am so excited to have some fun with friends and pretend to not be a mommy for a week...but in the back of my head and of course my heart I will be wondering about them and thinking of how much they would have fun with me on vacation!

I love what you said about "forgetting why you fell in love"....I think us adults need time alone to rediscover that ever now and then!

Off to your blog!

July 9, 2010 at 2:47 PM  
Blogger Joy@TPMG said...

I am going away with my husband for a few days soon. I can't wait but can already feel the anxiety of leaving the girls for a few days even though I know they will be in good hands.

July 9, 2010 at 3:17 PM  
Blogger Grand Pooba said...

I don't have kids but from just being an aunt, I'm gonna say SO TRUE :o)

July 9, 2010 at 3:29 PM  
Blogger Twincerely,Olga said...

what a great post!!If that doesn't say it all!!!:)

July 9, 2010 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger Ash said...

Love this. Friends give me a hard time because we never do the "date night" thing - we dated 6 years before marriage and waited 6 more before the kids - I love him with all my heart and soul, but enough already ;-)

Nothing more fun then a crazy family vacation.

July 9, 2010 at 3:48 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

I'm the same way! Can't wait to get away from the kids, but when I do, they are all I think about!

You can always switch from Sandals to Beaches and take them with you :)

July 9, 2010 at 3:49 PM  
Blogger Cheryl D. said...

I love Daily Dribbles and follow her blog too! It's great!

July 9, 2010 at 3:53 PM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

I am almost always thinking 'oh Babe would love this' or 'this would be perfect for Babe'.

Those last few lines were so sweet.

July 9, 2010 at 4:01 PM  
Blogger AiringMyLaundry said...

Aww, nice. When my husband get out alone I find myself missing the kids too.

Of course if we got an overnight trip I'd miss them but at the same time I'd be all, "freedom!"

July 9, 2010 at 4:30 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Aww this was so sweet! I love Kmama!!

July 9, 2010 at 6:44 PM  
Blogger Michelle @Flying Giggles said...

That is very sweet...heading over now!

July 9, 2010 at 7:26 PM  
Blogger Beth Zimmerman said...

That was beautiful! I already follow, and enjoy, KMama. She's an excellent choice for BFF!

July 9, 2010 at 7:44 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

That is so sweet! But don't cancel your trip yet; be at home with them for a month and then decide :)

July 9, 2010 at 8:14 PM  
Blogger Melinda said...

I'm so jealous! ;0) Actually, I'm very happy you and your hubby got to do that. I think it's so important. Mike and I went to a Major League Baseball game together the other night and realized that was the first "date" we'd had in quite some time. I know what you're thinking, "A sporting event -- how romantic!" Yeah, well, sometimes you take what you can get! Sometimes just being alone together (well, along with 30,000 other sports fans, but you know what I mean) is enough. ;0)

Let me know how your responsibility chart works out ... glad to know I'm not alone in my struggle to get help around the house!

Hoping to partipate in Pour Your Heart out next time ... been wanting to do that for a while now!

I'm beat tonight, but I'll check out your BFF tomorrow!

July 9, 2010 at 8:51 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

I live in San Diego and it is amazing! I am so glad that you got a week to relax! Life is so busy but making time for vacations is so important!

July 9, 2010 at 9:45 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

So sweet! I would be the same way!

July 10, 2010 at 1:13 AM  
Blogger HeatherOz said...

OH, Kmama! I feel the exact same way! DaddyO and I went to Hawaii, all by ourselves, a few years ago. Our first trip alone in 8 years. We had such a good time and fondly recall EVERY minute. But since we got back, we haven't even thought of planning a trip without our 4 kiddos! Great post lady!

July 10, 2010 at 2:02 AM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

I love this post! I can totally relate! Whenever hubs and I go somewhere we feel the same way. Thanks for this reminder b/c this morning I'm feeling like momzilla and I've already yelled at them for bickering with each other! They are only little for so long, and I just don;t want to waste it.

July 10, 2010 at 8:51 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Kmama is awesome & this post totally made me want to cry!

July 10, 2010 at 10:59 AM  
Blogger Mrs4444 said...

We are the same way; it feels wrong to spend money like that on just us, when for a little more, we can have a blast as a family, which won't happen much longer, what with Kyle going off to college.

Still, I think it's a little risky to wait til the kids are gone to celebrate the two of us, alone. I'm already feeling the empty feeling of having children leave the nest, so before my daughter is gone (she's a sophomore this year), I'll be making sure my husband and I do things that help us reconnect on other levels.

Shell, this was a great pic. Thanks for linking up!

July 10, 2010 at 12:13 PM  
Blogger Tree said...

Awww...so sweet! I love Kmama too! Great BFF!

Hey Shell...coming over from the Lady Bloggers Society Tea Party! You know I'm already following your lovely blog....just dropping in to say hi!

July 10, 2010 at 3:17 PM  
Blogger Debby said...

I love her work. Such beautiful pieces. I follow her as well. I will check out your site....looks like fun.

July 10, 2010 at 7:48 PM  
Blogger Patrice said...

I am so glad I am learning about all these fabulous bloggers through BFF!! Can't wait to check out her site!

July 11, 2010 at 2:47 PM  

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