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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out: Sixth Glass

If you need more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.

But, really, it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.

Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.

I totally stole the "#th Glass" thing from my good blog buddy, Chelle from The Winey Mommy. Why didn't I think of that? Love you, Chelle!

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)


Eleven years.

It's an odd number. Not big as far as anniversaries go. One that many people probably ignore.

But, I can't forget.

Yesterday marked the 11 year anniversary of the shootings at Columbine High School.

Did you remember? I saw a lot more mentions of it being 4/20- oooh, smoke it up, than I did of Columbine.  In fact, I didn't see any mention of it on any major homepage. You could do a search and find mention, but other than that, not much. Maybe that's how it should be- that we shouldn't dwell on something so tragic. But, I think what if one of those kids had been mine? What if the teacher who died had been me? I would still want people to think of it, even though it's been 11 years, not a milestone like last year's 10.

I laid in bed Monday night and thought about them. Thought about how eleven years from right then, those students went to sleep: maybe they were worried about a test the next day or maybe who they were going to ask to Prom.

Their parents might have been thinking about how to pay for college next year or about whether or not to ground one of their kids for breaking curfew by ten minutes.

Normal worries. Small worries.

Having no idea what the next day would bring.

What happened that day was a tragedy. The lives lost. Those injured. The feeling of safety gone.

But, mostly, I was thinking about the hope that was lost. The hope for a future for the kids who were murdered that day.

Eleven years...since that day, I graduated from college, got my first teaching job, moved far from home, fell in love, moved again, had my heart broken, moved again and again, fell in love again, worked to make a difference for the students that I taught, got married, and had three babies. The person that I am now doesn't have a whole lot in common with who I was eleven years ago. She's changed and grown up and found her place in the world.

My heart breaks for the kids who didn't have that chance. Who are forever stuck as teenagers in their families' memories.

And so I think back to the night before, to April 19th, 1999, that night when those families all went to bed, with only petty problems weighing on their minds. And I wish I could turn the clock back for them. And stop it.

And it reminds me that none of us ever knows what the next day brings.




Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, 11 years. I'll never forget hearing the news about it on the TV while my baby was sleeping in the next room. It makes you hold your little ones close, never wanting to let them go. So tragic. Wonderful post Shell. <3

April 21, 2010 at 12:07 AM  
Blogger Tylaine said...

Few posts make me cry but that one sure did. That was a beautiful post born of an extremely tragic event. It sure does touch a little closer to the heart when you are a parent. My heart goes out to all those parents and families.

April 21, 2010 at 12:22 AM  
Blogger Laurel said...

Well said.

I can't believe it's been 11 years. The perspective that you put on it--the idea of the people in bed the night before with their normal concerns and thoughts--really makes me think about how important it is to appreciate the time we have. I suppose you never know when it could just be over like that. I was also surprised that it wasn't referenced in more places. Maybe it's one of those things that people don't want to remember because of how much it scares them? I don't know...

April 21, 2010 at 12:27 AM  
Blogger Emily said...

I actually went to school with a girl from Columbine. Her family moved to Ohio after the shooting and she graduated in my class. She gave a speech on it in my Senior Speech class. She had everyone in tears. I could not imagine going through something like that. Great post.

April 21, 2010 at 12:39 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I remember exactly where I was when I heard this happened. I was in middle school and my grandma picked me up to take me to the dentist. As we pulled out of the school parking lot a breaking news came over the radio. I have to say it made me scared to go to school.

April 21, 2010 at 12:44 AM  
Blogger Bibi @ Bibi's Culinary Journey said...

I can't believe it's already 11 years. I still remember that day. My oldest was my only one and he was 2 years old. I kept thinking what if one morning he goes to school...
My heart still goes out to all of the families.

April 21, 2010 at 12:48 AM  
Blogger Bethany said...

Wow, great post, girl. I still remember it perfectly clear: when my mom picked me up from school that day she was listening to live updates on the radio, and I remember her explaining to me what had been happening.

April 21, 2010 at 1:00 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I literally had chills running up arms and legs as I read this. I really can't believe it's been 11 years. What a tragedy that day was. I was actually thinking the other day about people in my life who have died and what was going on in their worlds when that happened. Our lives go on, and it's sad, but it's what happens. The scariest thing in the world to me is that we never know what the day will bring. I don't know how we as humans don't dwell on this more, but when you stop to think about the fact that you could lose your child today, your loved one today, yourself today, a panic feeling enters. I am so sad for all of those lives that were loss that day. In 11 years I sure have gone through a lot, and have grown into a person that most definitely isn't the same person back then.... and you're right, it's so sad that those teens are stuck as teen in their parents' minds.

Thanks for writing about this. I'm sad to say that I honestly didn't even think about that, let alone that it's 4/20 today ~ and it's day we all should remember. I couldn't imagine if one of my children were there {of course my 1st didn't come for 2 years, but I couldn't fathom it}

Okay... sorry for the novel of a comment LOL ~ just really had me thinking.

April 21, 2010 at 1:23 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

I remember that day. I was in middle school. I worried going into high school that something like that would happen in our school. Thanks for the reminder, I had forgotten. What a thing that I never should forget. I love the song Cassie by Flyleaf. Check it out if you haven't heard it!

April 21, 2010 at 1:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At my high school this year we mourned five years for a shooting at ours. Strange how it never got big like the Columbine story did, but I guess these things happen too often nowadays for the significance to be there as much anymore.

Five years ago a boy at my school shot himself in the early AM on the front entrance steps. He was discovered when the first students began approaching the doors that day. He would have graduated the year before me. His girlfriend at the time was in a psych ward last I heard. It's a sad and terrible thing that ruined two really good people. :(

April 21, 2010 at 3:53 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Wow girl. You know that I remember when that happened and at the time didn't know if my cousins attended that school. I was already out of high school but worried for the people involved.
I always think about not putting myself and my kids in situations that would put us in danger. But you never know. It could be the simplest thing as going into Walmart one day and some one pulling a gun on everyone. We cannot control what happens around us and it makes you put life into perspective. I hold my babies tighter and you have to remember to cherish everyday because you have no idea what each day will bring.
Thank you for sharing.

April 21, 2010 at 5:55 AM  
Blogger Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

Very sad, I can't even imagine what that would be like.

April 21, 2010 at 6:11 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

I'll admit, I might not of remembered "11 years" or the exact date "April 20th". I can say that I remember the event often though. I think about this stuff more than people realize.

My memories are more though. I combine a lot of those events. Columbine and Virginia Tech (April 16th)to name few. My memories really start back during the summer between my high school freshman and sophomore years.

I was fortunate to get a really great English teacher my Freshman year. She was really committed to the children, and was often the only teacher who would take the "delinquents". I can't explain how I ended up in her class, but she quickly singled out two of us, and when she couldn't get us into another class, she kept us working in a different corner doing different work than the rest of the class.

Not how she did it, but she was really good at getting the so called "delinquents" to get interested in her class, and most of them faired well enough to get out of that classification the following school year.

Well that summer, she was teaching summer school at a different high school. She had a verbal confrontation with one of her students just before their 15 minute break. Said student did not return from break with the rest of the class. She continued teaching. He later walked in the back of the room, pulled out a hand gun and shot the teacher (Mrs. Young).

No he did not kill her (almost though). He just missed her heart. I had several chances to interact with Mrs, Young during my Junior and Senior year (she had taken the year off after shooting). Let me tell you, she was never the same. That student may not of taken her life, but he had changed her soul.

So, I may not memorialize everything on the their own dates, but I do put thought to them and often.

April 21, 2010 at 6:37 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I was in my 11th grade cooking class when we got word. They put my school on lockdown (even though we were in California) and we watched the horror over the TV. I still tear up when I think about it. Thank you for writing this though. We need to remember the lives that were lost that day.

April 21, 2010 at 6:48 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Thank you so much for posting this. It was always so sad to me too how these kids were just taken away from us. As a teacher, I have often thought about how I would handle the same situation and it changed the way I felt about my students...

Thanks again...

April 21, 2010 at 7:02 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

We lived near Columbine in Denver (many years after it happened) and I always got the chills when I would drive by the school. It's just awful. Things like that are why I'm so worried about bullying, etc.

April 21, 2010 at 7:17 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I can't believe it's already been 11 years. It seems like just yesterday that I heard the news...High school became a very scary place to be right then. I remember I even did my Freshman Honors project on school violence in college because this story (and the many others around the same time) really touched me.

April 21, 2010 at 7:28 AM  
Blogger Sugar Bear said...

This is exactly how I've been feeling lately...we are all just human..we are not invincible...and I would always want someone to remember me...even on the insignificant dates.

Great post.

April 21, 2010 at 7:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it does need to be remembered every year. There are so many tragic things that happen anymore that touch so many lives that should be remembered.

It is sad.

April 21, 2010 at 7:40 AM  
Blogger Life Without Pink said...

Thank you so much for reminding me...how sad that I forgot but you are right it was nowhere on the media. I can remember the exact moment I heard about this just like September 11th. What a sad day for all of those poor innocent children and teachers.

April 21, 2010 at 7:48 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Like most people commenting on this, I also remember what I was doing when I heard about it. I was in 8th grade.. but something that a lot of people don't remember is HOW MANY school shootings took place that year. People remember Columbine because it was huge, and so many people were killed, but everyone should also remember all the other people in all the other towns and schools that lived nightmares that year. When I heard about Columbine, I remember my first thought being, wow, another one? When are they going to end? It was a really bad year.

April 21, 2010 at 8:07 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

You are so right, Shell. It should've been in the media more. My heart still breaks for them, too. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully written.

I need to remind myself more often that every day is a gift. Every single day. You never know what the next will bring.

April 21, 2010 at 8:23 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I can only imagine that those parents are pictureing the ones they lost 11 years older- and you are right- no one knows what tomorrow will bring ;-)

April 21, 2010 at 8:31 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

It's scary ho life can change in an instant. I think I saw a teeny blurb about it yesterday, but there should have been more. Not only as a tribute to those who lost their lives, but as a reminder that awareness needs to be raised about violence in schools.

April 21, 2010 at 8:35 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I can't believe it has really been that long.

April 21, 2010 at 8:36 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

I'm ashamed to admit that I hadn't even thought about it until I saw your tweet yesterday. That day was such a terrible tragedy.

April 21, 2010 at 8:42 AM  
Blogger Di said...

This day is so hard for not only because of Columbine but it is also the birthday of an ex who passed away - talk about a double whammy, huh?

April 21, 2010 at 8:55 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

It's funny you said that about hearing more about 4/20 in reference to pot because I said the same thing to G last night. In fact, I think only you and I were ones I "know" to mention Columbine.

I was pregnant with my son (now 10 1/2) and I specifically remember stopping to watch the tv at work and said out loud, "What kind of world am I bringing this baby into?" I was so saddened by this event... for a lot of the same reasons as you.

Here I am 11 years later, pregnant with my daughter wondering the same question...

I'm glad you posted about this.


April 21, 2010 at 8:58 AM  
Blogger Stacey @ Chasing Cloud 9 said...

Hard to believe it's been 11 years. I remember coming home from one of my college classes, and just standing in my parents living room watching the TV that day...

April 21, 2010 at 9:13 AM  
Blogger Foursons said...

Very well said Shell. You honored all the lives affected by this trajedy beautifully.

April 21, 2010 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

I completely agree. I was pretty disgusted at a lot of what I read on FB yesterday. Hardly anyone mentioned it, it was all about smoking it up. Ugh.

April 21, 2010 at 9:29 AM  
Blogger Kim Dettmer said...

"And it reminds me that none of us ever knows what the next day brings."

Well said...and thanks for the reminder.

April 21, 2010 at 9:31 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

How easily we as a country forget so many huge events. But we choose to remember the day pot was supposedly disovered..sad really because we forget the abuse and danger continues. Because we don't remind and keep it in th face of everyone life seeming ly goes on and so does the violence..

April 21, 2010 at 9:37 AM  
Blogger Samantha said...

11 years ago, I was 11 years old..and I still remember this. I remember it scaring me, because I was in school and I knew that it could just as well happen to my school as it did Columbine. Still sad for the families of the victims, and of the shooters.

April 21, 2010 at 9:43 AM  
Blogger Danielle said...

11 years? Wow. I remember being in school and hearing about this. So sad.

April 21, 2010 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger Beth Zimmerman said...

Such a sad day! Excellent post Shell!

April 21, 2010 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I remember that day well. I had my first teaching job. It was so scary and sad.

April 21, 2010 at 10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This brought tears to my eyes. My heart still breaks for those parents.

April 21, 2010 at 10:07 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

That day was horribly tragic, and you're right... we tend to only remember things on a "big" anniversaries. But those parents rememeber it every.single.day.

Great (sad) post....

April 21, 2010 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Wow I didnt even realize that it was the anniversary. Thanks for pointing that out and for sharing your thoughts!

April 21, 2010 at 10:34 AM  
Blogger Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Wonderfully said. As teachers, we see it from another perspective as well. It is a harsh reminder when we have to have 6 lockdown drills a year.

April 21, 2010 at 10:45 AM  
Blogger VandyJ said...

I remember when that happened. I was working for a chiropractor whose wife had worked as a guidence counselor at Columbine years before and this hit her hard. You're right, you never know what the day will bring.

April 21, 2010 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger Kearsie said...

It is a bit sad to me that the human nature is to forget the tragedy that happens around us day to day. To forget those who were harmed permanently by evil, like at Columbine.

April 21, 2010 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

That is so sad... that people would put and think about WEED for lives that were lost!

April 21, 2010 at 12:54 PM  
Blogger Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? said...

You are right. I didn't see a single mention of it (nor did I remember it). And, that was my senior year of high school, and we had so many bomb scares after that and evacuations from school. Looking back, I should have been more worried and scared.

And, if I remember correctly, it is also the anniversary of the shootings at Virgina Tech, too, which also impacted a lot of peoples lives.

Thank you for the reminder that we never know what is going to happen next.

April 21, 2010 at 1:03 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I think it's really nice of you to post this. You're right. When it's not a milestone anniversary, these things tend to go unnoticed or unmentioned. Bur, for those directly affected, every day is an anniversary, a memory, a reason to remember.

April 21, 2010 at 1:47 PM  
Blogger Daisygirl said...

Voted for the cute babe!

I still remember that day! I was thinking about becoming a teacher actually and it was this event and another one that followed shortly after that changed my mind completely!
Thanks for posting this I think it is something that should not be forgotten!

April 21, 2010 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger Sonora said...

Wow, this was a powerful post for me. In high school, my choir would tour other high schools in surrounding states and sing there. One of those schools that we visited was Columbine. I graduated from high school the year before this happened, but I just kept thinking, we could have been there.
I think it is good to move on from events like these, but that doesn't mean to forget them. It is so true that you never know what the next day will bring. I think that is why I love the Tim McGraw song Live like you are dying. Thank you for the reminder.

April 21, 2010 at 3:05 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

My heart still hurts for those families. I remember where I was too.

April 21, 2010 at 3:14 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Your post is a sad, cruel, and well-said truth. Thank you for reminding us to not only remember, but to be grateful for every breath.

April 21, 2010 at 4:06 PM  
Blogger Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom said...

Really powerful post, Shell. I read a Newsweek (I think it was Newsweek, I could be wrong) interview with Dylan Klebold's mother about two months ago. She made no excuses, and is obviously still racked with guilt. Seems to me like there are still a lot of open wounds, even 11 years after the tragedy.


April 21, 2010 at 4:07 PM  
Blogger TheFitHousewife said...

What a touching post. I can't believe it has been 11 years. The picture of that school on the news is still fresh in my memory. It was a tragedy and my heart goes out to the families involved.

April 21, 2010 at 4:09 PM  
Blogger Helene said...

I can't believe it's been 11 years. I remember exactly where I was the moment I heard about it. It's so sad to think of all the precious lives that were lost that day.

Thank you for this post!

April 21, 2010 at 4:22 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I seen a lot about 4-20 yesterday...only one thing about the shootings. I don't think I even seen anything on tv about it. Sad.
I think about this school every time they mention kids bringing guns to school.
Our world is so scary now days.

April 21, 2010 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Micek said...

It sends chills down my spine just thinking of that horrific day for everyone involved... My heart breaks for the poor families that suffered so much on that day.
It's good to remember something like that, it's good to live each day as though it was your last... because we don't know when that last day will be.
Thanks for the beautiful reminder today!

April 21, 2010 at 4:34 PM  
Blogger Just A Normal Mom said...

Thanks for that post - makes me want to grab my son and hug him and not let go. Definitely makes me thankful for what I have. And remember those that don't.

April 21, 2010 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger ♥ Brittany Ciara ♥ said...

A friend of mine and I talked about this a while back. About how 4/20 was a holiday for kids at my school to go "smoke it up" on the street right across the school while families were remembering the loved ones they lost on 4/20/1999. It made me stop and think about my life ending right now, and how the world who knew me would remember me. Would I have a story like Rachel Scott's? Probably not, but I wanted to leave my mark on this earth. It's so sad to see so many of my fellow classmates throw their lives away when they don't know what tomorrow brings. All I can do is pray for them. Thank you, Shell, for sharing.

April 21, 2010 at 5:57 PM  
Blogger L said...

wow 11 years. i remember that day i was so scared to go to school. so tragic for everyone involved. great post. i finally linked up loL!

April 21, 2010 at 7:39 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I remember that day...how sad, scary, frightening it was. The tears. Not even being able to imagine how scared those kids, students, teachers were.

Amazing post. Thank you for keeping those that lost their lives memory alive. You are an amazing women!

ps-no problem about the # glass :) I heart that you heart that, too :)

April 21, 2010 at 10:02 PM  
Blogger T.J. said...

I thought it strange too that 4/20 got so much more "press". What an anniversary to remember with Columbine- it shook me to the core when I first heard the news and it still does now when I hear about it, 11 years later.

April 21, 2010 at 10:15 PM  
Blogger Christy said...

Hey hon...I left something on my blog for you...if you want it :-)

April 21, 2010 at 10:23 PM  
Blogger Elena Sonnino said...

beautifully written. xoxo

April 21, 2010 at 10:47 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

I had never thought about that night before. As a parent, I can't think about losing a child, let alone at school. You think about teenagers and late nights, parties, drinking and driving, not in math class. So tragic! Thanks for the reminder.

April 21, 2010 at 11:16 PM  
Blogger Triplets+3=Crazy said...

Thank You Shell!

I was pretty mad about all the 4/20 crap and NOTHING about Columbine.

My BIL was a senior at Columbine that day. He was one of that last kids out. It is just indescribable the things we went through.


April 21, 2010 at 11:41 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

be on the look out on my blog, I left you something!

April 21, 2010 at 11:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, you are right. I didnt hear anything about Columbine. I didnt think about it either. It should have gotten more attention!

April 22, 2010 at 2:52 AM  
Blogger Tabatha said...

I know what you mean. That was my senior year and I will not forget it. And on top of that we have had a major issue at the school I've been at this year just last week, that has carried on into this week. It could have been just like Columbine, but luckily things got found out. It is so scary at times, for our children, and teachers etc.. all cuz usually Other kids are being bullies.. its where it seems to always stem from. I am so tired of kids being picked on etc... but I do know Columbine will never be forgotten.

April 22, 2010 at 9:35 AM  
Blogger Sarahviz said...

My 11th wedding anniversary is April 24th, so on the day of Columbine, I remember coming home from the gym that morning and being RIVETED to the TV that entire day. So very sad. I will never forget.

April 22, 2010 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger BNM said...

wow you know what I didnt even remember this, granted I was only 11 years old when it happened! But now that I am a mom I cant help but think the way you do.. what if! Im half way scared to death to become a teacher and/or put my kid in school.. the world is a scary place!

April 22, 2010 at 9:20 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

So true. I don't recognize the me from 12 years ago. It's such a tragedy that those kids didn't get the chance. So sad.

April 20, 2011 at 9:53 AM  

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