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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out: Fourth Glass

If you need more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.

But, really, it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.

Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)



This is an old memory. Something that happened almost ten years ago. But, a walk on the beach the other night brought it back and then digging into one of my old journals confirmed the details, which I remembered with surprising accuracy.

It was a Wednesday in August when I ended my engagement to X. Our relationship had been over for a while, but we were both stubbornly holding onto the idea that maybe we could work things out and neither of us would officially call things off.

But, I decided to because it just hurt so damn much.

Ending felt worse. And yet, I still went to work the next day, trying to pretend like nothing had happened. I somehow got through the school day and got all my students to their buses at 2:10.

Then, I went to my truck, grabbed my beach bag, threw on my bikini, and drove to the most secluded beach in the area.

I sat on my blanket, staring out at the ocean, alternately crying and feeling strong. The waves crashing and soothing my broken heart. The vastness of the ocean making me realize how small I was in the grand scheme of things and how small my problems were. And then, alternately, I would feel alone and hurt.

Even though it was the quietest beach in the area, there were still some people around. Mostly young Marines who would try to come flirt with me. I was my hottest self back then, long blonde hair, perfect figure, tiny bikini. Yeah, I hate me, too.

I shot each one down with a comment ruder than the one I'd used on the last guy.

Until he came along. He had the palest blue eyes I'd ever seen, along with hair so blonde it was almost white.  It was obvious from his build that he was a Marine, too. Oh, the muscles on him...

He greeted me with a slow smile and approached as if I would break if he got too close. He said, "You look like you could use someone to talk to."

I angrily retorted that I just wanted to be left alone. But, he just shook his head and said, "I think you need to talk and I have the time to listen. Just take a walk with me, that's all I ask."

And, he extended his hand to help me up and held it out there as I stared at him, internally debating, for a few minutes.

I think it was his patience that won me over, continuing to hold out his hand and not otherwise pressing me. I still don't know why I decided to go with him.

I put my hand in his and we walked along the shore. I poured my heart out to him, crying a little. He listened.

He helped me gather up my things and walked me back to my truck. As I put my hand on my door to go, I caught sight of my naked ring finger and started to tear up again.

He caught my chin in his hand and turned my face to look at him and said, "You'll find someone so much better. Someone who will make this guy seem like the loser he is for letting you go." And then he asked me to meet him again the next night at the beach.

I went, despite some reservations. I went because it felt better than staying home and crying alone. I went because I secretly hoped that X would call while I was gone and my roommate could tell him I was out on a date. I went because I wanted to feel normal again.

He was there waiting for me, with a blanket spread out on the sand and a bottle of wine open. We talked until nightfall.

And then he pulled me to my feet, hummed an unidentifiable tune, and danced with me on the sand, in the moonlight.

And I began to have hope again. That my life wasn't over because my first true love had ended. That there were other men out there, ones who would love me, too.

I never saw him again after that.  He had just gotten out of the Marines and was on his way back home to Minnesota the next day. Though we talked a few times after that and he asked me to come visit him, we never saw each other again.

I think that he came into my life for that brief period of time to show me that it was possible to move on. So, to Gabriel, wherever you are: thank you.

If you must know why I never saw him again, you can read that HERE.



Blogger Jules AF said...

Aww sweet. I got goosebumps.

April 7, 2010 at 12:08 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

wow, what an amazing story. I teared up, and couldn't stop reading. Thank you for sharing. Wonderful written!

April 7, 2010 at 12:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, what a wonderful story Shell. So neat that happened to you. Very sweet.

April 7, 2010 at 12:19 AM  
Blogger Leiah said...

Wow - the whole time I'm reading this I'm thinking it was a like an angel sent to her to help ease the pain. Then you say his name was Gabriel? Major goosebumps. What a wonderful gift he gave you!

April 7, 2010 at 12:22 AM  
Blogger BNM said...

Awww!! I teared up a little this was an amazing story thanks for sharing. Sometimes God puts people in our lives at the right times!! What a sweet guy!!

April 7, 2010 at 12:30 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

wow, what a story! I had chills reading this, what a gift this guy was.

April 7, 2010 at 12:31 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

That is a great story. I am so glad that someone was there to help you get through that rough spot. God provides in every way. :-)

April 7, 2010 at 12:45 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I definitely had goosebumps reading that story. God works through others on this earth, we are his hands, we are his angels. What a beautiful story.

April 7, 2010 at 12:49 AM  
Blogger Helene said...

Gosh dang it...you got me all teary-eyed (and I'm not someone who cries easily). I could totally relate to the emotions you expressed in this post...that pain in your heart that you fear will never go away. You can't imagine ever feeling happy again.

It seems like Gabriel was an angel in disguise...sent to you right when you needed a lift up. I wonder if he'll ever know how much he helped you in just those few days.

April 7, 2010 at 12:49 AM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

wonderful post Shell sometimes all we need are ears that will listen =)

April 7, 2010 at 1:04 AM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

April 7, 2010 at 1:04 AM  
Blogger ♥ Brittany Ciara ♥ said...

This is such a sweet and touching post. It gives me insight too. When I broke up with my 1st boyfriend, I said crazy things like I will never love anyone else! Now that I think about it, I drive myself insane! I'm 17, I don't know what love is yet! Thanks for sharing Shell.

April 7, 2010 at 1:56 AM  
Blogger Stasha said...

Oh Shell! This story made me cry! He came into your life, all be it briefly, for a reason.

April 7, 2010 at 2:10 AM  
Blogger TuTu's Bliss said...

Now THAT is how you tell a romantic story. Who needs to waste cash on romance novels after reading that?

April 7, 2010 at 5:18 AM  
Blogger Eternal Lizdom said...

Ditto Leiah!! I was breathless reading it... and then his name is Gabriel... total angel story!!

April 7, 2010 at 6:24 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

Love when things happen at the right time.

April 7, 2010 at 7:26 AM  
Blogger gina said...

Everything in life happens for the exact reason at the exact time for the exact reason it is supposed too!

April 7, 2010 at 7:30 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

That story is amazing! Isn't it cool how God sends us exactly what we need when we need it. Have a wonderful day, honey!

April 7, 2010 at 7:37 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

That was one of the sweetest things I have ever heard.

April 7, 2010 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger Sugar Bear said...

That was amazingly written. You should try to submit that to a few True Story magazines or even Chicken Soup For The Soul....

Beautiful. How wonderful that happened exactly when you needed it to.

April 7, 2010 at 7:54 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

I cried and got goosebumps too!

What a wonderful story of heartbreak and hope...

Thank you for sharing it.


April 7, 2010 at 8:00 AM  
Blogger Jene said...

What a beautiful story! Sounds like he was in just the right place at just the right time.

April 7, 2010 at 8:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How sad and terribly romantic all at the same time - it could be a Nicholas Sparks book!

I really wish we had kept in touch and gotten through all that we were both dealing with together.

April 7, 2010 at 8:02 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Wow. Goosey bumps. He was your own angel :)

April 7, 2010 at 8:04 AM  
Blogger Foursons said...

Oh my gosh, are you kidding me? This is right out of a romance novel! *sigh*

April 7, 2010 at 8:17 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

What a beautiful story. Of course I'm crying.

April 7, 2010 at 8:34 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hmm Gabriel?? Well I firmly believe EVERYONE we encounter belogng on our trees of life.. some are like the leaves here for a season then gone, but they fulfilled their purpose. his was fulfilled, he reminded you what you were worth and you deserved love that could love you with that unexpecting grace and softness he gave you...

April 7, 2010 at 8:44 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

What an awesome story :) And what an awesome guy :)

April 7, 2010 at 8:45 AM  
Blogger Alone in Holy Land said...

Shel, you are fantastic and I am so glad I found you and your blog!
Please do visit mine, you have there an award...

April 7, 2010 at 9:04 AM  
Blogger Ian said...

I didn't tear, get goosebumps, pee, or fart. Instead I read a beautiful story.

Thanks, I needed that.

April 7, 2010 at 9:39 AM  
Blogger Messy Mommy said...

That is the most touching story ever! It was like reading a Nicholas Sparks book! Love it. That so was turning into Dear John!!!

April 7, 2010 at 9:44 AM  
Blogger Joy Taylor said...

That just sounded like a script from a movie! Beautiful!

April 7, 2010 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger Kelly and Sara said...

Amazing story! Thanks for sharing :)


April 7, 2010 at 9:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is such a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.


April 7, 2010 at 9:53 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

Wow...such an amazing story. I am with you. I think some people come into our life for a brief moment..sometimes to spread a bit of sunshine on our gloomy outlook.

Dance on the beach...now that is nice.

April 7, 2010 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger VandyJ said...

Just goes to show that there are decent guys out there--even if it's easier to find the jerks. Every now and then the good ones find us.

April 7, 2010 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

He certainly does sound like the angel you needed at the exact time you needed him.
I am a firm believer in divine appointments.

April 7, 2010 at 11:24 AM  
Blogger tessica said...

thank you for sharing that
life can be pretty amazing who it send our ways!
i am glad he was there for you!

April 7, 2010 at 11:31 AM  
Blogger Angelia said...

How wonderful! Experiences like that never leave our memory!

April 7, 2010 at 11:49 AM  
Blogger Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I love how you described the soothing calm that washed over you as you sat on the semi-secluded beach.

Great story-such a reminder that we never know how we can effect other people's lives even if we are a part of it for just a moment.

April 7, 2010 at 12:06 PM  
Blogger Kara @ His, Hers and Ours said...

Lot's of tears for you...and for me.

I think all of us have been there a time in our life, and your experience hit close to home for me. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

What a beautiful tribute to Gabriel, and to yourself as well.

April 7, 2010 at 12:18 PM  
Blogger Tabatha said...

NOw I love that story! thanks so much.. that is the kind of stuff you read about!

April 7, 2010 at 12:23 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Awww, girl you should write a book!

April 7, 2010 at 12:27 PM  
Blogger Daisygirl said...

That is the most romantic thing ever! What a sweetheart! I agree he came into your life to help you believe in love again...this could so be a movie!

April 7, 2010 at 12:55 PM  
Blogger Sassy Salsa girl said...

A tear =/
That was a wonderful story. Its nice to know there are people out there like that.

April 7, 2010 at 1:06 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

What a great story! Sounds like he came along at the perfect time. ;)

My question... why didn't you ever see him again?

April 7, 2010 at 1:23 PM  
Blogger Lothiriel said...

This is a beautiful story!!! Wow...! It's funny how angels move about this world!

April 7, 2010 at 1:25 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Wow Shell, what a wonderful story. That was so sweet and so true to the fact that some people come in and out of our lives for a reason. Some just to be there and help you move on to a better version of you. Thanks for sharing that sweet story, it was great that you had someone like that to help you through such a painful time.

April 7, 2010 at 1:47 PM  
Blogger Miss Fit said...

WOW! He was definitely an Angel. What a sweet story and so glad to read it!

April 7, 2010 at 1:52 PM  
Blogger Kinsey said...

What a great story and an honestly wonderful man!

April 7, 2010 at 1:56 PM  
Blogger Jenna said...

wow what a beatuiful story! You could totally write a book about those few days!! I would totally read it!

April 7, 2010 at 2:38 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

That's a really nice story. It might be cheesy, but it reminds me of that poem (i think from an email forward) how some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Sounds like this one was a really good reason!

April 7, 2010 at 2:47 PM  
Blogger Juliana said...

OMG I seriously have goosebumps. That story is incredible, almost made for Hollywood! WOW.

April 7, 2010 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger Kim Dettmer said...

Awwww...isn't it amazing how things happen as they are meant to - especially when things at their hardest?!!? Loved the hearing the snippet of your life!

April 7, 2010 at 4:04 PM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

I think his name being Gabriel was God giving you a clue that He was totally with you through that. A-MA-zing story!

April 7, 2010 at 4:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a beautiful story Shell and how this stranger came at the perfect time to help you.

April 7, 2010 at 4:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay..that's just too effing beautiful of a story!

April 7, 2010 at 5:32 PM  
Blogger Laurel said...

That was really beautiful. Once, when I was teaching at a university, I let my class go and lingered in the room. I started dancing to some music I had playing, and a guy who taught after me came in and asked me to dance. It still ranks in one of the top ten moments of my life. Some people--even ones you only know for an hour--are really, really amazing. I'm glad you met this one.

April 7, 2010 at 5:47 PM  
Blogger Mellodee said...

If his name had been Butch it would have just been kinda sweet. But "Gabriel" bumps it right up to a whole different level. Someone's watching over you for sure!!

April 7, 2010 at 6:55 PM  
Blogger Michelle @Flying Giggles said...

What a sweet story. His job was to give you hope!

April 7, 2010 at 7:07 PM  
Blogger x said...

Shell, that makes me teary a bit. What a really cool story. Maybe he was like a guardian angel.

April 7, 2010 at 7:58 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I think people are sent to us at certain times in our lives when we need them most. They don't always stay, but they are there in that instant so we're not alone...

Gabriel, you are a gem! I'm so glad you had him at that perfect time, Shell. Love the way you poured your heart out here.

April 7, 2010 at 8:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have me in tears over here, Shell! What a beautiful story. Reminds me of a guy I met at the beach when I was 12 and never saw him again either, but I still remember him.

p.s. I've wanted to participate in your meme, but I'm not quite ready yet to pour my heart out. That's a hard thing for me to do and I admire you and everyone for being able to do so.

April 7, 2010 at 9:11 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Micek said...

OH my gosh!! You should write a book, cause that was the best story I've ever heard!! I got goosebumps!! :)

April 7, 2010 at 10:05 PM  
Blogger Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

That was BEYOND beautiful, and a story I needed to hear tonite. Thank you.

April 7, 2010 at 10:16 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh how amazing! I teared up reading this story. What an amazing experience at just the right time. Just.. wow.

April 7, 2010 at 10:25 PM  
Blogger T.J. said...

Powerful story, Shell- wow! How ironic that his name was Gabriel?

April 7, 2010 at 10:33 PM  
Blogger Shannon K. said...

I think you read too much Nicholas Sparks.

Of course, I am kidding. I think that is a touching story.

April 8, 2010 at 1:47 AM  
Blogger Just Jen said...

It's like he was your angel. He was sent to pull you up out of the hole you were digging to put yourself in.

April 8, 2010 at 11:54 AM  
Blogger Jami said...

Good Lord! You could write a book about this!

April 8, 2010 at 1:30 PM  
Blogger Stacy's Snippets said...

Geez...what a great story! Ummm....do you think Gabriel is still single? Maybe I could get his number? :)

April 8, 2010 at 6:54 PM  
Blogger Venassa said...

I got a little teary as well. You sure know how to tell a story that gets people interested from the very beginning.

April 8, 2010 at 7:57 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

He's an angel. :)

May 10, 2010 at 2:15 AM  
Blogger Clara said...

Holly crap, that was beautiful!You should write a book about this.

May 10, 2010 at 4:38 AM  
Blogger Kerri said...

Oh my GOSH I can't even see the screen through my tears. What a wonderful man! WHat a precious memory...thank you for sharing this with us! There ARE people who are genuine, and who care.

May 10, 2010 at 9:01 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

They should all be like that!

May 10, 2010 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger Christine Lucas said...

It's funny how we are always reluctant to believe people are truly nice. I always joke that when I met my husband I was thinking, "Look, if you are going to treat me well and always call me back how am I supposed to become attracted to you?"

May 10, 2010 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger MrsJenB said...

That's beautiful! He was definitely sent to you for a reason, as I know you know.

May 10, 2010 at 9:57 AM  
Blogger chele said...

That was a great story.

May 10, 2010 at 10:34 AM  
Blogger CL Stone said...

What a sweetheart! :)

May 10, 2010 at 11:43 AM  
Blogger Jinnia Low said...

Amazing story! You took the best from it and I admire that :)

May 10, 2010 at 2:49 PM  
Blogger mypixieblog said...

yea. literally GOOSEBUMPS all over my arms and legs. awwwww. what a sweetheart! i love that you danced under the moonlight, i can't think of anything more romantic.

stopping by from SITS and i will most definitely return. thank you for sharing this story with us, it's the kind of pick-me-up i really needed to hear.


May 10, 2010 at 3:53 PM  
Blogger Eve said...

It's so good to have memories of people who have touched our lives during important moments.

May 10, 2010 at 4:43 PM  
Blogger jules1219 said...

Gabriel was like an angel, helping you through that very difficult time in your life. Great story.

May 10, 2010 at 4:48 PM  
Blogger SimplySandi said...

Love the Pour Your Heart out section. This is a great story... and I'm glad you posted the "ending"

May 10, 2010 at 7:03 PM  
Blogger Elle said...

coming over from SITS and read both this and the second part about Gabriel. What a cool story. Also, so glad you have your hubby and that you can reflect on life as it was and know that your life was not nearly over.


May 10, 2010 at 9:47 PM  
Blogger Maria said...

A sweet story xx

May 11, 2010 at 12:31 AM  
Blogger Jada Rocks said...

Such a real life fairytale. I'm so glad he was there to help you through the hard transition period of the x relationship. Who knows how your life would be different if he wasn't there for that brief moment to give you a new perspective on love and life. Great post, thanks.

May 12, 2010 at 11:10 AM  
Blogger Jada Rocks said...

Oh, and congrats on your SITS DAY!


May 12, 2010 at 11:13 AM  

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