< Things I Can't Say: Best Friends

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Sunday, November 1, 2009

Best Friends

I kind of hesitate to use that term, since it seems silly to use it as an adult, but it's accurate, so I'm going to not care that I sound childish.

My best friend and I met when we were in preschool. We have a darling pic of the two of us at the Christmas program in our frilly holiday dresses.

We were friends from then through high school. Not always the best of friends. Sometimes we were in different classes and sometimes we were in different circles. We never had any major fights, we just would kind of drift apart sometimes, but always come back together.

When I went away to college, we lost touch.

I'm not really sure why. Just headed in different directions, I guess.

We would think about each other often(I have later found out) and try to get in touch, but it wouldn't work or we would feel stupid about calling someone however many years later.

But, about a year ago, we ran into each other at the peds office.

She has two boys, almost exactly the same ages as my oldest two.

But, we acted all stupid and didn't exchange any sort of contact info.

Then, in February, I broke down and joined in the FB addiction and we found each other on there.

Since then, we have become inseparable.

At least one playdate a week for our kids, somewhere where we can easily keep an eye on them so that we can talk. And talk. And talk.

In the almost 14 years that we did not talk, we have found out that despite not talking to each other, we had very similar experiences.

We got engaged within months of each other.

We decided to cheat on the guys we were engaged to so that we would then be forced to end engagements that we knew weren't right. (I know- how awful! And it's something that is hard to explain unless you were in the situation, but since we both did the same thing, we totally understand each other)...oh, and we both did this rather appalling thing within a month of each other.

Both broke off our engagements in the same week as the other. Her, with relief; me, with a broken heart.

Both got engaged again in the same month.(not to the same guys that we were previously engaged to)

Married within months of each other.

Had our first and second boys within months of each other. Too bad she doesn't have a counterpart to my Cub, though.

Oh, and that won't happen b/c our dhs got snipped within months of each other, too. Ahaha.

Looking back, we think why the heck weren't we talking?

Granted, we lived far apart for the majority of that time, but how comforting it would have been to have someone who really understood what the other was going through.

It seems like such a waste that we weren't there for each other for so long.

And now, of course, I'm moving away.

She's pretty much the only non-family member that I expect to come visit, despite claims from other friends. And the only friend that I will be sure to visit when we are back up here, visiting my family.

This last bit is going to sound a little bit after-school-special-ish and disconnected, but I'm going to say it anyway.
If there is anyone in your life that you were close to, I urge you to find them and see if you can reconnect. I so wish that we had done that sooner.

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Blogger Foursons said...

I'm sad for you that you're moving away from your friend. It is very rare to find that kind of friendship in a lifetime.

November 1, 2009 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger Chief said...

I did the same thing. Reconnected and it feels like a part of me is whole again. She lives 2000 mile away though

November 1, 2009 at 1:05 PM  
Blogger anymommy said...

It's so hard sometimes, to keep that feeling of connection when life pulls you in different directions. I'm glad you found each other again and you are so right, these friends are priceless, hang on tight.

November 1, 2009 at 7:02 PM  
Blogger Tracie said...

I'm sorry that you are going to be separated from you friend again. At least we have the technology to stay connected so you don't lose contact again.

November 1, 2009 at 7:38 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

How happy you guys got together and sad that your moving now. Thank God for FB huh!? I have connected with some old friends thru it too and dson't get to see them cause they live a thousand miles away but we talk at least!

November 2, 2009 at 12:46 PM  
Blogger rachel... said...

I have a similar story of my best friend from high school. I moved away for college and we gradually lost touch, although we'd send a letter or call every couple of years. We still live very far apart, but since we reconnected recently on (cringe) FB, we talk nearly every single day. It's like we were never apart!

And I cheated on the guy I was engaged to first, and then broke off the engagement and got married fairly quickly to someone else, too. *blushing*

November 3, 2009 at 9:15 AM  

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