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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Scariest Thing

The scariest thing that has ever happened to me does not involve ghosts, goblins, or any other creature from the darkside.

It started out innocently enough.

Three moms, hanging out at a park in the middle of nowhere with their five children. Me, massively pregnant(2 weeks from giving birth to my 3rd baby) and taking care of Bear(about to turn 2) and Monkey(3.5).

Monkey was playing with his friends, while Bear happily played on the bleachers.

Lots of talk between the moms.



No real panic at first.

There are lots of places for him to be.

on the baseball field.

Over on the playground.

By the bathrooms.

On the football field.

Near the picnic pavillions.

Trying to get into my truck.


He was right there.

We were all maybe 10 feet away from where he was playing.

None of us saw him leave.

He has to be here somewhere.

We corralled the other kids and started to call for him...a child who is almost nonverbal.

We look everywhere.

We can't see him anywhere.

Panic creeps into my voice and the baby in my belly starts frantically kicking in empathy.

A car comes down the deserted road, driving slowly.

I make a mad dash towards it. Maybe they've seen my son.

Maybe they took my son.

Oh, God, let my baby boy be okay.

Calls for him become more and more frantic.

We discover what is beyond the cluster of trees that border the park.

A rapidly rushing river.


Bear, who has no fear of water.

Oh, dear Lord, don't let him be in the river.

Let him be okay.

Don't let me lose my little boy, 3 days before his second birthday.

Where is my Bear?

Heart, keep beating.

Baby in my belly, stay there. Mommy will calm down soon, just as soon as she finds your brother.

The world is starting to spin.

My friends, calling for me to calm down, that we will find him. Calm down, think of the baby, now is not the time to go into labor.

How could I have lost him?

I was right there, how is it possible that I didn't see him leave?

"I FOUND HIM!" comes a yell from one of the other moms.

He somehow managed to open and close the gate to the ballfield, tricking us into thinking he couldn't have gone that way. He was behind the concession stand, where we couldn't see...about 20 feet away from the rushing river.

A year and half later and my heart still pounds, thinking about that day.

I have not returned to that park since then.

Not that it is the park's fault.

But, I don't think I could return without having a panic attack from the memory.



Blogger SupahMommy said...


my heart just stopped when you mentioned the water



years later.

October 26, 2009 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

uh yea, that would scare the crap out of me too. Glad everything was ok! I start to panic if my kids are upstairs playing and they don't answer right away or I can't find them in one of the rooms!

October 26, 2009 at 10:02 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

There is nothing worse than not being able to find your child! When I read "water", my heart skipped a beat. Thank god you found him safe and sound!

October 26, 2009 at 11:18 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Yikes... that gave me a panic attack just thinking about it!!!

Definitely a super scary, never go-away memory!!

October 26, 2009 at 12:50 PM  
Blogger Oliver'sMom said...

I had a friend who "lost" her 2 year old at the local blueberry patch, which happens to be right next to the irrigation ditch...She found him after a lot of panicked searching WAIST DEEP in the irrigation ditch...My son just had a close encounter with a 4 lane highway, so I know that panic even though I wasn't told about the incident until two days later...Wow, your post almost brought me to tears!

October 26, 2009 at 1:11 PM  
Blogger rachel... said...

I (and I think the baby in MY belly!) panicked myself just reading this! It's such a terrifying moment and all these horrible scenarios flash through your mind all at once... When my oldest was 2 or so, I 'lost' her for a few minutes at a Kohl's store. I was terrified and have never forgotten that feeling.

I can't imagine how parents manage to survive children being kidnapped and never knowing what's happened to them...

SO glad Bear's okay!

October 26, 2009 at 1:27 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

SCARY! When you have a child disappear it seems like 10 million things will run in your head. Your not sure if you should beat them or cover them in kisses when they are found.
Mine disappeared at an amusement park while I was riding the scrambler. One minute I seen her at my parents feet and the nest she was gone. I'm on a ride going round and round and freaking! She was found wandering behind them on a lil road. Scary scary.

October 26, 2009 at 1:30 PM  
Blogger MommyBrain said...

So glad your Bear was okay. How awful. I've only imagined this scenario yet reading your post made me feel like I was there - it was happening to me and my little pumpkin(and 31 week fetus).

It also made me think about a good friend of mine who did lose her two year old little guy ... he drowned while under the watch of a babysitter. It happened about 15 years ago, and I just cannot fathom her pain.

Hugs to you and your three safe munchkins!

October 26, 2009 at 3:06 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

MommyBrain, how awful! My heart breaks for her. I can't even imagine.

I used to be sort of snotty about this and think that people who lose their kids are irresponsible...and now I know that all it takes is a split second and they can be gone.

October 26, 2009 at 3:13 PM  
Blogger kys said...

That is scarey! I had a similar experience with my youngest in a sporting goods store. I thought he had run out the front door. We found him playing in one of the tents.

October 26, 2009 at 10:23 PM  
Blogger BJ_Mama said...

WOW! My heart was pounding just reading that. Glad you found him...and you know what, I wouldn't go back to that park either...

October 27, 2009 at 12:51 AM  

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