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Friday, April 29, 2011

Blog Friend Feature: Peanut Butter in My Hair

I've been reading today's Blog Friend Feature for a long time now: most of my bloggy-life.  She's always insightful.  Open and honest, even about the tough stuff like PPD. I always know that I will get a good read whenever I visit her blog.

She's been a little busier than usual lately, getting adjusted to life with three kids. But, I still really wanted to introduce you to her because I know you will love her. Meet Melissa of Peanut Butter in My Hair.

I know everyone says this, but I am really excited to be Shell’s BFF today! Shell is such a supportive blogger and she picked me even though I am a horrible commenter (but a really loyal reader!). I hope you’ll stop by and visit me too. I promise I’ll come by to read, maybe comment. See I have a newborn (just about 10 weeks old) and I read on my phone, so if there are any hoops, word verifications, or crazy logons I can’t do it. Fat tired hands, tiny phone, it’s a DYAC Post waiting to happen.
Supermom is a Myth
There is one thing I hate being called just about more than anything in the world, Supermom. It’s thrown around so much these days, in the media, on the playground, everywhere I turn there she is.
Be a Supermom, in 10 easy steps!

How to look like the Supermom at your preschool!

Meet Supermom blogger Shell!

“You are such a Supermom”
Hearing that in reference to myself makes me cringe for two reasons. One, supermom is a myth, she is this unattainable fictional character we have created. Two, I think 9 times out of 10 it’s a jab, a backhanded compliment, said with a knowing smile a side eye and a nod. It comes out almost derogatory, like clearly you are neglecting your children, husband, everything to create the illusion of Supermom because you? You can't possibly have it more together than me.

Back to the myth.
It’s a myth because there is no way to do it all, something always has to give. You can’t have a Pottery Barn styled home, have a successful career, be the best room mom there is, have home cooked meals from fresh organic produce 7 days a week, all while being a doting wife and engaging in wonderful hobbies and crafts that are always beautiful, and maintaining a rockin' bod. I mean maybe you can if you don’t sleep or are a robot.

The truth is it’s a give and take. I can bring in a beautiful hand sewn gift for the teachers for Christmas along with fun homemade snacks for the class party and look “super”. What your not seeing is that PBS has parented my kids for the last three days while I sewed, I don’t remember the last time I showered, we have had cereal and mac and cheese for every meal and my husband well I’m sure he’s under one of these piles of laundry somewhere.

There is no super cape given out to a select few moms, we are all super at different things. I am super at making crafty gifts, snacks and parties but seriously don’t look at my house because I am as undomestic as they come. My friend keeps an amazingly beautiful house and cooks awesome meals every night, she gives your standard gift cards as gifts, if she remembers to bring one. I'm not super, she’s not super we’re both just moms. We have different interests, different talents. We put our time and energy into different things but at the end of the day, we're just moms, and that's Super.

I’m not super and I don’t wear a cape, I do occasionally done some super heels! Do you rock the school meeting in heels and a great skirt or do you hang out in the back in your yoga pants and hoodie? Is it hard to distinguish your laundry or side of the closet from your husbands? Than I hope you will come visit me on Monday as Erin and I launch a new monthly challenge and link up “Dress Like a Girl” it’s going to be fun, easy, inspirational and hopefully rewarding! See you then!

Please leave Melissa some comment love here and then go follow her blog if you don't already!

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Blogger Desperate Housemommy said...

Loved this. I actually do have a Supermom friend. I just learned last month that she does not sleep. No lie.

Headed to your place now in anticipation of soon learning how to dress like a girl. *fluttering eyelashes now*

April 29, 2011 at 8:05 AM  
Blogger A Mommy in the City said...

Such a great post! And so true! I have no hopes to be a super mom, as seen from others. I just hope to be a great mom to my daughter.

Heading over to follow your blog now!

April 29, 2011 at 8:25 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

So much truth in this post! I am no where near a supermom and I'm okay with that.

April 29, 2011 at 8:31 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

I totally agree. Sometimes you just have to let things go. That explains why this morning my son had no clean underwear ;)

April 29, 2011 at 9:06 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

I hate when people ask me how I do it all because I am no where near supermom status.

April 29, 2011 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger TheKirCorner said...

it reminds me of a favorite Train song "Superman".."I don't want to be your superman baby, I just want and that'll be super!"


My family loves to tell me how "I do it all" but it's a facade...I do what I can, when I can...and if some of comes off as "awesome" I"ll take the little bit and get back to my boring life. ;)

enjoyed "meeting" you...plus your new Monday link up sounds fun...goodness knows I love to Dress like a girl!

April 29, 2011 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

I'd never ever accuse a mother of being Super - for that very reason you say - it's sort of a back handed compliment, right?  But I know - deep down, even if she looks amazing, her house is "always" clean, etc. there's stuff she's not doing either. Like she is a penguin hoarder. Or she licks butter. See. Goofy things, but no one can do it all and we moms know that. I typically compliment an act I see - like her bringing cupcakes or something - but leave it at that. Nice job Shell - Love the BFFs! hope you had a good week!

April 29, 2011 at 10:58 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Great feature. I'm not big on the supermom title either, it basically implies that there are a whole bunch of us not doing the mom thing as well as we should. And really? All of us are doing the best we can.

April 29, 2011 at 11:43 AM  
Blogger Rach said...

Love it. Thank you for saying I don't have to be supermom. I tell myself that all the time, but I still try to be supermom. Grrr. All the mompetition out there!

BTW, I have a 16 wk old so I understand surfing the net one handed. I read blogs while nursing. Was that TMI?

I have no shame.

April 29, 2011 at 11:50 AM  
Anonymous January said...

So, so true. I totally agree that we all have different interests and that's where we shine...and all Mom's should simply celebrate THAT. Nobody can do it all AND be content. Great post...I'll be popping by your blog!

April 29, 2011 at 12:15 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

So true. I feel like I was just relieved of having to worry about the fact I don't aspire to be a good housekeeper.

April 29, 2011 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger mama marchand said...

What a great name for a blog! Love it. :)

April 29, 2011 at 1:23 PM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

I think each mom has their own gifts, strengths and limits. Being a mom that is there for your kids is what is important.

April 29, 2011 at 2:02 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Great post. I lost hope in becoming a super mom about 6 weeks into the gig. I don't think I"m missing out on anything!

April 29, 2011 at 3:22 PM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

This is very much my thinking when naming my blog. A very tongue in cheek look at being a supermom. It is just not possible without supernatural intervention!

Great post, I will have to stop by and check out your new feature. I like to dress like a girl :)

April 29, 2011 at 3:50 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I hear ya. I can promise you if I call someone "Super Mom" then I am being catty. But also, no one would EVER mistake me for a super mom. I never have it together and I'm usually forgetting everything I need to do. Oh well. My kids are well loved. That's super enough for me.

April 29, 2011 at 4:17 PM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Great post... all things I know, and yet I still try... I can't seem to help myself!

April 29, 2011 at 8:08 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Luckily, I don't hear that term much at all. Most of my friends are working, have help, and are happy to admit they can't do it all! I constantly feel like I'm drowning and am one of those people working at night and not sleeping. I think it goes back to the basic issue of moms judging each other to feel better about their own situations, sadly.

April 29, 2011 at 8:46 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Tuna said...

So sweet of you to promote others blogs, I'll run over there now.

April 30, 2011 at 9:44 PM  
Blogger MrsJenB said...

This is so super insightful, but of course I'd expect nothing less from her!

I think, too, that we're all too hard on ourselves and have our own versions of "super" which of course we'll never attain.

Not to brag by DH told me yesterday that I'm the "perfect" wife. Seriously, not to brag, and it's easy to be romantic and say things like that when you've both showered and groomed and you're at a nice restaurant on a beautiful day. Of course, in my head I protested because how could I possibly be perfect? I'm fat, I have laundry laying all over "my" side of the bedroom, I hardly ever find time to clean the bathroom and I'm afraid of driving so DH drives me everywhere like I'm Miss Daisy or something.

But I guess in his eyes I'm perfect because I do what's important to him, and I love him, and that's okay. I wouldn't want to kill the illusion ;)

May 1, 2011 at 12:08 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

I love this post! Sometimes I hate it when my "new" mom friends try to be supermom and I try to be realistic and say its okay to not be perfect at everything. I love my babies to death and I know they love me and that's all that matters!

Thanks for sharing!

May 1, 2011 at 1:37 PM  
Blogger Hyacynth said...

So with you, Melissa!! Shell, what a great featured BFF post. Love Melissa. :)

May 1, 2011 at 2:17 PM  
Blogger Moomser said...

oh crap, now that I had this supermom thing down you're telling me it's unnecessary??!! ;-)

May 1, 2011 at 5:49 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Great post! And she is exactly right. I go through phases- the good housekeeper, the awesome e chef, the creative mama-but never all at once-it's impossible

May 1, 2011 at 6:16 PM  
Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

So right. Women should stop aspiring to be a SuperMom and just be a good one. Because that is all we can do.

Going to check out Melissa's blog!

May 2, 2011 at 8:09 PM  
Blogger Lady Jennie said...

This is full of gorgeousness. I get the same thing, like when I bake 36 cupcakes for the kids' class, but it usually means my kitchen is a mess and my kids are drooling comatose in front of the tv. You just can't do it all.

May 4, 2011 at 8:26 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Love her perspective!

June 11, 2011 at 4:52 PM  

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