Because You Are Important
Editing this to say that it's not that I'm being beat up emotionally right now, it's more that I have seen some meanness around, and it hurts my heart to see it happen to anyone. So, this is for any of you who feel like you're being attacked right now. I want to try to balance out some of the meanness out there by telling you that you are important. I didn't mean this to be a waaaaaah poor-me post, so please don't take it like that.
I didn't used to get this blogging thing.
Why the heck does someone blog?
I mean, isn't it weird to talk about your life to people you don't know?
But, then, I got it.
Blog friends are real.
They listen. They laugh with you and cry with you.
They rally in support of a fellow blogger's difficult time, like with Mission Monkey.
If you are very lucky, you have friends like this in real life, too. I have Angie at In My Own Little Corner, whom I've known since we were four. She gets me and lets me be me without judging.
But, really, she's been the only one in real life to do so. Including my family. Who is here right now visiting.
But, in blog land? I can't even begin to list the friends I have made here. Who listen and care and forgive me for having a bad day or a busy week. I suck as a blog visitor this week. New around here? That's not like me.
I could make a long list of those of you whom I feel so close to. And some new friends that I already feel such a connection to. But, I worry that it would take me all day to list all of you and that I might accidentally leave someone off the list. And I would feel bad about that forever.
But, you know who you are. And yes, I'm talking to you.
I know I'm being really emotional and probably slightly crazy right now. Hubs would probably tell me that I'm being gay, because he's all politically correct like that.
Maybe it's PMS. I think I have PMS 3 weeks out of every month.
Or maybe it's just that I've seen some ugliness recently- in the blog world and irl, where people are tearing each other down. And blowing people off, saying they aren't important.
But, you are important.
We will return you to your regularly-scheduled sarcastic and light-hearted Shell tomorrow. This has been a test of the emergency emotional breakdown system.
I didn't used to get this blogging thing.
Why the heck does someone blog?
I mean, isn't it weird to talk about your life to people you don't know?
But, then, I got it.
Blog friends are real.
They listen. They laugh with you and cry with you.
They rally in support of a fellow blogger's difficult time, like with Mission Monkey.
If you are very lucky, you have friends like this in real life, too. I have Angie at In My Own Little Corner, whom I've known since we were four. She gets me and lets me be me without judging.
But, really, she's been the only one in real life to do so. Including my family. Who is here right now visiting.
But, in blog land? I can't even begin to list the friends I have made here. Who listen and care and forgive me for having a bad day or a busy week. I suck as a blog visitor this week. New around here? That's not like me.
I could make a long list of those of you whom I feel so close to. And some new friends that I already feel such a connection to. But, I worry that it would take me all day to list all of you and that I might accidentally leave someone off the list. And I would feel bad about that forever.
But, you know who you are. And yes, I'm talking to you.
I know I'm being really emotional and probably slightly crazy right now. Hubs would probably tell me that I'm being gay, because he's all politically correct like that.
Maybe it's PMS. I think I have PMS 3 weeks out of every month.
Or maybe it's just that I've seen some ugliness recently- in the blog world and irl, where people are tearing each other down. And blowing people off, saying they aren't important.
But, you are important.
We will return you to your regularly-scheduled sarcastic and light-hearted Shell tomorrow. This has been a test of the emergency emotional breakdown system.
posted by Shell at
6:45 AM
89 Comments:
I'm almost always oblivious of blog drama, but I think that's good thing.
I have PMS, period, After-MS, and one halfway decent week unless somebody pisses me off....
Aww, don't beat yourself up! We all know what it's like having The Family visit!
And the PMS thing happened to me 3 weeks out of the month, too---it's why I took measures to make it end!
It's almost Friday and then it's the weekend! Hang in there!
Family...the other f-word.
Sorry to hear you're having a big of a rough time, but your emergency emotional breakdown system has been successful! We all get it and will respond when those annoying little beeps come across our screen!
We all have things in our life that disrupt our blogging...and it's OK
Non-immediate family has away of taking what little energy I have.
I have no family and no "IRL" friends here at blogger, for much of the same reason as you. Sometimes I think it would be great to build all of my relationships online first. Seriously.
I have a few long term URL friends I can't wait to meet in person, one day. That list is quickly growing since I started here on blogger.
I hope your week gets better!! I see a lot of meanness on blogs too, and I don't understand, because if you disagree with someone, that's ok. But if you completely disagree with the entire reason they are blogging, (ie food choices, or how they raise their kids,) why are you even wasting time reading the blog at all? One blogger that I follow has a really mean comment almost daily. I feel so bad for her :(
And don't let the IRL people get you down. I don't know you IRL, but I think the internet-you is fabulous :)
Oh hun (((((((Big hugs)))))) I hope thing get better mama.
((hugs))
Love you!!!
Mean people suck! Seriously - if you don't have a nice comment don't comment!!! (it doesn't necessarily have to agree with what I say, but it has to be nice!)
Ok...more details please!! Who is attacking you or someone else in blogland? Want me to kick some ass?
I, too, have been kept out of the fray of drama in blogland. (keeping fingers crossed). It's so sad. I don't understand why some people make such harsh comments. Does it make them feel better to be mean?
Your breakdown was actually very sweet. I hope you're being left alone. You should be riding a high right now, SITS girl!
Ya know girl, i debated bout doing blogs... and yet it helps me feel better when I get out whatever I am feeling.. always have been that way to express it through writing. I try to make write it where I am not hurting others feelings, but guess what I still do and don't mean to. But I have found a love for blogging and making new friends, yall are unbias and state your opinions and give advice its the best.
Here is hoping your week gets better Shell.. hugs to you!
Wow! You really are talking to me, aren't you?
I had a smack down Motherbitches day yesterday. I don't usually get caught up but someone decided to take direct aim at me and ended up hurting a couple of other people in the process. (Hence my post today- and I have a feeling my comments section might get ugly)
So thank you for this post. Even if it wasn't really intended for me... it still helps me feel a little better.
This post was so sweet.... the nicest things about blog friends is that they get IT. They know how it is when you feel pressured to answer each comment, and when you simply can't. And no one is going anywhere.... we follow each other for a reason!!!
Again, soul sister.
Moms visiting us...making us crazy. :)
I've been emotional too and out of blogging commenting and responding.
p.s. I like this part of you too.
Happy Thursday, Soul Sister!
xoxox
My brother was the one being mean to me the other day, but then I deleted him as a friend on fb. Much better.
first of all the comment above me should be given an award for hilarious comment of the week
second i am sorry that you felt like you had to even write this post
you are a really awesome blogger who i always look forward to reading! crap you brought me pint! one of my favorite things of the week!!! and it sucks that people are just as "immature" online as irl!
anyways...bashin isn't my point! i just wanted you to know that a whole lot of also think you are important!
and family is stupid... i agree with boob nazi just delte them all from fb
I try to avoid the drama, too, but then I hear something has happened to a friend (here or irl). It always seems after the fact and then I fell out of the loop and can't really help. That's been my week, but I'll just blame it on PMS :)
You make a very good point that you don't get blogging until you do it. Thanks for making me feel important.
I had the same conversation with my mother the other day. She asked me " you really write things on your blog that are personal?"
Well duh. Yes I do. I don't see anything wrong with it. I like my bloggy friends quite a bit more than my IRL sometimes. I can actually open up. Yes, in blog land people still judge, make rude comments and bash but that's why there is a delete button. In the real world, you can't click a delete when some one pisses you off and says mean things to your face.
Hugs to you Shell. I like the soft side of you as well as your sarcastic side.
Sorry that there blog drama going around. I think you rock. Hope your week gets better.
I always feel weird referring to my friends online, but truthfully- they A.R.E. my friends. Some moreso than IRL.
Drama sucks, no matter what kind it is! Hang in there. This post was really true...I'm new to blogging but already have some amazing new friends!
I am with Dysfunctional Mom...
I never see the icky stuff. Am I clueless?
Shell if you need a shoulder to cry on mine is available. I can so identify with the family visiting thing. I will probably need yours in a few weeks when Kenna graduates. OMG! My baby is graduating from high school.
Anywho...lucky for me I am oblivious to blog drama these days. There is no excuse for hating. Really there isn't. Even when you think you are sticking up for someone who has been wronged. Just keep your mouth shut! SHUT! It'll save heartache in the long run.
GAWD, you're such a whiner! Get over it will ya???
[totes joking, promise]
I steer clear of the blog azzholes because I usually can't say anything nice when I get fired up.
So here's a funny for today. My 4 year old's new joke. "Did you see the chicken cross the road?"
That's it.
NO punchline.
And he laughs for hours.
Great and supportive post. May you receive the same support should you ever need it. {Hugs}
To each his own, is what I think. Write what you want, think what you want. Just go with it. And if you don't like, change the channel. Y'know? Hugs - right back at ya! :)
Hugs for you!! And see, in blogland, it's okay to whine :) cause for some reason, your blog friends don't go away :)
Hugs for you!! And see, in blogland, it's okay to whine :) cause for some reason, your blog friends don't go away :)
I hear you! I just got done having an entire horrid conversation with my parents over who I was inviting to Monkey's 2nd birthday party! I mean, really, do we have to argue about it and say mean things when it is about a 2 year old?!!!
Thanks for this note. I truly love your blog and think the world of you even if I am flighty sometimes and go MIA for weeks on end!
Well, I'm not really sure what's going on or anything like that, but I think the message of "you're important" rings true both in and out of blogland. I think we all need to remember from time to time that we ARE important and worth a little kindness, both from others and ourselves.
Hope you're feeling better soon!
I can now luckily blame Clomid for my emotional breakdowns rather than just PMS. Then I will hopefully get pregnant and can blame it on that. I'm hoping that will take up enough time that the hubby won't realize its actually just my personality! :) Sorry to hear you are having a rough week but we all do love your blog and your support. I'm being a slacker this week on commenting too so I completely understand not seeing you around as much. Hope your weekend is brighter than your week was!
Good timing, thank you.
I got turned away from a work-out class/facility earlier this week because, in her words, I was in "no shape" to be in her class.
Big hugs Shell! I think if someone is going to leave a mean comment, just don't leave one.
Funny you posted this--I just finished a post on Sex, Lies, and Mom-Blog Bullies--look for it on Wednesday.
Sorry if blog drama/bullying is affecting you!
You are important too. Thanks for what you are doing.
And a big shout out to some of my blog besties--Amy at Chapters of Me and Sarah at The Munchkin and Little Miss!
oh dear. i don't know what happened, but i hate when people are rude. really?? why do we have to be rude?
and yes, blog friends ARE real. let's all take a vacation to bloggy land.
I dont wont happened but I truly hope you have a better day today!! ♥ xoxox!
I don't know what's worse, my family or his! I can't talk to my own mother anymore without her being negative or not know what the hell is going on. You would think she never had kids! It's beyond frustrating. My two closest friends don't even have kids and are more supportive at times than she is.
Always here to listen :) Vent away, woman!
Awww....where are they?! I'll beat 'em up for ya! LOL To one of my newest "favorite" blogger buds...I'm giving you an award, my dear! :)
Award for You
i can tell by the outreach of people on your page that you're loved dont worry about pleasing the masses! just do you. bad days, weeks, months are allowed...
im newer to your page, and others and have NOT noticed any negativity. i dont believe in cliques and what not because it is what you make it all.
you've stopped by my page a few times and i had no idea of anything! so whatever you were doing was working for me...
sip a margarita and have a good weekend!!
Love ya! Hugs!
Urgh! I hear ya! Readers never seize to amaze me with their responsiveness and support. They are better listeners then most of my family! haha!! but for real though!!
Free2bMommy
www.imfree2bmommy.com
Nicely put, Shell! I love your sign off, too! hehehe
Shell, I think this not only serves as an important reminder that we are each important, but it also reminds us that we need to "play nice" with others, too. It's the little things that can make someone feel the way you just described, and that's sad.
I'm sure we've all experienced it somehow in life, but you're right. We ARE important no matter how these people act!
Well, either I am completely out of the blog loop or incredibly oblivious, but, fortunately, all I've seen are positive, supportive people saying great things about each other...with the one exception being a snarky NY Times article. :-)
Yes, my blog friends are real. Heck, some of them I like as much as my "real" friends. I don't define how a friendship should look or operate; if it's good for you, it's right.
PMS always has a say in my sappiness for sure!
Enjoy the family...we love you!
Thank you for posting this. I have recently had the same experience with seeing things that hurt me, and being hurt personally. You are not alone. I'm also PMSing. Fun times.
I literally JUST posted on my blog and used the same end line. {almost} How funny!
Man. I'm always out of the loop here on the blogosphere. I guess I'm blessed to run in a circle of peeps who are nice and supportive. You can run in our group if you want. I'll even let you hold my Edward doll. Because he's/you're important. Also, I think you're great.
I'm back....just letting you know that I "snagged" your button for my blog. :)
http://www.motherofpearlitis.com/p/blogs-i-love_24.html
Clearly I'm behind in my blog rounds as I hadn't seen your new design till now. Love what you've done with the place!
As for blog meanness, I'm sorry to hear it's going around. I haven't come across it yet in my little circle of friends and certainly hope not to.
I'm totally out of the loop as well. I'm pretty sure I would cry if someone was nasty to me...I'm pretty emotional like that. And you know what...if you don't like what I write then don't read it...I'm not forcing you to do so. It would be so nice to just have some support...as woman and mothers...the last thing we need is other women and mothers bringing us down! Shame on those people!
I hope your day gets better! We all just need to remember that those nasty comments don't matter...we know who are true "friends" are!
Oh no, well, now you've knocked me off my high horse! lol ... I've got some mean stuff coming this afternoon in my post. It's sad, but true. I need to vent a little.
By the way, you have no idea how important YOU have been in my blogging life. THANK YOU! :)
out of the loop with the blogosphere drama, but I try to do that on purpose...I miss blogosphere circa 2006!
Newbie here, though and love this.
As for PMS - women don't realize that the P stands for Pre, present and Post, so it is always in effect ;) My mom told me that years ago. Made sense to me!
Good to read "real" emotionally honest posts on occasion. Although funny and sarcastic is great, making it real gives a blog credibility and keeps the readers coming. You do a great job at it.
I swear I had month long PMS last month. I was so weepy all month long and that's not like me.
There's lots of love to go around in the blog world!
Nice post! I am in total agreement. It was a shame to stumble upon such an ugly blog posting recently. While I wanted to be offended by it I actually just felt sorry for the writer of said blog. It's clear they have their own anger/attention issues.
PMS almost looks like a video game system...especially when you wrote "PMS 3 weeks out of every month" -
New to stores in June: The PMS 3! Husbands, hold on to your wives, this is going to be a wild ride.
Ahhh Shell, I hope things get better. You have so many great things in your life and 3 super cutie kiddos. I hope you feel the sun peak through the clouds for you soon xo
I hope you feel better soon. We're here if you need us.
I'm hoping you will get better soon!!!
I can't talk to my own mother about my problems, because her solution is always to move in with her!! LOL!
I agree, our readers are very important!!! I should do a thank you post, as a matter of fact!
I must live in a bubble or something because I never hear about blog drama except in posts like this. That's how I like it though. I'm just neutral territory, always have been, no cliques, just friends with everyone.
I hope the visit this week is lots of fun for you and that you're feeling a little more at home in the new place too.
And YOU'RE important too!
I don't have a uterus anymore, so my PMS stands for "PUTTING up with MEAN SH*T" :P
I've noticed the more personal stuff that is posted on a blog, the quicker the meanies come out. So. Pathetic.
You'd think people would be more like, "hey! I can relate to that!" Or if they can't relate, they'd be like "Dude, I can't relate." You'd think, anyways.
Hugs to you Shell! I can totally relate to this post. I love blogging because I have met so many people who are caring and supportive and make me laugh.
People will say what they will, but I agree with you completely. The support in the blogging world is real! People are better able to open up because it's in writing. It's a great release, and I too have made many friends throughout the process. I'm even going to meet one of them soon! :)
You are one of my bloggy friends that I LOVE!
That was a great post Shell! and I don't think it soundy whiney at all (no that's me right now) Sometimes we just need to get it out. It sucks you can't be "real" with your own family, I totally get that and it's no fun. That's one thing I fell in love with right away too with bloggy land is that you can be yourself without being judged (and even if you are it'd be by some dingbat you'd never even know right :)) Luv ya Shell! Thanks for being so open and honest!
Bloggy friends are great friends. Always supportive. I love the community I've found through blogging :)
I like you Shell. I think you could become one of my new favourites.
xxx
Shell, I'm still so new to this that I don't know what's been going on, but you are wonderful, and so are the things you write. You're not whining, you're venting. That's what this is for, right? And from the responses you have, I think your emergency emotional breakdown system is quite functional.
I wish I could send you a piece of flair I have on Facebook. It says, "No drama. Violators will be bitch-slapped." Perhaps you should make a button?
If I knew you IRL I'd buy you a drink right about now. Mental hugs and virtual margaritas to you!
Peace Love and Hugs my bloggy pal ...Enjoy your visits with the family and just know YOU are important too!
Shell, you are the best! I don't know what is going on but I know you are the real deal and you are here for all of us. We are here for you too. xoxo
Hang in there kiddo, my fam arrives Saturday!!! I love you, big hugs heading your way.
Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's for Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com
It's strange, isn't it; blogging and commenting on stuff written by someone you don't know, and will probably never meet ... but there seams to be lots of nice people around in this weird virtual world ... the real world is a rather hostile place >:)
Cold As Heaven
Hhhhmmm, guess Im out of the loop. I didnt know there was any blog drama going on. Everything I see lately has been really nice. Which I guess is a good thing. =)
DUDE! I always have PMS too. It sucks and having family in town is so energy draining. I feel ya!
Also, I am so new to the bloggy blog world, but I truly love it. You are one of the reasons why!!
Hey lil sis! You sound a little down in that post. (kind of like mine from yesterday). We all get that way and I agree that PMS is here longer than one week at my house. Hang in there and chin up! How is the visit going? I will email ya tonight. Here is a big sister hug from me to you! Love ya! :)
I finally came to the conclusion that my pms needed meds! :) so I get it.... hugs.....you really are the best, and it is totally ok to be a bit grumpy here and there. I just wrote a whole post about my top ten reasons that I need therapy. :)
First time dropping by, think I'll pull up a chair and hit that follow button, looking forward to the sarcastic and light-hearted Shell tomorrow :)
Hot topic! I often ponder why people irl can't be as non-judgemental as those I "meet" blogging. Which leads me to ponder whether those I "meet" blogging are really as non-judgement in real life as they are when they are blogging.
Then my head hurts. It's a good post Shell. I love my bloggy friends too.
Dear Shell,
You aren't having PMS, you are just a really sweet person. I think that once you follow a blog for awhile, you would soon learn if a blogger is as nonjudgemental in real life as they are when they are blogging. A zebra can't change its stripes and eventually the "real" person shines through. You come across as a genuinely caring person who loves her children. That's why I love your blog so much!
Shell so sorry you are having rough days right now. i know i have to take one day at a time right now. lots of child drama - worse part is my kids are little children any more - they just act like it. I see alot of hate too all over the internet. I think that is what is putting me in a bad mood - that and pre-menopause. Hang in there - i try to take it one day at a time.
Only once did I have blog drama and it was my sister...and we got that settled quick...my blog...
I heart you. So much!
And I think I have PMS for 3 weeks out of each month, too. Leo always loves my "happy" week...lol!
xoxo
I have come to the realization my not IRL friends are better than the few IRL friends I have.
I do try to stay away from any drama around blog world I just don't get the anons coming into a blog and dogging someone out I means what is up with that?
Love you, hun - sorry I missed your SITS day...hope lots of new friends found you :)
Man I missed the whole thing!!!!!! Hope you are ok!
Holly
Sounds like you could use a verse of "Annie"..."Betchyour bottom dollar that tomorrow,there'll be sun!" Keep writing those wonderful words.
Hey Shell! First time visitor here..Some of my bloggy buds were singing your praises so I thought I'd come over and say hi! It's nice to meet you! Love your blog. I'm a new follower =)
Oh and the drama...ugh I stay away from that as much as I can. We are all grown women...mothers, even and should carry ourselves as such. I get frustrated seeing bloggers throwing sand around and having hissy fits. Who wants to read that nonsense, ya know?
Oh and I totally PMS three weeks outta the month too!!
you are so funny! this cracked me up, especially your little bra story! Totally cute!
www.justcherishtoday.com
(HUGS) Shell! I have been a terrible blog friend this week too. Ugh.
Hi I found you on friday follow and I am now a follower! I would love if you would visit my site and follow me too!
Thanks, Mellisa
www.funsavingmoney.net
aw Shell, look at this outpouring of support! I'm a little late to the game as it's Saturday, but chose this post to comment on although I should just mainly say "ditto" of everyone up there ;) You're a SITS girl, so poo pwh to the nasties out there!
Interestingly, I had been considering starting a Friday follow I had recently seen *ahem*, but now when I do decide to start, I'll be taking your treehouse suggestion. Thanks you smarty, sexy girl you!!
enjoy the remainder of your weekend :)
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