Frump Gets in the Way of Mom Sexy
I had the honor of being the Mom Sexy Blogger of the Month in April. And, most of the time, I can totally fake that pull that off.
I can have confidence and not care that my body doesn't look the same as it did back before I had kids or that my idea of a hot night out still gets us home by 10pm...at the latest.
But, what can really get me down is dressing like a frump.
It's hard to feel Mom Sexy in sweats or a pair of beat up shorts. Top it off with a shirt that has either a hole in it or stains on it or both and any thoughts of sexy are gone.
I make excuses.
It's comfortable.
I'm not going anywhere anyway.
My boys will make a mess of whatever I'm wearing.
Hubs doesn't care what I wear anyway.
I don't have the money for nice clothes.
But, after reading Laura Bennett's book Didn't I Feed You Yesterday?: A Mother's Guide to Sanity in Stilettos, I decided I needed to rethink my excuses. Especially after reading this quote:
"Style is not about money. Does my style say my kids have taken over my life and I haven't had sex in decades? Or does it say I'm fabulous, and these boys are going to have a hell of a time finding a girl like dear old Mom?"
Btw, you can win an autographed copy of the book here.
I have to admit that there are a lot of days when my style(can it even be called that?) probably says that my kids have completelydestroyed taken over my life. I look like I've had no sleep, like I need a shower and some caffeine.
When really, it isn't that much more effort to dress better.
And that I need to stop using money as an excuse for why I don't dress better.
Today, I'm putting on a sundress that I got at Walmart.
Yes, Walmart. I know, not exactly the fashion capital of the world.
But, I guarantee you that I look more put together and feel better about myself in my Walmart dress than I do in a pair of beat up Abercrombie shorts and a stained Bebe t-shirt.
And feeling better about myself is a way to feel Mom Sexy.
Please don't forget to vote for Mason Samuel HERE. Please help him get to the final round! The timing on it is kind of weird, so if you voted yesterday and it doesn't let you vote this morning, it should let you by the afternoon. You all are seriously fabulous for helping with this!
I can have confidence and not care that my body doesn't look the same as it did back before I had kids or that my idea of a hot night out still gets us home by 10pm...at the latest.
But, what can really get me down is dressing like a frump.
It's hard to feel Mom Sexy in sweats or a pair of beat up shorts. Top it off with a shirt that has either a hole in it or stains on it or both and any thoughts of sexy are gone.
I make excuses.
It's comfortable.
I'm not going anywhere anyway.
My boys will make a mess of whatever I'm wearing.
Hubs doesn't care what I wear anyway.
I don't have the money for nice clothes.
But, after reading Laura Bennett's book Didn't I Feed You Yesterday?: A Mother's Guide to Sanity in Stilettos, I decided I needed to rethink my excuses. Especially after reading this quote:
"Style is not about money. Does my style say my kids have taken over my life and I haven't had sex in decades? Or does it say I'm fabulous, and these boys are going to have a hell of a time finding a girl like dear old Mom?"
Btw, you can win an autographed copy of the book here.
I have to admit that there are a lot of days when my style(can it even be called that?) probably says that my kids have completely
When really, it isn't that much more effort to dress better.
And that I need to stop using money as an excuse for why I don't dress better.
Today, I'm putting on a sundress that I got at Walmart.
Yes, Walmart. I know, not exactly the fashion capital of the world.
But, I guarantee you that I look more put together and feel better about myself in my Walmart dress than I do in a pair of beat up Abercrombie shorts and a stained Bebe t-shirt.
And feeling better about myself is a way to feel Mom Sexy.
Please don't forget to vote for Mason Samuel HERE. Please help him get to the final round! The timing on it is kind of weird, so if you voted yesterday and it doesn't let you vote this morning, it should let you by the afternoon. You all are seriously fabulous for helping with this!
Labels: mom sexy
posted by Shell at
6:51 AM
65 Comments:
I never feel comfortable out of my jeans. Honest, I fidget like crazy in dresses and dressier clothes. I feel more like an arse in them then I feel that I look good.
Is it possible to be Mom Sexy in Jeans?
It does make you feel so much better to get out of those old clothes, that's for sure! I always feel much more attractive when I take a shower, blow out my hair, and put on something other than yoga pants!!
And I am sure your sundress is adorable!! Wish it were warm enough here for me to wear one...not yet!
So true...I make an effort to put on "an outfit" most days...it just feels good and you're less likely to put yourself down. I downloaded a sample of that book on my Kindle...can't wait to get to it!
They have some totally cute dresses and Target too! I bought one the other day...now I'm waiting for the temps to catch up to me!
Rock that Sundress Shell...you crazy sexy. ;o)
Enjoy your final hours on the beach with a walk on the beach with your boys in that sundress! It is probably picturesque!
I try to dress decently when I leave the house. The days I don't though... whole different story!
I try to make it a point to look somewhat put-together when I know that I'll be out in public with the kids. I'll even wear heels or wedges! I also make it a point to do my makeup every day. That is the one thing that just makes me feel pretty & feminine :-)
But when I know that I'm going to be sitting around my house all day, it's yoga pants & a tank top or tshirt for me!
Great post!! Thank you for sharing....and stopping by to say "hi" on my blog :) HUGS!! Ingrid
And again, this is why I love Laura Bennett :) Don't put on those "mom jeans" ladies!
voted!!! and entered your contest! thanks for the advice!!
voted!!! and entered your contest! thanks for the advice!!
voted!!! and entered your contest! thanks for the advice!!
Well said. It's amazing how a change in appearance can be such a mood boost. :)
Yep, I had the same heart-to-heart with my mirror image about a month ago. Now I've started using the tiny bit of free time I have in the mornings to put on something that looks a bit different than pajamas and I even go so far as to curl my hair every other day! It's amazing how an outfit (even if it does include jeans) and ten minutes with a curling iron has improved my self-confidence. Of course, I won't really be Mom Sexy again until the second baby is born in two months (or for a few months afterward), but it's the start of a good habit, right? : )
Don't worry too much about the clothes. Men are most interested when you take them off ... >:)))
Cold As Heaven
I totally can relate...i think we all can. I am always thinking the same things. But you are right...even a NEW dress from Walmart can make you feel mom sexy!
I just bought a sundress at Walmart last weekend :)
I have to agree with the commenter who said that she feels most comfortable in jeans. I just can't get into dresses or skirts, but when paired with the right top a pair of jeans can give off the sexy vibe, too!
Wow, I sound like I know what I'm talking about regarding fashion. Trust me, I don't.
Hold up. How can we talk about this without pics?
Pics or it never happened.
Unless I'm going out to a fancy dinner or a big occasion like a wedding, I'm just not comfortable in a dress. But I still like to look presentable when I leave the house. It really does boost the confidence level and make you feel better about yourself.
Wear that dress and wear it with pride!
Three Cheers!!!
Finding time to exercise and putting a little thought into my clothing choices makes me feel so much better....
EGad I showered this morning and put some actual styling stuff in my hair lol. .Does that count.. I mean seriously..I am comfortable in shorts year round for the most part lol.Never been much of a makeup girl cause I am all about the eyes and I cna never find a shade that doesn't just blend in with my eyellid..mom sexy hmmm not sure I ever really had it lol. What if we neverhad it how do we bring it back?
Well said! I do my best to dress up nicely almost everyday. Just because i sit at home doesn't mean i have to wear sweats. I also believe it helps with depression. If you look bad, your gonna feel bad.
I am so right there with you. Some days my husband comes home and I've already put on the infamous comfy clothes...or just never got out of them. It's funny, b/c I swear I was thinking of a post similar to this last night. Glad I'm not the only one out there :)
amen, sister
I can relate but at the same time I guess I'm lucky that sometimes I do feel sexy in sweats, a tank top and a ponytail!
Word, my friend. Word.
Also, the only reason I'm not in my beat up clothes everyday is that I have a desk job in an office. So I'm not allowed to wear anything sweatpants related or stained.
I kind of miss dressing comfortably.
Since my boys are bigger now and I can't use them as an excuse I started on rebuilding my wardrobe and trying to get out of my comfort zone about a year ago. It's a work in progress,lol.
I admit, if I'm not dressed in a way (which might be jeans, shorts, dress) that I want to be dressed then I have a crappy day- and sometimes, I really want to wear a dress ... sometimes not- but no matter what it is, I have to feel good about it or my day goes to shit.
It's hard when you don't leave the house. For me, it's hard to justify frying my hair with a flat iron if I'm not going anywhere! But I try to 'fix' myself up every day ...even when I work from home ... even if I don't get dressed until 5 pm just before Husband gets home. Doesn't always happen, but it's a good goal to aim for! And, LOVING the Walmart and Target clothes ... doesn't matter where they come from!
Congratulations for being foxy!
I think it's all about the little things. On Tuesday, I didn't leave the house except to pick up my Chinese takeout for dinner.
Because I didn't want that day to be a total waste of makeup, I put on giant hoop earrings (my answer for everything) and a sassy, red scarf.
And I was totally rewarded (this NEVER happens) because when I got to the restaurant, the guy who gave me my food tried to flirt with me... albeit, very poorly.
All thanks to my hoop earrings and red scarf.
So you wear your sundress to run errands! You make heads turn while you buy a new spatula and AAA batteries!
I make sure to always do my hair, get my make up on and dress cute if Im going out in public. But if Im just staying home scrubbing toilets then I put my hair in a pony, and wear my house cleaning clothes. I cant afford to stain my nice clothes.. And look at all the money Im saving on make up! Look - Im being green and didnt even know it. =)
My style doesn't say I haven't had sex since I've had kids. I think with some smart accessories (cheapos from Walmart) jeans and T-Shirts can be taken to mom-sexy level!
Rock that walmart dress (as for me I'm in a tight V-neck sweater because it was 70 yesterday and I woke up to 2 inches of snow this morning). *sigh*!
People can trash Wal-Mart all they want...because I do it too, but they have some cute clothes there!
this is SOOOO true, and i've just recently done something similar.... I called it taking time for me! This was sitting outside, in the sun, on a beautiful day (in the backyard, of course) just to catch a few rays of sun. I think we all feel a little better with just a hint of color.... I put bleach strips on my teeth before i showered, in an attempt to have the white teeth I had on our wedding day.... i did go shopping at old navy (although this wasn't in our budget, we managed to save for a few weeks so that i could).... i bought a few looser, but stylish tops and 2 pairs of shorts. i LIVE in my jeans and flip flops and all of my pre-baby-number-2 tops were form fitting. and that was fine.... BEFORE I HAD BABY NUMBER 2! i was sooo uncomfortable in any of the clothes i wore. it's amazing what a simple trimming of your bangs, a hint of color on your skin, and whiter teeth can do for you! i felt like a brand new woman! i agree that we all should put some effort into being that beautiful woman our husband fell in love with. =)
I know what you mean. When I dress frumpy I feel terrible about myself. And after reading Queen Latifah's book put your crown on I have decided to wear my crown and feel good about myself. I have been getting better about wearing something nice and doing my hair somewhat and I feel pretty good.
I love dressing up, but when I get up in the mornings I usually think to myself what's the point, I'm not going anywhere! Plus I don't like how my clothes fit me since I had our 2nd daughter 5 months ago. I never lost all of the baby weight from our 1st daughter, so when I got pregnant again, it just got worse. I have been feeling the need to get dressed een if I'm staying home all day. I'm sure my husband would love to come home to his wife looking nice and not all frumpy, even though he'd never say anything. So I'm starting a workout plan, so that I can get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes and feel good about what I am wearing!
Oh geez, you just described me perfectly...as I sit here in an old pair of jogging pants and a plain white t-shirt, with my hair in its ever-so-popular style "the mommy ponytail".
Incidentally, I did an inventory of the moms in Cole and Bella's class and most of them wear designer track suits and whatnot. They all wear their hair all cute-sy and always always always have make-up on (or stylish sunglasses to cover up their lack of).
How come they can totally pull off the whole sweatsuit look but I can't???
It must be about the attitude. If you feel good, you look good. And I guess that's the whole point of your post, right?
I saw some really cute sundresses at Kohl's the other day and Bella encouraged me to buy one. I should've listened to her!
I voted for Mason..what a cutie!
Can I wear my "work out clothes" and still be non-frumpy? I feel great when I actually do go work out and walking around in work out clothes gives me the illusion that I may have just gotten done working out . . . .
Oh crap, I just changed out of my 7 jeans and into sweats.
Guess I'll go back up and change again...thanks Shell
alex aka Ma
Sadly, I am still in my stinky Jazzercise clothes from this morning. Oops. Haven't showered yet, either. and I wiped Izzy's nose a few times with my tank top.
I totally agree! Everyday, I try to put on a bit of mascara and some "nice" sweatpants just so I feel better about myself. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing a tired and pale mommy looking back! However, this doesn't mean that I'm gonna wear a crisp white shirt, heels, and lipstick....I'm still a "sensible" mom!
I totally hear ya! I feel so much better when i actually get dressed. Right now it's 2:00 and i'm still in a tshirt and underwear.
I only own about 1, maybe 2 articles of clothing that make me feel anything close to mom sexy. So sad.
Love the quote! I don't know why, but I pretty much always get ready in 'regular' clothes and do my makeup, even if I don't have anything more planned than dropping off and picking up the girls. I really don't know why, but I know I feel better when I can go out w/o worrying about... well, I guess w/o looking like I spent all my time on the girls and none on me!
I am totally a mom frump! I need to do better!!
I dress pretty good at work if you count the fact we can wear anything we want so my entire wardrobe is jeans, shorts, t shirts, flip flps and workout clothes... I spend my time in the evenings in a cami and lounge pants I actually feel sexier in that than anything I guess it is the way HB looks at me =) I think Wal mart has some cute stuff and I think you are adorable Shell
oh you are such a MILF...girl!!!
If I don't win your book giveaway I am definitely buying her book!!!!
And of course going to vote right now!
Yes, it really does make a difference. I know the days were I really make an effort, i.e more than throw something on and do the two minute makeup, I feel more confident, more ready to do things and just all around better.
And hey Walmart sometimes has some really cute things.
SITS boy stopping in. Thanks for the comment!
THIS is the reason you can find me purchasing clothes for my wife. She almost always goes for function first and foremost, when both function and form can be integrated. She refuses to buy things for herself most of the time and...well, to put it lightly, I'm a bigger fashion junkie than she is. Amusingly enough, she almost always loves what I buy her and she wears it until it falls apart. This makes us both feel good and sexy.
And let me vouch for Wal-Mart, even if doing so freaks me out a bit. Coupled with a layer or two, one can assemble some super cute outfits for a song there. That said, you'll have to wade through some of the most hideous clothing ever stitched together, but gems can be found!
During the summer all I usually wear are easy skirts, sundresses and flip flops. As far as make up goes, I just out on mascara and lip gloss and that's it. It's too hot here in the summer to spend a ton of time primping, and I melt anyway as soon as I step outside, but at least my clothes look good!
And Wally World DOES have some steals!
I feel that way quite often too!
Hope you are out enjoying the beach today! :)
Mamma sexy is a good thing, wally world or not!!
Oh my, are us moms all the same or what? I totally agree. The days I put on a simple little $15 dress with flip flops and add in some lip gloss, I got my sexy back!
Good for you!!!! It's amazing how changing one thing can make you feel so much better!! I LOVE my sweats too....but sometimes even if I'm home by myself or just with the hubs I'll put a little makeup on because it makes ME feel better about myself!!
We need to remember to take care of US!!!
I am a big fan of the cheap sundress. I bought 5 of them at Old Navy last year for $10 each and I live in them in the summer. I feel a bit less of a frump and hubs loves 'em. He finally insisted that I throw away my very comfortable but he says unflattering gray sweatshorts. I was so sad :) I did only wear them to bed, though!!
Shell,
I bet you look good in anything, but you are so right, I feel better about myself when I take time with my appearance. Great post sweet lady! Still voting for Mason!!!!
You go girl. I usually buy Target sundresses, but I will take a second look next time I'm near a wal mart.
Laura B
I at least try to put mascara on each morning, but even that is pushing it sometimes. I have started to have some play/nice clothes. They are a bit too something or other for me to wear them out, but they're a step up from yoga pants and tee shirts at least.
I SO needed this today!! thanks so much!! Lately I've found myself with no makeup and sweats.... all day... every day!! :(
I'm not this way normally and I need to get out of my funk! :) Maybe I'll go find a new cheap dress from walmart too! :) YAY!! Thanks for the uplifing words!
I hear you I have to do the same thing! Working from home has made me loose a lot of my style. I do dress up for church :)
Shell this is awesome. You are right. Hell, I am in my pjs until noon or later everyday and THAT is just ridiculous. Nothing Sexy Mom about that.
Anything with an actual waistband the fastens - with a button, not a drawstring - help me feel sexy. I also like cute dresses. But I draw the line at wearing anything that needs to be dry cleaned - because it's a magnet for my toddler's sticky hands!
What a great post! You are so right! I went to Ross and got a cute summer dress to wear and I feel fabulous in it and really if you think you are then it must be. ;-)
You are so right. It isn't about money. Since having my nephew my sister has started wearing nothing but over-sized men's t-shirts (usually with holes or stained) and sweatpants. Just a simple pair of jeans and a clean top that fits would make her look great.
Wal-Mart may not be the fashion capital but you can find some great stuff. And you can't beat the prices.
I'm so guilty of the Mommy frump. Its laziness I know. I always feel better when I'm pulled together, yet I don't do it. I choose the extra sleep or the bloggy time! LOL
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