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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Parenting Do's and Don'ts: Part 3

It's time once again to share parenting wisdom from blogging mamas.  Parenting do's and don'ts that you can actually use.

DO let go of the Mommy Guilt. Comfort yourself with the fact that when your children are older, they won't even remember that you forgot about Pajama Day or went on a Girls Weekend.

DON'T let go of the day-to-day precious moments. The days may pass by like molasses, but the years? They FLY by.

Do take the time to listen to your tween and teen. Even if their requests and wants are outlandish (co-ed sleep over, iphone) let them present their arguements before you shut them down. You will validate their feelings. Even if they don't get what they want they will feel like you listened and their debate skills will be finely honed by the time they run for a senate seat in 2031.

Don't try to be a friend to your tween or teen. They don't need another friend and it kind of weirds them out. Even when they roll their eyes, stomp off, and scream "I hate you" they still love you and someday will thank you for the rules and structure you imposed. Your child wants a mother not a friend. So man up and mother that prickly tween/teen.

DO teach your children to say grace before each meal and give thanks before bedtime.

DON'T use the lollipop at the doctor's office as a standard reward. Your 2 year old will wake up every morning "sick" needing to go to "the doc-or" for some medicine and a "yoyipop." She may even tell you she has a broken arm and leg to try and get to go. Apparently being dramatic is hereditary. :o)
-Kate @ 567Kate

DO register for baby items and have a shower because you indeed need a lot of stuff to care for a baby. But...

DON'T worry about putting together the perfect little nursery because chances are you won't even use it that much. You will feed the baby wherever, you will change the baby wherever, and you may very well have the baby in bed with you. It seems better to wait until after baby arrives and you all get into a rhythm, as well as get to know your baby's personality, before really setting up baby's room. At first you only really need blankets, burp cloths, nursing and/or formula supplies, clothes, diapers and wipes. Lot's of clothes, diapers and wipes!

DO talk to someone if you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, anxious or depressed. You can get help, you don't have to go through it alone.

DON'T wait a whole year after your child is born to talk to someone about getting help. You will miss so much.
-Mungee's Ma @ Mungee and Me

Check out Parenting Do's and Don'ts and Parenting Do's and Don'ts Part 2 for more words of wisdom from fellow moms!

Have a tip that you want to share in the next edition? Email one do and one don't along with your blog url to shell at thingsicantsay dot com.

Don't forget to get those summer pics ready for Summer Fun Show-off happening here 8/8-8/15.  One of you who links will win a prize pack of games from Ubisoft worth $120. Three others will win prizes, too! Check out the Summer Fun Show-Off linky details. Button code and more details will be posted on Thursday.



Blogger tessica said...

perfect advice!
i esp love the do listen...even when the request is out there!
such an improtant "do"!

August 2, 2011 at 7:36 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

I love them all! Now if you can tell me an easy way to let go of the mommy guilt I would be golden! I've been trying to let it go for months!

August 2, 2011 at 8:11 AM  
Blogger Desperate Housemommy said...

Love these. Extra props for Heather about not friending your tween or teen. Love the heck out of them, for sure. But they need moms, just like we do.

August 2, 2011 at 8:32 AM  
Blogger LA Botchar said...

Some really great advice from some very wise women! Will remember that teen advice for when we have 3 in the thick of the teen years!!

August 2, 2011 at 9:27 AM  
Blogger Missy | Literal Mom said...

I agree with Desperate Housemommy and was going to say the same. I have a just turned tween and completely agree with Heather's DO and DON'T - very good advice for that agegroup. And the DO is not always easy! (listening to outlandish requests).

August 2, 2011 at 9:27 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

Great advice! I think my oldest sister needs to read about the tween/teen friendship. Sometimes you just lose sight of parenting when you are more their friend.

August 2, 2011 at 9:29 AM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Very good tips- especially about the nursery. I never bought or used a changing table- just a nice changing pad wherever we are in the house at the time.

August 2, 2011 at 9:46 AM  
Blogger Ali - My Suitcase Full of Tricks said...

These are great Shell. I really agree with the nursery one from Jen.

August 2, 2011 at 9:56 AM  
Anonymous Tammy @ Skinny Mom's Kitchen said...

I love these tips! My favorite quote here is "The days may pass by like molasses, but the years? They FLY by" that is so true.

August 2, 2011 at 9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoy this series and the tips. Today, I esp. like the "the days go by like molasses, by the years FLY by." SO TRUE!

August 2, 2011 at 10:21 AM  
Blogger BNM said...

I am already freaking out about the perfect nursery... maybe shes right I should just wait, bailey didnt go in his room for about 6 months!

August 2, 2011 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

I just love these posts. They always made me nod my head and smile.

August 2, 2011 at 11:21 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

The advice for the tween/teen is dead on! It's a hard time in the child's life and as a parent. Standing your ground...no matter how hard it is...and listening is vital! Thanks for sharing these! They are all great!

August 2, 2011 at 11:28 AM  
Blogger Courtney K. said...

I love these posts. I have to agree 100% with the baby nursery one. I wanted so bad to have a cute little nursery set up for our little guy...and we ended up never using it before we moved. What a waste.

August 2, 2011 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Hall said...

Yay, I'm so glad my DO & DON'T makes sense and was included!

I can also take the advice about tweens and teens since my daughter just turned 11. And the bit about how days are slow but years are fast is soooo VERY true! How does that even work??

August 2, 2011 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I love Heather and I'm totally counting on her to get me through the tween years.

August 2, 2011 at 12:01 PM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Excellent Advice as always... I'll have to try to think of something to email you!

August 2, 2011 at 12:40 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

These are great do's and don'ts that we may not think about. I like the one about teens/tweens. My oldest is going to be 8 and already approaching the tween phase. She already asked for a phone.

Thank you ladies for your advice and thank you Shell for sharing it.

August 2, 2011 at 1:12 PM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Great advice. Love the lollipop at the doctor's office. So true.

August 2, 2011 at 1:24 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I love this series and I'm not even a mom :)

August 2, 2011 at 1:28 PM  
Blogger Kristin @ What She Said said...

Oh, I just love the first one. I so needed to read both the Do and the Don't right now.

August 2, 2011 at 2:26 PM  
Blogger Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

LOVE these!

I especially love the "days go by like molasses but the years FLY by" I needed the reminder as we are stuck in the middle of summer with two boys who are sick to death of eachother and a baby who is tired of all the noise his older brothers create.

I also love the tween/teen do's and don'ts. Listening is definitely key, and I'm always telling my husband that our job isn't to be his friend, it is to be his parents.

August 2, 2011 at 2:44 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

These are great!

August 2, 2011 at 3:31 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Even though I'm not there yet, I like the one about teens/tweens. I'm gonna need a TON of advice when I get there! :-)

August 2, 2011 at 3:36 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Great quotes. These might get printed up so I can see them daily as a reminder.

August 2, 2011 at 3:40 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Thanks for including me Shell! I love all the Do's and Don'ts.

August 2, 2011 at 4:35 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Great tips!! I must say I bribe my children with suckers ALL THE TIME...oops ;)

August 2, 2011 at 6:10 PM  
Blogger Alison said...

All brilliant and useful advice!

August 2, 2011 at 7:17 PM  
Blogger KSK said...

LOL! Kate's don't sounds like she has had some experience with the lollipops! *Great advice from everyone!! :)

August 2, 2011 at 9:39 PM  
Blogger JamieAnne of A Dash of Domestic said...

perfect advice. Great post!

August 2, 2011 at 9:56 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I love the "let them present their wants before shutting them down" bahahah! So to the point! My kind of parenting!

August 2, 2011 at 10:51 PM  
Blogger Rach (DonutsMama) said...

I agree with not friending your teen or tween. We need to be parents first! And the first don't? Ouch. The days do feel like molasses, but today I told someone that Donut will be 7 months next week. Eek!

August 2, 2011 at 10:57 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

All such great advice! I love the first one, the days do feel like molasses, but the years? Fly by. Way too quickly!

August 3, 2011 at 12:51 AM  
Blogger Tracie Nall said...

So much great advice! The kind of stuff that the parenting books never share.

August 3, 2011 at 1:12 AM  
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August 3, 2011 at 4:21 AM  
Blogger Liz Mays said...

The best source of advice can often be from other moms! I guess that's why blogs are so popular!

August 3, 2011 at 6:38 AM  
Blogger Kir said...

I love advice from other moms, first because I trust all of you more than anyone and 2nd because it makes me feel much less alone in determining what I know and what I don't..

I just started Grace and bedtime prayers on a "DAILY BASIS" and I honestly believe it's made things just "nicer" like admist the whining and backtalk there is an element of "peace" you know?

August 3, 2011 at 10:19 AM  
Blogger Rebecca Dot Com said...

such great parenting tips! i love it- and I love that you do this :) thanks for sharing :)

August 4, 2011 at 9:12 PM  
Blogger Mungee's Ma said...

Shell, thank you for including my do's and don'ts. I hope they were able to help someone!

August 5, 2011 at 7:46 PM  

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