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Thursday, April 21, 2011

10 Celebrity Don'ts

When I saw one of Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompts for this week was to create a list of 10 celebrity don'ts, I knew I had to join in.  There are days when I sit at my computer, shaking my head at the celebrity nonsense that I see as I'm looking for stories for my job. 

So, here's my list of celebrity stupidity: you can click the links to see the full story on these celebrity don'ts. Yes, I wrote all those posts about celebrity nonsense and yes, some days, I feel like I'm losing brain cells for just knowing some of this stuff. ;)

1. Don't have your kids star in a reality tv show and then complain that the paparazzi won't respect their privacy like Kate Gosselin did. If you missed the fight with the paps the other night, you can watch it here.

2.  Don't wear a baggy outfit or forget to suck in your gut or someone will accuse you of being pregnant.

3.  Don't lie and say you aren't pregnant when you really are.

4.  Don't put Kate Moss's quote of "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" on baby clothing.

5.  Don't have a baby at 95. Just DON'T.

6.  Don't say the terrible twos aren't real.

7.  Don't have another baby just to stay in the reality tv spotlight.

8.  Don't tweet out that breastfeeding in public is disgusting.

9. Don't get a maternity concierge for your pregnancy.

10. Don't spend a million dollars on a baby nursery.



Blogger Barbara said...

Too funny! Is it bad that I *had* to click on every single one of those links...hmm?

April 21, 2011 at 7:19 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

Wow, ten, that had to be hard to limit it.

April 21, 2011 at 7:29 AM  
Blogger Joann Mannix said...

I loved reading this, Shell, just like I love your celebrity posts because I am a celebrity whoooore.

I don't understand why Kate still gets work. No one cares. Take your married bodyguard/boyfriend and your kids that will grow up and make their way onto Celebrity Rehab and just go away.

And here's the one not on your list, that I hate the most, Gisele. Big nosed, ignorant spewer of idiocy, is what she is.

And I tried to watch that new maternity concierge show, but what is up with that woman's voice? I could not handle it.

Great list. And now I'm late in getting my daughter up for school because of all these fabulous links.

April 21, 2011 at 7:32 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Oh no. I did all of those things.
Ok. I didn't. I didn't even know what a baby concierge IS.

I have to go back now and click those before I go to work and they are all blocked.

April 21, 2011 at 7:38 AM  
Blogger Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

A baby concierge? What the heck?

Okay, so I'm one of those people that lives in a hole and never knows what celebs are doing (blush). I'm horrified over the Kate Moss baby onesies. That's awful.

April 21, 2011 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I can't believe people did some of these. What is a baby conciege? If I had been a celebrity having a baby at 43 it would have been seen as normal.

April 21, 2011 at 7:51 AM  
Blogger Lady Estrogen said...

Oooh... I'm so not cool with #6 - coming from a mother currently of TWO 2 year olds. Grrrrr.

April 21, 2011 at 7:58 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Haha too true! And good advice for the rest of us non-celebs too :)

April 21, 2011 at 7:59 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Great list. I love #5. When I saw that story, I was thinking "What the hell???"

April 21, 2011 at 8:10 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Oh these are so true. I always laugh at the fact that any celebrity gives parenting advice. Their experiences are totally unrealistic and we, actually, should be giving advice to them or their nannies.

April 21, 2011 at 8:14 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

I still continue to wonder why people (especially celebs) don't need a license to procreate.

April 21, 2011 at 8:20 AM  
Anonymous Making It Work Mom said...

I guess unfortunately we think celebrities are supposed to be better than they are. But no they are just like the woman in the carpoool line who loves to spend money and share her parenting philosophies or the twenty something you work with who frequently pops off an opinion about things she knows nothing about.
The 95 and having a baby - that one is just weird and gross!

Thanks for the fun list!

April 21, 2011 at 8:24 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I would have amillion dollar house before I spent a million on a nursery. Seriously?? WTheck

April 21, 2011 at 8:37 AM  
Blogger Desperate Housemommy said...

Seriously? A baby at 95? How did I miss this?

April 21, 2011 at 8:50 AM  
Blogger m&msmommy said...

Great post! I'm not creative enough to think of 10, but I'd like to add one...


Celebrity from reality TV=Heidi Klum, Gordon Ramsey, Jeff Probst, etc.
NOT Celebrity from reality TV=Snooki, The Situation, Heidi Montag, etc.

Sheww, now that that's out there, I feel better! :)

April 21, 2011 at 8:53 AM  
Blogger Kir said...

I clicked every link and JUDGED each woman(so sue me ;) . ELLEN...the "Terrible Twos aren't real?" Hmmmmm....how about the "THREES?" I wish she could come and live with my sons for a week or so. ;)

great great list!!!!!!

April 21, 2011 at 9:04 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

Oh if only these were the type of parenting things I had to worry about. I love the celeb gossip because the ridiculousness of their lives makes me laugh! Some days I just need a good chuckle.

April 21, 2011 at 9:06 AM  
Blogger John said...

I find that I respect the celebrity of JD Salinger more each & every day sometimes.

April 21, 2011 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Wow...the 95 and having a kid...I really didn't that that was real and I clicked on the link. How unfair to that child is that? Pretty selfish if you ask me...I mean the mom might die tomorrow. UGH!

April 21, 2011 at 9:26 AM  
Blogger Samantha said...

Had to click on the person who said "the terrible twos weren't real"...like Ellen would know! And the threes are way worse than two, but two was bad too. Ugh...just like Tom Cruise saying that Post Partum Depression isn't real.

April 21, 2011 at 9:26 AM  
Blogger Cindi said...

Oh My, my, my! Guess this all just goes to show you that although money can buy lots of things (including a million dollar nursery) it still can't buy class! (LoL)

And dear Kate: If it wasn't for the paparazzi, you wouldn't even still be here! Ugh!

April 21, 2011 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger Michelle Pixie said...

HA! Too funny and too true!!

April 21, 2011 at 9:33 AM  
Blogger angela said...

But how can you limit it to just 10? LOL Unfortunately, I didn't have to click on the majority of the links to know what you were talking about!

April 21, 2011 at 9:49 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

Can we also talk about how famous (or rather, the INFAMOUS) parents of famous children need to to still parent, and to learn the word NO. Ahem. Dina Lohan.

Also, if ZSA ZSA Gabor and her ancient husband have a child, I will gouge my eyes out. That poor, poor child...

April 21, 2011 at 10:03 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Pretty much everything I would have said.

Get out of my head, Shell.

April 21, 2011 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

Lol! I could make Ellen a believer of the terrible twos. I will just leave my two year old twin boys with her and boy she will believe (if she survives) :-)

April 21, 2011 at 10:21 AM  
Anonymous Heidi Smith Luedtke -- LeadingMama said...

Does the mommy concierge deliver the baby for you, too, or do I need to hire a separate surrogate for that? CRAZY waste of money! What do these people plan to teach their children about money? Something painfully selfish, I suppose.

April 21, 2011 at 10:43 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I can't believe that someone had a baby at 95.

What is the right amount to spend on a baby nursery? I was thinking about redoing the one in my house and I had a little under a million budgeted. Should I change that?

April 21, 2011 at 10:57 AM  
Blogger Minivan Mama said...

Ha! Your #7 is a do on my list! Very nice.

April 21, 2011 at 11:02 AM  
Blogger MommyLisa said...

Nice ones...you are funny Shell.

April 21, 2011 at 11:02 AM  
Blogger TLF said...

Pregnant in Heels is one of my new fav tv shows, I love it!!

April 21, 2011 at 11:07 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Baby at 95!!!! WTH?

The only one I disagree with is the don't say you're not having a baby when you are, as I think they should have some rights to privacy too, and I'd have lied, as well. I think. ;)

April 21, 2011 at 11:08 AM  
Blogger KSK said...

I can't blame Zsa Zsa for wanting to have a baby... She's probably getting a bit senile... but who's the doctor??!!
Oh Kate... that lone 'paparazzi' was probably some guy on vacation when he saw a camera crew filming... I like how that guy ruined her whole vacation! How did she notice him with all of her camera crew people?!

April 21, 2011 at 11:17 AM  
Blogger Cheryl D. said...

Can I add to the list? Don't feed your 5 year old penis gummies! LOL

April 21, 2011 at 11:23 AM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

This is a good list, I haven't seen the Kate video, guess I better get over to see it!

April 21, 2011 at 11:41 AM  
Blogger Kristina P. said...

As someone who is an avid celebrity follower, right on!

April 21, 2011 at 11:42 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

I think all the stupid stuff they do is fabulous. Makes me feel better about my lack of, you know, everything on that list!

April 21, 2011 at 11:45 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Yeah, I don't know what's worse, doing it or tweeting about it. You just increased my loathing of celebrities even more.

April 21, 2011 at 11:50 AM  
Blogger Jane Bitch said...

Zha Zha needs a bitch slap. Seriously. I would slap an old lady for that one!

April 21, 2011 at 12:13 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Seriously, a becoming a mother a 95? You have got to be kidding me.

April 21, 2011 at 12:20 PM  
Blogger Macey said...

I plan on having a baby at 95. So??


April 21, 2011 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger Hutch said...

The Zsa Zsa story is beyond disturbing!

April 21, 2011 at 12:41 PM  
Blogger PBJdreamer said...

That Kate expects privacy for her kids is beyond comprehension.

Love the post

Baby at 95, I saw that this morning


that is all

April 21, 2011 at 1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That tweet about BFing? HORRIBLE. Is it bad that I hope she got some major backlash from that?

April 21, 2011 at 1:51 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I have to comment on Kate Gosselin, I have despised her ever since I started watching Jon & Kate plus 8 back in the day. I don't understand how someone like that can be famous and make money...it's disgusting. It's like a train wreck though, I can't look away!

April 21, 2011 at 2:27 PM  
Anonymous tracy said...

Oh my word - I love this list. I also cannot believe anyone still watches Kate. Yuck.

April 21, 2011 at 2:45 PM  
Blogger Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Fabulous list darling! Can't stand that Kate Gosselin!

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner

April 21, 2011 at 3:09 PM  
Blogger SharleneT said...

If Zza Zza has a 'surrogate' baby, and her estate matures (she moves on!), then he gets control of her money-- for the child. He's a gigolo who found a good thing and won't let go. Crazy as a loon and money-hungry. Kate needs to crawl back under her rock.

April 21, 2011 at 3:17 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

OMG! I did not know that about Zsa Zsa! That's insane. Wth?

And that Kate Moss clothing label? Sick!

April 21, 2011 at 3:21 PM  
Blogger Lindsey said...

Celebrities are seriously crazy when it comes to their kids.

April 21, 2011 at 3:44 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

bwahahaha!!! What a great list! When you start to look at all the dumb stuff celebs do....it starts to make their lives look less and less charmed!!

April 21, 2011 at 4:35 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

I completely agree on every. single. one!!!

Apparently celebrity = no common sense or filter?!? Great post, as always!

April 21, 2011 at 4:39 PM  
Blogger Kel said...

Love them! Don't have 8 kids and 3 nannies and say being a parent is easy.

April 21, 2011 at 5:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha! These are great! And yet...all of these celebrities still do this stuff ALL OF THE TIME!!

April 21, 2011 at 5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha! These are great! And yet...all of these celebrities still do this stuff ALL OF THE TIME!!

April 21, 2011 at 5:36 PM  
Blogger Midwest Travel Service said...

From one celeb junkie to another...LOVE IT!!

April 21, 2011 at 5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a fabulous list! I don't keep up anymore but this was great!!

April 21, 2011 at 6:04 PM  
Blogger Cyndy Bush said...

A resounding AMEN from me! Celebrities seem to have a contagious disease called Stupidity.

April 21, 2011 at 6:06 PM  
Blogger Maggie S. said...

Eeuh. #2 is so true. You can tell it was a slow made up news week when the supermarket rags feature "bumps" on anorexics with bad posture.

April 21, 2011 at 7:29 PM  
Blogger katsidhe said...

This needs to be created into pamphlet form and scattered across Hollywood.

April 21, 2011 at 7:36 PM  
Blogger Elena Wollborg said...

I love Kate at the end "some people don't value that privacy for us"...I mean, really? Leave it to Mariah to spend that much on a nursery.

April 21, 2011 at 8:17 PM  
Blogger Patrice said...

You said it, sister! visiting from Mama Kat's!

April 21, 2011 at 8:40 PM  
Blogger Tina @ Life Without Pink said...

OMG Celebrities are crazy! Who in their right mind would want a child at 95? Insane!

April 21, 2011 at 9:24 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

The baby at 95. Sigh. It just freaks me out.

April 21, 2011 at 9:35 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

LOL Can I add don't tattoo your man's name across your butt. Give it a year and a good bout of the stomach flu before you even consider writing that guy's name in sharpie on your body!

April 21, 2011 at 9:39 PM  
Blogger Carri said...

A million dollars on a nursery? Oy. Did you see the pictures? Totally overboard and not cute at all!

April 21, 2011 at 10:25 PM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Seriously... you can't make this stuff up!

April 21, 2011 at 10:39 PM  
Anonymous Sara said...

kind of impressed with myself that I knew ALL of these! Not bad for someone w/o an US Weekly subscription right??

April 21, 2011 at 11:43 PM  
Blogger Mrs4444 said...

omg. I didn't think Tori Spelling's cleavage could get any uglier. Guess I was wrong. That was gross. THANKS!haha

April 22, 2011 at 12:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I so agree! I will say that when you have a 2 year age difference between children - then you will have terrible twos. When you have a 3 year age difference - it's the terrible 3s. That was my experience:)

A maternity concierge? What's that? That must be a "I have money to blow" kind of thing!

April 22, 2011 at 12:38 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

It depresses me that people would have a baby just to stay in the limelight. Shame on them!

April 22, 2011 at 1:39 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That video of Kate is disgusting. She has got to be one of THE most annoying reality TV personalities EVER! I always feel bad for her kids. :(

This list was right up famecrawler alley, huh?!

April 22, 2011 at 7:19 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

I was wondering what happened to Kate Gosselin.. haven't seen her mug covering the front of magazines these days. Thought she dropped off radar (too bad she didn't). Are all these celebs for real? Oh wait they are because I live in a town where some crazy s&*! goes on and these are just everyday people. I don't need reality t.v. I just observe the craziness in real life!

April 22, 2011 at 12:13 PM  
Blogger Jenni Chiu @MommyNaniBooboo said...

Hallelujah! A baby at 95 is just all kinds of wrong. And also... thank you for keeping me up to date on the celebrity guilty pleasure gossip!

April 22, 2011 at 1:08 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Seriously. i always feel bad for a celebrity who eats a sandwich and gets accused of being pregnant.

please. i must look four months along to anyone after a good meal...

April 22, 2011 at 2:21 PM  
Anonymous Missy said...

Dude, seriously. I just read about Mariah Carey's nurseries today. Puh-lease. How about donating some of that to moms who have nothing?

I'll get off my high horse now.

April 22, 2011 at 4:54 PM  
Blogger Mommy Shorts said...

Holy crap. I have to click on each one of these. At the very least, I MUST KNOW WHO SPENT ONE MILLION DOLLARS ON A NURSERY!!!

April 22, 2011 at 10:47 PM  
Blogger Katie Hurley, LCSW said...

Some of this stuff is just so unreal. Thanks for the laugh!

April 23, 2011 at 12:52 AM  
Blogger Welcome To Mommyland said...

Don't talk about how busy you are raising your kids when you have a load of nannies following along behind you!!

April 24, 2011 at 7:12 AM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Yeah I forgot to suck my gut in today.. someone asked if I was pregnant. Let's just say I am motivated to work out now.

April 24, 2011 at 7:35 PM  
Blogger Good Company said...

Good list. I appreciate those stars who have children, but also accept the responsibility to personally raise them -- not to have a nanny because they can or are too busy.

April 27, 2011 at 4:41 PM  

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