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Friday, October 15, 2010

Put on Your Mommypants for This Week's Blog Friend Feature

I had a major blog crush on this week's Blog Friend Feature from the first time I went to her blog. From her unique title and tagline to her amazing writing, I knew she would be a favorite.  Wow, can she WRITE! There are bloggers and then there are those who are actual writers- and she's a writer. Real and funny, too.

Meet Cheryl of Mommypants.

I want to thank Shell for letting me ramble in her amazing space. I think I “met” Shell when she was the featured blogger for SITS and she is an absolute daily must-read for me.

You can imagine the round-off back-handsprings I turned when Shell asked me to guest post. Actually, I also had to imagine it too because last time I did a cartwheel to show off to my 5 year-old daughter I practically sprained my wrist.

Because I’m old. I’m old, and frankly, having little kids does not keep me young. It ages me more rapidly.

I did not intend to be an older mom. It just happened.

We all set a timeline for ourselves when we’re young, don’t we? We’ll meet Mr. Right at a certain age, we’ll get engaged, get married and have babies. In my case, that was all supposed to be accomplished before age 30.

And when I reached that magical age, I was single. And when I say single, I mean I hadn’t had a date in a couple years. I was like a camel in the Sahara, trudging along, looking for an oasis but seeing only miles and miles of sand.

I’m not quite sure what that means. Other than I had absolutely no prospects. To the point where my mother told me she’d given up on having grandkids. Thanks for the support, Mom! Apparently my unused eggs were rotting into a sulphuric mess in my ovaries while I galavanted around the country pursuing my career.


Then I met David. We got married right before my 33rd birthday. My first child was born when I was almost 35 and he was 38. We had our second less than two years later.

I then spent my 40th birthday pregnant with our third. When the baby was a few months old, I sat with him at our neighborhood pool and chatted with my (younger) friend. To whom I said, “When Xander is my age? I will be 80!!”

Eighty. The thought is truly bizarre.

In that way, I envy my younger friends who have kids the same ages as mine. Not that anything is guaranteed, but they will likely have the chance to see more of their kids’ lives. They might even be at their grandkids’ weddings or welcome a great-grandchild.

I see young, active grandparents and know that if our kids wait as long as we did to start a family? We probably won’t be able to enjoy the grandkids as much as we’d want.

Could we watch them at night so their parents could get a much-needed break? Could we take them for the weekend? Or will it be just too much for us by then?

I have done two marathons and two half-marathons and still get up at 5:30 a.m. to run with my friends. It’s not because I’m insane. It’s because I owe it to my kids to be as healthy and active as possible for as long as I can.

It’s not THEIR fault they got older parents.

But they also got parents who have LIVED. I’ve been on my own since I was 21. I’ve had a successful career as a journalist. I’ve moved - by myself - six times to different parts of the country. I’ve lived in New York City, something we should all do once. Been to Europe three times.

I’ve had other relationships. I’ve lost a parent.

So what I might lack in energy I make up for in experience.

Thankfully, love has no age limits.

Also? I promise not to tell my kids they’d better give me grandchildren before I’m dead. I mean, no pressure, guys!

It does sound like she has LIVED! Maybe that's why she has such a clear voice in her writing. Please leave her some comment love here and then go follow her fabulous blog if you don't already!


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Blogger Cheryl D. said...

Where did you find this hack?

Hehe! j/k, of course! I'm a follower of MommyPants and think Cheryl is great.

I wrote on this same topic yesterday. Damn, if she didn't write about it a million times better!

October 15, 2010 at 12:17 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

I love her writing stylen and I will have to go check her out! Awesome choice for a BFF!
I was just thinking about being an older mom the other day. I said I wanted to have my kids by the age of 30 and I did just that with the 2 I have but now I'm 34 and am considering more. I'm older than most of the moms who have 7 yr olds, but Cheryl makes it not sound so bad. If she can it do it so can I! Going to check her out now!

October 15, 2010 at 12:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am SO GLAD you featured Cheryl from Mommypants today!!! I LOVE her and she does write so well! I love what she said about experience. You never know what life has in store for you and really we all just have to roll with it.

October 15, 2010 at 12:43 AM  
Blogger shortmama said...

Love that...she has had a life before her marriage and kids and that is awesome!

October 15, 2010 at 12:47 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

I don't think I have ever read her blog...I have to go over and check her out...she is an older mom, just like me! :) lol

October 15, 2010 at 1:47 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Great post... I don't think I visited Mommypants yet, but I'm definitely going to check her out now!

October 15, 2010 at 5:54 AM  
Blogger Varda said...

Cheryl, how lovely to find you here and what a great piece. As a fellow (sister?) older mom I can certainly relate. And remember, I'm even older than you - had my twins at nearly 42!

If your kids have kids in their 30's I'm guessing you'll still have the energy to run around with the grandkids and babysit, but if your kids wait until they are 40? Hmmm, unlikely.

Not only are my husband and I quite older parents (not unusual for Manhattan, thank goodness) but we are also both the children of older parents. This meant that when our kids were born, their 3 remaining grandparents were all in their 80s.

Boy did we have "young grandparent" envy when friends would talk of leaving the kids with their folks to go away for a weekend. When they were babies, we ONCE left the boys with my parents for an evening - but only with a babysitter in the house, too, for back-up.

But you do know you're going to be one of those marathon running, yoga fit, "I can't believe she's that old" 80 year-olds, right? So maybe you could pull it off.

October 15, 2010 at 7:05 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

I think there are clear pros and cons for either scenario.

October 15, 2010 at 7:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never saw her blog before! I will have to check it out.

I agree with Oka - both scenerios' can have positives and negatives

October 15, 2010 at 7:59 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

I agree, Shell! I just became her newest follower. She has such an easy flow to her writing. God, if I keep finding such awesome blogs, I'm NEVER gonna get this house cleaned! ;) I'm such an addict!

October 15, 2010 at 9:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

awesome! I got married and had a baby young. 22 and 23 respectively. Now I would not trade my husband and kids for the world but sometimes, I wish we had experienced more of the world before kids.

And I am with you on the health thing. My parents are both gone. They were older (my dad was 48 when I was born) and lived very unhealthy. I want to be around for YEARS for my kids and their kids.

great post Cheryl!

October 15, 2010 at 10:19 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

Shell you seriously have the best Blog Friends! (ahem).

I've recently been reading MommyPants and she's such a great writer. Even if she's old (HAHAHA. Kidding!).

I had my first at 30. There was no 'magical age' for me because I never assumed I'd be a mom. How awful is that? I mean, look what my kids would be missing out on?

But it's true - I've lived some and lived less due to the age I started. I don't run marathons, but try to eat less lard. All for them.

October 15, 2010 at 11:01 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

My seventh was born on MY great grandmother's 103rd birthday. Never give up hope. Personally, I don't know if I want to see 103. Of course, I'm a jaded, pesimisstic person who believes the world is going to heck in a handbasket.

October 15, 2010 at 11:18 AM  
Blogger Ali@LastSplash said...

I love this post, and now will have to check her out.

I guess I am fortunate to be a "middle-aged" parent, having my first at 30. Hopefully I can have the best of both worlds. We'll see, right?

October 15, 2010 at 12:32 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

First, I ADORE Cheryl! Great choice! And Cheryl, I had no idea you were in your 40's! So keep doing what you're doing!

October 15, 2010 at 12:43 PM  
Blogger MommyLisa said...

Ah Cheryl - I just recently found you myself and am glad I did.

We have that married at 33 and babies later in life thing going for us. My dad even made a shirt for my daughter on my 40th that said, "My Mom is a Fab 40!" Butthead!


Thanks for highlighting her today Shell!

October 15, 2010 at 12:53 PM  
Blogger Joey Lynn Resciniti said...

I think it's quite impossible to imagine life 40 years from any age. We'll have flying cars by then, won't we?

I'm excited to go read this blog - it's a new one for me!

October 15, 2010 at 1:07 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hi there - first of all, Shell it's me (formerly Miss Welcome) at my new site.

And Cheryl, all I can say is our timeline is almost identical. Cheers!

October 15, 2010 at 2:53 PM  
Blogger Amethystmoon said...

Great choice! I, ofcourse, am a young mom of old kids, so I'm just starting to live, but I still like her style, and I'll go check her out. Thanks, Shell

October 15, 2010 at 2:53 PM  
Blogger mypixieblog said...

I LOVE THIS! Thanks for featuring another awesome blogger, Shell. You definitely know how to pick 'em :) I can tell by the way she writes (and what she writes about) that I'm going to love tuning in. Am going to hop over now and show her some love.

October 15, 2010 at 3:26 PM  
Blogger natalee said...

as usual Shell you always lead me to another great blogger !!!!! Im going to Mommypants to follow... thanks!!!!!

October 15, 2010 at 4:10 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Yay Cheryl!
The camel and the rotting eggs? My favorite part of course. All that running and jogging and owing it to your kids was my least favorite part. I need to get off my bum now, before you outlive me.
You always make me laugh, especially when you are being serious. It's a gift, to speak truth in a friendly way.

October 15, 2010 at 5:39 PM  
Blogger Paging Doctor Mommy said...

So excited to have found a new blog to follow!

October 15, 2010 at 6:28 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

OMG, I totally LOVE Mommy Pants!!!!

October 15, 2010 at 8:48 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

Oh! I like her a lot, and I am going to head over to her blog now.

October 15, 2010 at 9:21 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Thanks everyone! You have all made my day by showering me with all this love! And thanks again, Shell!! xo

October 15, 2010 at 9:43 PM  
Blogger Sherri said...

Shell, I adore Cheryl! Great post Mommypants. I like your perspective and the fact that you really have lived prior to having kids!

And I looovvveee that you're old like me. I won't run with you at 5:30am, but I will gladly buy you a beer sometime when I'm down your way!

October 15, 2010 at 9:49 PM  
Blogger Alexandra said...

Oh, I thought I felt old before, now I have someone younger than me calling themselves old. When she had her first baby, I hadn't even met my husband yet!

Yikes. Eggs in wheelchairs, is what I had.

Old as dirt I am, and dirt is old.

I love Cheryl, too, she writes like a dream, she is so nice and supportive, and she genuinely believes in making the world a better place.

She is a great feature here today.

Thanks for bringing us only the best, Shell.

October 15, 2010 at 10:00 PM  
Blogger Karin Katherine said...

How did I not know about mommy pants earlier? WOW...

October 17, 2010 at 10:50 PM  
Blogger Helena said...

Wow, she can write. That was amazing.

October 18, 2010 at 12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome guest post and great introduction to who you are. I definitley want to read more and am clicking over right now.

October 18, 2010 at 11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome guest post and great introduction to who you are. I definitley want to read more and am clicking over right now.

October 18, 2010 at 11:24 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Cheryl rocks! I swear I have a bloggy crush on her!! I'm so inspired by her amazing writing!!

October 19, 2010 at 11:28 AM  

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