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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Promised Motherbitch Post


I had been planning on writing this motherbitch post for you last week, but then Hubs had his car accident and I decided to pour out my heart in THIS post so that you could see that I'm not really a heartless bitch.

But, Hubs is okay, our truck has been replaced by the minivan that I have been begging for since we first found out we were going to be a family of five(2.5 years ago).  Yay for insurance!

But, I can now tell you the story behind the post-it about the girl who trapped her husband into marriage at 17 and was proud of it.

Last Monday, I hosted a book club for my moms' group. I'm a glutton for punishment and keep trying to find friends around here. Our book was "Not My Daughter" by Barbara Delinsky. I highly recommend this book. Thanks to Gina from An Unpink Life who sent it to me. :)

After I read it, I thought it would be good for a book club discussion because even though the story is about a group of teenage girls who make a pregnancy pact, there are a lot of themes that can be explored with it because of the way the story was told: how responsible we as parents are for our children's actions was a big one.

There were five of us and, as it happened, we are all the moms of boys-only. Though one of the girls has one, and the other three have two, so I was still asked how I do it with three boys. I simply raised my wine glass and drank up. Which may or may not have been the reason that I was tipsy post-it note posting last week....and why I ended up saying what I did to this motherbitch....

Anyway, it was a very different conversation than what you would expect about this book, since we were thinking about how this would affect our kids.

The girls in the story were using the boys, trying to get pregnant on purpose. And so I said, "And this is why I will teach my boys that girls are liars." Everyone laughed, but I actually meant it....

Fast forward to later in our discussion. We were talking about how scary it is to think about how common it will be for our kids to be having sex by the time that they are in high school.

And then Reindeer Girl(yes, that same girl and she even brought up the reindeer!), stuns us all into silence by saying, "Well, tricking my husband into marrying me by getting pregnant was the best thing I ever did."

She then went on to say how she never wanted to be anything other than a mom, so she saw no point in waiting. She even lied to him about how old she was(17 at the time and he was 23). And when her parents found out, can you say "shotgun wedding"?

And then this now 22 year-old motherbitch concluded her story with something to the effect of "I knew what I wanted and I did what I did to get it and I don't regret it at all."

No one knew what to say.

Oh, wait: when do I know when to keep my mouth shut? And, I'd had three glasses of wine by that point, so I pointed my finger at her and said, "And girls like you are why I'm going to teach my boys that all girls are liars."

I guess you could call me a motherbitch for my reaction....

But, really, what would you have said to her?




Blogger The Mommyologist said...

I would've said the same thing! Or maybe even something worse! Seriously...WHO DOES THAT?

March 10, 2010 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I cannot believe she actually admitted she did that and somehow thought all of you would nod your heads in agreement as if what she did was good.
And the fact that she is the same girl who freaked out over the reindeer is the icing on the cake.
Please tell me you had it prominently displayed somewhere in the house where she was sure to see it (preferably torn to bits or covered in sharpie marker!)
I would have said the exact same thing you did!

March 10, 2010 at 7:35 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Moreover...who does that AND ACTUALLY ADMITS IT??? I'm glad you said that...you're right...I have a boy and a girl who will most likely be going through that sex crap at the same time (twins) and I intend on being very very open with them. What did she say after that? She must have felt like a total douche...can I say that?

March 10, 2010 at 7:35 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

This is more common in the slightly younger generation than we want to think. It's sickening...

Worse, her parents gave her what she wanted with a shotgun wedding.

March 10, 2010 at 7:40 AM  
Blogger Adoption of Jane said...

What a Stank Ho!

March 10, 2010 at 7:42 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Who does this?!?!?!

There are just no words...

I guess I should start warning my 8 month old about girls like her. Just awful!

March 10, 2010 at 7:45 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Wow. Wow. It takes alot for me to be speechless. Wow.

I think I would have just had another glass or two (or four) of wine while I was thinking of something to say!

March 10, 2010 at 7:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would be especially hard for me to be nice to her. I'm very sensitive to this subject because I really did get pregnant on accident, and happened to marry while I was pregnant because we had the Marine Corps schedule to work around.

I grew up in a small town, and there's always talk. Some people speculated I trapped him. (There was no need to, we were already engaged and living together.) Others say we only married because I was pregnant, even though I'd had a ring on my finger for two years previously and we'd had a wedding date for that summer already set.

Girls like that make everyone scrutinize the pregnant young women who really did get that way on accident, and that pisses me off like no other.

March 10, 2010 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger Dumb Mom said...

I would have said nothing and talked crap about her w/BFF for days. I would have made preparations to recreate the conversation in her presence so that we could talk about it more again on a later date. But, that's just because I'm nonconfrontational and make it my goal to hide my motherbitchyness from the world. Anyhoo...here to direct you to my post for the day. I like to inform people when they make it onto my List of People Whose Legs I'd Like to Hump. Go ahead, admit it, you love me:)

March 10, 2010 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger Sugar Bear said...

I don't think I would have said anything...UNTIL she was gone and then I would have blogged about it..

I am always at a loss for words when it comes to responding to someone who has said something like this.

I stare.

I'm awkward. People probably talk about me after I leave.

That is just crazy that she did that. Crazy.

March 10, 2010 at 8:09 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Umm yeah, again I am left without anything to say.. which is not often...

March 10, 2010 at 8:12 AM  
Blogger Kel said...

Wow! That is crazy. Obviously people who do that, think very different than the rest of society. She apparently wasn't bright enough to realize that the typical woman wouldn't do that. Otherwise she wouldn't have shared. Her poor husband!

March 10, 2010 at 8:14 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Holy cow!! Girls like her scare me because in her head she was totally logical!

While I haven't told my 3 boys that all girls lie, (I tell them most do lol!) I tell them all girls and women are crazy!! To varying degrees, every single one of them! Some are over the top unbearably insane and others are mild. Just something they better get used to now.

I can speak from experience (my own craziness, and I have 5 brothers, each of them married no less than 2 times and to some of the worst motherbitches you could ever meet!

March 10, 2010 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger Danielle said...

I find it so terribly amusing and frustrating that after reading the book, and seeing the story from both sides on behalf of her child,, that she still cannot conceive of the deceit that comes with 'tricking a guy'.

That being said...any male or female having sex should really be both protecting themselves and their partners.. but of course.. that's not how it is.

Was this book the basis for the Pregnancy pact movie on Lifetime. I totally watched that and was stressed for all the kids and parents.

I think perhaps instead of teaching your boys to hate on girls (cause that might not be helpful in the long run and also may backfire on you),, to instead encourage them to protect themselves and be aware that the agenda of someone else might skew their statements. just like politics or religion or anything else...

March 10, 2010 at 8:25 AM  
Blogger Amy @amymchodges said...

I don't think I would have been able to let that one go past me. How stupid do you have to be to think that is something to brag about? Yikes

March 10, 2010 at 8:26 AM  
Blogger Jene said...

I would have said the same thing, and an f-bomb probably would have been included somewhere in my tirade.

It's people like that who give women a bad reputation.

March 10, 2010 at 8:44 AM  
Blogger ~Bry~ said...

Oh!!!! Holy crap! I would be totally speechless......saying alot for me!

March 10, 2010 at 8:51 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

I would have said the same thing!!!!!

My sister has a friend who did that....she was 17 and got pregnant. The guy cheated on her multiple times, left her, and now she's a HORRIBLE mother. Always leaving her child with babysitters and never spending time with him. We don't get it....she wanted a baby so bad, and now she's never around him!

March 10, 2010 at 8:59 AM  
Blogger Ducky said...

How amazingly selfish of this chick (I'm not going to call her a woman because she isn't). To not only admit to her actions but be proud of them AND to bring a child into a marriage that was coerced?

*shaking head* I don't know what I would've said to her but I'm sure I would've said something!

(I've missed your posts like this...not that your memes aren't fun too, I just really enjoy your topics and writing btw)

March 10, 2010 at 9:02 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

Wow! And the fact that it was Reindeer Girl makes it even worse!

I would have said the same exact thing, especially if I've had a few drinks.

March 10, 2010 at 9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would have done the same thing. How can she be proud of what she did? I gotta teach my son the same thing and teach my daughter not to be that kind of girl.

March 10, 2010 at 9:12 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Must agree with the other Jenn's comment ... what you said was right on, because if you had reacted the way I would have (slapping the idiot), you might have spilled your wine. And, we can't have that, can we.

Wow. What nerve. But, she is still just 22. While there are very mature young women and mothers out there, I have a feeling her age plays into her attitude quite a bit. Wait until a few years down the road and her 'trapped' husband is out doing who knows what ...

March 10, 2010 at 9:15 AM  
Blogger Rebekah @ Mom-In-A-Million said...

Holy shit! I probably would have sat there in stunned silence and made a mental note to go home and order a case of Trojans for my two-year old. Just in case, ya know.

What I'd love is to be a fly on the wall at her husband's guys night where he probably says "Dude, guys, I should have covered that sucker up because I am in Crazybitch HELL!!!!!"

March 10, 2010 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger Jules AF said...

Um, what?!?!? I can't believe she would do that and tell people!!!

March 10, 2010 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger For the Love of Naps - Sarah said...

My jaw hit the floor reading that. What did she say after you said that! Good for you! And I went back and read the reindeer story - HILARIOUS! I love that you have allowed your blog to be a place to vent about real life friends. I share my blog with friends and family so I can't do that without repercussions (probably spelled wrong). Driving for 6 hours today...and this post will pop into my mind from time to time - I know it will :)

March 10, 2010 at 9:26 AM  
Blogger T.J. said...

That is just shocking! Wow, I like to think some women aren't like that, but then I'd be just plain naive. Wow, well, I'll be following your tip with my own Bear and if ever I have a girl- well, on need to cross that bridge just yet ;)

March 10, 2010 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger MommyLisa said...

That is seriously f-d up. (sorry, but that is the only thing that applies)! She is CRAZY.

and you were right to call her out.

March 10, 2010 at 9:45 AM  
Blogger Tami G said...

Well first of all - GOOD FOR YOU for standing up! I think you said the right thing! cause it's true!

Second of all...yeah - not only who does that - but then ADMITS it to the point of bragging?!!! REALLY!???

Thx for this post - I had no idea this was a "thing" and as a single mom to a teenage boy - you better believe I'm sharing this with my son!!!!!!!!

GOOD Lord woman!
just awful....

Wonder if she'll come back to book club!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!

March 10, 2010 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger Leiah said...

Proof positive why some people should not be allowed to reproduce. This asswipe is going to go on and probably have a daughter that will be taught these "valuable life skills". Oh wouldn't it be wonderful if Karma made sure any son of hers married a girl just like the one who married dear old dad?

March 10, 2010 at 9:58 AM  
Blogger Kearsie said...


Thank you, Liar Lady, for being the example of what NOT to teach my two daughters to be like when they mature and begin making decisions.

March 10, 2010 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger CA Heaven said...

I guess we can all be liars from time to time, both boys and girls; if the advantage of being so is big enough. And for the "motherbitch" in your story, the advantage was big. I think your reply was a good one.

And about sex in high school: So what? Didn't we do that too? No problem, I think. We just have to teach them about the importance of condoms. In Winterland, school is responsible for that, fortunately. They learn about sex and practise putting condoms on in 10th grade (15 yo).

And about "shot gun weddings": I guess that's not a big deal anymore. Living together as a couple and having kids without being married is generally accepted now, at least in Winterland. I have several friends and relatives who have fixed this in a very practical way: Do the baptism of the child and the wedding on the same day. Saves one visit to the church too >:)

March 10, 2010 at 10:13 AM  
Blogger Sassy Salsa girl said...

Gag! That MB is really weird to be bragging about lying.
So her kid would be what four or five now?
I wonder if she has bragged about this to her husband. Wonder what he thinks about it. Hmmmmm.
I suppose the real question is does she and her husband actually love each other, are they actually genuinely happy, is their kid or kids happy. If so then good for them I guess.

PS-I would have wanted to say the same thing you did but I don't know if I actually would have.

March 10, 2010 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger Kearsie said...

Also, Liar Lady is the other girl, not you, Shell, because you're like Awesome Lady. Or Dancing Queen. Or um, Beautiful and Amazing Lady.


March 10, 2010 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger gina said...

probably something like and the fact your are pround of being a lying wh*^e shows how far you have to go towards growing up.

It amazes me how easy it is for women to dupe men though- wear a condom guys- she can't trick you quite as easily then and you might save yourself from a round of penicillian or worse...

March 10, 2010 at 10:26 AM  
Blogger Jessica Jones, ATL Mom of 3 said...

I prob would have said nothing...becaue that how I am but % def would have THOUGHT what you said...and would have DIED LAUGHING if I had been there (and had wine!)

I bet she wont be back...

March 10, 2010 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger Daisygirl said...

I've been staring at this blank screen now for a few minutes thinking about what I would say...I have no idea! Seriously how do you respond to that? There isn't anything nice you can say about it...although if it was a man, the male friends would give him a big ol high five for knocking up a 17 year old!
Especially after your book up for discussion is about that very same thing...men don't like to be trapped into anything I'm sure their relationship is just peachy!

March 10, 2010 at 10:46 AM  
Blogger Eternal Lizdom said...

W O W !!!!

To be fair, I think girls need to be taught that boys lie to get what they want, too. "I love you- let's have sex."

March 10, 2010 at 10:47 AM  
Blogger Joy said...

holy hell who admits to such a thing?

as a mom of a boy and a girl I got it coming from both ways and I am scared shitless!

March 10, 2010 at 11:03 AM  
Blogger Joy said...

PS maybe you should move to my neck of the woods. I to have issues in the friend department and I promise I am no motherbitch:)

March 10, 2010 at 11:05 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Micek said...

WOW is all I have to say about that!! I am glad you said something! Girls like that make us all look bad!! She needed to be put in her place...

But now that I think about it, I guess we all know girls like that huh!

March 10, 2010 at 11:09 AM  
Blogger tessica said...

so obvi' she's a ho ho ho merry christmas

but after reading this all i could think of (other than my admiration for your great response) was about how sad that will be one day for her children!

March 10, 2010 at 11:12 AM  
Blogger Elle said...

She's either really ballsy (umm...has big ovaries?) or really stupid, because who openly admits something like that?! Not only did she admit it, but she expressed her pride over it?? That's just unbelievable.

I think your response was absolutely perfect. I probably would've responded in exactly the same way!

March 10, 2010 at 11:24 AM  
Blogger Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

1) Good for you
2) They need male birth control to protect men from women like her.

March 10, 2010 at 12:18 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Hello! I am a new follower, and love your blog! I have a question... How do you get your buttons to scroll so they don't take up so much space? I love having the links on my page that I love, but am afraid I'll run out of space! If you would kindly let me know, it would be greatly appreciated! Thanks, and I look forward to reading your blog!

March 10, 2010 at 12:36 PM  
Blogger Kmama said...

LMAO!! I love it. Love it. Love it.

March 10, 2010 at 12:37 PM  
Blogger Samantha said...

Ohmygoodness...women like that should be smacked and placed in an institution somewhere.

March 10, 2010 at 12:40 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

Girls like that are the reason guys treat women so badly. I agree with you teach your boys that girls lie!

March 10, 2010 at 1:14 PM  
Blogger RN Mama said...

Wowie wow wow. There's nothing you can say, except "What's up Motherbitch! Thanks for the blog material!"

Congrats on your mini-van Mama status!

March 10, 2010 at 1:29 PM  
Blogger Jenny said...

I think I would have said the same thing....that is just awful! I feel bad for her husband.

March 10, 2010 at 1:49 PM  
Blogger Messy Mommy said...

That's hilarious! Are they happily married or does he hate her? :)

March 10, 2010 at 1:53 PM  
Blogger Lothiriel said...

WOW!! I WOULD HAVE SAID THE SAME THING!!! sorry for my caps, when i have baby with me i can't type well.

March 10, 2010 at 1:56 PM  
Blogger It's Always Something Around Here said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

March 10, 2010 at 2:02 PM  
Blogger Liz Mays said...

My love for you and your say it like it is attitude has increased tenfold! Somebody had to do it!

March 10, 2010 at 2:24 PM  
Blogger Momma Fargo said...

I think if she hadn't been saved by her then 23 year old boyfriend...she'd be a ho on the streets. Oh, wait...she is a HO! And an evil one at that.

March 10, 2010 at 2:36 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

My late husband used to joke around and say I "trapped him" by getting pregnant. It's ok...it was a joke. And my response was "Oh honey...don't you think I would have trapped better than you?"
But seriously...girls are like that...I could never do it!! And I didn't TRAP my late husband...seriously...I was 30!! Why trap someone then?? I was already self-sufficent!! (for the record, I think he trapped me...I hope he reads your blog from up there) :)

March 10, 2010 at 3:23 PM  
Blogger Jayme said...

I think I need to join your book club!

March 10, 2010 at 3:25 PM  
Blogger Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Hey...just wanted to let you know about your shout out for your awesome recipe!!!


Love ya,

March 10, 2010 at 4:12 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I would have said the same thing! I thank God my child is just now having a baby at almost 27!
SOME girls do lie and need their butts kickd for it.

March 10, 2010 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger danita said...

first of all, yay! about the minivan--i was going to say that now you could get one when you posted about the wreck, but i thought that would be less than sympathetic. but, yay! now, i'm picking my jaw up off the floor! what about freedom, independence, your own place, no rules, whatever? i mean, okay, maybe you don't want to become a rocket scientist, but, seriously, who doesn't ache to just get out there and see the world? i don't get it. and you're right. i will teach my kids that girls (and guys) are liars! :)

March 10, 2010 at 4:42 PM  
Blogger Froggylady said...

Wow. Just wow. I don't think you were a motherbitch, just telling your thoughts. Nobody wants to be decieved the way she did her husband. What kind of relationship can she possibly have?

As a Marine wife, I'm always warning the single guys about women like her, I just hate to see good boys mixed up with crazies.

March 10, 2010 at 4:45 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I still think this lady is crazy and needs help. I can't believe she just openly admitted to this. You and I have talked a little bit about this and I mentioned that I wouldn't want to go into a marriage without knowing if he truly loves me. He was trapped he had no choice, poor guy :-(

March 10, 2010 at 5:37 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

That is just so wild.. I guess i would have drank up and thought about how I wanted to teach my child. Right??

March 10, 2010 at 5:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She is the perfect reason we need to teach our boys safe sex! (I would say abstinence... but come on... I *know* that ain't gonna happen!)

March 10, 2010 at 5:58 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Good for you! Not that all us girls are liars but there are bad apples (like HER) as much as shifty, hormone-raging, careless boys. And I can say that because I have a boy. Not that MINE is shifty and careless. Ha Ha! :)

March 10, 2010 at 6:41 PM  
Blogger Yankee Girl said...

Cheers to you for being honest. I would have said the same thing.

My husband's mother tricked his father with getting pregnant and my husband was the result. Of course I am glad he is around, but what his mother did was terrible. Plus, when my hubs and I started dating his father warned him that I was going to trick him into getting me pregnant. It can be an awful vicious cycle.

The girl needs to be bitch slapped big time...and someone really needs to talk to her husband!

March 10, 2010 at 6:57 PM  
Blogger Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom said...

HOLY SHIT do people actually do that? Who, in their right mind, thinks like that at 17 years old??? I actually have a former "friend" who wanted nothing more to be a mother, and did some pretty good lying to convince her hubby that the time was "right", but even their story pales in comparison to this one!

Confessions From A Working Mom

March 10, 2010 at 7:58 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

OMG...WOW and she'll admit it, she's actually freakin proud of it?!?! That is exactly why that poor boy will grow up in a broken home, because that tricking will only last for so long. Now don't get me wrong, we have a blended family, neither of my children belong to my husband and he has a daughter from a previous marriage, but that marriage is doomed. What a motherbitch!

March 10, 2010 at 8:29 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

As soon as I saw the title to this post, I said "Oh, yes!" I have been looking forward to this! I can't believe that there are such horrible conniving women out there. And good for you, forsaying what you said!

March 10, 2010 at 8:37 PM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

I am going to go hug each and every one of my real life friends the next time I see them. Because ohmygosh there are some CRAZIES out there! I thought this post was bad enough, but I just read the reindeer one! YIKES!! Oh well, at least she gives you something to blog about! ;-)

March 11, 2010 at 12:01 AM  
Blogger Tam and John said...

OH! I didn't know that you and my sister in law were in the same book club! THANK YOU for saying everything to Reindeer Girl that I have wanted to say to SIL for 12 years. Girls are TOTALLY liars.

March 11, 2010 at 12:03 AM  
Blogger Shandal said...

Shoot, probably the same thing you did... it'd be hard to bite my lip on that one, especially 3 glasses of wine in. Eek!

March 11, 2010 at 12:21 AM  
Blogger Amber Filkins said...

Wow!!! That's insane!! I wouldn't have known what to say either!! I liked your response though. :)

March 11, 2010 at 1:15 AM  
Blogger adrienzgirl said...

And this is why I love you! Tell it straight up!

I can't believe she told you all she was PROUD of that. OMG!

Who wants to live their entire life wondering whether or not the person they are married to really loved them or felt obligated?

She is one of those crazy bitches that blames the other woman for her husband's infidelities. She would do anything to keep a man who wants someone else! Ugh!

Her Momma obviously never taught her self worth. Seriously? Who wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

You my friend are definitely NOT the Motherbitch!

March 11, 2010 at 6:52 PM  
Blogger Michelle @Flying Giggles said...

That was perfect! What is she thinking? Does her husband now know what she did, she seems pretty damn proud of it!

And you are right, girls are lairs.

March 11, 2010 at 11:34 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I would like to think that if I had been drinking wine I would have said something to her...and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be very nice.

That seriously pisses me off just reading it.

March 14, 2010 at 10:57 PM  

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