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Monday, January 25, 2010

Dealbreakers: How to be labeled a "motherbitch"

What are your dealbreakers?

Dealbreakers: how someone goes from a possible friend to being labeled a motherbitch in my book.

In case you missed the definition of my word:

I thought we could be friends, but then you...were not tolerant of any beliefs different than your own. Whether it's religion, breast v. bottle, political party, WHATEVER it is. Even if I happen to agree with you on your issue- I see the other side and have no problem with people who believe differently than I do. If you automatically write someone off for believing differently than you, well, I write you off for your narrowmindedness. Straight to the motherbitch category you go.

I thought we could be friends, but then you...acted like a child expert. It's okay to share what worked or didn't work for your child, but it is NOT okay to tell everyone that your way is the only way and that all children will take to your advice the same way your child did. I have news for you: my OWN three kids are so different that I have to use different strategies with each of them, so do not tell me that your way is the only right way to parent. You've now become another motherbitch post for my readers to laugh at.

I thought we could be friends, but then you...badmouthed someone else's child. Whether it was mine or some other child on the playground: who are you to judge someone's child based on what you happened to see for 30 seconds on the jungle gym? Do you know anything else about that child? Is your own child perfect? Add another 50 motherbitch points if you do actually think your own child is perfect. They are just kids; don't judge. However, we can now all judge you here.

I thought we could be friends, but then you...visibly shuddered when I told you I have 3 boys. Boys can be rowdy and difficult and certainly dirty. And no, I'm never going to get to have all the pink cutesy tutu stuff. But, they're mine and I love them. I'm the one who is taking them home with me, so you can save your shuddering for after I leave, please, motherbitch.

I thought we could be friends, but then you...were back in your size 0 jeans a week after delivering your third baby. Because I hate you for that.

Okay, okay, that last one is a total lie. I won't boot you to the motherbitch category automatically for that. I'm just jealous. But, if you talk incessantly about how easy it was for you to do that, I might just have to shove some cookies down your throat and call you a not-so-nice word.

Disclaimer: I realize I could be labeled a motherbitch for many reasons. People who live in glass houses and all that stuff...but my blog isn't made of glass, so I can have fun throwing stones here.

Labels: ,


Blogger Unknown said...

As a mom of 3 boys I am with ya on that one. And why comment on a child's behavior in public, ummm they learned it somewhere so question their PARENTS not the child.. and keep it to yourself as a rule... just saying cause I am sure someone somewhere thinks your kid is an absolute brat... and I will be the first to tellya mine ain't perfect lol hello they are BOYS it iwll be loud and usually obnoxious and filled with variou body odors.. but I love them anyway

January 25, 2010 at 7:37 AM  
Blogger Dual Mom said...

Ahahahah I love this post!

I have to be careful not to act like a child expert...and it's not really because I think I'm a child expert, it's more because I'm amazed that I have a 17 and 15 year old and that we are ALL still alive!

January 25, 2010 at 7:50 AM  
Blogger Adoption of Jane said...

Okay I had to stop at definition of a Motherbitch... log into my Facebook and make that my Status... with credit to you of course (only non motherbitches give credit)! I am laughing so hard I woke the kids! It was so worth it. This has got to be the BEST POST EVER!!!!

January 25, 2010 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I love the term motherbitch now. I have a whole group of them at my daughter's gymnastics class. They actually all stand around in a circle and gossip about everyone else just like high school.

January 25, 2010 at 8:15 AM  
Blogger Mae Rae said...

you are so right. blogs are not made of glass. it is necessary to throw a couple of stones here and there, shit sometimes it is necessary to throw BOULDERS! Keep throwing, it is one of the reasons i keep coming back.

January 25, 2010 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

I think you need to contact Webster and get motherbitch added to the dictionary! Another hilarious post as usual. The motherbitches I can't stand are the ones that are pristinely groomed and dressed to the nines at the playground (along with their children), and me and mine are dressed in t-shirts and sneaks. (I'm lucky if Miss H lets me brush her hair in the morning!)

January 25, 2010 at 8:29 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

LOVE it! Especially your disclaimer at the end. Awesome.

January 25, 2010 at 8:34 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

I love your spin on this. You described some mothers I've crossed paths with and I can't stand any of them!

Raising boys is a lot different than raising a girl, sometimes harder and sometimes not, but I wouldn't trade my son in for another girl any day!

January 25, 2010 at 8:44 AM  
Blogger Bethany said...

"Motherbitch" is my new favorite word! =) - Kind of like "but-her-head" and "clusterf*!#." It packs a punch - love it!

January 25, 2010 at 8:46 AM  
Blogger Ducky said...

*sigh* Thank you

I can't believe anyone would shudder at having three boys...I'd give the sun moon and stars to add more children to my lovely one and gender makes not a difference in the world!

January 25, 2010 at 8:54 AM  
Blogger Miss. C said...

Loving it, I take it you have met my husband's sister-in-law! lol!

January 25, 2010 at 8:59 AM  
Blogger Cole said...

Love it! I think I've met all those women you described. Plus "motherbitch" just might be my new favorite word!

January 25, 2010 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger Lothiriel said...

I'm with ya, on all the child stuff.

It's sad when people can't get along with others with different views than their own. Sad for them anyway.

January 25, 2010 at 9:55 AM  
Blogger mintifresh said...

I have never been a size 0 nor will I ever be a size 0, so I think we're good there! :)

PS-Girls are hard, rough and very messy, too!

January 25, 2010 at 9:57 AM  
Blogger Ash said...

I had to cringe about the comments about other kids - I'm guilty. But usually after I've known them for a very long time :-) Every child has a redeeming quality or three, right - I need to remember that more.

Sniff - I'm a Motherbitch!!

And the boy comments - oh the boy comments. Believe me, I make a mental note for the day when my two beautiful sons are old enough to date - don't go chasing that girl. Her mom thinks boys are wild and stinky.

Does holding a grudge make you an even bigger Motherbitch?

I'm going back to bed.

January 25, 2010 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

I wish that I could post about motherbitches, but the motherbitches who I actually know who actually read my blog seem to have a field day with it. Funny, I never name names, but they always seem to know who they are. Guess that's one of the many things that makes them motherbitches!

GREAT post!!

January 25, 2010 at 10:07 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That was FABULOUS!
I have to say I agree with you on every single dealbreaker on your list.
Especially the one about having boys...It drives me crazy.

January 25, 2010 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

I love this!!! :)

January 25, 2010 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger Eternal Lizdom said...

I have to admit to being a mom who does "judge" other kids. But not the way you mean, I think. More in the... what I've learned of them over a period of time kind of way. And it happens rarely. I generally love ALL kids. But from time to time you come across one that's just... well, you just don't click.

January 25, 2010 at 10:24 AM  
Blogger Alexis AKA MOM said...

I got rid of the glass house and moved to a stone one for this reason ... LOL

Oh yeah after baby #2 I'm far far away and last thing I need is some little cheerleader with her perfect metabolism telling me (who's struggled with weight since childhood) that's it's easy. Here I'll give you my metabolism for a week and see how "easy" it is ... LOL :)

Yup two boys here we can be put in the back room together! :)

January 25, 2010 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Wow I have use to watch a child and I saw her wild times go. I was so in shock and then I saw it when she was in her own home. I hope it is not mean when I say she is "wild" to my husband.. Oops..

January 25, 2010 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Love it! They are all so freaking true!! I also have to add that I know of one motherbitch in particular...she's mean to everyone--everywhere. She also goes from being a sweetheart to a bitch on two feet in a matter of .2 second.


I'd rather be friendless than be friends w/the motherbitches, haha!

xoxo and happy Monday, hun!

January 25, 2010 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger T.J. said...

Ahh, I love 30 rock and Liz Lemon's got a great platform for you here! Call em like you see em Shell. For the record, I never envisioned your house to be the type made of glass anyway, oh, and my son IS perfect. Just sayin. Happy Monday!

January 25, 2010 at 10:50 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

My blog isn't made of glass...love it!

January 25, 2010 at 11:32 AM  
Blogger Brandi said...

HA ~ I know a motherbitch (very well)... and that's all I can say. I'd have to create a blog like yours in order to discuss it further. ;)

January 25, 2010 at 11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm with you on all counts, especially the size 0. Sorry but I'm plain jealous too. I have 2 boys myself and no way the fit the motherbitch's descripts. Those motherbitches. Motherbitches. Sorry, I just like saying that word.

January 25, 2010 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Queenie Jeannie said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!! I'm going to have to INSIST that you make this a regular feature because you are so damn good at it!!!

And boys are great! Someone has to marry my Princess, right??

Queen Bitch to you!

January 25, 2010 at 12:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since I have 4 boys I get the "Oh- How do you do it?" and the "4 BOYS!?!?! OH. MY. GOSH." comments all the time. Like what, I should have just thrown one back? ANd Im sure there house full of girls is SO much better! LOL

January 25, 2010 at 12:33 PM  
Blogger MommyLisa said...

Shell, another awesome post! People can be so freakin' rude!

January 25, 2010 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger Momma V said...

I hear you on the shudder when you mention you have 3 boys. I have four boys and while I think a girl would be fun, I love my boys the way the are and I wouldnt trade any of my four boys for the world!! So dont act like having four boys is a disease!!!

January 25, 2010 at 1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol, god they are motherbitches.

January 25, 2010 at 1:08 PM  
Blogger Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom said...

Haha, I love when you go off on a "Motherbitch" tangent... always cracks me up.

Hmmm, let's add this one too:

You might be a Motherbitch if... you talk about me behind my back to my own friends!

Confessions From A Working Mom

January 25, 2010 at 1:27 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Awesome post! Made me think I hope I don't fall into any of these categories... and I think I am safe.. and you can bet I am sure going to try and be now :)

January 25, 2010 at 1:58 PM  
Blogger Liz Mays said...

I love that your blog isn't made of glass! Throw down those rocks on the motherbitches!

January 25, 2010 at 2:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love this post!

January 25, 2010 at 2:49 PM  
Blogger Foursons said...

Oh my gosh,I am cracking up girl! I think I know all who you speak of in this post. And maybe we can sabotage those size 0's like on Bride Wars. Hmmmm....

January 25, 2010 at 3:10 PM  
Blogger Claremont First Ward said...

Anyone that gets back into their size 0 jeans a week after giving birth is not allowed to be my friend either. :)

January 25, 2010 at 3:52 PM  
Blogger Twincerely,Olga said...

I love that definition!!!I can't beleive someone did that about your boys!! I guess i will have to update my own list!! Haha!!Love your blog!!Hows the beach today?

January 25, 2010 at 4:07 PM  
Blogger Adoption of Jane said...

K stalking this page today... had to come back to laugh again!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

January 25, 2010 at 5:05 PM  
Blogger Vodka Logic said...

omg dont we all know someone like that. I hate them too...

Great post and with humor thanks

January 25, 2010 at 5:16 PM  
Blogger Amy @ Marvelous Mommy said...

omg I can't stand when people try to tell me how to raise my child or that I should do this or that. Even my mom. LOL. If I want advice, I'll ask for it.

January 25, 2010 at 5:45 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Oh no....talking about others kids. Deal breaker!!

January 25, 2010 at 6:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love, love, LOVE this post. I want to send it to so many people! My sister in law wouldn't "get it" though; it must be tough for her having such perfect kids...

January 25, 2010 at 7:43 PM  
Blogger Desert Rose said...

Size 0...shooooot, that's sick and wrong!

January 25, 2010 at 7:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha! I agree with all of them, even the last one.

January 25, 2010 at 9:11 PM  
Blogger Bibi @ Bibi's Culinary Journey said...

Lived through 1 and 3. Agree on all counts.All of them would be a Deal Breaker for me.

You left out the new size 00 that is staring at me and mocking me in every boutique

January 25, 2010 at 9:14 PM  
Blogger Sarah at The Stroller Ballet said...

I can be labeled a motherbitch for certain things...I'm sure. But I do really hate all of the things you outlined. Especially people who act like "child experts". Frustrating!!!

January 25, 2010 at 9:26 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Seriously, someone *shuddered* when you told them you have three boys?! Do I need to come down there and bust some heads? AND shove cookies down an anorexic throat? Cuz I am so there.

January 25, 2010 at 9:59 PM  
Blogger J.J. said...

New to your blog!!!! Love it! I love that word! Perfect! I was holding my sleeping baby at a hubby work family function and a "motherbitch" came up to me and told me that I would get the hang of it in no time. She has 2 kids...ages 5 and 2. I have four. At the time their ages were 4 months, 2, 4 and 5. Did I mention that my baby was sleeping? Motherbitch. hee hee. I feel such a release of stress just saying it.

HAve a great evening!

January 25, 2010 at 10:15 PM  
Blogger prashant said...

it must be tough for her having such perfect kids...

Work from home

January 25, 2010 at 10:17 PM  
Blogger CrazyAssMomma said...

i freaking looooooooooove that term motherbitch.


January 25, 2010 at 10:37 PM  
Blogger Serenityville said...

Ra to you for calling people out. I used to be a totally judgemental non-mother bitch, even though I could also see the other side most always...I just tended to judge early and harshly. But now I'm older and, well, let's face it, perfect, and keep my quick judgements to myself, and process them later, where I realize they were usually my own issues working themselves out anyway.

January 25, 2010 at 11:21 PM  
Blogger Shannon K. said...

I always said if I had to have all the same sex children, it would be boys. Of course, I don't have all the same sex children, but if I did, I would still say boys. I would never trade my daughter for anything, but holy hell, she is a piece of work.

Oh, and on the parenting advice, I am the same. My kids all have different things that work for them. I was told to read this specific book before Addyson came, and if I followed it, all would be daisies. Apparently Addyson didn't read the book.

January 26, 2010 at 12:28 AM  
Blogger Sassy Salsa girl said...

I'll give you a hint.
It was a Shannon Hale book. :D

January 26, 2010 at 12:34 AM  
Blogger Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma said...

I get those "three boys?!" comments all the time. I completely agree too that each one is different and what works for one won't for another. Oh, I would like to add to the motherbitch category the women that assume my children are friends and not brothers, or that I have kids with different daddies, simply because my husband's hispanic genes completely took over one childs body and my genes took over the the other two. I assure you, the oldest is mine too - I watched him pop out!

January 26, 2010 at 4:19 AM  
Blogger Corrie Howe said...

I enjoy reading your observations of different kinds of mothers and how catty we can be towards one another. But at the same time, I'm sad about it.

January 26, 2010 at 10:59 AM  
Blogger Helene said...

You find the most awesome memes!! I'll have to remember this one!

With that said, I love this post. And you are so right about many of those. When moms at the park find out I have 2 sets of twins (3 boys, at that) they give me a sad face. I even had one mom say "please accept my condolences" and then she and her motherbitch friend laughed as if I would find that funny. It all worked out since I got to have a good laugh when her daughter ended up with a bucket load of sand in her hair and she freaked out screaming at her daughter, "Now I'm gonna have to give you another bath when we get home".

January 26, 2010 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger Michelle @Flying Giggles said...

You so hit it on the nose with the mothers who feel their way works and no other way will do. Clueless!

January 27, 2010 at 1:58 AM  
Blogger Shandal said...

I hear ya about the child expert friend and the one that bad mouths other kids. Not cool!

January 27, 2010 at 2:10 AM  
Blogger Robyn Lee said...

Haha, AWESOME!!! Thanks for this post, I couldn't agree more!! : )

January 28, 2010 at 1:54 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

SHIT Shell! When didn you get so freaking popular??? I thought we were the cool kids who skipped class and smoked under the stairs...
just kidding (kinda)

January 29, 2010 at 12:28 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

This was about the funniest thing I have read in a really, really long time. It is all so true! I have another one, I hate it when women criticize other moms behind their back, to me, another mom! Who are any of us to judge actions of other moms? Some of the things moms have criticized other moms for I am totally guilty of, so what does that make me to them?
Great post!

January 29, 2010 at 7:03 PM  
Blogger Amber Page Writes said...

I headed over here from The Mommyologist, and I'm glad I did. I'm going to follow now! There's a size 0 motherbitch at my work who is, one of these days, going to get my heel shoved down her dainty little throat...

January 30, 2010 at 9:28 PM  
Blogger Babe_chilla said...

Great list! I know a motherbitch or two myself ugh!!!

Found you through The Mommyologist. Fun fun fun!!!

January 30, 2010 at 10:00 PM  
Blogger Elise Sara said...

OK, I was with you until the not judging other peoples children part. I try. I do. But I had 27 girls here yesterday for my daughter's birthday, and well. There are a few I just don't LIKE. I know. I am terrible. Do you hate me? ;) I know it is there parent's faults though, does that make it any better? Just keeping it real here. Nice to meet you!

January 31, 2010 at 8:38 AM  
Blogger Crazed Mama said...

Love it! I have a mega mama bitch in my circle, keep praying her husband get's transferred.

January 31, 2010 at 12:25 PM  
Blogger CalgaryDaddy said...

Too Funny! Just found your site and I am glad I did!


January 31, 2010 at 10:58 PM  
Blogger WNY Kitchen and Bath said...

YES!!! YES!!! OMG I had a major run in with a motherbitch this weekend and I want to boot her soooooo bad but...she is my hubby cousin...

Love these posts!

February 1, 2010 at 7:26 AM  
Blogger Crystal Escobar said...

haha, I loved it! I agree with you there :) Enjoyed reading that :)

May 10, 2010 at 3:14 AM  
Blogger Simoney said...

This is very very funny. I couldn't quote you on my regualr blog (for all the reasons you started this anonymous blog, i.e. FAMILY read it) BUT you are one funny lady. Specially loving the Size 0 jeans one... erm, make mine even a size 12. I'm STILL jealous.
Anyhoo, I'm visiting on your SITS day... and gald I did. I think I'll follow you cos you look like FUN.

May 10, 2010 at 3:41 AM  
Blogger Holly Lefevre said...

When I lived in so cal...we went to school with a lot of motherbitches. I always knew they were...but you gave me a good word for them.

May 10, 2010 at 3:50 AM  
Blogger Karen and Gerard said...

You make some good points. Personally, I'd prefer boys to girls any day. No shuddering from me.

Congrats on your SITS day!

May 10, 2010 at 6:18 AM  
Blogger No Longer 25 said...

Haha, I can think of a few of these! Great term, I'm going to try not to call anyone that to their face though!

May 10, 2010 at 6:18 AM  
Blogger LisaDay said...

People actually shutter after you say you have three boys. That's just weird.

Happy SITS day.


May 10, 2010 at 8:39 AM  
Blogger NatureMama said...

I love it! We all run into these moms from time to time. It feels great to read your post, which is exactly what I think when they're talking to me!

May 10, 2010 at 9:15 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Does the shuddering count - if I have 3 boys under 9 myself? I love this post! Have a great SITS day! :)

May 10, 2010 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger Grace Adams said...

I'd always just called them the Stepford, but I like "Motherbitch" so much better.

May 10, 2010 at 9:38 AM  
Blogger Tractor Mom said...

Happy SITS Day!

I have the boys too--2 I birthed, one I married!


May 10, 2010 at 9:44 AM  
Blogger North of 25A said...

I KNOW we could be friends! And I have just expanded my vocabulary.

May 10, 2010 at 9:49 AM  
Blogger LA @The Reel Family said...

OH MY I LOVE YOU! No seriously I say same the things a lot and I am so lucky to have some of these as family. Its awesome.

May 10, 2010 at 10:21 AM  
Blogger Carrie said...

Great post! I have definitely run into some motherbitches in my almost 4 years of being a mom :)

Happy SITS day

May 10, 2010 at 11:23 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

hehe...I have met many motherbitches in my life, a sub-class of which are the "spandex mommies" at my children's school. Oy - totally the mean girls, now with kids and botox!

May 10, 2010 at 12:19 PM  
Blogger Young Wife said...

Stopping by from SITS. Shuddering when you say you have 3 boys? WOW. Rudeness.

May 10, 2010 at 12:48 PM  
Blogger Patricia said...

*LOL* love the list. Although somedays I'm afraid I might fall in the motherbitch category.... I'll leave you guessing where. ;)

May 10, 2010 at 1:27 PM  
Blogger Ma What's 4 dinner said...

I still hate the motherbitches in the size 0 jeans 1 week after delivery!! Let's hear it for 3 boys!!


May 10, 2010 at 1:28 PM  
Blogger Liza said...

I love "motherbitch." They are everywhere around here. Particularly the not-so-tolerant kind. LAME!

Happy SITS Day!

May 10, 2010 at 1:52 PM  
Blogger Nicole @ WhenDidIBecomeMyMom.com said...

Oh my gosh - new fave word. Perfect! :-)

May 10, 2010 at 2:05 PM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

This was funny and I totally needed it today. Thanks!

May 10, 2010 at 2:55 PM  
Blogger Rachel Valencourt said...

You said it, sister! Can't stand those size zero bitches...Ha ha. I call them elastic moms because they snap back so quickly after pregnancy. Wish it were me, guess I'll have to live with my usual sized seven self.

May 10, 2010 at 4:22 PM  
Blogger Eliz Frank said...

You crack me up... Have a great week!
Happy SITS Day!
My Main Blog:

May 10, 2010 at 4:47 PM  
Blogger Heidi Walker said...

I am totally with you on the intolerance one. You do not want your kids to be around narrowminded people.
Hindering their gorwth and exploration via exposing them to someone like that is just silly.

Of course they are a good example of what not to be like. :-)

May 10, 2010 at 4:57 PM  
Blogger The Dutch Girl said...

I am adding "motherbitch" to my vocabulary! I know just who you mean...

Happy SITS Day! Enjoy the comment love today.

May 10, 2010 at 9:02 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh, I hope I am never any of those things to any other mother! I've been on the receiving side, ugh!

Stopping by from SITS! I could use some "boy" advice! I have two (3 and 18 mos). Good grief!! They try my patience but I love them so much! Yay for boys!

May 10, 2010 at 9:50 PM  
Blogger mama of 4 said...

Bwahahahaha so true!
I am a mama to 4, two boys and 2 girls... My boys are soooooo much easier! LOL I love messy little boys :)

May 10, 2010 at 10:37 PM  
Blogger toulouse said...

Oh, I am so with you on the judgement. If there's anything I hate in this world, it's judgement. People should just live and let live.
I would love it if you dropped by my blog sometime! www.toulouseandtonic.com
Keep it up! And I'll keep reading.

June 11, 2010 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I don't shudder, I am in awe of you!

August 9, 2010 at 5:28 AM  
Blogger K said...

I LOVE it!! Nearly all of them, I can relate to, funny enough, its all the 1 person though.

December 29, 2010 at 7:40 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Bahhaaa!! I've never read this. Too funny!

December 31, 2010 at 10:37 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Does your awesomeness never cease?!?! This post rocks! I know several motherbithes and man do they get under my skin! Great post! And yes, those w/o boys shudder when I save I have 4 boys...and I hate it...kinda makes me want to slap em!!

December 31, 2010 at 3:31 PM  
Anonymous Diapers and Stilettos said...

OMG, the child experts drive me CRAZY! Why do some women thrive on making other women feel like they are crappy mothers?!

November 27, 2011 at 7:40 PM  

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