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Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Mommy Wars: What Really Matters

You've probably heard all the sides.

Breast vs. Bottle

Stay-at-home mom vs. Working Mom

Cosleep vs. Baby in a crib from the start

Disposable diapers vs. Cloth

Public School vs. Private School vs. Homeschool

Whether you practice attachment parenting or not, allow your child to have binkies and lovies or not. When you potty train. When you start school. Tv or no tv.

And the list goes on and on.

This morning, I'm calling for an end to all the b.s.

Really, I don't care what you choose.

Your child, your family, your decision.

Here's what matters:

Is your child healthy?

My heart is breaking this morning, thinking about some sick little ones.

Like Jaden(click his button over there on the right, if you don't know his story), who is just 2 and fighting like a champ. (Also, see Supah's site to participate in the awesome auction she is putting together to help his family)

Like my cousin's newborn, 7 days old and in the NICU, awaiting the heart surgery that he will have tomorrow afternoon.

THAT is what matters.

Not any of the little choices that we make.

Choices that we think make or break our children's lives and that we tend to turn into wars with "our" side and "their" side and thinking we are the ones in the right.

Who freaking cares?

Is your child healthy?

Go give your babies a squeeze, look into their faces, and see what really matters.

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Blogger Melissa B. said...

OK, I think researchers should do a case study on my family. I breast fed Ella Numera Una. She was a sickly child, has allergies and still comes down with some creative illnesses, even in her "old age." Ella Numera Dos was strictly bottle-fed. Other than colds, she's been really sick, perhaps, twice in her life...SITS sent me by, and I'm glad they did!

Not the Brightest Crayons in the Bunch

November 22, 2009 at 8:16 AM  
Blogger Debbie said...

Dropping by from SITS.
I think we have these wars because we are so afraid we haven't done as well as the next gal. But you are so right. It is time to put it all into perspective.

November 22, 2009 at 8:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, I've always wondered why so many mothers get their panties in a bunch over this stuff. No one person on this planet is like another...the only thing you should be concerned about as a mother is what works for you and your family--because what is right for you is the right way to do things. You are spot on!

November 22, 2009 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger adrienzgirl said...

Health and happiness. That is ALL that really matters for sure! Great Post Shell!

November 22, 2009 at 12:09 PM  
Blogger Sandy said...

Amen! I could not agree more! Healthy, happy kids are what's most important!

Stopping by to welcome you to SITS! It's great to have you in the SITStahood!

November 22, 2009 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger Just Lisa said...

Agreed! Really, who gives a rat's pattooie?

I came by to welcome you to SITS! We're happy to have you with us!

November 22, 2009 at 12:52 PM  
Blogger The Redhead Riter said...

VERY TRUE! I will pray for your cousin's baby.♥

November 22, 2009 at 1:29 PM  
Blogger Carma Sez said...

Very well said - and even older ones still like a squeeze every now and then and to be told they are loved :-)

Welcome to SITS. I know that you will enjoy being a part of this vibrant community of bloggers.

November 22, 2009 at 1:39 PM  
Blogger Chief said...

I agree with you totally but I will say that women in general are not very nice to each other. We tend to compete with each other, making each other feel guilty for our choices when we should band together and lift each other up.

*stepping off soapbax

November 22, 2009 at 1:40 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

You are so right. Thanks for saying it all so well and waking us up!

November 22, 2009 at 3:12 PM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

I couldn't agree with you more! Moms spend way too much time trying to compete with one another instead of just being happy that they have healthy children. I look at my son every day and realize just how blessed I am. I may not be a perfect mother, but he's happy and that means I'm doing something right! Thanks so much for your comments on my posts. I really appreciate the support and I love your blog!

November 22, 2009 at 3:22 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

You are right! As mommies we need to support and encourage each other and above all we need to be thankful for the blessings of our little healthy ones! Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier today also!

November 22, 2009 at 4:58 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Amen sista! I'm so glad that you said that. We really need each other for support instead of judging each other. I came by from SITS to say "welcome" and that we're so happy you joined us! The Secret is in the Sauce is a wonderful and crazy group, you'll love it.

November 22, 2009 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger Evonne said...

Great post! A lot of moms seem to think that their way is the right way and if you do something different, you're wrong. It's annoying!

Happy and healthy should be the focus, not the road you take to get there.

I hope all goes well with your cousin's baby.

November 22, 2009 at 7:32 PM  
Blogger Becky @ Babes in Hairland said...

You hit the nail on the head. You're so right. If everyone could just get over what the person next to them is doing and concentrate on what's really important, the world would be such a better place. Hope your cousin's baby will be ok. Stoppin by from SITS to welcome you aboard.

November 22, 2009 at 7:36 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

Thanks for all the support and anyone who is praying- THANK YOU!

Really, why can't we as women support each other? We do tend to judge. So annoying...and I know, I do it, too. I'm going to work on that.

None of that b.s. matters.

November 22, 2009 at 8:24 PM  
Blogger AiringMyLaundry said...

I totally agree with you.

All I care about is if the child is healthy. That's all. I prefer to support other mothers--because this job isn't easy, we all can use all the support we can get.

November 22, 2009 at 8:49 PM  
Blogger Brandy said...

Just dropping by to welcome you to SITS! And I couldn't agree more. At the end of the day that's all that matters.

Thanks for the reminder.

November 22, 2009 at 9:29 PM  
Blogger Mandee said...

Great post! I completely agree with you on this one!

November 22, 2009 at 10:26 PM  
Blogger MommyLovesStilettos said...

I completely agree. I don't even read blog posts anymore that are anything remotely close to bringing on a mommy war. It's annoying and ridiculous. I can honestly say that I don't care how anyone else raises their child. I take care of mine and we do what works for us. That's all that matters in my mind.

November 23, 2009 at 10:08 AM  
Blogger MommyLisa said...

I agree - but sometimes you see someone do something so strange...like keep their kid in a playpen and let the dogs run wild...that you comment amongst your friends.

I am not proud of it, but we all do it!

Gossip makes the world go 'round!

November 23, 2009 at 11:34 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

This is a beautiful post. You totally hit the nail on the head!

Stopped by from SITS to say hi and welcome.

November 26, 2009 at 9:15 PM  

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