< Things I Can't Say: Hypocritical

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Sunday, October 25, 2009


Oh, how hard this is for me to admit.

I really wish it were not true, since I don't like this about me.

I don't mean to be a hypocrite.

But, I've realized how much of one I really am.

Don't judge me, I will protest. You don't really know me.

And yet...

I hear stories about people.

Or witness things that they do.

And I judge.

I know I shouldn't.

That the tiny little glimpse that I see or hear about...

It isn't really who someone is.

That maybe I just saw them at their worst moment.

Maybe what I saw is something that they have never done before and have never done since.

Maybe it was a fluke.

Maybe I don't know the whole story.

I was sitting in church today when a woman walked past me to take her seat...and what popped into my head was oh, that's that slutty girl.

Really. Nice, huh?

Just because 2 or 3 years ago, at a moms' night out that I didn't even attend, my friends told me that she got drunk off her ass, flirted with all the guys around her, and then went home with some guy who most definitely was not her husband.

Do I know anything about what was going on in her life at that time? No, not at all.

Do I even know what is happening now? Nope.

But, I let one mistake that she made color my opinion of her.

I've done some stupid-ass stuff in my life.

And if someone were to judge me based on one of those moments, I'm sure they could come up with some charming labels for me.

I want to teach my kids not to judge.

That, unless they are actually in someone else's exact situation, they don't really know what is going on.

That they can't know how they would react in that situation.

That there could be so much going on that we don't know about.

I don't want them to judge others.

To be accountable for their own actions and to realize that everyone makes mistakes...

Mistakes that I hope don't have terrible lasting consequences and that people will not judge them by these moments of stupidity.

But, it's something that I have to work on myself.

I don't want to be a hypocrite.

Don't judge me, I will protest. You don't really know me....and I realize that I don't know you, either.



Blogger rachel... said...

You know, I think judging others (especially other moms) is something so innate it's almost impossible to do. Not because we're all hypocrites, but if we can judge and point out the mistakes and faults of others, then I think we feel better about our own choices. And what we REALLY want is not to make others feel worse, but to make ourselves feel better. To validate that we're doing the RIGHT thing. I've been thinking of writing a post about just this subject.

I don't think you're a hypocrite, I think you're human. And recognizing this about yourself is so important. And something tells me you wouldn't refuse this woman a seat next to you in church, either.

Great post. I'm really enjoying your blog.

October 25, 2009 at 2:09 PM  
Blogger Chief said...

One of my favorite quotes is...

Send love to everyone around you for you don't know the struggles they face.

Great post!

October 25, 2009 at 3:19 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

Rachel, that makes so much sense! Thanks for stopping by.

Chief, that is a great quote. I need to write that somewhere where I can see it all the time.

October 25, 2009 at 4:21 PM  
Blogger Poolside with the Girls said...

I have become less judgmental in recent years after reflecting on my past behavior. It must be some sort of thing we all go through. It hits you all of the sudden and you realize...OK maybe there is more to this person's story.

Human nature for sure. Great post!

October 25, 2009 at 4:29 PM  
Blogger Liz Mays said...

You know what? You kept that to yourself and didn't share that thought with anyone else. Not only that, but you recognized it as judgmental. That's a great thing! :)

October 25, 2009 at 4:45 PM  
Blogger Tracie said...

It's hard not to judge people a little bit, isn't it? I think we're all guilty of this at one time or another.

October 25, 2009 at 4:55 PM  
Blogger Foursons said...

The fact that you are even thinking about this is a huge step. God is convicting you and through that conviction will come change.

October 25, 2009 at 4:58 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I find myself doing this. As soon as I realize what I'm doing I always say Lord please take those thoughts away from my brain. I feel so guilty you would think I said it out loud to the person.

October 25, 2009 at 9:24 PM  
Blogger supahmommy- somethin's wrong with that girl said...

I like chiefs quote too. .. and to err is human right?
Just do better next time.

You just NEVER know.. that' s what I"ve learned.
great vulnerable post- i love these.


October 26, 2009 at 9:33 AM  
Blogger Shell said...

Thanks for all the comments.

I really have gotten better at not sharing my judgemental comments outloud. I just need to work on not thinking that way in the first place.

October 26, 2009 at 9:37 AM  
Blogger MommyBrain said...

I think this is a really important introspective post ... probably not easy to write ... but putting you down a new path just by expressing it and letting others read it. And, I think if we're all being honest, hypocrisy is something we are all guilty of ... because it's so much easier/quicker than having compassion. It's tough to reprogram our brains, isn't it?!

October 26, 2009 at 3:10 PM  

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