< Things I Can't Say: Seven Signs Pigs Must Be Flying

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Monday, October 10, 2011

Seven Signs Pigs Must Be Flying

Should any of the following occur, I will know that somewhere, pigs must be flying:

Should my husband ever let me be the one to sleep in while he gets up and gets all three boys dressed for school, packs their lunches and backpacks, pigs must be flying.

Should I ever have a good hair day without the assistance of a professional or at least a flat iron, an instyler, and tons of product, pigs must be flying.

Should a day pass without my boys saying the words "poop," "butt," "poopy" or any other potty word, pigs must be flying.

Should I actually be excited about soccer practice or first grade homework, pigs must be flying.

Should I  find a pair of high heels that I actually like and want to wear over going barefoot or wearing flip flops, pigs must be flying.

Should my boys actually have good aim when using the potty, pigs must be flying.

Should I be excited about going 10 days without chocolate, wine, and all things bad for me, pigs must be flying. Though I am starting a detox today and following this one. But, I'm kinda cranky about it. So, no call to look for the flying pigs.

Give me one of your signs that pigs must be flying.


Blogger NayLahKnee LahKnee said...

Should I have to not pry my hubby away from the Xbox, PIGS MUST BE FLYING WITH JET POWERED PACKS

October 10, 2011 at 7:33 AM  
Anonymous tracy@sellabitmum said...

LOL - should my eldest not complain about how early the morning is.

October 10, 2011 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger Kiddothings said...

Should I get up one day looking like I am 21 again, not only will the pigs fly, the cows will too.

October 10, 2011 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

JDaniel will sleep past 6:00 without waking up in the middle of the night to ask if it is morning.

October 10, 2011 at 7:55 AM  
Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

If my son gets up at 8AM instead of 6AM. Hmm, I REALLY want to see pigs fly.

October 10, 2011 at 7:59 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

If my children actually do something the FIRST time I ask them to do it!

Great list - I love the first one!

October 10, 2011 at 8:05 AM  
Blogger Secret Mom Thoughts said...

should my husband suggest going to the gym pigs will be flying.

October 10, 2011 at 8:09 AM  
Blogger Krista @ Not Mommy of the Year said...

haha! I loved this. Especially the first one.
Here's mine:
Should my husband ever NOT come down with a cold/flu at the worst possible time - like when one of the kids has it, so that I don't have to spend three days with a sick child, a healthy child and a "OHHHH... I'm so sick and I don't want to get the kids sick so i'm just going to lay here" husband. Then pigs must be flying.

October 10, 2011 at 8:15 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

Should my husband actually do a load of laundry by himself pigs will definitely be a flying!

October 10, 2011 at 8:17 AM  
Anonymous Galit Breen said...

Hee! Should I get a full night's sleep, and the following day to read and write and watch TV -wait for it- without interruption.


(Fantastic post, friend!)

October 10, 2011 at 8:20 AM  
Blogger Di said...

Should my checking account balance ever exceed my bills due - Pigs will fly! :)

October 10, 2011 at 8:22 AM  
Blogger The Jammie Girl said...

If the fundraisers for school, scouts, choir, band, and drama club are ever anything I actually WANT to purchase - pigs must be flying.

October 10, 2011 at 8:36 AM  
Blogger Mel said...

Should my husband ever cook dinner for me!

October 10, 2011 at 8:38 AM  
Blogger VandyJ said...

Should I wake to find the dishes done, not by my hand, and breakfast ready pigs will be flying.
Love, love, love the first one.

October 10, 2011 at 8:41 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

I love this list!

Pigs will fly when my daughter cleans her room without me threatening to throw everything away. Also, when I wake up without my hair looking like I stuck my finger in a socket, pigs will fly.

Good luck with the detox!

October 10, 2011 at 8:42 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

I admire you...I don't know if I could detox from everything at once, especially the chocolate! I told my husband that if we have a 3rd child and it is also a boy - we will be installing urinals in our home.

October 10, 2011 at 8:51 AM  
Blogger By Word of Mouth Musings said...

you teeny thing you, you lost me at the detox diet on that little frame of yours - seriously???

October 10, 2011 at 8:57 AM  
Blogger KLZ said...

Should I look forward to going to work, pigs must be flying.

October 10, 2011 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger Oka said...

I am so with you there on the heels. UGH

Should my husband ever offer to take the kids to any of their events without me being on my death bed, pigs must be flying.

Should my husband do any yard work, just because it needs to be done, pigs will be flying by the millions.

October 10, 2011 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Cindi said...

Should I wake up three teen agers without the "ungodly hour" routine, pigs must be flying! LoL

October 10, 2011 at 9:35 AM  
Blogger The Random Blogette said...

I love this! I have 2! And seriously, I can't believe you are doing that detox. I tried a detox once and I lasted 2 days before I went nuts.

Should I actually wake up with clear skin one morning, pigs must be flying.

Should my kids not start fighting as soon as my husband leaves the house in the morning, pigs must be flying. (They actually started fighting this morning as soon as he closed the front door. No joke!)

October 10, 2011 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger Samantha said...

Should my husband actually puts away his dirty dishes into the dishwasher, pigs must be flying.

Should my husband's dirty clothes actually end up in the laundry basket instead of on the floor BESIDE the laundry basket, pigs must be flying.

Should my 4 year old do what I say when I say it, pigs must be flying.

Should my 4 year old actually wear her pants without me having to yell, fuss and fight about her putting them on, pigs must be flying!

October 10, 2011 at 9:50 AM  
Blogger Courtney said...

I identify with several of these and can't think of any original ones because the topics I most have issues with are already stated here. LOL - great Monday morning read! Good luck on your detox!

October 10, 2011 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Should my husband clean the bathroom (EVER!), pigs must be flying.

He has NEVER, EVER, in our almost 9 years of marriage (and 11 years of being together) cleaned a bathroom. He helps out a lot, but bathrooms are not on his list.

October 10, 2011 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger StylinMom said...

great list....very funny post...I have a ton but at the moment I can't think...it must be the Monday morning brain freeze....oh there is one....I wake up on Monday morning and my brain is functioning at full capacity...yeah right pigs would have to be flying!!!

October 10, 2011 at 10:31 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

I promise the detox is way easier than you think! I actually had wine for the first time after doing it this weekend and hated the way it made me feel. I am back off it again now and will only have it once in a while from now on. Loving this healthier, cleaner lifestyle!

October 10, 2011 at 10:35 AM  
Anonymous Jocelyn said...

Should my dear husband actually put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher instead of just lying them in the sink that is roughly 3 inches from said dishwasher, pigs must by flying.

October 10, 2011 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

If my 9 year old daughter didn't always have to have the last word (about anything & everything), then pigs must be flying loopty loops in the sky!!

October 10, 2011 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Oh, good aim. I understand. *sobs and gets disinfectant*

October 10, 2011 at 10:42 AM  
Blogger Jessica @ My Simply Complicated said...

Should I ever feel "on top" of my work and my email box be empty, not only are pigs flying, but money is freaking growing on trees...

October 10, 2011 at 10:44 AM  
Blogger Rach said...

Should I actually get up when my alarm goes off the first time instead of hitting snooze 3890 times, pigs must be flyin'! Thanks for sharing!

October 10, 2011 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger jen@its all about me said...

Pig will fly the day my husband says," where's the cleaner honey, I'm gonna clean the bathroom?"

October 10, 2011 at 10:58 AM  
Blogger MamaCole said...

Should I ever enjoy house cleaning, pigs will be flying. And, really, any of yours. Your blog always makes me smile:)

October 10, 2011 at 11:01 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

If I jump right out of bed in the morning.

October 10, 2011 at 11:03 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Those are all great. I don't think blogger would even let me write that much for my list. Lol

October 10, 2011 at 11:17 AM  
Blogger KSK said...

If I get an entire day.. or even a few hours to do absolutely nothing! Besides reading a book or watching a movie... Pigs must be flying!

(LOVED this!!)

October 10, 2011 at 11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome post.

I often "look for my real husband" when I find the laundry folded and brought upstairs!


October 10, 2011 at 11:30 AM  
Blogger Lizbeth said...

if my husband picked up the broom and swept the floor...

October 10, 2011 at 11:32 AM  
Blogger Kristina P. said...

I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't love flip. I have a high arch, so they hurt.

October 10, 2011 at 11:37 AM  
Blogger sarajo said...

Being able to go to church without roaming the halls with a cranky baby.

Having the non-school kids sleep in while the school kids are up and getting ready for school.

Have a whole day without someone whining to me that "I'm hungry".

After making food for "I'm hungry" they actually eat what I make for them!

October 10, 2011 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Kristin @ What She Said said...

Should my toddler every willing lie down and let me change her diaper and/or dress her without fighting me, pigs will be flying.

Should I ever just relax over a cup of tea on a weekend morning without going over the million and one things on my to-do list in my head, pigs will be flying.

Should I ever get caught up on my blog reading or ahead in my blog writing, pigs will most definitely be flying.

October 10, 2011 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

Pigs will fly when my 7-year-old starts doing her homework with a great attitude. Also a day without potty words is a long shot for us too. :)

October 10, 2011 at 12:03 PM  
Blogger Missy said...

Love this. Should I be able to answer the phone JUST ONCE without both of my kids going into cuckoo mode extreme, pigs must be flying.

October 10, 2011 at 12:27 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Good luck with the detox. If Alex ever made it through a day without shouting or talking too loud- pigs would definitely be flying.

October 10, 2011 at 1:16 PM  
Blogger January Dawn said...

Should my husband and children go a whole day actually LOOKING for the object before asking me where their phone-toy-belt-Spiderman Costume-Orange juice-special blankie-stuffed animal-remote control for tv-certain type of jeans-hat... (this could go on forever and EVER) pigs, cows, dogs and cats would definitely be flying. To the moon.

October 10, 2011 at 1:33 PM  
Blogger Helene said...

Hahahaha, love this post, Shell!!

Should my kids ever listen to me the first time around and actually do what I'm asking them, pigs must be flying.

If my husband ever says to me, "No, you sit and finish your dinner. I'll go wipe his ass this time", pigs must be flying.

If all the clothes ended up in the hamper, pigs must be flying.

If I could get through a day without being sneezed on or peed on, pigs must be flying.

Oh wow, I'm a roll now. Perhaps you should make this a new meme!! I could easily see this becoming a great way to get the frustrations out!!

October 10, 2011 at 1:48 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I totally want to try a detox, let me know how it goes. If I get everyone loaded in the van without having to go back in the house for something pigs are definitely flying right over our minivan.

October 10, 2011 at 2:12 PM  
Blogger Amanda I said...

If I get to pee without others being in the bathroom pigs must be flying.

More than 5 hours of consecutive sleep for 5 consecuitive days pigs must be flying.

October 10, 2011 at 2:22 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

I love this post! And... I'm so with January Dawn - if My husband were to EVER actually look for something before he asks me where it is... pigs will fly.

October 10, 2011 at 3:08 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Should I not have to tell my husband at least three times that it is time to put the kids to bed...

Should my daughter ever not say "Mom" and then wait for me to respond before she just tells me what she has to say...

October 10, 2011 at 3:32 PM  
Blogger angela said...

Should my husband ever give both kids a bath...

My shoe one is opposite. I love heels of any sort and cannot find a pair of flat shoes I like to save my life :(

October 10, 2011 at 4:22 PM  
Anonymous Jaclyn said...

You don't like high heels??? Oh man, I take that on as a challenge!

October 10, 2011 at 4:32 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

If my kids ever went to bed early, without some fight or tantrum or playtime in bed breaking out, pigs will be flying right over our roof!

October 10, 2011 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger mintifresh said...

The day I wake up perky, be it 6, 8 or noon, pigs will fly!

October 10, 2011 at 4:35 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Hahaha!! All of those things would have pigs flying around my house as well. And what is up with bad hair days?! SO frustrating!! You'd think we'd have grown out of those by now ;)

October 10, 2011 at 5:07 PM  
Anonymous Teresa (Embracing the Spectrum) said...

Should we make it through a day without a single tantrum...

October 10, 2011 at 5:50 PM  
Anonymous Denise said...

Should my kids ever go through one day, heck even one morning, without annoying each other and arguing and driving me nuts, pigs must be flying.

October 10, 2011 at 6:14 PM  
Blogger Just Jennifer said...

The first one is so good!

Should my children take the initiative to do something without being asked, pigs must be flying!

October 10, 2011 at 7:23 PM  
Blogger Lourie said...

The one about the husband taking care of the kids and packing lunches is more a sign of the apocalypse than pigs flying. Hmmmm... the kids doing what they are told to do the first time without hesitation or eye rolling.

October 10, 2011 at 8:32 PM  
Blogger April said...

The pigs are a-flyin' if any of my 3 boys or husband ever answers me without first asking "what?!'
Loved this!

October 10, 2011 at 9:22 PM  
Blogger Hines-Sight said...

So cute. Good luck with your detox.

I'm not envious.

October 10, 2011 at 9:39 PM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Pigs are flying because my ex called today. He is going to be in town on business later this week and wants to see the kids. Four years we've been here... this is a first!

October 10, 2011 at 10:07 PM  
Blogger Loukia said...

Oh yes, if number one happened in my house, pigs would certainly be flying, too! So funny...

October 10, 2011 at 10:22 PM  
Blogger Rach (DonutsMama) said...

Haha! Should there not be some sort of sport on TV in our house, pigs must be flying. Argh!

October 10, 2011 at 10:30 PM  
Blogger JamieAnne of A Dash of Domestic said...

I tried to comment earlier...ehh...webby issues.

I believe piggies would be flying if my tween and teen cleaned their rooms without having to be asked to do so. Or if they ever picked up their trash and cups without prompting.


Airborne swine.

October 10, 2011 at 11:48 PM  
Blogger Red said...

Should my husband do a load of laundry while I'm at work without me bugging and bugging him {from work!} AND dry it, pigs MUST be flying!!

October 11, 2011 at 3:48 AM  
Blogger Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

Should the dog not stalk me for food.

Should the Crazies go to bed without incident.

Should I get a full night's sleep...pigs must be flying.

October 11, 2011 at 6:53 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

Should my husband ever make dinner for us on his own AND clean it up without me helping in any manner, pigs must be flying! ;)

October 11, 2011 at 7:24 AM  
Blogger Tara said...

haha! this was really funny! Mine is: Should a laundry day go by that I don't have to remind my daughter that her underwear does not = toilet paper, pigs must be flying.

October 11, 2011 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger Tayarra said...

Ha, ha! Just read this after I tweeted that my husband joined Facebook. Pigs are flying around here!

October 11, 2011 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...


Pigs will be flying in our house if my husband ever offers to change Maggie's diaper.

October 11, 2011 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger John said...

I thought the rules stated that you must have a fantastic hair day if you're ever guaranteed to be alone for a full day, without access to a camera (kind of the hole-in-one rule . . . you can only ever have a hole-in-one if you can't verify it, but I don't golf).

There's a very, very real part of me that hates leaving every weekday morning so that Duffy has to deal with the babies. So, I always try to be the one who gets up to play & baby-wrangle come Saturday morning.

October 11, 2011 at 10:24 AM  
Blogger An Imperfect Momma said...

LOL! Love your list. But if my husband should ever and I mean EVER change a diaper - pigs are definitely flying all over

October 11, 2011 at 10:54 AM  
Blogger Kir said...

love, love, love this. Oh Girl you make me giggle!!!

Pigs are flying if any one of the men in my house JUST LOOK FOR SOMETHING instead of asking me where it is, while they are LOOKING AT IT!!! LOL

October 11, 2011 at 10:54 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Oh, where do I begin?! I love this post and just read Helene's and now I want to "borrow" the idea too!

October 11, 2011 at 12:27 PM  
Blogger Mark and Amy said...

Pigs would be flying if I got more attention from my husband than the computer for a whole day

October 11, 2011 at 12:29 PM  
Blogger Kristy said...

Thank god for the Instyler, right?! Best $100 I ever spent.

October 11, 2011 at 1:23 PM  
Blogger Am I Really Grown Up? said...

Pigs would be flying if all of my daughter's toys would be put away without me asking 40 gabillion times and then I end up doing it anyways:(

October 11, 2011 at 1:49 PM  
Blogger Kelley said...

This was so funny! My son is in first grade but they don't have homework. Isn't that crazy? My favorite of yours is the one about your husband getting the boys dressed and to school. Mine? If my husband cleans the kitchen, PIGS MUST BE FLYING.

October 11, 2011 at 2:47 PM  
Blogger Renee said...

If I should ever make it out of the house in time (morning, noon, or night) those pigs must be a-flying!

October 11, 2011 at 2:55 PM  
Blogger RoryBore said...

spotted: 1 pig flying over my house this morning....

..while daddy got up with kids, did breakfast, packed lunches, put eldest on bus, played with 2 youngest, made lunch, then brough my lazy butt a coffee in bed. it was 12:15 pm.

please don't hate me Shell. For I am quite certain that pig will be flying over a blue moon tonight.

October 11, 2011 at 3:04 PM  
Blogger Elaine A. said...

The third one would incite an entire troop of flying pigs, for sure!! "Poop" is my 4-year old's MOST very favorite word!!!!

October 11, 2011 at 4:39 PM  
Blogger WhisperingWriter said...

If I ever find fast food gross, pigs must be flying. I love the greasy stuff.

October 11, 2011 at 5:05 PM  
Blogger Lady Jennie said...

You're detoxing?

I think the bread and sugar is contributing to my huge belly (that won't go away) so I want to cut it out for awhile. I get cranky too though.

October 11, 2011 at 5:11 PM  
Blogger Rhiannon said...

hahahahah! gosh you should have made this into a linky party! i love helen's ones too!

October 11, 2011 at 5:48 PM  
Blogger Just Be Real said...

Delightful post and blog. Blessings.

October 11, 2011 at 6:23 PM  
Blogger Nezzy said...

If Hubs brought me flowers and I wasn't hospitalized...."pigs would be flyin' high!!!"

These are great, I totally enjoyed readin' 'em sweetie!!!

God bless ya and have a beautiful day filled with flyin' pigs!!! Heehehehe! :o)

October 11, 2011 at 7:37 PM  
Blogger Scary Mommy said...

If my husband would actually put his dinner plate IN the sink, his sock IN the laundry basket or his shoes OUT of the hallway, pigs will be flying. And, I would pass out.

October 11, 2011 at 8:36 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Love this!

Should my husband actually make the bed in the morning...

October 11, 2011 at 9:06 PM  
Blogger The Suburban Princess said...

I'd be cranky about a detox too!

October 11, 2011 at 9:29 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

HAAAAAAAAA! I'm really looking forward to the whole "aim" situation. But love, pigs will fly when it comes to some of these.

October 11, 2011 at 10:27 PM  
Blogger The Anecdotal Baby said...

The day my husband acknowledges me. I know he hears, but is a simple nod or yes to much to ask? When he does that I will be looking around for those damn pigs!!

October 11, 2011 at 11:32 PM  
Anonymous Robin | Farewell, Stranger said...

Should I wake up one morning with good hair instead of having it stick out all over, pigs must be flying. And hopefully they took my crazy bed hair with them.

October 12, 2011 at 12:30 AM  
Blogger Sela Toki said...

How about: "Pigs must be flying... if I hear the word "MOM" less then 200 times a day"

October 12, 2011 at 1:19 AM  
Blogger From Tracie said...

If I ever found a chocolate bar that I didn't like...pigs would certainly fly.

October 12, 2011 at 1:19 AM  
Blogger Jessica {Team Rasler} said...

Pigs will fly around here when my husband does NOT yawn and declare he is still tired after sleeping nine hours and taking a two hour nap (while I get up early, take care of the kids, and race around doing chores at naptime).

Good luck on the detox!

October 12, 2011 at 2:25 AM  
Blogger Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Should I ever get to sleep in past 7:30 am pigs must be flying.

October 12, 2011 at 6:56 AM  
Blogger Paula said...

Those boys and their bad aim...my 7 year old gets much more pee in the floor than he does the toilet!

October 12, 2011 at 1:33 PM  
Blogger Tina Lane said...

When my toilet figures out how to clean itself.

October 12, 2011 at 3:46 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Should I only have to say something once for the kids to actually listen to me, pigs must be flying

October 12, 2011 at 4:38 PM  
Blogger Babes Mami said...

Pigs must be flying when I'm not the one doing the laundry!

October 13, 2011 at 6:49 PM  
Blogger Christine Siracusa said...

this is awesome. I'm tempted to copy you and do my own but instead I'll just say this...If I ever tell my husband about an expensive purchase I'd like to make and hear him simply say "Great idea." I will know that pigs have taken flight.

Also If I ever get him on a real flight (a people flight) to Australia.

October 13, 2011 at 9:45 PM  

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