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Friday, August 5, 2011

Blog Friend Feature: The Desperate Housemommy

I was sucked right into this blog right from the moment I read her blog title. But, I have bad timing sometimes. I asked her to be featured when she was going through something that I think a lot of us can relate to. Though, she has some hilarious advice for how to get through it.

Meet Sue of The Desperate Housemommy:
So.  Let me say from the get-go that I was thrilled to bits and pieces when Shell asked me to be her BFF for today.  Who wouldn't be? Shell is a bloggy force to be reckoned with, all wrapped up in a cute little blond package.


In addition to being thrilled?

I was more than a little shocked.  I'd go so far as to say that I was overwhelmed.

Because, as fate would have it, Shell's flattering proposition came at the most awkwardly inconvenient of times.

Has this ever happened to any of you bloggy friends?  Things are rolling along just fine.  The ideas flow from your laptop to the Internet, you start to pick up steam and a few followers to boot, and then-

All of a sudden, you have nothing to say.

You have feelings of inadequacy.

You are inexplicably incapable of performing, especially on demand.

Your desire to post is sporadic...Once a week at best.

You feel lifeless.




Sound familiar, anyone?


Don't be shy.  There is strength in numbers, I tell you. For the sake of flailing bloggers everywhere, I'll just go ahead and lay it out there.


Have recently lost my Bloggy Mojo.

*cue the new-age piano background music*

But there is hope, friends.  For I, in my quest to aid Mojo-seeking bloggers everywhere, have compiled a list of DESPERATE BLOGGY MOJO TIPS.  And while I should mention that these tips have not been clinically proven, they certainly can't worsen your predicament.

So what have you got to lose?  Try one or all of these DESPERATE BLOGGY MOJO TIPS today:

-Give birth to a child, adopt a child, or foster a child.  Children are outstanding blog fodder, especially itty-bitty ones with smooshable cheeks and That Fabulous Baby Smell.

-Attend a family reunion.  The bigger, the longer, the nuttier, the better.  Got a Great Aunt Gertrude who's not speaking to your Second Cousin Imogene because of what happened at the last family hoedown-showdown?  Awesome.  Bring your laptop along to the jamboree and take notes.

-Get a pet - Might I suggest one that sheds profusely or is slow to take to housebreaking?  Wacky animal hi-jinx of the domestic nature makes for highly amusing bloggy anecdotes.

-Step outside your comfort zone.  Afraid of heights?  Go skydiving.  Seasonal allergies?  Do a little gardening.  Also have an inhaler and a substitute transcriber at the ready.

-Develop a celebrity crush.  Then devote one day a week to declaring your undying love for said celebrity.  Give your new weekly feature a catchy title such as "Super Stalker Saturday" or "Terrifically Tabloidian Tuesday."

-Tackle a do-it-yourself home renovation with your spouse, preferably one that requires working long hours in close quarters. Wallpaper stripping and painting are highly recommended.  Fumes?  Can be like a creativity-enhancing recreational drug.  The more there are, the better the blog fodder.

-Consume a 16-ounce energy drink in less than two minutes.  Wait for two more minutes.  Then go and getcha blog on.

You're welcome, friends.  Just bear with me through the fine print:

DESPERATE BLOGGY MOJO TIPS should not be used with other activities that increase blog traffic, specifically, blog hops and link-ups.

Sudden decrease or loss of followers has been reported in bloggers who tweet compulsively in conjunction with following DESPERATE BLOGGY MOJO TIPS.  If you experience sudden decrease or loss of followers, stop tweeting and disable your Twitter account right away.

DESPERATE BLOGGY MOJO TIPS do not protect against computer viruses.  Always use protection such as a reliable spam filter.

In the rare event of a post lasting longer than 5000 words, stop blogging and seek immediate help.

Please leave Sue some comment love here and then go follow The Desperate Housemommy.

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Blogger Jenny said...

Such funny blog tips! Here's to coming out of the bloggy slump in style at Shell's place!

Going to check you out now!

August 5, 2011 at 7:35 AM  
Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

She is so fun! I love this post! The disclaimers are a hoot!

August 5, 2011 at 7:42 AM  
Blogger mom2kiddos said...

Totally hilarious! I will try these tips if I ever lose my bloggy mojo!

August 5, 2011 at 7:51 AM  
Blogger vinobaby said...

Nice to see you here. I agree with the family reunion thing...luckily I avoided one this summer. But then I couldn't have used it for blog fodder anyway, because everyone would have been totally offended if I wrote anything even close to the truth regarding how insane they all are...

I could start another blog (so long as I could actually keep it anonymous this time) just to write about my whacked-out In-Laws...

Cute post. Cheers!

August 5, 2011 at 7:53 AM  
Blogger Missy said...

Hahahahahahaha! I've been known to consume a few energy drinks around here. But shhhhh, I like mine with a little vodka added for good measure. ;) Congrats on your BIG day!

August 5, 2011 at 7:56 AM  
Blogger therealhousewifeofoxfordcounty said...

fianlly a name for my illness I see my slump coming to an end FAST

August 5, 2011 at 7:58 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Love it! Must agree on the "family reunion" every time I take a trip to The Great White North, I have blog fodder for weeks! Currently hashing through a visit now... seriously, I think I could write a book!

August 5, 2011 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger Mel said...

Funny you should mention this. One of my main motivations in thinking of getting pregnant again is for the betterment of my blog!

Hilarious post!

August 5, 2011 at 8:07 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Ooh! Haven't we all been there? I know I have. I especially have "performance anxiety" when it comes to writing guest posts.

August 5, 2011 at 8:17 AM  
Blogger livingsj77 said...

So funny and so relatable. I've definitely been there. I'll have to bookmark this page for future reference :)

August 5, 2011 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger RoryBore said...

great tips!
although I (and most who know me) would be severely shocked if I ever ran out of things to say.

August 5, 2011 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger Victoria KP said...

Love this! My bloggy-mojo has been a little weak lately. Gave me a great chuckle. Now decisions, decisions, a new baby or skydiving...

Of course, I DO have a Great Aunt Gertrude...

August 5, 2011 at 8:28 AM  
Blogger kmcaffee said...

I LOVE this - it's Viagra for blogs!!!! :)

August 5, 2011 at 8:29 AM  
Blogger Nicolette said...

Great tips! I'm going to run out and adopt a pet right now. Maybe two or three ;)

August 5, 2011 at 8:43 AM  
Blogger jen@its all about me said...

Will an Aunt Genevieve do Sue? Always a giggle!

August 5, 2011 at 8:59 AM  
Blogger Cindi said...

LoL. Great tips and I'll keep them in mind.

August 5, 2011 at 9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never had a performance problem before. Occasionally writer's block, but...

Excellent tips. Not sure if the energy drink one will work on me though. I consume too much caffeine on a daily basis to have any real, immediate effect.

August 5, 2011 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

oh shell, you get the best friends to post here!

I call that losing my "blojo" [blog mojo, yah]

Happens all the time dear. Great tips!

August 5, 2011 at 9:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post! Very funny! :)

August 5, 2011 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Sue is hilarious, love this!

August 5, 2011 at 10:21 AM  
Anonymous erin margolin said...

Good thing I'm preggers? Otherwise I might never recover my bloggy mojo!


August 5, 2011 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger From Tracie said...

SO funny! I think I need to pick one of these tips and run with it.

August 5, 2011 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

These are hilarious! I guess I'm just screwed - I am not up for any of those on the list! Well...if I had to pick one...I think I'd go w/ the skydiving ;-)

August 5, 2011 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger The Mommy Therapy said...

I think all of us have lost our bloggy mojo at one point or another and this is a fabulous inspirtation list.

I also find that taking my three children with me to do something, not kid friendly, by myself, during nap time, like purchasing a new minivan, can be extremely motivation. The post basically writes itself.

Thanks for sharing!

August 5, 2011 at 10:39 AM  
Blogger Jenn [ Crippled Girl ] said...

bahahahhaa omg, too funny! Where have you been all my blogging life? ;)

August 5, 2011 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

You are hilarious. It's obvious you have your blogging groove back. We are planning to buy some fish. Surely that's good for at least one blog post.

August 5, 2011 at 10:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great tips Sue, a visit to my sister would be good for a week's blogging!

August 5, 2011 at 11:04 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Hahaha! I would have never guessed from this post that you lost your "blogging mojo". Thanks for the great tips ;)
Nice to "meet" you.

August 5, 2011 at 11:35 AM  
Blogger Di said...

That was brilliant and so true. If I didn't have Jellybean there would be days I had nothing to write about at all!

August 5, 2011 at 11:38 AM  
Blogger Hutch said...

I've thought about adoption/fostering, but then I realized although I'm childless (and by choice at this point), I still get categorized as a mommy blogger. No idea how. And you have reminded me, I need to get back to my draft post about this!

August 5, 2011 at 11:50 AM  
Blogger Kir said...

I completely agree, sometimes I just have NOTHING to say or lots of things to say but even I say, WHO THE HELL Wants to hear about that?????? (although here in blogland, probably one or two people..LOL)

It's so nice to meet you, you could also start a weekly feature where you introduce your favorite bloggers to everyone. *Ahem* ;)

August 5, 2011 at 12:35 PM  
Blogger Emmy said...

Yep I think we totally all go through that at some point. But look- you made an awesome and hilarious post about not being able to blog :)

August 5, 2011 at 12:43 PM  
Blogger An Imperfect Momma said...

Hysterical! And as someone who inadvertently followed one of the mojo tips...it does work!! :o) Off to visit her site

August 5, 2011 at 1:20 PM  
Blogger Just Jennifer said...

Awesome tips! Fun post and nice to meet you, Sue!

August 5, 2011 at 1:28 PM  
Blogger mama marchand said...

BAHAHAHA! I love this! Thanks for the laugh. :)

August 5, 2011 at 2:19 PM  
Anonymous kate f said...

This. Is. Too. Funny! Can't wait to share this with others... I am definitely not desperate enough to have another child... 3 is enough! But a family reunion... Hmmm. So many ideas just at the thought!!! :)

August 5, 2011 at 3:20 PM  
Blogger Fox in the City said...

Some of the best blogging advice I have ever read! Practical, easily accomplished, mostly affordable and just plain hilarious.

August 5, 2011 at 3:54 PM  
Blogger Rach (DonutsMama) said...

Hahaha! I've already done 2 things on that list--the baby and the remodel. I'll have to try the last tip though. I gotta learn to type faster and maybe an energy drink will help!

August 5, 2011 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger Mom of 12 said...

Been feeling a little low myself...Maybe it's the summer heat? Swimsuit too tight? Sand between the toes? Tired of fried chicken and watermelon? I'm open to other suggestions...anything but the fact that maybe I'm just not that interesting.

August 5, 2011 at 5:31 PM  
Blogger Hopes said...

This is fantastic!! I have three boys under 8 and can attest to the fact that if you have kids, you have great blogging content that will keep you writing for months upon months!

Off to check out your blog now. Shell has such great BFF's!!

August 5, 2011 at 6:11 PM  
Blogger Evonne said...

I love this! If I wasn't on vacation right now, I wouldn't have anything to blog about. I'm definitely going through a funk. I think I'll need these tips once I blog about our trip.

August 5, 2011 at 9:10 PM  
Blogger Brie said...

Haha! The tips have encouraged me! I've got two en route: home renovation in (slow but sure) progress, and, oh, yeah, I'm having a baby Tuesday. Maybe I have more blog in my bank than I thought. :/

August 6, 2011 at 1:29 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Yah!!! A new blog to me. I am soooo excited and she is hilarious!

August 6, 2011 at 8:51 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

Happens to me more than I care to admit. Hmm, that adopting a child advice sounds interesting...

August 6, 2011 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger I'm Jennifer. said...

In addition to being SO funny, this post actually gave me some good ideas for posts. I feel like I've lost my bloggy mojo too. Thanks, Sue, for the pick-me-up.

August 6, 2011 at 10:25 AM  
Blogger Desperate Housemommy said...

Thanks so much for having me, Shell...You are the hostess with the mostest!

August 6, 2011 at 11:32 AM  
Blogger Honey B. said...

LOL The scariest part of this is that I've thought at least twice that I will totally be a rockstar blogger whenever I get pregnant... :-)

August 6, 2011 at 12:53 PM  
Blogger Hines-Sight said...

Loved meeting her. So fun. I went to her site and read about six to eight things immediately. What fun!

August 6, 2011 at 3:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DH you warm my heart....especially since I am in a bit of a slump myself. Hate it when that MoJo wains. Let's chalk it up to the time of the year. Nut-thin is happening right now and only the mosquitoes have a buzz going. Great post!

August 6, 2011 at 4:07 PM  
Blogger MrsJenB said...

Aaaah I love the disclaimers at the end! Hysterical. :)

August 6, 2011 at 6:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You got great points there, so I always love your blog, it looks like you are an expert in this field. keep up the good work, My friend recommends your site.

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August 7, 2011 at 2:10 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I love Sue! Love of bloggy mojo, my ass! I am always smiling and enjoying you. I do think the bloggy mojo tips are a great idea to generate blog fodder, however, I cross the line at jumping out of an airplane for a good story! :)

August 7, 2011 at 10:23 AM  
Blogger Jen L. said...

HYSTERICAL! Love this post. Well done, Sue.

August 7, 2011 at 3:30 PM  
Blogger Lady Jennie said...

Nice save for someone who has "nothing" to say.

August 7, 2011 at 3:53 PM  
Blogger Helene said...

Love her sense of humor...and of course I'm already one of her followers for that very reason!!!

Kids provide the best blog fodder EVER!!

August 7, 2011 at 4:05 PM  
Blogger Kelley said...

You are one of my very favorite bloggers EVER!! You cannot be in a slump. I see no real evidence of it. I love everything you write & will print out these mojo tips & stick them in my wallet. Big, big hugs to you, my friend. MY BFF!

August 9, 2011 at 4:03 AM  
Blogger SoMo Mom said...

You are right! Getting a pet really does help. I get SO much mileage out of my cat barf stories! GREAT TIPS!

August 9, 2011 at 10:31 AM  
Blogger Joann Mannix said...

Two of my favorite bloggers at the same site. Yes!

I never lose my mojo because my life is full of ridiculousness from the 5 pets, 2 of them stupid ducks to 3 teenage girls and me, just making a general ass of myself and there you have a treasure trove of blog fodder.

I'm glad you found your mojo again. Shell made a good choice.

August 10, 2011 at 9:42 PM  
Blogger JanMary @ www.janmary.com said...


This really made me giggle, especially the disclaimer at the end.

Hi from N Ireland.

August 11, 2011 at 4:46 AM  

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