Pour Your Heart Out: A Glass Not a Sippy Cup
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But, really, it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out. There isn't ever a theme or topic that you have to blog about- it's completely a personal thing.
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Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)
Three years ago, I stared blankly at another mom who was sobbing because she had dropped her child off at kindergarten. I couldn't relate at all because I only had two kids at the time and my oldest didn't even meet the cut-off date to go to preschool. I was thinking OMG, I'd love a break and she's crying? Really, I was a teacher before I had kids. These kids are taken care of it. Get over it.
Two years ago, I sent my oldest off to a preschool for 3 year-olds. He happily went into his class, while I rushed home to put my newborn down for a nap, and breathed a sigh of relief as my two year-old would play.
One year ago, many of my oldest's friends headed off to kindergarten. Only a few months apart, yet they all met the cut-off date and he didn't.
I heard their worries. Were their kids ready? Their BABIES. What about the bus? Or should they drive them? Would they get lost on the way to their classrooms? Would they make friends? Should they buy lunch or pack? What about bathroom breaks? Homework? Would the day be too long for them? What would their teacher be like? What if they aren't really ready?
And I answered with the calm experience of a teacher. Only thinking WOOHOO, I have TWO kids in preschool AT THE SAME TIME this year.
And of course, I also thought, I will not be like that when it's my child's turn to go to school.
Here we are. A few weeks away from my oldest starting kindergarten.
How did that happen? I remember ticking off on my fingers when he was a toddler to figure out what year he would enter kindergarten. 2010 sounded so far away. In the days of sippy cups, I never thought this day would get here. Yet, here it is.
It's my turn to worry.
Should he ride the bus or should I drive him? I thought bus, but I have to drive right past his school to drop off my middle son at preschool anyway. And my little guy on the bus with fifth graders????
Is he ready? I'm not really concerned about this one. He's ready for kindergarten. But, still, he'll be away from me all day long, 5 days a week. Kindergarten is full-day here.
Will he have a good teacher? I'm probably the most worried about this one. He's a very smart little guy, but he doesn't like being talked down to. So, if he's asked a question that he thinks is beneath him, he will purposely answer wrong or smirk and tell you he doesn't know. Try asking him to count for you and he'll act like he doesn't have a clue. But, ask him how how many 4 groups of 3 are and he can tell you. I hope he gets a teacher who sees this and doesn't think that he needs remediation in how to count to three.
Will he make friends? He can be a sweet and funny boy, but not everyone gets him. He comes up with crazy ideas that sometimes other kids just think are weird. He tends to be able to talk to adults easier than kids. And at preschool, he gravitated towards the girls instead of the boys. Not that there's anything wrong with any of this, but I do know that it could make it harder for him to fit in.
I plan on volunteering in his classroom and helping out at the school as much as I can. Not because I'm a neurotic hovering mom, but because I do want to know what is going on in his class. The parents that I had volunteer in my classroom when I was teaching definitely had a better picture of how their child was doing than those who didn't. Plus, I do genuinely want to help his teacher.
But, I know that I can't do everything for him. I can't sit with him on the bus, walk him to class, go through the lunchline with him, guide his pencil with my hand, force his teacher to get him or his classmates to be his friends.
I have to trust that everything that I've taught him over the past 5.5 years will be enough for him to stand on his own.
On his own? But, he's MY BABY....hmmmm, maybe I get why so many moms have tears as they send their children off to kindergarten.
Labels: pour your heart out
posted by Shell at
8:24 AM
77 Comments:
I remember feeling the same with both of my girls and this year will be Diva's first year with all day. What will I do not having her around? How will Monkey do without her sisters? I am sure we will miss them terribly but I am also sure it will give Monkey the one on one time with Momma that she wouldn't otherwise get. Hugs to you that it all goes smoothly. :)
In my experience, the first one to go is the hardest. When my oldest left on the school bus the first day of kindergarten, I sobbed the entire time as I followed the bus the entire route in my van! When me second went, I celebrated a little and knew he was safe with his big sis on board with him.
Good luck!
Oh I so understand this. It is so hard sending them off full day. My older two only had half day kindergarten but when we moved and my baby was starting, it is full day where we live. That was so so hard. Your little guy will do great Shell. You have taught him so well, I know this. Let us know how he's doing. xoxo
This is my second year having a kindergartner enter school and I thought it would be easier the second time but I am feeling exactly like you. Actually as I wrote my post I cried and now reading yours I am crying again. Ugh, just a few weeks away.
This is my second year having a kindergartner enter school and I thought it would be easier the second time but I am feeling exactly like you. Actually as I wrote my post I cried and now reading yours I am crying again. Ugh, just a few weeks away.
my first lil baby starts kindy in September, as well.
I'm in denial :(
You know, since I teach first grade, I thought I would be so calm and collected about my own kids, but the truth is, I WORRY about them... the same as you do.
Awww, Shell! Thanks for sharing. It must be hard to be "on the other side" when you've been a teacher, and now you're a newby school-mom. BUT he will be FINE. He has a great mom!
I linked up my post from last friday which kind of sums up my life lately, the good and the bad.
xx
I was a mess on Cole and Bella's first day of preschool and the same way last year when they began kindergarten. They start 1st grade in a couple weeks and it'll be a full day for them. They're excited and I feel like crying everything I hear them talk about it.
The little twins will be starting preschool this year too. Only 3 hours a day though so I'll still get my fix with them plenty!
I always thought I wouldn't get so emotional over them going to school but I can't help myself. It's hard to let them go and watch them grow up and become their own little people. Any time my kids are away from me I worry. Cole and Bella have already started asking why they can't ride their bikes to school...ugh. They want to grow up so quickly and I just want to shrink wrap them and keep them in my pocket forever.
You said it perfectly, Shell, in the days of sippy cups.
Sending my oldest off to school was harder for me, really...but I worried so much about my youngest not being *ready* for it, since she was just barely old enough to go to school.
I'm getting ready to send our youngest off to all day kindergarten, and it is kind of bittersweet. I have my happy dance all ready to go, BUT I am going to miss my little buddy. At least she will have her older sister to help her with the bus thing and be there for her at school. It is a bit tough on Mom when you stop and think about it, and I was a teacher too!
Ahhhhhh I just know I shall be the same when the time comes two years from now with my daughter. I got upset first and last day of our first year of preschool more for the fact it was a milestone than because of anything else but like you say, kindergarten is all day, not just a few hours a week and there are all those BIG children there and so on and somehow there seems so very much more to worry about.
In our school, they teach (elementary level) Pre-K, through 5th. Last year was THE day for my youngest. She was almost 5 then (will be 6 in a few months). I, like many (including you, Shell lol), counted down the days, made everything sound right in the world to her in regards to going to "big kid" school.
When the day was FINALLY here, we got her in her uniform (yes, we are a uniform school..blech!), her big sissy and bro-bro helped her pack her back pack and then all of us (incl. dad who went in late to see this) waited for the inevitable. The first bus ride "alone" as a fully independent child. Not the dependent baby I raised to get to this stage of life.
Sure, I smiled, laughed, made it all-out exciting and positive. But I was dying a little inside. It hurt to see my last baby go off.
Now, I get to do this again NEXT year with my oldest, who will be in Middle/Junior High School.
God, where does the time fly off to? It all happens so quickly.
FYI...I cried as I posted that entry, knowing for me, it's not much longer. A year goes by so fast these days.
And I'm using my comment to expand for the PYHOW post. You are my muse lol.
My son born in December had also missed the cut off. So confusing for me so we waited a little late to put him to preschool. I can see the future of how it would feel once he starts going from your beautifully written post here.
I think everyone has those fears. I was the youngest and my mom kept me home for the first half of the year (Kindergarten was optional where we lived at the time) because she wasn't ready for me to grow up that much!
Awwww...this is sweet. It's posts like this that should be present at high school graduation parties (too soon to mention those?)
While the thought of kindergarten sometimes brought tears to my eyes, on the actual first day, I was nothing but proud for my boy. He was so excited and I knew he would do just fine.
I hope it's the same for you!
I wish I could volunteer in the class...that's one thing I really miss out on by working full-time. And the transition from daycare (for us), where we would get feedback daily, to school where we didn't get any unless he was bad, was really tough!
Aww, this just hits home right now because Charlie will be turning two on Friday. I know it's still a far cry from kindergarten, but it's a bittersweet milestone nonetheless, and one that serves to remind me how fleeting childhood is. He's already 1/9th of the way to 18!
I'm sure your little one will do just fine! Good luck to you, though, hope the tears dry quickly.
I'm so excited for him to go, but I swear I well up everytime I see a Staples back to school ad!!! I can't believe I'm so emotional about this. When I took him to orientation in May, they took the kids out of the gym to their classroom, I seriously cried!!! Who am I???
I'm linking up with you today! Love you! Miss you.
Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com
I remembered these mixed feelings when my first born went to Kindergarten. I was sad, but my son was so ready to have friends..
Yours will be fine, Shell..You just have to believe that.
I got a little teary eyed when my third, Baby Girl, went to kindergarten last year. But I got over it quick.
I can't wait for number 4, Bubby to start his first year of pre-school. I say that and think I should feel awful, but I don't. I'm excited. I'm excited for Baby Girl to be in school all day for 1st grade (we have 1/2 day kindergarten).
I think things will hit me hardest when my oldest starts high school next year (I worried much when he started Middle School).
aaaaaawwwwwwwwww....!!!
One of the reasons I didn't work after Emma was born is because I didn't trust anyone with her!!!
I don't know how I'm going to cope when she goes to preschool!
Oh Shell! I can so relate to a lot of this. The part about how some kids don't quite get him all the time, and how you fear how teachers will be with him. It's torture. He'll be fine! Kindergarten is SUPER FUN! the expecations aren't too high, and I have found that most K teachers really like their job. Hang in there! I have NO advice, and I'm terrible at this kind of thing. LOL My prayers are always better than my advice,and I will definitley be praying for you to have a peace about all of this!
You're going to make me cry. Once my son goes to school in a few weeks, that's it. I have no more little ones at home. I've worked with kids for years so I know he will be cared for. I also know he's ready to go. But I'm not sure if I am.
Hayden will start Kindergarten in 2012. I will probably worry then, but now I don't even think about it. I am sure he will be fine. He is an interesting boy though and he too tends to gravitate towards the girls.
2012 seems so far off but I'm sure it will be here before I know it.
Good luck to you and your son with this Kindergarten transition. I am sure you will all be fine.
These posts are so touching, you persuaded me to come over and participate this week.
I bawled like a baby when I dropped Ryan off at school for the first time. Also cried on and off most of that day. After the first week, I was fine with him being at school, me having the house all to myself.
That's one benefit of home schooling anyway. Of course some days I want to send him away! ;-)
Am I the only one who cheered when my oldest started Kindergarten? Believe me, she was ready, and I was ready. It was a little harder last year when I dropped her off at NYU to start college. That one got to me.
I cried like a baby when I sent my Monkey off to Kindergarden. He was like, "Mom!! Just go!!" Now he's going into the 3rd grade. I bet I cry this year, too. He's my baby!!!
awww, I'm sure he'll do great! I'm not there yet, but I can already make the claims that I will cry when either of my girls go to school!
I did fine with Kindergarten but both of my kids had been in daycare for a long time before Kinder started, but when my boy started junior high, I dropped him off and cried the entire drive to work. It was such a huge moment to me. I have a hard time explaining why, especially because I'm not typically that mom, the one that gets emotionally over big events. As he heads off to his senior year in a couple of weeks, I'm so ready for him to just graduate, that I don't feel it's a defining moment at all. Actually, I'm dreading dealing with him and school for the next 9 months. My youngest, she's going to 8th grade, next year will be high school for her, yet, I've never felt that "omg, she's in XXX (name the grade)" Maybe when she starts high school, it will hit me.
Turbo goes to second grade this year. Where did the time go? Your little guy will be fine. They surprise us all the time with how they do when we're not around.
Since I have no kids, I have no idea what to tell you but I am sending lots of hugs your way! Your little guy will do fine!
I can't imagine how hard it is to fork your kid over to a bunch of strangers.
But he sounds like a good kid with plenty of fight in him. It might be interesting, but sounds like he'll be great!
Thats something i definitely dont wanna think about. Ok...I lie. Maybe I dream about it somedays. ;o) But I go back and forth with this and homeschooling. I just dont know. But now with you writing this I'm leaning more toward homeschooling again!
Good luck Shell! I will be sending you guys love. I haven't really thought about that yet since we still have awhile to go but I'm sure I will be one of the criers!
I'm with ya in the always wondering why parents get emotional when dropping their kids off. Although I'm still out of the mom loop I'm starting to get it more as I watch my friends kids grow up. All the little milestones mean so much!
Working in child care as a TSS I can relate to this post. I cannot wait to travel down the road of motherhood and enjoy all these struggles that come along with it! It's the journey that counts =]
Thank you for the kind comment, its means a lot!
♥
I've got one more year under my belt, but I know it's coming. As a fellow former teacher, I know he will be taken care of. I, too, worry about the social stuff and that other people "get him" and love him as I do.
I'll talk to you in about a year, and you'll tell me it will be just fine, as I'm breathing into a paper bag frantically.
I'm willing to bet that you have him very well prepared for whatever he is about to face. :) He'll be great!!
Oh, Shell! Don't worry. I will be a blubbering idiot when I send my (future, nonexistent) children off to school someday. I'm just too emotionally attached to everything!
He will do fine! He will find someone who understands him, too. Before you know it, he's going to be begging to spend the night there!
He will do great!! I can remember following the school bus when Emily went off on the bus the 1st day of school. Brad wouldn't get on the bus so had to take him a few days, then ran to the school to wait for the bus to get in. His mom waiting for him to say he could do it. Each child is so different but they get it and they do okay! you will too! I didn't cry but it was odd having both kids in school. Hang in there girl!
I volunteered in school K-2 and it was the best! You really get to see everything and the inside scoop! Plus it is fun to see all of the kids grow up. Some parents only get to school once a year and that is so sad.
As for crying? My daughter will be in the 5th grade this year and I will cry. I always do. Mostly because I will miss her. She is so much fun and cool to be with and talk to. However, I do like the time it frees up for me as well, so there is an upside.
My oldest is entering the 5th grade and my youngest is going to 4th and I still get teary when I see them head off that first day...
I'm giving you an award on my blog tomorrow so be sure to come by and grab it!
well this is funny that I am reading this today as I said by to my 1st grader this morning! Its tough! You wonder about all those things! It must be especially hard because of your teaching background so you kinda know the behind the scenes!
Your gonna cry and his 1st or 2nd day will be hard but after that Its pretty easy!
Happy Wednesday Shell!
oH shell, i remember this...
with the twins I didnt really cry, I guess cuz they had each other and so I was ok. I got teary eyed and everytihng, but with my baby boy, I cried. He was my baby and I wasnt ready to let him become so big. Now he will be in 1st grade and my girls in 3rd. They are so excited and that helps make it all so worth it!
I am worked up about kindergarten- and Principessa will have the same teacher that she has had for the last three years (Montessori). Here is the thing-- it is ok to be worried. I think that as teachers we have extra worries- because we know too much. I could tell you that he will be fine, but a virtual hug might do more! So--virtual hug!!!
We aren't there yet! I think I will be a little of both though when I take my daughter to preschool just because she is with me every day but at the same time I am like you and thinking how nice it will be to be able to put the baby down for a nap without her there so I can have some quiet time!
for all the "strong woman" stuff I do, the "I skip out of daycare" things I write, I also know what a mush I am.
And with the twins likely being my only children, I know that when it's time for them to leave the safe house of their Daycare/preschool (same place) and move onto kindergarten I am going to be A HOT MESS.
No shame in that at all...you're a great mom,,and even through the tears it will be ok.
HUGS
The knot just grew ten-fold in my stomach as I wad this. Last year when we tried starting kindergarten I was really happy with how I did... But now I know how Lucas did and am so worried for this year.
I wish I could volunteer, but with a new baby it just isn't possible.
While we've got at least 2 years to go (my daughter straddles the age cutoff and the extension to test for early entry as a September baby), I know I'll worry. The school is actually across the street. But it's a very busy street. A teacher was struck by a car in the crosswalk! I'd feel better about her taking the bus then walking to school, so I'll most likely walk her across the street in the beginning. But those fears, they were all there the day I went back to work after maternity leave with her, even though she had a nanny at home. They were there the first day she went to the new daycare. I know they'll be there on that fateful first day of kindergarten. Hang in there mama.
Hang in there girl. I thought I'd handle it when Miss K went to school but it was nerve wracking that first morning. But once she sat at the big table waiting for her teacher on that first morning and she smiled the whole way to class I knew she was going to be okay. She looked so small carrying her backpack and lunch box but she was a "big girl" now. That is what she told me. You'll manage and he'll be smiling all the way there. It's hard to cut those apron strings sometimes. Enjoy these moments!
Well, I maybe worried a little bit, but maybe the time it took me to drive back home to my EMPTY house and go woohoo!!! Then I was fine.
I am so glad I have one more year before my oldest enters kindergarten! Ohhh, the worries! However, as always, the kids end up doing great, as I'm sure your son will too!
I cried the first day of his pre-school. I'm so that mom. He's going to the "beach" (I use the word loosely) for a field trip and I'm nervous, but I know he'll be fine. He's my baby...I just want to protect him. :support:
Oh I have been there! I was so nervous to send my first child off to school. I feared the school bus more than anything b/c it had to drive by the lake and I was so afraid in the winter when they went over the bridge it might get slippery. It was a lot easier when I sent my second child. Of course it was still hard, and we did move, so no more driving by the lake. Plus, he had his older brother to protect him. I have to start all over again next year when my third starts Kindergarten..ahhhhhhhh!
For me it was a growing-up thing. It happens too quickly. It was the worst with my baby, because she's my last one and it's so hard to see her grow up so fast!
Now she's going into 4th grade. *sigh*
I loved reading your post from a teacher's perspective. I'm not a Mom, but I work with young ones at school and know how scared you all must be when you leave them at the door to enter the scary world of school. I'm glad to hear you are going to volunteer some because that really will give you an idea of the atmosphere of the classroom. It's going to be just fine. An adjustment, for the both of you. That little one of yours is growing up! Can't wait to hear how wonderfully it all goes!
Way to capture my daily emotional roller coaster all in one post! I have moments where I think that time apart will be good for the two of us. Then I read this and feel tightness in my chest, slightly nauseous and then a bit faint.
Please just tell me it's going to be okay!
And she's riding the bus. With 5th graders.
Does anyone else think there's something wrong with having a child be your sole responsibility for all these years and then just sending them off on a bus????
I hear ya! Mine will go off to kindergarten in another year and I can't believe it!
Sorry I've been M.I.A. this week...I'm on vaca with the fam...AND I've started my new job, so it's been nuts!
This brought tears to my eyes :( Mine is starting preschool this year for 4 yr olds & I'm so nervous...I can't imagine kindergarten!!! :(
My sentiments EXACTLY ;D
I still get a little sad each year, my oldest will be in 2nd grade and #2 will start K. I am more sad about 2nd grade. He seems like such a big kid now. Drive him, take lots of pictures, its a big day for you too!
I think my youngest was the hardest to send to school the first time! He was my BABY!! I couldn't make him stay little and innocent forever?? *sigh*
((HUGS)), my friend!
I will say it gets easier as they age...accept when the transition from elementary to Jr. High. And I am sure next year when the oldest heads to high school my anxiety will go through the roof!
I don't know how they do things where you are, but when we lived VA the Kindergarten kids were usually kept away from the older kids. closer to the front. It's a comfort thing really. We didn't do the bus til my son was born. It was sooo helpful. And my oldest was 8 and used to the bus by then plus she was there to be with Little Middle.
I feel for ya on the all day thing. I always felt that was too much. Out here it is half days.
Good luck. Don't worry too much. It will be okay.
Last night my husband and I were talking about our 4 1/2 year old getting on the bus on Sept 8th. I am worried he'll stray from line or something and be lost. I worry he won't be himself...I worry I worry I worry.
All it gets me is a tightness in my chest!
We seem to be going through a lot of the same crap Shell.
Our hearts are being tugged aren't they?
Hang in there...you gots a friend in me!! ;o)
I felt that way when Kate started Kindergarten. She starts 2nd grade this year and I still worry :)
I cried...I always cry at Tyler's mile stones...But I don't care if you have 10 kids everytime you go through the mile stones your emotions will be the same and they are your babies and you will probably feel the same way with the next too ...Being a mom is the easiest hard job on earth...I hope it is a fabulous year for him I am freaking out because Tyler is starting 2nd grade...I feel like he is growing up way to fast for me ...lol they all do
I feel ya! My daughter looked at me on her first day as I was pondering of sitting in the back of her classroom all day, and said "is it time for you to leave yet?" Cue the tears!
Btw: I made a blog post for PYHO but I can't link it cause I'm on my phone and the linky don't show, so if someone could link http://plentiofsunshine.blogspot.com, I'd appreciate it! Thanks!
My son is going into 3rd grade and I still have the poem that the PTA handed out as I dropped my baby off for his first day of Kindergarten. Such a bitter sweet day, but I think the saddest part of Kindergarten is it's school... the count down begins.
I cried when my oldest went to preschool and to Kindergarten. Today she started 3rd grade and I was near tears at the idea of how fast its all going by!
I cried when my oldest went to preschool. But I was also pregnant with twins at the time, so I was a tad emotional.
This year all 4 of my boys will be in school. I'll have a 4th grader, 2 1st graders, and a preschooler. yay! Im gonna have 2 hours twice a week all to myself!!
My baby is starting Kindergarten this year too! I am glad that my mom is going to take her and my step-son to school. If I did I would probably cry! I am sure that I will cry anyways when I get her ready.
OMG! I'm so there. SO many things to worry about! It makes me wish I could just stow away in his backpack and shield him from every scary new situation. But I can't, which is going to drive me crazy until I just accept it.
Our babies are going to be fine. And so will we ... eventually. :)
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