All About Meme Monday

Trying again with Meme Monday with Supahmommy and MommyBrain. This time about five "breathtaking" lies that you have told.

I have to say that everytime that particular Seinfeld episode comes on, Hubs and I chant that we want to see the baby. Even though we've seen it umpteen times and know that we don't get to see him, we still want to.

So, here we go: little white lies that I've told just to be nice. Actually, I realized that there are several that I use on a pretty regular basis whenever I am in a certain situation. So, here are my little repetitive white lies.

1. How fun! Use this when someone is telling me all about their new favorite hobby or obsession or habit that I think is totally wacky. You like to keep all your baby's nail clippings in a ceramic vase that you handpainted? How fun! Learning to cook without any ingredient that contains the letter E in its name? How fun!

2. No, no one told me! Good for when someone who has been the subject of rampant gossip tells me for herself what was going on. Add mild shock to voice and widen eyes slightly. Nope, not going to admit that yes, I've heard that you split your pants when you bent down to give your son a hug and revealed your purple thong to everyone in the preschool drop-off line, including super cute preschool dad. No, no one told me!

3. Huh. I haven't read that/seen that/been there yet. I bring this one out when someone raves about something that I think is sucky and I'm not feeling in the mood to argue the point or crush their little happy bubble. Though, if I loved something and they are trashing it, I will say so. I only care enough to lie for a happy bubble, not a complaining one. You think that The Glass Castle is the most inspiring book you've ever read? Huh, I haven't read that yet. You think that CiCi's has great pizza? Huh, I haven't been there yet.

My last two are more of self-preservation kind of white lies, rather than lies I tell so as not to hurt someone's feelings. But, because I use them often, I think they need to be included.

4. I'm sorry that you feel that way. Notice there is no admission of guilt, no saying that I'm sorry for whatever it is that you are ranting about, just acknowledging your feelings...even though I'm lying about being sorry about how you feel. Origin of this particular line: Crazy-ass mom yelling at me during my first year of teaching because you think that giving your precious daughter a week and a half to write a 5 paragraph essay is completely unreasonable, given that she has other homework, along with cheerleading and soccer, and then pretty much demanding my head on a platter, a 2 week extension, and some sort of admission of how you are right, well I'm sorry that you feel that way. See how it can sound sweet? And yet does not admit that I am wrong and that you are right? With no promises to change a damn thing? Oh, yes, I bring this one out all the time...even though I'm not sorry, you crazy lady, spewing whatever kind of nonsense that I will not apologize for. But, you feel better after I say it, don't you?

5. This last one is spoken more to Hubs than anyone else, though if I see you two days in a row, I might tell it to you, too. I'm of the belief that pants are not necessarily dirty just because they have been worn for a day. Everything else, ew, yes, throw it in the ever-growing laundry pile. But, pants? If I manage to keep them stain-free(a miracle around here) for a day, then, hell yes, I'm wearing them again tomorrow. But, I washed them last night.